im sure this has happened to lots of you on sl :(((
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Clarissa Lowell
Gone. G'bye.
Join date: 10 Apr 2006
Posts: 3,020
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03-06-2009 12:25
From: Annousk Coba You will probably all make fun of me for falling for this person and i even hate myself for falling the way i did. But im only human and love blinds us. No. In fact, hugs offered if you want one. What may have happened is the person fell for you too and had not foreseen that happening. Imagine their possible torment as they felt themselves falling more for you and knew it could never go anywhere. That could touch off a major depressive episode for sure... Sorry it happened to you. But going from RL experiences (not this sort but just, heartache) time does heal all or mostly all. :/ |
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Lindal Kidd
Dances With Noobs
Join date: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 8,371
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03-06-2009 14:11
From: Pie Serendipity Watch out! The SS are here!
Pie (That's Social Services, *not* an invitation for Brenda to wave her pants) Shoot, I thought it was Godwin Time.
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It's still My World and My Imagination! So there.
Lindal Kidd
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Annisha Pevensey
Registered User
Join date: 10 Oct 2008
Posts: 91
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03-06-2009 16:07
How do you enable private messages?
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Annousk Coba
Registered User
Join date: 15 Dec 2008
Posts: 7
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03-06-2009 16:20
Dammit i just realised ive been doing something stupid...posting in under my other accoun grrrrr. And theres no way to delete it *sigh* Well im preety sure you cant fnd out who my ex partner is anyway.
Anyway i went on SL last night just to pay the rent on the castle bc if i ever decide to do SL again like i used to at least i have a home. Anyway ive done a silly thing. THe last time i wetn into my account there was a girl standing outside my castle and she has a fairly new account. She was standing by the headstones crying. I was intrigued so i started chatting to her. Silly me thought she mayve been my ex coming back as an alt lol.
Anyway as i said i went on last night to pay the rent and she was online. My radar said she wasnt too far away. So i just started chatting to her. We met up and omg her shape and face look slighty like my ex. So now im starting to transfer all the feelinigs i had onto my ex onto this person. This person has alot in common with my ex and this person has already told me they like me alot. I said to take things slow with me coz i dont need anohter sl relationship in my life. I can feel it would be dangerous for me. Its taken 5 weeks to start to realise ive got to let go of the ex. Now i meet someone thats similar to her in looks and interests.
I think part of me wants it to be my ex as an alt. This really is not good. But i think maybe a rebound would be the best thing for me. This person knows my situation so i dont know why there so gung ho on getting involved with me. MMM to back off or go onto sl and say hi to her again lol
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Malia Writer
Unemployed in paradise
Join date: 20 Aug 2007
Posts: 2,026
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03-06-2009 16:24
From: Annisha Pevensey How do you enable private messages? At the top of the page click the "User CP" link. then click "Edit Options". In that part is a checkbox to enable private messaging, for some reason this forum has it OFF by default. |
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Annousk Coba
Registered User
Join date: 15 Dec 2008
Posts: 7
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03-06-2009 16:59
ok both accounts have enabled private messages.
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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03-06-2009 17:18
From: Void Singer
PS what the heck is wrong with web cams and voice?
We discussed this one not long ago. No way I'll voice with anyone here or webcam either. Just doesnt seem safe. Just me perhaps but that's how I feel.
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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03-06-2009 17:22
From: Annousk Coba Dammit i just realised ive been doing something stupid...posting in under my other accoun grrrrr. And theres no way to delete it *sigh* Well im preety sure you cant fnd out who my ex partner is anyway.
Anyway i went on SL last night just to pay the rent on the castle bc if i ever decide to do SL again like i used to at least i have a home. Anyway ive done a silly thing. THe last time i wetn into my account there was a girl standing outside my castle and she has a fairly new account. She was standing by the headstones crying. I was intrigued so i started chatting to her. Silly me thought she mayve been my ex coming back as an alt lol.
