Ejecting an intruder from my land

I'm still relatively new to SL, so I sometimes find myself in situations where I'm not altogether sure of the etiquette and standards of conduct for residents. Such a situation happened today, and I'm wondering if my reaction was appropriate.

I was minding my own busines, on MY land, in MY house, when a complete stranger walked through my front door, cheerily said "Hi!" and then stretched out on a pose pillow by my fireside.

As it happens, I'd been in the middle of editing my appearance, so I was taken completely by surprise. But as soon as I could unlock my avatar, I froze the guy, then ejected him from my land and added him to my ban list.

One BIG advantage to being a female in SL is that you have tools for self-defense that aren't so readily available in RL (that's why I have several big dogs in my RL house). In my book, a strange guy walking in on me while I'm undressed is NOT acceptable. I've had other AVs drop in on my property before, but they've all been polite enough to stay on the patio. Or they fly off the minute they realize I'm home. But the NERVE of this guy.

I don't have any regrets about bouncing him, but I do wonder where his actions register in the SL etiquette book.

It's your land. You, therefore, write the etiquette book, at least as pertains to your property.

Comments to the contrary (which may well follow) - even if full of sound and fury... signify nothing.

Your property, your sense of personal space - your prerogative.

Good luck!

It is indeed your perogative, however I have to wonder if the AV in question even knew that you did not want to be disturbed or walked in on.

I welcome any and all people to come into my home and look around, if I felt otherwise I would either have a locked door or some of those ugly ban lines wrapped around my abode. This way the person has fair warning that this place is off limits.

He may simply not have known what your wishes were.

I assume that if a place doesn't have some type of security system in place that I am free to take a peek around. But I will attempt to say hello first if I see a green dot that indicates someone is home.

Since you asked about where his actions register on the 'etiquette' meter....In my opinion he wasn't 'doing' anything wrong, since he had no way to discern your wishes beforehand.

You Land Your House Your Second Life,
the fact that he breezed in and made himself comfy was boot worthy, but that ban was a bit harsh, unless he does it again.

Her World Her House Her Land,

since when does one ask for permission of a total stranger to use ones own property? judging by his familiarity with the place im more than sure, he knew that she was the owner. so on the etiquette scale, boot worthy, the ban was a bit harsh unless he insists on makin himself at home.

Regan? get scripted Doors that lock, im me in world, my hubbeh has a few im sure he will give you no charge.

side note: the next time that happens hun tell yourself this: its not real, he cant do anythign to me that a sniple boot wont fix.

Wow. While it is certainly your prerogative, there are a lot of places that apparently let people wander through and look - I for one love to see others' beautiful creations or their taste in decoration. I like to keep the windows in my house open unless I'm changing clothes or something, but I have scripted doors that lock. Locked doors, ban lines, and security systems are the clearest indicator that visitors are unwelcome inside. Most of us won't go where it's obvious that we are unwelcome. It certainly helps to know in advance.

That said, yeah it was rude for him to just sit down without invitation. He should have waited on the patio or disappeared and IM'd if he wanted to have a conversation.

He was either clueless - in which case you helped him by filling the clue-meter, or totally brazen.

I usually cut a bit of slack for anyone newbish looking and explain this is private property - that they should ask before entering. You'd think its common courtesy but he might have thought that any structure he could enter was public just like any webpage without a password was public, too.

Nevertheless, its a different standard in SL and people need to get used to that fast!

If you need a lockable door, IM me in world - I'll give you the multiuser version I've modified and had posted to the scripting library these past few weeks. I'll even pop by and size/texture the door for you (or anyone who asks, I guess) as well, if I'm free at that moment.

There were no rules you broke. I always say that on my land I am The Goddess under Linden *winks*.

But there are indeed some things I would have done different.

When I don't want to get disturbed for a longer time, I lock the frontdoor. Rooms where I want nobody without my premission have always locked door. So yes, you may need lockable door as sugested before.

Now locked doors will not keep people 100% out, but the sign given is clear.... no enterance! Someone trepassing a locked door means for me one way ticket to the banlist.

I did ban a person this week from my land... first person entered my house with his "thing" sticking out of his pants. I asked him to change that. He ignored my request twice... so then it is banlist.

But I also found someone in my house this week. He was indeed new and complete confused. But he was a nice and friendly guy. We talked for almost 2 hours... about how SL works, why I am in SL and also about some RL matters. It was very enjoyable... for both side I think.

