Bras?

Yes, some women become obsessed with their breast when faced with breast cancer and have to consider mastectomy as an option. I don't really understand it but I have never had to face breast cancer (thank God!), so I can't really say how I would feel.

To some women, even though they are long past breast feeding, consider their breasts to be part of their womanhood. An RL friend of mine, herself a 15 year surviver breast cancer and having had a mastectomy, operates a (RL) shop for women who have lost a breast. It is a part of one of several lingerie and women's clothing stores she owns. She has discussed with me the feelings of women who were her customers. More than one have said that they would have refused the mastectomy and choosen a lump removal even against medical advice, except for the fact that if their cancer came back it would have put their families through agony.

I hope that if I had to face that choice I would go with the option that gave the lowest chance of a return of cancer. With the devices and clothing my friend sells I would appear to all but my husband and my doctor to be normal. Even nipples can show through thin clothes, just as the real thing. Some of the bathng suit tops I wear would have to go, but others that I like would still work just as well. My friend also sells some rather sexy bathing suits for women who have lost a breast. The mastectomy part of her business operates at a loss, with profit made up by the other stores. She spends most of her time working with cancer survivors because she is one and understands how they feel.

Mary

social conditioning... we are more heavily judged on appearance, even by other women. breasts are a large part of our personal appearance. You can see the unspoken acknowledgement of that in the fact that post mastectomy breast reconstruction is actually covered by medicare in the US, and our own military has paid for implants for soldiers (granted not as frequently as is hyped). Personal appearance enhancements make up the largest money making industries targeted at women.

I have to admit that I have some of that feeling. I wear very feminine (some would say sexy) lingerie even when no one but me would know that I am wearing it (such as when I or my husband are out of town). I like to know that underneath by dirty jeans and sweat shirt (when working in the garden) or my business suit (when at work) I am very much a female. My breast may not be very big but I am proud of them, even when I do not show them off. And when dressed more casually, particularly in summer weight clothes or bathing suit, the outlines of my nipples do show.

However, I hope that when faced with a decision about breast cancer I would put the medical aspects first and give up a breast rather than risk my life and risk putting myself and my family through the ordeal of a long illness and then death. These days there are clothes and devices for mastectomy survivors (such as those sold by my friend, mentioned above, that keep the same outward appearance, even including the outline of a nipple showing through clothes. I would probably not feel the same knowing that it wasn't real, but, considering the alternatives, I would accept that, I hope.

It's like a friend who, at 30, had an hysterectomy and no longer has periods. She already has all the children she wants. She told me that in many respects not having that monthly problem was a blessing, but something didn't feel right when she was on the aisle with feminine products in the grocery store. Somehow she felt less a woman. Somehow, I think that I would be the same way. (I assume that it is different when one reaches that age when menopause is normal.)

Mary