Anyway as i said i went on last night to pay the rent and she was online. My radar said she wasnt too far away. So i just started chatting to her. We met up and omg her shape and face look slighty like my ex. So now im starting to transfer all the feelinigs i had onto my ex onto this person. This person has alot in common with my ex and this person has already told me they like me alot. I said to take things slow with me coz i dont need anohter sl relationship in my life. I can feel it would be dangerous for me. Its taken 5 weeks to start to realise ive got to let go of the ex. Now i meet someone thats similar to her in looks and interests.
I think part of me wants it to be my ex as an alt. This really is not good. But i think maybe a rebound would be the best thing for me. This person knows my situation so i dont know why there so gung ho on getting involved with me. MMM to back off or go onto sl and say hi to her again lol Obviously the figure standing by the headstones "crying" (how is that possible?) is her friend who is a male posing as a woman. This just doesnt read "right" to me. "This really is not good" sums it all up. I think we're being strung along.
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Void Singer
Int vSelf = Sing(void);
Join date: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 6,973
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03-06-2009 18:33
From: Jig Chippewa We discussed this one not long ago. No way I'll voice with anyone here or webcam either. Just doesnt seem safe. Just me perhaps but that's how I feel. must've missed that conversation. not a comment on your feelings, just curious about the why's.
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Brenda Connolly
Un United Avatar
Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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03-06-2009 18:49
No offense meant, but I think the OP could use some time away from SL, perhaps the Internet as well.
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Don't you ever try to look behind my eyes. You don't want to know what they have seen.
http://brenda-connolly.blogspot.com
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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03-06-2009 19:46
From: Void Singer must've missed that conversation. not a comment on your feelings, just curious about the why's. Well, voice is easy to copy and use again. If one's voice is an essential part of one's public persona and profession then allowing its use in any situation (especially here where no one can be trusted) is rather foolish. I have never found voice to be successful here on the very few occasions I have used it. I prefer the typing and the intimacy of the written word. Webcam? The only times men have asked me to webcam are when sexual favours are being asked. I have absolutely NO intention of being viewed or filmed in a compromising position by anyone. I don't let boyfriends do it in reality so I surely won't do it here. I am sure that for some people it's fine. But its not my gig. So I must always wander under a cloud of is she a she or isnt she? But I dont care as long as I know my moans and groans and my shuddery hands and spritzing body are not being recorded by some bloke who insists that he "really adores his girl" and won't share our intimacy with his mates. Anyway, I dont particularly wanna chat with a bloke when I am having sex and I could be sorely disappointed with reality if they were on webcam. It's just me. I dont trust anyone. I've survived because of that credo. I have other "rules" which people can compare with their own. I bet we share many of them. I never let a man sleep in the same bed as me. He can use my guest facilities. I never let a man use my bathroom. He can pee on the lawn as far as I'm concerned. (I DO have other bathrooms!). I never reply to a text that reads "where are you?" or "what are you doing?" if a boyfriend sends it. Boyfriends are not allowed to smoke, chew gum or wear those stupid caps that they wear turned round or in any confiiguration. I will always wear perfume - if they are allergic or asthmatic they can hold their breath. I am not difficult to "work with" - I just have a few rules. 
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Void Singer
Int vSelf = Sing(void);
Join date: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 6,973
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03-07-2009 00:17
I can't stop laughing.. I'm having this vision of some poor love struck puppy lying on the floor next to your table at some restaurant going into anaphylactic shock as the waiter comes up with the check and you pointing down at him casually.
I semi get the web cam thing, although you do realize there's OTHER uses for web cams, right? =) not sure what they'd be doing with recordings of your voice though (unless it's related to the same thing as the web cam)... personally I just don't like the way my voice sounds recorded for low bandwidth.
Viva la différence.