Morwen.

Now who in their right mind would walk into a strangers house, flop down and watch them get dressed. Common sense would tell you its unacceptable behaviour, and id never worry once about ejecting such a cad.

I don't argue that... but I think it was easily to be prevented. That is all.

Morwen.

I hand out a notecard to new Residents. It's a collection of things I wish I had known when I started. Not much, but I think it helps.

One of the things I wrote about is security, and that SL basically has none. We do have ban lists (though you have to know who you want to ban first), security systems (which you have to buy), and you can buy lockable doors (which are extremely easy to get around).

What do I tell new Residents on this?

That common curtosy is the best answer. If you just walk uninvited into someone's house, they may say hi and start a conversation. They may also just bounce you to the moon. Therefore, treat any house in SL as you would one in RL. Don't enter without permission (either written or texted).

In this case, walking in was rude, but could be overlooked as the door was not locked (at least I don't think so from the OP's post). However, to me, sitting on the poseball was very rude. Ejecting was probably one of the "nicest" things to do to him/her.

~Jessy

I think if its a house on the ground, sure you deserve your privacy ... but people are going to wander in from time to time exploring.. especially new people.

If you dont want to be disturbed, a good thing to do is go way in the sky several hundred meters up , then if someone pops in on you up there ... they are the ones with bad manners and deserve to get bounced immediatly because if your hiding in the sky its obvious you dont want to be bothered.

But totally its your land and you have every right to eject ppl out especially when they make themselves at home and just plop down on your furniture without even saying hello.

I appreciate every single comment made, since all points of view give me a sense of the range of opinions on this issue.

Priority One on my list is getting a lockable door!

When I first moved to Rumgally I tried putting up ban lines, but one f my neighbors gently objected saying it was unsightly and a little unfriendly by local standards. That made sense to me, so I dropped that security feature without too many qualms.

I set my tint windows to completely opaque when I'm throwing clothes on and off, but it never occurred to me to get a lockable door. My house is halfway up a mountainside and it's impossible to walk through the property. You have to fly and then deliberately land on my patio, which is the only flat space available. It just never occured to me that anyone would do that AND just walk in.

Now I know better. Can't say I would do it any differently this time around, but the change in door should obviate another event like this one.

Thanks everyone!

If I may suggest you a shop for lockable doors, then take a look at the shop of Lee Ludd. Doors with many good useable and nice features (specially his matted doors... you can hide the mats btw ^^).... in many and many designs and just 250 L$ per set.

I use his doors and I am very happy with those.

Morwen.

Even though this is a virtual world, the standards of behavior from the Real World are things we are all familar with and being known by all should still apply. You don't invade someones privacy, walking into thier home and sprawling out on the furniture uninvited. At the very least you knock or call out and ask to come in. Your response was appropriate. By the way there are attack dogs available in SL too, a fun way to discourage intruders.

When I lived in the city of Amsterdam, I was used to keep all doors of my house their locked, even when I was home... because you never knew what could happen.

Now I live on the country side. A small rebuild farm. A real farmes community. It is very common here to walk into each other house. Sure, some unwritten rules apply... but the community here is very open. So it may differ very from situation to situation what "invading someones privacy" is. So your so called "standards of behaviour" may not be so standard at all.

Attack dogs... real of virtual are always a bad option in my opinion.

Morwen.

That openness is only possible because in a small community everyone knows everyone else. I have license to crack open my RL neighbor's front door and yell in because they have a house full of kids running in and out and we all know and trust each other.

If I lived in a small SL community where everyone knew each other, then your comparison might apply as well. But I don't. I've spoken to two of my neighbors -- when I first moved in -- and that's been it. We all keep to ourselves, which is just fine.

But it also means that there is NO tradition of simply walking into each other's house.

The attack dogs has a certain entertainment appeal, but no, I'm not going there. I'll settle for a locked door and maybe an AV detector so I have time to throw some clothes on before having to interact with a stranger on my property.

Now, if I could only figure out how the dang door script works. It seems my pre-fab house has a lockable door, but it didn't come with any instructions so I'm having trouble figuring out just which variables need to be filled in...

"Standards of behavior" are set by what the vast majority of people find acceptable, for example the thousands of people in Amsterdam, not the handful of people who live in hte farming community. And I bet if asked you would find that few of the people in the farming community really appreciate your walking in unannounced or uninvited.

