My goodbye

In my 13+ years of using the internet I have never posted a thread where I state I am leaving, because I knew I would be back eventually

tonight/today I make an exception

tonight/today I post my goodbye

This is not easy to do.

I am not leaving second life, but I am leaving the forums... I just can not take it anymore

maybe it is me, maybe not
for a long time, I have gotten a vibe that I am not really well liked here, even when folks would say I am, I still had the underlying vibe that I am not.

I will admit, I did want to be friends with you guys, I did want to be invited to the parties and be part of the fun, I even went to the hangout, and tried to well.. hang out, but that vibe continued

so, instead of feeling like an outsider and that is a feeling I can not shake, I am choosing to move on, to not let it hurt.

why am I posting this, I really don't know, maybe to get it out, maybe to try to explain how it feels, maybe to show anyone who might be feeling the same way, that they are not alone, I don't know...

I wish you all everything you could ever want, and hope that both your RL and SL is happy and healthy

I do so wish it could have been different, but I think it is me more than anything, I just don't fit in

My SL will change, not having the forums being a big part of it, but I will adapt.

so as my mom used to tell me, if you are not wanted somewhere, don't go there, go where you are wanted, and I know my friends in SL love me, and want me, and enjoy my company, and now I can be the friend they deserve

I've always found your posts kind, helpful, often amusing. I will miss you here, and would hope to be a better friend to you in world.

go to the left and take one cross each.

Another approach might be just to quietly take a break. A year, or maybe 3.

I've learned to keep my options open and my mouth shut. =)

Best to you. Maybe see you in-world sometime.

- Infrared

Hello Rhaorth,

I'm relatively new to SL and this is my first post here, however I've some experience of other forums and chat rooms.

I've looked through some of your posts and they all seem very helpful and straightforward and I've not really noticed any adverse reaction.

I'm not sure who this "group" is that you'd like to be accepted by, but I'm guessing any sleight is unintentional.. and to be honest if it is intentional I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

If you enjoy the Forums, stick around and keep posting. I'm sure there are many new friends to be made here, even if you're still ignored by "them".

If all else fails.. I'll talk to you. I should warn you though that I don't know anything, I'm socially inept and I have a terrible flatulence problem

Take care

B

I don't know anyone on the forums. LOL...I have no clue where anyone hangs out...and usually...from many of the replies I receive or comments on my posts...I don't think I am well liked either. But, you know what...the forums are suppose to be a place where we help one another...answer questions...post our thoughts and opinions...and not flame others because they have opinions contrary to ours. I know the forum can get very vicious and personal at times and really turns my stomach, but for the most part, I think we are all here to learn and help others. I may not be able to build, texture, animate or script very well, my questions may sound stupid, ignorant, or *horrors upon horrors* may be a repeat question, but I am trying to do my best to learn and will share what I can with others.

These forums are for everyone not just a select few, if they were, the forums would have shut down a long time ago for lack of interest. It is up to you if you leave, but I, for one, would hate to see you leave especially if the forums are a part of the whole SL experience for you. I say stay! *giggles and grins wickedly*...be a thorn in the side of others.

Hi Rhaorth,

I wish you would reconsider...don't let a select few make you feel that way. I for one, find your postings very informative, intelligent and knowledgeable.

Sometimes you just have to turn a blind eye to things and not let it get to a personal level

I will miss reading you here.

Ashe

Been doubting wether to post here or not... because my thread and the reaction you got there was the last drop apparantly.

For what it is worth, I think you are making the right decision to a certain degree. Leaving might be overdone, but putting less time in the forums might be a good thing for you.

From what I read from you so far, you are probably a wonderful person in RL. Probably is SL as well Yet in the forums, you see too much drama everywhere. Worry too much about acceptance. That is not worth it, its only a forum you know.

We disagreed in my thread, and I ment what I said there. Even would have used much stronger words if it were not against the TOS.
But do not have our disagreement make you think I either dislike, or like you. It is a reaction to your post, not to you as a person. If things like that touch you too much as a person, forums really are not your thing.

Wishing you well, Marcel

I have seen no reason for you to leave the forum, Rhaorth. There are a few people who are seriously disliked here (look at who is writing this post, for instance), but you are not one of them. There are a lot of people here who resort to making things personal and insult people when they continue to disagree with them but, again, you are not one of them. Personally, I find a lot of people here to be very dislikeable. In fact, I wouldn't lift a finger to help a *lot* of them, but you are not one of them. Everyone has some opinions that differ from those of others, and we *all* one of them.

Perhaps what was written in Marcel's thread was the last straw for you - I don't know. If it was, I haven't seen any other straws. Also, you were not alone in your opinion there.

What you do is entirely up to you, but I haven't seen any reason for you to quit the forum.

Rhaorth,

Sorry if I ever made ya feel unliked, 'cuz you are always welcome in my neck of SL -- forums included. Dat said, I personally thought you were one of the most liked folks here.

Mari

Rhaorth.
I consider you a friend and even though we don’t see much of each other in-world anymore I do enjoy seeing your posts here in the forums. I know your absence will be missed by many. I think you do have a flare for the dramatic but I see it more as just your style of writing then anything provoking or intentional. You say what’s on your mind, and you’re definitely not the only one to do so.
I would try to talk you out of it but I’m sure that you’ve given it full consideration and you are doing what’s best for you. Of course I will be keeping my eye open for some opinionated newbie with a strong disposition and excessive knowledge of all things SL and wonder. LOL!
Best to you and I hope to see you around soon.

