I can't make not even 50 lindens a day

All your real life are belong to us.

Somebody said there was a new bar around here? Next round is on me.

I just made ten bucks because I explained to Raynor why he couldn't sit on his poseball.

(It was...underwater....)

I only need to give four more pieces of advice today and will have made $50!

Look, matey, I know a dead thread ... er, parrot ... when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

AAAAaaahhhhhhh .... /me leans back and takes a deep swig of beer ...... raises glass to Isablan ...

Happy Friday, one and all!!

IT'S NOT DEAD! It's....pining for the prims!

lulz

Did I miss anything?

It's noon on Saturday in Australia. It's been a tough week. I thought, before I logged in to SL, I'd visit the Forums and see what's new. Thought I'd find some mindless entertainment perhaps. Maybe even a new building skill or two, yanno?!

OMG, I am rolling here. I've had to walk away from the computer, go to the bathroom, find a cloth to wipe the coffee spray off the monitor and desk, grab a tissue to mop the tears caused by crying and now my sides hurt!

Thank you one and all, it's a priceless thread.

I'd like to nominate it and the OP for the "Best Whining Post Causing Maximum Laughter and Delight" Award.

Oh and btw, I DON'T want his stuff when he leaves SL in disgust that he couldn't become an overnight millionaire!

Goddamn Figtree! You just made me wet myself again!

ew and colette's wearing your knickers, so what a mess

I have several pair, don't worry.

apparently your knickers..

Your panties spend so much time in these forums you're going to need to get them their own account soon.....

You people have made this Friday worth the effort for me. Thanks.

There actually are jobs like that in SL. I wandered into one place where instead of camping chairs, they had mops and scrub brushes. Grab one, start sweeping, start earning $L 12 per hour.

But here are a few more lucrative occupations, since our OP is looking for inspiration:
-DJ
-Live Musician
-Machinima (SL movie) creator
-SL photographer (Fashion, landscape, or journalist)
-Vehicle designer (this one takes a team, or a person who can both model and script)
-Weapons designer (ditto)
-Fashion designer (need Photoshop skillz)
-Landscaper/terraformer
-Animator (there are even sub-specialties such as dances, lifelike poses, and sex anims)
-Fashion reporter (and other types of journalism, but fashion seems to have the most publications)
-Banker (in some disrepute at the moment, given the situation with the WSE and Ginko, but that's just an indication that SL needs some HONEST bankers. Not that I'd be likely to invest my funds with a guy who can't make $L 50 a day).
-Club owner
-Amusement park creator/owner
-land speculator
-land developer (not quite the same thing)
-event planner
-sim designer (this one can be VERY lucrative, if you can land a corporate client or two. It's more comprehensive than just landscaping and terraforming, though. Often performed by a team of people.)
-architect
-yacht designer (IMO, there are all too few really quality yacht builds)
-scripter/programmer
-Instructor (if you have a skill, one way to make money is to teach it to others)
-Security guard

They try, but their PayPal account keeps getting refused. I don't trust them with a credit card.


/me just remembered ..Cherry is away, she is missing all this.

Just don't let punters slip dollar bills into your panties. This could be misconstrued as gambling and a Linden will remove them.

The panties?

No I didn't.

You putrid pile of parrott droppings.......

If you slip the Lab some of those dollar bills they'll let you choose which Linden removes them.

But does she get to choose WHICH Linden removes them? That is the real question

Alright, you asked for it...

The Dead Ginko Sketch

A customer enters Ginko headquarters.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The avatar does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Parrotcarrero: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Parrotcarrero: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about my balance what I checked not half an hour ago from this very bank.

Parrotcarrero: Oh yes, the, uh, the L$100,000 deposit...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'It's gone, that's what's wrong with it!

Parrotcarrero: No, no, 'it's uh,...it's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a zero balance when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Parrotcarrero: No no your money's not gone, it's it's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. My money. It's stone gone.

Parrotcarrero: Nononono, no, no! 'It's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if It's restin', I'll withdraw it (shouting at the ATM) 'Ello, Mister 100K Lindens! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...

(owner hits the ATM)

Parrotcarrero: There, you withdrew!

Mr. Praline: No, I didn't, that was you hitting the ATM!

Parrotcarrero: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Parrotcarrero: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the ATM repeatedly) 'ELLO LINDENS!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Picks up the ATM and thumps its on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call an empty account.

Parrotcarrero: No, no.....No, It's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Parrotcarrero: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was ready to transfer! New accounts stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That balance is definitely zero, and when I made that deposit not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of compound interest was due to you bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Parrotcarrero: Well, it's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did the balance fall to zero the moment I got home?

Parrotcarrero: Zero? Remarkable ATM, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining your balance sheet when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting with a positive balance in the first place was that you had written an IOU and it had been nailed in there.

(pause)

Parrotcarrero: Well, o'course it was nailed in there! If I hadn't nailed down the IOU, it would have nuzzled up to that ATM, bent it apart with its staple, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this account wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Parrotcarrero: No no! it's pining!

Mr. Praline: it's not pinin'! it's passed on! This balance is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, It rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the ATM it'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-BALANCE!!

(pause)

Parrotcarrero: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of lindens.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Parrotcarrero: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, can it buy an uncut Xcite with cock-ring?

Parrotcarrero: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Parrotcarrero: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Parrotcarrero: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my skybox?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

I answered this question seconds before you asked. These crazy threads move way too fast!

Anyone except Daniel. I'm sure he'd fuck that up too.....