Where can I find a mate?

Elora, while I appreciate and agree that such lyrical prose is more effective when there are emotions involved, I do find one may be moved by words regardless of their origins. I do not believe I am alone in this or so many heaving-ripped-bodices novels wouldn't sell as well as they do. Now, that is an extreme example of course, but music and poetry have long moved people through the power of words.

Personally I find Yosef's style immensely powerful because it is a delicate mix of eroticism and deliberate romance. What works for me may not work for you- or for others Variety and all that. On the other hand, while I found Vampareus words lyrical, they lacked the earthy tone that Yosef manages to convey of barely restrained, primal instinct. Again, just a question of personal preference. I just happen to be the sort that likes cavemen - minus the clubing, please.

I wanted to add something else to the mix here...

I still stand by my opinion that it is always best to be honest and forthright about what you are looking for esp when you have such specific ideas of what you want.

I want you (OP) to realize that as a newbie, you are going to be surprised how much of getting to know someone here, commit to them, etc. IS NOT A GAME. It may look like a game, but the people behind the av are real. If you go into this thinking that you are playing house with a doll, either you are going to get seriously hurt or you are going to seriously hurt someone. If you are looking for just the role playing without the emotion, check out a Sim City game. Seriously.

I just shed my newbie skin and one of the things that led me to that milestone is the realization that SL is an extension of your FL, when it comes to people and feelings. I have come to care about some people in SL, esp one specific person. And we are not even dating...or are we?

But...I speak for experience when I say:

1) Don't come into this thinking that it is just a game...the people behind the av and the feelings are real.

2) If you decide to proceed in finding a partner IW...make your intentions clear, it will help you. It really stinks to spend all kinds of time with someone, grow to care about them, and then realize that they are not interested in the same things you are. Trust me.

You will be surprised how serious all of this can get.

Had completely forgotten about them! That was fun

I agree with Damien, there are all types of men out there, to each 'her' own, and vice versa.

I agree...I like the words. But because I think about someone saying them to me and really meaning it. Not Yosef...

Hah! There is, in fact, at least one set of notecards that can be purchased - one set for males, one for females. I don't recall where I saw the reference to these. Sheesh...SL Cliff Notes! But...for some who have never been involved in texting, it may provide a useful starting point...

I saw those on SLExchange - OMG - how horrible- can you imagine? Seriously though, I do agree heartfelt is better but gee, art is art

And talk about thread derailment!

To the OP - If you read back, the general consensus does seem to be to relax and let it flow. Honestly- you don't have any idea how intense things can be in here. Give it time. Things happen at their own pace. Good luck!

Who is Vampareus? Must have missed that one completely!

I love how Trout can almost always make me laugh at any time of day no matter what my mood is. That is the kind of person that would be a friend for life.


Yes, that expresses very well why I like Yosef's writing. While I probably wouldn't buy it in RL or maybe even for long in SL, it is a nice change of pace from the lines a lot of guys use here. And sometimes it is fun to just go with the flow and play along - cuz SL is supposed to be fun.

You will find him on the undying thread- right around when Yosef said "the smell of your throat" - must be a couple hundred posts back by now Vampareus came back with rivulets of wine pooling in places or words to that effect - come on! You gotta give the guys credit- this is not your run of the mill stuff you hear walking down the street!

This is so true and sometimes learned the hard way - and it really is not restricted to newbies. I had been in SL for almost a year before I fell in love here and it still took me by surprise when it happened and hit me hard when it ended.

You know, I am always up front and honest about my RP and my drama, and yet some still get involved with me. Then are shocked when I have naked knitting parties at our house with all of our neighbors and my slaves.
/me bonks herself on the head
But, I was honest and I gave them fair warning.
And they say I am the crazy one.
Pft!

I think Yo-yo means it at the time. When he's giving you his attention, you are getting ALL of his attention, and it shows in his text. Which is not to say that five minutes later he won't be giving the same undivided attention to the next girl in line...

Hey...if the forum men were food, what would they be? I'll start...

Yosef: dark, rich chocolate. Sweet, rich, delicious; picks you up fast...and drops you.
Trout: strawberries. Sweet, juicy, tart, a little bite to him. Always room for one more.
CX: gumbo. Plain and unassuming, but with spice and unexpected richness and variety.
Chris: Steak. Grilled, with mushrooms and onions.

Lindy you forgot Mac!

So, if someone tells you they have naked knitting parties with neighbours and slaves - probably true.

If they tell you they are dentists who like to mow the lawn - they could be out to 'get' you.

Just as in RL, SL can be confusing at times when it comes to who you should trust. I base my trust more on the actions of people, than on their words. I trust people until they give me a reason not to. This trust grows over time, it isn't instantaneous. If you're looking for a quick mate, or friendship, than be prepared to meet a few liars along the way.

I didn't forget him. Or anyone else. I said, "I'll start". Now it's YOUR turn. Come on, who are you hungry for?

This is SO true, esp the part about the best way to find something. Take your eye OFF the ball!

