im sure this has happened to lots of you on sl :(((

Hey Conifer,

You think outside the box

But no its always been the same person from the start. I know this due to the phone calls ect. And he/she doesnt come on sl anymore....unless they now have an alt which i will never find out about anyway. I still think this dorkhead got caught by his wife and he now cant come on anymore.

Anyway i have resisted texting and emailing so far tonight. Instead of doing that i am watching movies on my laptop.

I just know that if i do get involved with anyone again on SL my heart remains off limits. It stays in SL and there will be no boundaries crossed. I will not let myself be fooled like this again!!

Be careful with your hearts people (on sl anyway). Im sure there are many honest ppl on SL that wouldnt do this but im just not going to trust anyone for the time being. I think i will put my heart into a real life person (yes im bitter)

The Ancient Greeks had the right idea
I say go for it, you might enjoy it

Did you miss the bit about the real sex of *both* participants?

Pep (Sounds like another recent thread - or sixteen)

Do we know the real sex and orientation of the OP?

Pep (Not prying - it is very relevant)

Female-Not sure of orientation,but since she was involved with what she thought was a woman. Bisexual at the least I would assume.

Another point - am I the only one hearing echoes from previous threads that seem to be about the same relationship?



This reinforces what I've come to realise about SL - that there are some people here (I hesitate to say mostly men, but I do believe that) who look upon other avs as just playthings for their entertainment. The fact that you were new inworld at the time is significant. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the person who did this to you hadn't done it before. They will probably do it again. Newbies are less prepared for the depths to which these types are prepared to go.

I feel for you Annousk (pretty name, btw). But let it go. Delete them from your RL, from your SL and from your heart and look for real love in RL instead.

--
Aes

"...
And it's not a cry that you hear at night,
It's not somebody who's seen the light,
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah... "

(Leonard Cohen song, but The Jeff Buckley version is best)

No,I was thinking the same thing actually.

yes you have heard this from me before but i have come on as an alt...i didnt want my ex to be traced back to me.

And since then my ex had been going up and down and all oer the place. Giving me hope and then disappearing again. The first time they disapeared is when i found out their real gender. The 2nd time they disapeared which is this week i gave up...go figure. *sigh*

Anyway lots of good advice on this board and this time im taking it

I do not think there is any significance at all to this.


Sure they probably will since they obviously like having a relationship in SL, but i do not think that any one is specifically seeking out newbies for the sole purpose of starting a relationship because they are easier to fool/trick into thinking that the gender of an avatar is the same as that person in RL.
[/QUOTE]

I think that there is a very high probability that exactly this strategy is widespread. I can't remember whether money was mentioned in the original thread, but this is precisely the sort of vulnerable mark that conmen prey on.

Pep (Realistic, not cynical)

Hey there,

money was never exchanged between us and this person never asked for money from me. Thank god. Actually in a way i wish they had asked for money bc then the red flag wouldve arisen sooner.

I do want to defend this person slightly. I do beleie they genuinly did have feelings for me and i do beleive that they are mentally ill. Ive decided not to be angry with them. I actually feel sorry for them. However i dont excuse their behaviour of getting my hopes up and then disapearing on me again without really giving me some sort of closure. But i guess i will have to make my own closure.

Someone said they have probably done this over and over again in world. They have only been inworld about one month longer than me. But hey they couldve had many different accounts befoe they met me. Ill never really know the answer ect but i think that is something that you have to accept in sl when you give your heart away foolishly. But i did trust them with all of me.

Im glad for people that have had sucess storys. Im almost envious in a way. I still think for me its not a good thing atm for me to frequent sl lol. Actually i do go on there to participate in a depression support group. I have moderate depression myself so this does help me So yes there are good things in sl to

You're right. Lots of good things and also good people.

At the very least you've learned something about yourself and will be wiser in future. I wish you luck and happy times.

--
Aes

Oh be quiet.

You just want to agree with your alt.

FGS!

I am NOT his alt. Gods damn it. is everyone THAT stupid around here?????????????????????????????????????

Edit to add:
I've had enough of that, thanks very much. He's my friend - he's not my alt and I'm not his.

--
Aes <----- female and not Welsh

neener neener neeeeeeener

Looks like i pushed the right button - just on the wrong person!



I was just messing around. I wanted to poke at Pep.

YOU might think it's hilarious - I do not. If you want to poke him, leave me out of it.

Oh jesus take a valium or twenty. There are worse things in the world than being called someone's alt on a freakin message board.

This I think is why the situation hurts you so much. It's not about romantic feelings or deception. You're concerned about the person's mental condition, want to help the person, and would feel guilty if you walked away from the person.

Assuming that everything the person has told you is true, there's nothing you can do to help a person with a mental illness long-distance. That person needs professional help, and you (I assume) are not a professional. To really do anything as a friend, you would have to be present in the person's life, which you are not.

But the most important thing to remember is that you cannot help anyone with a problem if that person does not invite your help. If this person is avoiding you, then you are not invited to help. You have done all you could by making your availability for this person clear. Whether or not this person accepts your help is up to that person alone.

You have done all you can. It's up to the other person now. It's not your fault; it's entirely the other person's decision. If you come to grips with that fact, then you'll probably find you get over your romantic feelings, and feelings of being dumped, very quickly.

Briana, how would you feel if I took my dislike of your politics out on Nina?

Pep (Be civil even if you can't be civilised)

Ok, so fewer "???" would have made the point.

--
Aes

Now you do understand that this is signature quotation worthy material considering the source?

It is my creed!

Pep (Criticise the post not the poster)

Annousk, I had a similar experience...

I was in a relationship with someone wonderful, she shared some info (type of work, where she lived) and then put a quote in her profile I couldn't read. One google later and I found the quote in a person's forum posts with a real name (obviously masculine). Another web search and their work website with picture came up, confirmation it was the same person, but not the gender expressed in SL.

Did this surprise me? No... My intuition and the way they communicated and acted in the relationship (I have dated both guys and girls, and guys playing girls) had me suspecting that was the case to begin with, so it was nothing but confirmation and didn't change anything.

I didn't feel betrayed at all, she expressed herself as she most desired, and I fell in love with who she was in SL. I have yet to have the desire to meet someone RL (before SL, I know from experience that often doesn't work out how you might be hoping).

You are right that love blinds us, and in SL we fall in love with a fantasy too...we can also appreciate people for who they are inside regardless of their external "packaging", which is wonderful to me!

I've also learned it's easy and fast to fall in love in SL, relationships evolve at a quicker pace, but grieving afterward takes me the same amount of time as a full RL relationship...

/me hugs!

Omg...

If you want to mess with a sleeping dragon go right ahead. F*cking with Nina is like smacking a wasps nest and then running into a cave with a bear in it to escape.

It *was a joke* Obviously you 2 are too uptight to laugh at an ice breaker. Sorry if it offended you.

Attacking someone for their politics is what happens on other forums, not on this one, and is very bad form. But if you wish to go there, knock yourself out.

Aeslyn, you are now the coolest person ever because you know about Jeff Buckley. Great quote.