Ask Jake Anything

hehe.. these are fun! Thanks Jake!

Ok, my question:

Once I was standing around chatting with "friends". One of the women there was having issues with her teenage son. She was upset over his misbehavior at staying out late, staying on the phone past curfew, and sometimes staying away from home for days at a time. I sympathized with her and expressed my wishes things would get better. Then I let slip out a phrase that often enters my mind when I hear people talking about their children.. I blurted, "*sigh* I only wish I was going to have to deal with some of these issues when my daughter reaches teen years. Being as she is autistic, I may never get the chance to deal with a rebellious teen".

Well, the woman stated back to me "with all due respect, I don't think you can even begin to fathom what I'm going through and it is much worse than you will probably have to deal with".

I did not respond.

It hurt me what she said, but I also realized my statement could have hurt her as well. The topic never came up again, and we are still "friends". But I am loathe to ever talk about my child around her again.

Was my lack of response the correct way to handle the situation? Or should I have stated how it made me feel?

I see a place for this Jake at the Alogonquin.

Sorry to interrupt.

Please, carry on.

Pendari:
I think every parent is going to suffer worry, doubt and heartache as their child grows older. Its a part of the parenting process-watching your children grow, make mistakes, get hurt. Ultimately we hope the sorrow is much muhc less than the Joy. It is however sort of meaningless to compare your situation with hers, as each is unique.

It seems to me that your freinds was speaking in a moment of self pity, or at least self anguish. You were correct, I think, in offering silence. I think pointing out your own potential losses would have just cause more pain. Sometimes its best to let a freind have the spotlight in feeeling sorry for themselves.

I do think however, if you are freinds, then it is important to the freindshsip to be able to discuss anything. Thats what freinds do. If her freindship is one you truly value, you need to express to her your feelings. I wouldn't confront her directly (unless you know she will accept that) But I would tell her you feel sympathy for her plight with her children, and then tell her how you feel a bit lost because you worry every day about how much time you will have with your child, and she seems fortunate to be having those problems. I think the imporatant thing is not to make it "a your better off than me" sort of thing, but rather make it a "we can share this road as freinds" sort of thing.

I should have said, prince charming or significant other instead of husband. HUsband just fit the response more, please don't think there was any sexist intent there.

Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime, you come near?

Really what I was asking is "Why does it sound like funky soul?" As far as I know, that's the only recording I've ever come across of doves crying and I think it could be a hoax. If that's really what it sounds like when doves cry, I'm going to have to carry some live doves around in 6-ring plastic can holders.

Nolan:

because you want to be closer to me?

I can't claim this, but it was a perfect answer:

Why do birds suddenly appear?
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? It is because you are a statue, my dear. Birds, mostly of the pigeon-icarus variety, like suddenly appearing and putting the poop upon the statues. All you have to do is move a little and this will scare the birds away.


No, really why do birds suddenly appear?
Birds appear out of nowhere because you are in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. You are a hapless victim with a bull's-eye upon your scalp and angry birds want to hurt you. These birds want nothing better than to peck your eyes out and make small nests within your ears.


No, stop teasing, why do birds suddenly appear?
With the decline of the telecom industry the carrier pigeon is coming back into favor. Don't worry - he won't hurt you. He is only bringing you a message from a friend. "You've got mail."

check it here: http://www.why-is-the-sky-blue.tv/birds-appear.htm

Well who knows. If you sampled doves crying and laid down a funk soul beat after running the sample through a processor (like the ACID program) it might come out like funky soul. Or trance, or techno, or deep house..or whatever

But if it was trance, then it wouldn't be doves crying. Leopards maybe. Black leopards.

An interesting thought. I have not, come to think of it, hear any doves cry gestures in Clubs on the grid, but I have heard Roars.
Thanks for the question Chance.

It occurs to me that some of ou may have questions, but don't want your names attached. You can send me a question by PM if you want. I will preserve anonymity for all such questions. I do reserve the right to post an anonymous question with my answer.

Why was Kilroy here?

Why does O'Doyle rule?

Just admiring the wit, not condemning the sexism.

Q. What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

WEll the easiest answer is that Kilroy was here because O'Doyle told him to be. And O'doyle rules because Kilroy lets him.

