im sure this has happened to lots of you on sl :(((

Who is this masked man?

Ohhhh...you poor thing. Here's another tissue

not sure how I missed this but... yep, it makes sense, (especially after seeing some comments in the keeping it in SL thread)

But even when the character is made up, and people know they are made up, emotional attachments still occur...

perfect example is anyone who watches soaps on a regular basis, they know the people are only characters, but a bond (and only in the mind of the watcher) develops, you find yourself feeling emotions for and about that person, rooting them on, hurting when they hurt, happy when they are happy, and if they get cut from the show, you hurt, you feel a loss the same as though someone in your life were suddenly taken away..

so yeah, even though someone lied to you, your feelings are still very real, and you just have to grieve in whatever way works for you then dare to love again.

Yes, this, in spades.

To me it seems that the bigger and more hurtful lie wasn't the one about gender, but the one hiding the fact that he was married. If a person's deceiving you about their marital status, they're probably also deceiving their spouse about what they're doing in SL too.

How much does RL gender really matter, if you're never going to meet/marry/have babies in RL? Not so much, I don't think.

I have a voice morpher somewhere that actually does a reasonable job, with 3 female voices to chose from, one of them is a bit deep though, although I have a dep voice natrually so a guy with more mid range might pull it off a lot better

thank you - i try to pretend everything is ok but my body just screams to me "hey - send in damage control - that heart of yours is split to pieces"

Yeah, right. Ofcourse. How silly of me to think otherwise.

An interesting concept - a "friend". Hmmm.

And yes, for me it IS inherently "dangerous" as you noted. And that's NO lie. When I come to think about it for many people it would be a very stupid thing to do.

So because of that I just dont want to use a webcam. I just dont trust "strangers". I have NEVER met anyone (except my Mum and my close friend) in my relatively short life I have ever trusted enough to be so computer-intimate. I am a tech-age person but my friend and I would never cam each other.

Suppose if I met a guy in real and we hit it off and there was a need to cam with each other I might be persuaded but I am simply not the chatty "see me in my new hairstyle" kind. It's not my thing. I prefer coffee in reality or a supper and a pair of theatre tickets. None of my friends webcam with me in real, none of my business associates either.

But despite whoever I may be, I don't think I am that unusual in not liking a web cam. In fact I dotn think it's safe for anyone. I don't think any of my friends from 16 to 66 use webcam. Just very, very "private" people in that regard.

I might just add that I also have a distinct paranoia against camera phones - I have seen enough damage done by those f**king things.

I apprreciate your comments. You sound a decent type.

just adding after reading Rha's comment: No, I dont mean its bad for everyone. If you wanna speak to brothers etc that is fine. Anyway, I dont have brothers or sisters I would want to ever webcam. But its nice you do.

??? I don't geuss we'll be be discussing why :hrug:: your prerogative of course.

and thanks, I like to think I'm a decent sort, but it's nice to hear =) if you see me inworld say hi. maybe you could convince me.

/hijack

yes it is nice to be able to webcam with my brothers
(and I should hope it is fine, and even if you did not think it was fine, so what? not gonna stop me from using it!) sheesh.. why do people think they can tell others what is "fine" and what is not.

however I also webcammed with my hubby before we met in person, and I saw his kids on it too, and it made them meeting me for the first time, much much easier

I would not go so far to say they are dangerous for everyone.

Everything in life is dangerous to someone, or many someones, but that doesn't mean it is dangerous for everyone.

I have had bad experiences with webcams, some that totally bite me in the ass, but will that stop me from ever using it again? nope, I will just be more careful who I use it with. (and now, it is only family I use it with, since I have no need to use it with anyone else.)

*shrug*

of course if you think they are wrong for you, then that is your right, but to preach they are dangerous and bad for everyone is wrong, let people decide for themselves if it is right or wrong for them. (unless said person is underage, then it is up to the parent/guardian)

You could always ask any one of about a dozen sl friends who have met me in rl or webcammed with me. Would you like a reference?

Pie (Only lies about important things)

PS Sarcasm only works effectively if you usually say sensible things coherently. I have already suggested that you use

QFT

Pie ('nuff said)

I have never lied to anyone in SL. If I do not know someone well, I may withhold some details, but I never lie here. And I do not believe that the majority of my friends here lie.

I'm sorry your experiences here have left you so jaded and cynical.




THIS !!!! Common Sense is what so many lack.