Rha I have always liked you I bet there are others too.
You're very talented and bright and I have always enjoyed your post, especially the show and tells.
Yet I have had moments too where I felt similarly but I tend to keep to myself too.
I guess long run it really doesn't matter if people like or approve of us, what matters is how we deal with others and ourselves in best ways we can even in hard times.
I have been bit under the weather and when things like that are going on everything seems darker then usual and going to be closing shop in few weeks refocus creating because I want too when I want too..
Sometimes I just need break from everything including the forums.

You can take a break from the forums without actually having to leave .

Most of the drama and liked/disliked, good/bad vibe, etc seems to come from the off-topic/silly/ranting posts (or ones that degenerate into that) that you can easily skip participating in.

If you like the actual intent of the forum (helping people with practical SL questions/problems) then you don't have to leave. Alternatively, stay clear of RA and focus solely on the content creation forums or Technical Issues which are clique and drama free for the most part (as RA should be but unfortunately isn't).

Just take a break. It can get rough around here (as in many internet forums). Focus on what makes you happy in SL and come back if/when you wish to. It's not worth being upset over the forums.

Yeah, don,t burn your bridges,look on the bright side.Take a break and let the train take the strain.

Taking a break from th e Forum or SL itself even is alaways a good idea when it get's you to wrapped up. If you have business interests, perhaps you can't take extended inworld breaks, but as far as the forum goes, if you are going to take it, or anyone in it, or what they say seriously, you are setting yourself up for a lot of agita.

The word Drama is vastly over used in SL, much like griefer. What many call drama is merely the result of human interaction. Most of us here are human, with a few exceptions possibly. Most Drama is fairly easy to avoid if you want to. Just walk away. I think that works for most people. I usually find that Drama comes to me only if I allow it, or create it myself.

It's only a Forum. No one dies.

Rhaorth, just take a breather from the forums. I don't know you as a matter of fact I don't know anyone here. But I do enjoy everyone's opinion even if I disagree. Yes in print sometimes things can be taken wrong or said very harshly as if it vocalized. I find these threads for the most part helpful and entertaining especially at work. Your postings to me are just fine, regardless if I am in agreement or not. At times it is necessary to take a step back before taking 2 to move forward. Or it is helpful stand still and catch your breath and gather your bearings.

Perhaps that is an alternative than leaving altogether. Yes, one's words can be hurtful, cutting deeply. But most of the time words are uplifting and inspirational. If someone upsets in print just simply walk away and ignore them. The same applies in rl. Never allow someone to control you and give them that victory simply due to you giving up. Because what goes around comes around. One day whoever that upset you so to make this decision to leave will obviously get theirs. Not that I wish it on that person(s). It is just the way it is. That is called the restoration of balance in life regardless if is sl or rl.

oh wow

Well good luck.

I agree take a break first and see how that goes.

The forums in its heart is just a spot where people list what they think.

You never really get away from what people think unless you stop socializing at all.

Wow. When I read your post I was shocked to hear. Now, I admit I don't read EVERY post in a thread, but I DO remember seeing your helpful posts many many times. I think you're a good person and I hope that if you don't change your mind about going, that you leave knowing that a lot of us appreciate your contribution of over 4000 instances of helping other people.

I have to agree with Brenda about the drama thing.
My brain and emotions can be very drama oriented if I let it and some days its harder then other days and I take things very personal.
I don't socialize much except recently but even that can be stressful not because of people
but because of bs in my own head often.
You don't need social life for drama, creative, artistic, sensitive minds can make tons all by themselves if allowed too.
Times like that its important to step back and focus on what you enjoy and let the rest go to best of your ability.

Now why's someone with an irish name like that talking about agita? LOL I love that word, but every time I use it, people are like--huh?

There have been clues for some time that something you hoped for from people who post here has been missing for you.

I'm hardly an insider myself but from the time I have spent observing and trying to join in my solid impression of you is that you are an amazingly talented artist, and an intelligent and thoughtful person. I've noticed that a lot people, including me, enjoy having you here and wish we knew how to make you understand that and be satisfied with it.

But there is no point in subjecting yourself to unnecessary aggravation and disappointment when there are so many other things you could be doing and people you could be meeting. I'll miss you and I hope I do see you again, here or in world or somewhere. Meanwhile please believe Dear Rha that you have my very best wishes.

You don't need to leave, just take a breather. Before long there'll be something you 'just have to' post about or ask! Take care!

I'm sorry to see you go Rha. I hope you rethink it, and just take a short break like others have suggested. We don't know each other well, but I've enjoyed your company the few times we've seen each other at the Hangout and always enjoyed your posts, let alone think you're a fantastic designer. Take care, and I hope you do come back refreshed and ready to go!

I hope you'll be back, Rhaorth. You'll be missed.

There have been plenty of times when I've needed a break from the forums myself, so I can definitely relate to how you're feeling now. It does tend to take an emotional toll on people. At the end of the day, though, I prefer to think it does more good than harm, so I've never stayed away more than a couple weeks at a time.

I hope you'll come to the same conclusion, and that you'll return. Either way, I wish you well.