Just be aware (as Jezabelle seems to be warning) that like RL, many guys will play along and then run off when the novelty wears off. Even more so than in RL, I suspect. I can't count the number of "forever" relationships I've seen (in people's profiles) that don't outlast a week or two.

I agree with whoever said not to mention insemination right off the bat. But if anyone asks "what are you looking for in SL", or "why do you come here", I suggest you be open and say that you think that RPing a family would be fun. Feel free to point out that you're more interested in motherhood/family than in romance per se (if that's the truth) or sex.

And as posted above, be open to things you aren't planning to do here. Find fun things to do, like scuba diving, skydiving, exploring, dancing, hanging out and talking to people, and making things if you're so inclined.

It's more important to meet people you like than to find someone to fill a role. With just a little luck and a little patience, you'll find someone who's both.

Just don't expect "forever" to last more than a couple weeks, and be happy when it does.

BTW, The Shelter is a good place to meet people who aren't just looking to get laid.



Very good advice. It will help avoid wasting your time and others. Your 1st life tab is a good place to mention that you're married and *not* looking for any encroachment of SL into RL.

It's good that you and your hub have such a good relationship, and that you're both willing to laugh. There's plenty of fodder for laughter here! Also, it's not unusual that he thinks it's stupid. To many people, SL seems like playing with dolls, and I can understand that. If he's a tinkerer, you might show him that he can make things in SL, which might be fun.

BTW, if you do plan to keep the romance part of your SL family on the play-acting side, I suspect you'll have a better chance of finding a suitable partner, as well as having less chance of hurting yourself. There's a vast number of female avs on SL looking for "Mr. Right", including a serious romantic relationship and commitment, and there's a large number of male avs who take advantage of this.

LOL

Jumpy is a 99 cent greasy taco from Jack in the box, to only be consumed after 2 am and a long night of drinking cheap beer.

LOL

OMG, I have not had a Jack in the Box taco in years - and it did always take a lot of drinking and the wee hours of the morning before I could eat them.

SL men food

Lear Cale: a ripe and juicy peach. Freshly plucked from the tree, soft and welcoming that begs you to hold it in both hands. And if you bite it just right, you get that orgasmic sweet juice that runs from your mouth to your chin.

/me blushes!

That's so much better than "Lear Cale: ground glass".

Thanks sugar.

Hell that's no secret, I've been salivating over Yosef for weeks now - not going to try and do anything about it other than stew and enjoy the quiet torture, though.

Anyone can do that? Anyone can copy/paste Yosef's text. And sure, any intelligent, literate, creative, sensitive talented writer can originate it. SL is just chock full of people like that. Chock full!

/me signs up for Yosef's creative chatting class

Baaaby, you don't need to take a chatting class. Trust the Jezabell (LOL, thats funny). You just need to put down that little hammer and your other building tools and come over and let me oops let me IM that to you instead.

Muah™

I have to say this, there are many women who would love to do this as well,. maybe you can find a woman. There is no need to go any further with it then just supporting each other.. it's a new experiance and you might get some understanding about same sex relationships. just a thought.

But i do agree about sometimes relationship rp can get to deep and involved, when playing that close to someone feelings tend to run deeply and out of control..

Hello Faye,

I am not really here to give any advice, but rather my opinion (what the hell do I know)...
I was thinking what it would hurt to let your mate find you!
Put a notice in the forum for ‘Real Life Meetings and Events’ (I have seen a few in there for mates...and they weren’t deleted by moderation) List all your likes and dislikes, List all the qualities you would like to see in a mate. Then fix your Profile to match accordingly (be sure to add a nice picture of yourself (SL... & RL if you like). Then do a lot of exploring all over SL...Hit a few populated spots, and clubs and such. Let HIM make the next move...It will happen sooner than you would expect it to. And with a gorgeous avi and wardrobe...I can BET you within a week you will have a dozen or so eligible bachelors clamoring for your attention!

Then be careful who you pick...most guys will try to take charge of your life.
Find someone who is not a controller or manipulator (unless that kind of guy appeals to you)

One thing that I had looked to avoid when choosing my mate was the jealousy factor. Find someone who has little to no jealousy in them and you got it made!

Claire is my perfect mate, and without controlling me, or without even trying she has managed to tame ‘most’ of the beast in me. (We eventually will have our wedding, and if she wants to be pregnant and have my baby (or babies) that will happen too! Golly! Imagine that!

I know they like to mention Trout and Yoseph a lot but they secretly long in their hearts for the catch that Claire got...the wild one, a real tomcat of a guy, a real tiger.

Look for a guy like me, and you got it made...but don’t be surprised if he still enjoys browsing among the lilies, and the daisies and all the other beautiful flowers out there from time to time, if you get my meaning. If you truly love each other and allow each other personal freedom, your relationship will outlast, and outshine the 'other flowers and flings'.

Ask him point blank if it would make him feel jealous to see you briefly with another man...THAT is a litmus test...to see how he would answer or react to that.

Claire knows I am not jealous of any of her other man friends...on the contrary, I encourage her to enjoy herself when I am not there. I think Sl friendships could all use a dose of anti-jealousy.

Yeah, we are talking about all the REAL feelings that come with any SL relationship.