What about me waving my skirt?

Firstly, my first post so feel lucky I'm even saying such :3, and ok. Let's all be a bit honest here...lies and deceit will happen sometime, RL or SL included. I, myself had a stint where I couldn't decide if I wanted a male or female character. Luckily for me, my masculine nature won out and I can say that behind the character is a very friendly and fun-loving guy. I've had my fair share of experiances with this issue, and thankfully, i've always let people know when romance is involved that when my character was a female avvie, i myself was in fact a male. It seemed to lead to two things....a thank you, or a F* off punk. I dont mind it when i had gotten that second version since i understand. Another thankful note, im keeping my avvie male from now on, because being the other way tends to lead to alot of anger and such. But I seem to be drifting along a side-point, here. Regardless, I feel bad that people are getting hurt as I am only human and can understand how much it would suck. Yet, to be truthful....one needs to be VERY careful when starting relationships, in or out of RL and SL. It can be quite messy if they aren't. I, myself am a lovable dork, I say it loud and im proud to laugh and enjoy it. , and people seem to really like me for it, but hey, that's just who I am. So, you can see how i'd meet all kinds of people and how my lovable and caring nature would be something of a magnet to people as well. I find myself in spots i regret and others i wished i knew about before-hand to avoid. But I learned as you should, that you cannot let those bad times scare you away from finding the good ones. I've had some real heartfelt loves and some real deep and meaningful relationships as well, ones I wouldn't take back for the world.

Nicholas (P.S. Really is my first post, a pleasure to meet you all)

In this day and age a healthy dose of paranoia and care is a wise precaution against all manner of desperadoes and weetigos.

No, everybody doesn't lie in SL. (Unless we're counting the little white versions, like, "Oops, phone's ringing" or "laundry time." Which I don't, because sometimes, it's necessary to use a small social lie to extract oneself from an uncomfortable conversation without hurting the other person's feelings.) But if we're talking the big variety - i.e., people lying about real-life genders, mates, etc. - then no. Honest people are out there, I promise you.

On a side note - there's been some discussion in this thread about how telling voices can be. Lemme tell ya, you can be fooled. I had bronchitis when I was 9, and for some reason my voice lowered dramatically thereafter. Telemarketers and my parents' friends alike constantly thought I was my mother when I answered the phone. Talk about some embarrassing slipups.

why use a "white lie" just simply tell them you have to go, you are not lying, no excuses, just... I have to go, and then... go.

oh really?
so everyone posting to this thread are liars? We all lie?
I take offense to that, as I do not lie, I am not a liar, RL or SL.

As for Annousk, does it matter if they are male or female?
The only part that makes me wonder is why the new name, to post about the same story... I find it rather sad, did they not get the compassion and such they were seeking the first time?

As for the do not trust anyone in SL, well if you want to live your SL that way, expect to be a very lonely person.

I say trust each person on an individual basis as much as you feel comfortable trusting them.

To lump everyone into the untrustworthy liar category is just plain wrong.

you say you have been there too? How do we know you are not lying? After all you said everyone in SL lies, if this is true, then that means everything you said is a lie, which would actually mean everyone in SL doesn't lie... which would then turn your comment into a falsehood... nasty cycle there.

An excellent first post Nicholas. Welcome to the crazy, crazy world of dreams that is SecondLife

There is a sad irony that one persons newfound freedom can be someone else's entrapment and misery.

bilbo99 emu .... not a liar

It is pointless taking offence Rha, since you have no means of proving to me or most of the Forums that you are not a liar, and your attitude reflects both what an honest person would say and what a liar would say.

I have not been hurt by liars in SL, just disappointed too often to be prepared to worry whether what anyone says to me is anything more than dialogue from a work of fiction. Does it make any difference unless and until there is rl contact, and there is still the scope for lies even then?

Pie (You mentioned further down your post that you should trust others as far as you are comfortable; I don't feel comfortable trusting anyone, and despite making that transparent, I seem to have an overloaded friends list)

I take what people tell me in SL about themselves at face value....you say you are a neuro surgeon/astronaut/football star, than that is what you are. We aren't going beyond SL so if you aren't , it really doesn't matter to me. There is no trust to violate, at least for me.

We all have the potential to lie here, and there is no true way to vet that, without an extensive relationship. I'm not interested in that, so I don't worry about it.

I am your rl husband, Brenda

Pie (Taken at face value?)

Then who did I bury?