Ask Jake Anything

Scattered Thunderstorms are more numerous than Isolated thunderstorms. In weather terms "scattered" means the Sky Cover is 3/8-4/8 ( Storm clouds cover that fraction of the sky). "Isolated" means that the Sky Cover is less than 2/8. Between 2/8 and 3/8 is a judgement call I guess.

Welcome Margaret and thank you for wondering. The short answer is: poorly.


Longer answer is: Play is conducted with nine balls numbered 1-9 on a regulation table. The balls are racked in order in triangular fashion. The object balls are sunk in any order, but the cue ball must touch the lowest numbered ball on the table first.

The object of the game is, of course, to sink the 9 ball.

If the cue ball fails to touch the lowest ball first, the player loses their turn and any illegally pocketed balls (except the 9 ball) are not respotted.

If a player fails to make contact with any object ball, or pockets the cue ball, then he has scratched, and it is the other players turn. the other player takes the cue ball in hand -meaning he gets to put the damned thing where ever he wants on the table.

this is a shortened version.. a better one is found here:

http://www.geocities.com/apbainc/rls_9bl.html

Jake -

In the fabled "Wood Chuck" scenario -

Asumming all the wood had similair properties, how much wood could the wood chuck chuck, roughly?

-since my question about wood chucks was taken =p , Ill need another question
----------------------------------------------------------
Jake,

What are all those answers that are blowing in the wind anyhow?



How many roads must a man walk down Before you call him a man?

Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail Before she sleeps in the sand?

Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly Before they're forever banned?

How many times must a man look up Before he can see the sky?

Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have Before he can hear people cry?

Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows That too many people have died?

How many years can a mountain exist Before it's washed to the sea?

Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist Before they're allowed to be free?

Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head, Pretending he just doesn't see?

I have to go play Lawyer for a while (since they pay me) Collette I will get to your question (s) in a few hours when I get back..everyone else feel free to leave questions and I'll respond to those as well.

Have fun.

Jake.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

There... someone has to do it... hehe

Dear Jake,

Why wasn't I born independantly wealthy?


Ingrid from Boardman

Dear Jake,

There is this boy who has a crush on me, but I think he is shy. So he shows his affection by relentlessly attacking my character and motives, casting aspersions, and accusing me of leading conspiratorial organizations and opressing the masses.

If he would be nice and just acted like himself then maybe I would like him. How do I tell him?

-Feted from Midnight City

Ok, how exactly did the radioactive spider bite make spidey spidey ? Why didn't the hyperactive isotopes injected with the spider venom cause his nutz to shrink to raisins and his hair fall out ?

Colette's question raises so many more.

Who Wrote The Book Of Love?
Who’ll Stop The Rain?
Do You Know The Way To San Jose?
Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
Why Do Fools Fall In Love?
Who Can It Be Now?
What’s Going On?
How Will I Know?
What Would You Say?
Where Have All The Flowers Gone?
What Have You Done For Me Lately?
Have You Never Been Mellow?
Don’t You Want Me?
What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?
Is There Something I Should Know?

…and perhaps most importantly,
Who Let The Dogs Out?

wow think we should slow down on questions - Jake has quite a backlog at the moment.

Colette Meiji asks:
Jake,

What are all those answers that are blowing in the wind anyhow?

The answers blowing in the wind are the answers left behind by those who have figured out the simple truth that any answer is wrong-it is the question that counts.

How many roads must a man walk down Before you call him a man?

We really its not how many roads that make a man, its how he walks them, and how he picks them.

Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail Before she sleeps in the sand?

The sea and the sand are one. If the dove lets go of the division between sea and sand she can sleep in no sea, and no sand and be enlightened.

Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly Before they're forever banned?

Well too much time is spent on banning the cannon balls rather than dealing with the question of why the cannon balls were resorted to in the first place. Violence is about people and not weapons.

How many times must a man look up Before he can see the sky?

The elightend man sees without looking.

Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have Before he can hear people cry?

The cry of people suffering is heard with the heart, not the ear.

Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows That too many people have died?

Death is a necessary transition between states of existence. Death and life are conditions of being not questions of existence. All this are one Born or dead.

How many years can a mountain exist Before it's washed to the sea?

Does the mountain shrink or the sea grow. Look into a drop from the sea, and see the whole mountain. The sea and mountain are one.

Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist Before they're allowed to be free?

To be enlightened is to be free. Let go the rail and fly. Freedom is a choice, it is neither given nor taken.

Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head, Pretending he just doesn't see?

Again we are back to the point that one can only see limits when the try to see with thier eyes. This song never made much sense to me. it complains about dealing with effects and never looks to the causes.

Jake,

Where do babies come from?

Buster

Because.

Because you were born exceedingly beautiful.

Why is it every time I go out for a smoke I have to piss... and conversly every time I piss I feel like having a smoke?

Well accept First that you are FIC and the Linden's golden girl. Your picture is everywhere.

Then accept that any attack on your character and motives are grossly unfounded.

Any oppression of the masses is not done by you, but may be done in you name, but who can control the fanatics.

Its ok to be cool and popular, especially when you are cool and deserve to be popular.

But in response to shy boy, I'd be direct. Tell him how you feel, and tell him he owes it to you and to himself, to get to know you before he insults you. If you think he has a crush on you, call him out, and ask him point blank.

If he denies it, then he is either too indifferent or too foolish to bother with. If he admits it then tell him to start treating you like he likes you. Life is to short to play games of the heart.

Because Peter Parker is really a mutant, and his mutant genes reacted to the radioactive spider bite and not his regular genes.

The stork brings them, of course.

Probably for the same reason that every time you have a shot, you want a beer and every time you have a beer you want a shot.

To want is to suffer, quit smoking and simply pee when you have to.

Or accept that god hates you, and you hate yourself, and no matter how much love you have it will either go up in smoke or you will piss it away, if you are not careful.

Or fuck it all and read this, take a piss and grab a smoke, and repeat the process if necessary.

Yeah and tell PRO.. ummm ... i agree with Jake's answer

Will you go out with me?

Since your advice is much more empathetic, humorous and reasonable than Dr. Laura's ...

Why is my center toe bigger than what everyone else calls their "big toe"? Do you think my ancestors were tree climbers???

Oh I have a good one...why do my blue eyes both have a brown streak. Does this mean I am crazy?...lol

Jake,

I am on a business trip for my company and I just found out that my boss forgot about it and send a request to Human Resources to dock me vacation time for my absence.

What is the best way to express my displeasure about this to my boss?

Thank you,
Alan Palmerstone