That is not correct. Not long ago the new blacksmith for my horses needed to come (the old had to stop his job because problems with his back). He has never been at our house and I just spoke him on the phone. I was not suprised or worried he walked into the second kitchen , raising his voice with a clear "VOLK???" (Dutch way to say "Any one home?"

Apart from that, a farmer and/or open community does not mean right away a small community.


You may look at the shop I mentioned earlier. His doors are very good.

Morwen.

Clearly you have no idea what you talk about when you call the local farmer community here a "handful of people".

Morwen.

At our home, the doors are non-lockable. We have no ban lines up. The windows are usually opaqued, but we also spend a lot of time out in the yard. It's a nice sim, not purely residential, but with a long history of it. Casinos and such have long gotten a very cold shoulder within the sim - though the neighboring sims have a couple rather big nightspots. We have met a lot of the neighbors, or at least stayed pretty friendly with them over time.

We do occasionally get random strangers wandering through. Most of us do talk to those who come through before we eject (each of us has eject/ban powers) and oftentimes it is just a newbie who has wandered far enough afield to head out our way.

But if they are rude, like the griefers who thought they'd be cute by caging (with the ones that toss you in the air) us on our land, or the guy who thought that seducing my mommy would involve jumping up onto her bed and making suggestive statements to her. They did not need to have anyting explained to them, and we're quickly shown the virtual boot.

To answer the original question? Ya, what you did was fine under TOS an stuff. Your land, your rules is pretty much what I got out of another thread recently. Etiquette-wise, well, you probably could have told them that they were intruding before drop-kicking him - but he'd already breached etiquette by coming in and plopping down with no invite. That is rude no matter if you are a city dwellers or country.

Mari

Well, as I mentioned before, this wasn't the first person to wander onto my property, although it takes a fair amount of effort to "wander" up a sheer mountainside. Nonetheless, I've walked out of my house and started polite conversation with one or two AVs that landed on my patio.

But those people stayed out of my house, and at the very least I would have expected an "excuse me, may I come in?" when they opened the door and found a naked lady editing her appearance.

Nothing I've heard on this thread has changed my opinion of this AVs behavior -- it was rude and intrusive.

I have a Small home in Bragg where i Live with my wife, and my Girls. For some reason, it seems a Bit of a Crossroads because we frequently get people both Flying, and Teleporting in. I, and my Family have no problem what-ever exchanging pleasantries with these unexpected Visitors. Many of them Are new persons just exploring, and we will answer a Few of thier questions, accept thier compliments on our home, and Part Amicably.

If I, and my Family are having a Little private time, we Tell them so, and suggest they Visit another time. Same if we are having a Private discussion, but on the whole we do so Politely. The only time we Boot, and Ban is when the person is Rude, or will not speak to us, but just keeps Hovering about, does not move on when we make it clear we wish to be alone Etc. But we Give them always the opportunity to leave under thier own power.

That is Our way of Dealing.

What you did, I Support 100%. It's YOUR land, and If that persons behaviour is Unacceptable to you, then you need not keep them about, Nor do you need to feel like you did something wrong by enforcing your Privacy. My way is different from yours slightly, but then, when we are Talking aboout MY land, it's what I want that Matters. Such is also the case with Your Land. However it is in Amsterdam, or Rural Holland, or Central Manhattan, or South Central L.A. or Podunk Iowa Makes absolutely NO difference in SL. We are In SL, the Land is yours, and it's Your way, or the Highway.

Angel.

*nods*

It is in my experience that most visitors understand when they are not welcome at the current moment (for whatever reasons). When you tell that to them in a friendly way and gives some explation, they mostly leave.

And if they are rude or misbehaving, there is not wrong with banning this person.

But lets not pretend that it are only the "visitors" that get rude and insulting. Some landowners can as well. Some days ago I was looking for some new well designed area's to take pictures (and I always ask premission before I really go and make pictures). I was standing at the edge of a piece of land. Only standing there, doing nothing then looking at the surrounding area. I was IMed what the <bliep> I was doing there... how I dared even to stand there.... and so on (and I am using kind words now). I sugested this person to build a sky high concrete wall around his property and left.

Anyway, basically all people are welcome on my land and in my house... as long they are polite and listen to the rules that go on my land (... locked doors are no interance... no weapons unless allowed by me... no rude language and so on and on).
I mean, one of the reasons I am in SL is to meet people and communicate with them. Turning my land in to some kind of inaccessible battle station won't help with that.

Morwen.