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Aeslyn Dae
over and out
Join date: 12 Jul 2007
Posts: 453
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03-07-2009 02:37
From: Jig Chippewa Obviously the figure standing by the headstones "crying" (how is that possible?) is her friend who is a male posing as a woman. This just doesnt read "right" to me. "This really is not good" sums it all up. I think we're being strung along. I have suspicions about all this too. There have now been three, long, overwrought threads all about the same 'relationship'. It's almost as if the OP is *enjoying* her woes. It's beginning to be like a RA forum soap opera! Sorry, but that's what it feels like by now. Annousk/Annisha/whoever.. even if every word is true, living out your emotional life with every step, twist and turn held up for display and discussed by all and sundry doesn't seem to me like a good idea for getting a grip. -- Aes |
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Pie Serendipity
Registered User
Join date: 9 Feb 2009
Posts: 217
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03-07-2009 03:30
From: Annousk Coba Dammit i just realised ive been doing something stupid...posting in under my other accoun grrrrr. And theres no way to delete it *sigh* Of course you can delete posts - just "Edit" them, then tick the TWO boxes to indicate you want to delete the posts. You can't delete an original post, but you can edit the content to nothing, and you can't do anything about th econtent of posts that have already been quoted - except ask those posters to edit you out of their own posts, which gets slightly awkward. Pie (Doesn't understand why anyone would want to post using an alt) |
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Pie Serendipity
Registered User
Join date: 9 Feb 2009
Posts: 217
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03-07-2009 03:34
From: Jig Chippewa I dont trust anyone. I've survived because of that credo. I have other "rules" which people can compare with their own. I bet we share many of them. I never let a man sleep in the same bed as me. He can use my guest facilities. I never let a man use my bathroom. He can pee on the lawn as far as I'm concerned. (I DO have other bathrooms!). I never reply to a text that reads "where are you?" or "what are you doing?" if a boyfriend sends it. Boyfriends are not allowed to smoke, chew gum or wear those stupid caps that they wear turned round or in any confiiguration. I will always wear perfume - if they are allergic or asthmatic they can hold their breath. I am not difficult to "work with" - I just have a few rules. And you are still single in rl? Gosh, that's astonishing . . . Pie ("I bet we share many of them." Uh, that's a big *NO*) |
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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03-07-2009 03:45
From: Void Singer I can't stop laughing.. I'm having this vision of some poor love struck puppy lying on the floor next to your table at some restaurant going into anaphylactic shock as the waiter comes up with the check and you pointing down at him casually.
I semi get the web cam thing, although you do realize there's OTHER uses for web cams, right? =) not sure what they'd be doing with recordings of your voice though (unless it's related to the same thing as the web cam)... personally I just don't like the way my voice sounds recorded for low bandwidth.
Viva la différence. But why would I want to "see" you when I can "see" you if you ge tmy drift?
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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03-07-2009 03:46
From: Pie Serendipity And you are still single in rl? Gosh, that's astonishing . . .
Pie ("I bet we share many of them." Uh, that's a big *NO*) Don't worry Pie, you smoking habit would turn me off immediately. And get those teeth fixed! LOL!
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Pie Serendipity
Registered User
Join date: 9 Feb 2009
Posts: 217
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03-07-2009 05:52
From: Jig Chippewa Don't worry Pie, you smoking habit would turn me off immediately. And get those teeth fixed! LOL! Sorry to destroy your illusions yet again, but I have all my own white shiny straight teeth without any orthodontal work necessary. And all my hair, although I dye it silver now to give me unwarranted gravitas. And I have *never* smoked. Pie (I lied: I smoke during sex, out of my ears) |
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Void Singer
Int vSelf = Sing(void);
Join date: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 6,973
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03-07-2009 12:53
From: Jig Chippewa But why would I want to "see" you when I can "see" you if you ge tmy drift? perhaps to see a real smile on a friends face? avatar emotes only go so far. I'm not suggesting YOU should, only that people do have uses for it, and in and of itself it's not inherently dangerous (unless you are a recognizable person of note). saying it's dangerous for everyone just seems to be a bit to far.