A darker interpretation is that O'Doyle and Kilroy share a BDSM relationship in which O'Doyle is the dom and Kilroy the sub. They tried switching once, but each found the other role uncomfortable.

Kilroy however, developed serious commitment issues, and ran away from O'Doyle. However, without direction, Kilroy needed validation and so he left a trail of signs for O'Doyle to follow.

Of course we might be talking music, in which case I would have to conceded that O'Doyle sent Kilroy here so as to not get caught Flogging Molly.


And Finally, for anyone who ever wanted to know why Kilroy was here I found this:

This Legend of how "Kilroy was here" starts is with James J. Kilroy, a shipyard inspector during WWII. He chalked the words on bulkheads to show that he had been there and inspected the riveting in the newly constructed ship. To the troops in those ships, however, it was a complete mystery — all they knew for sure was that he had "been there first." As a joke, they began placing the graffiti wherever they (the US forces) landed or went, claiming it was already there when they arrived.

Kilroy became the US super-GI who always got there first — wherever GI's went. It became a challenge to place the logo in the most unlikely places. It was said to be atop Mt. Everest, the Statue of Liberty, the underside of the Arch de Triumphe, and scrawled in the dust on the moon. An outhouse was built for the exclusive use of Truman, Stalin, and Churchill who were there for the Potsdam conference. The first person to use it was Stalin. He emerged and asked his aide (in Russian), "Who is Kilroy?"

WWII UDT (Under Water Demolition - later Navy Seals) divers swam ashore on Japanese held islands in the Pacific to prepare the beaches for the coming landings by US troops. They were sure to be the first GIs there! On more than one occasion, they reported seeing "Kilroy was here" scrawled on make shift signs or as graffiti on enemy pillboxes. They, in turn, often left similar signs for the next incoming GIs.

The tradition continued in every US military theater of operations throughout and following WWII.

In 1946 the Transit Company of America held a contest offering a prize of a real trolley car to the person who could prove himself to be the "real" Kilroy. Almost forty men stepped forward to make that claim, but James Kilroy brought along officials from the shipyard and some of the riveters to help prove his authenticity. James Kilroy won the prize of the trolley car which he gave it to his nine children as a Christmas gift and set it up in their front yard for a playhouse.

As I said earlier: 42.


The trick with this is never getting the answer, its figuring out how to ask the question. The process is the result.

Oh, someone already thought of that one huh?

Yeah someone did. But many people are looking for that particular answer and if furthering thier understanding of the great 42 brings them happiness I encourage everyone to stope by your local house of worship and ponder the enternal mystery of 42. You have the answer, now relate it to the question.

That site is EXCELLENT.

Two questions:

Why can't the citizens of Metropolis see that Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent looks like Superman with glasses? Are they all that fucking stupid?

The weather report for tomorrow says "isolated thunderstorms"; for Wednesday it says "scattered thunderstorms". I've always wondered what the difference is.

Dear dr. Jake,

How do you play 9 ball?

just wondering from Michigan

Ooooo, I know the answer to that one!

According to a silver age Superman story, Clark's glasses are made from the shattered viewport of the rocket he was in when he crash-landed on Earth. They have the strange alien property of amplifying the image that Kal-El attempts to project, so Clark actually looks much frailer than Superman. The property is so powerful it actually carries over to photographs and videos.

That was pre-Crisis (Crisis on Infinite Earths, an event that totally mucked up DC continuity for decades to come).

Post-Crisis, one of Lex Luthor's employees pointed out that Kent was obviously Superman. Luthor fired the employee for being a moron. Why would anybody that powerful, reasoned Luthor, pose as a simple reporter?

So the real answer is that he's protected by the amazing power of the willing suspension of disbelief.

People see what they want to see. Superman's disguise relies on the fact that people don't want the bumbling Clark Kent to be Superman. In thier heads, while clark may look like superman with glasses, they probably figure he is a very good look alike (as in How many people look like Elvis). Now those close to Clark..like Lois, should have it all figured out. Mr. White cuts Clark slack (I mean Kent has to be a lousy reporter-he's in all the good stories) out of respect for superman, but White knows! Jimmy Olson is a bit of a goof. And Clark is well below everyone elses radar.