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Rhaorth Antonelli
Registered User
Join date: 15 Apr 2006
Posts: 7,425
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03-07-2009 13:09
From: Void Singer saying it's dangerous for everyone just seems to be a bit to far. I so agree with this statement. just because someone doesn't like to do something, doesn't mean everyone else will dislike it, or should dislike it I thank god I have my webcam... it enables me to chat to my brothers, one whom I have not seen in over 12 years, so it was nice being able to hear him, and see him see webcams are not all about sex, nor are they all about SL The way some people talk it is as though SL invented webcams and voice LOL *shrug* I do not have a problem with folks who do not wish to use voice or cam, but please respect those that do want to use it and stop trying to tell us it is bad, evil, and to stop using it (and yes, I have had people tell me that, voice is bad, evil, stop using it, and omg never used a webcam, they are bad too) silly people
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From: someone Morpheus Linden: But then I change avs pretty often too, so often, I look nothing like my avatar. They are taking away the forums... it could be worse, they could be taking away the forums AND Second Life...
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Rudolph Ormsby
Registered User
Join date: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 142
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03-07-2009 13:19
From: Annousk Coba Im writing this under an alt account because i dont want the person who did this to me to be exposed.. Anywayi met a wonderful girl on sl and developed a preety amazing rship. We spent hours together and sl just became about me and her. Then she supposedly got really sick with depression.Before that we went the full hog, swapped home phone numbers, mobile numbers, chatted on skype ect. Even discussed meeting in rl so yes the relatonship extended way beyond sl. Then she disapeared for 9 days. I was worried about her bc she had depresson and didnt know if she had been hospitalized or commited suicide. So in my attempts to find out how she was i found out she was really a man and married to a woman.
I remember when speaking on the phone to her i thought her voice was slightly masculine.I almost thought she could possibly be male to female Transgender. I didnt bring it up with her bc i thought that is her business. If she wants to tell me then she can. But now i know the truth. It is extremely hurtful to be lied to. However it sounds crasy that i still love the person that she presented to me. Even though i know the truth.
Tbh i dont think he/she deliberately set out to hurt me and i realy beleive they did come down with depression, has always had a history of depression. But what i think happened is that he/she was caught out by the wife and had to stop coming on sl. When i spoke to her/he they were constantly crying ect. So i think there was smething genuine there but it still hurts lke hell.
I dont mind ppl on sl pretending to be something there not as long as they keep it SL. But when they know that nothing can ever really happen in RL they shouldnt start acting like a RL relationship can ever work. They shouldnt cross those boundaries. Thats what hurts the most. They crossed those boundaries. Since this has happened i havent been on sl much. It hurts too much bc of all the reminders of our rship. And i dont know if i could be hurt like that again. I really did love sl before all this happened.Its a great place to be creative and have fun and meet really interesting people. But i just coldnt go through that sort of pain again. Even now i find it hard to let go of this person. SL at one stage was all about them *sigh*
You will probably all make fun of me for falling for this person and i even hate myself for falling the way i did. But im only human and love blinds us. I'm sorry this happened to you, but trust me, it could have been much worse, even if he/she/it turned out to be a woman (maybe especially so). I'd suggest moving on and getting a crate of beer and a rental of "Crying Game" on DVD. |
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Rudolph Ormsby
Registered User
Join date: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 142
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03-07-2009 13:48
From: Brenda Connolly You have exchanged RL information, that could be turned against you by an unstable sort. Yup, been there. Exchanging RL cash is worse though, in my humble opinion. |
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Rudolph Ormsby
Registered User
Join date: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 142
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03-07-2009 13:50
From: Desmond Shang ... but here is the tough news: the person you thought you loved doesn't physically exist; they only exist in the sort of way that Captain Kirk or Sherlock Holmes exists. As a character made up by a storytelling individual. I think this is the most insightful observation I have ever read on these forums. Double plus good. |
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Kaos Jansma
Registered User
Join date: 2 Jul 2007
Posts: 120
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03-07-2009 14:15
in my situation i kept wanting just one authority type figure to confront the person and say simply "i know what you did and it was mean"
but even if that happened, the person would not have acknowledged it
and so you have to kind of settle things all by yourself which is hard - its hard do alone
and its like my mind knew
but my heart . . . .
it still can't believe what happened
it doesn't want to
its not ready
(runs to grab the box of kleenex)
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Kaos Jansma
Registered User
Join date: 2 Jul 2007
Posts: 120
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03-07-2009 14:16
whew!
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