Partner? Or no Partner

Would be good mentor training.

Wow! Congratulations to you both!

I got partnered to Cereal Milk back when you still had to email Robin. I still have the email I sent her:

Cereal Milk needs his green card and we were wondering if you could alter our profiles to list each other, before he gets deported to There, which would make me sad. Thank you!

Belaya
XOXOXOXO

I don't think Cereal knows I only was his partner for the sake of a single, poor joke. Don't tell him. Shhh.

As I am not the type who can compartmentalize, either, I did not log on to SL the first time with any intention of finding a partner, or falling in love. I came to play, and because friends of mine from There said that SL had much more to offer creative types - so it sounded fun.

I guess, though, that sometimes the funny thing about love is that it finds you when you are not looking for it at all.

Yes, I am partnered in SL - actually, as of yesterday we made it "official" in each other's profiles. He's the most wonderful guy. Much distance (and by much I mean we are on different continents!) seperates us in RL, and I have had many ask how I expect it to work, and some outright say that it never will.

I suspect though, that we will prove them all wrong.

And to my partner, specifically: /5ihvj

Oh, beautiful, Nikki. Well I hope love continues to bloom for you and your Partner: the way you worded this, I can very much agree with. Compartmentalization of a narrowminded type is not something I can relate at all too.

When I've deliberately looked for things in my life, it's fallen apart, so I've just weaved as naturally (as I can) through the winding roads of life.

Love... so mysterious, yet so wonderful.

i don't have a partner. my rl hubby is on sl as well...but we are not partners. we do that in rl so why do it here. sl is for trying different things & as we are totally secure in our rl relationship & know where & what the limits are....there are no problems. i would like to have a partner though i think....one person to hang out & do things with.

seems everytime i go to clubs these days everyone is all partnered off & cliquey. i really feel like a 3rd wheel sometime. i do believe that i may be destined to wander sl alone for the rest of my days.

now i'm not whining, don't get me wrong......i love sl & am desperately trying to learn how to be creative......but a special friend would be nice!!!

I took the time and read each and every post in this thread before deciding to post myself. I found this topic to be very interesting and relivant to my own personal situation. There are so many wonderful opinions here and I value each one of them and now it is time for me to post my own.
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We are in a VIRTUAL WORLD, our real lives are no ones business but our own. If we choose to disclose our real life situations to people then we need to expect comments and opinions and be ready to deal with them.
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I don't know about the rest of you for sure but in MY real life, I take showers, I pee, I do dishes and laundry, I walk dogs and cook, I clean and do all sorts of real life activities that I don't do in SL.
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In my Second Life, I go to clubs and dance every day, I play bingo or tringo, I spend obscene amounts of money on clothes (well thats kinda rl too but not as bad as SL), I go to the horseraces, and again, all sorts of other activities that I don't do IRL.
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What I do in my RL is none of your concern unless I make it your concern and the same goes for SL.
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My point here is this...Who are we to judge? How people choose to play ANY virtual world is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS! A hypothetical scenario would be - If 'Jane Doe' is married in RL for 10 years and has 6 kids but plays SL and is partnered with 'John Doe' who isn't her RL partner...WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE HER or even speak an opinion against her?
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And my relivance to this post is...I am proudly and lovingly partnered with Marc Skye in Second Life and as for you needing to know any more about our relationship, whether we are RL or not or whether we are married IRL or not and anything we do or say is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! (I say that in the sweetest manner as to not offend)
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Being partnered in SL is a wonderful thing, it is a priviledge we should be greatful for. Just as in a real world, and as someone mentioned above, there are real people behind these avatars with REAL feelings and we need to let each individual you meet express those feelings how they deem right.
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Oh, and 1 final thought - I am impressed to see the intellectual people of SL using big words such as 'compartmentalization' to try to decypher and make sense what a virtual word really means in a real world and how they are supposed to seperate the two. Look it up in the dictionary...
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Main Entry: com·part·men·tal·iza·tion
Function: noun
1: isolation or splitting off of part of the personality or mind with lack of communication and consistency between the parts
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1: a mild state of dissociation 2: the act of distributing things into classes or categories of the same type
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You live and function in a real world - ALL VIRTUAL WORLDS ARE GAMES, FANTASY and PRETEND - How you choose to live in that virtual world is your sole decision and shouldn't really harbor a need for 'compartmentalization'. You are a living, breathing, feeling being in REAL LIFE, in a Second Life or any other virtual world, you can be whomever and whatever you choose. You are responsible for your own actions and destiny. Take control and stop making excuses.
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Ok, I am done testifying. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my words here. *casually steps off of her soapbox and quietly exits*

-Femme-

*sends up a 'Witness Sister !!!' from the back pew*
/applaud

I concur totally! I always lived my "life" in SL as being totally separate. I also said that partnering in SL was for the birds. lol

But my opinions are now changing. I wonder "is there really a separation?" A new relationship is forming that are different from the others. Its odd. And so I go back and forth about is this just SL or not, and what does in mean for SL and RL and about this or that....and so on. Im not good with words so Ill stop here. I think my point is made.

Ok, I am happily married in RL.
I am also a PG avatar, oh well.
I see all these couple in SL and I want to be part of one also

I ask myself why? Well here is my answer....I want to share my SL adventures with someone and feel loved and wanted in SL, just like RL. Simply stated.

My RL husband is not into the game and never will be. So why not have an SL relationship? It's not RL it's all about role play and I do now the difference.

So if you are single in SL and looking let me know. hehe

After reading your post in its entirety I am completely blown away.

In one sense there is a separation. In SL you're free to live a fantasy. In the real world you are not (lest the men in white coats show up). Some things, however, do spill over. Feelings and emotions in SL are no less real than they are in normal day-to-day life. I've come to the conclusion that a complete separation is not as easy (for most) as some may suggest.

As far as having a partner, I've personally accepted the fact that I am too old to seriously entertain the idea. Most "old folks", in either world, are unlikely to find love or romance lurking around the corner, no matter how many corners they turn.

On the upside, not having a partner can be a liberating experience. There are positive benfits to being completely independent and exploring SL on your own.

Ok, ok.... I'll post in this... prolly should not, but here goes.

I met my wife in an old text mud. I say old, but it's still around. So I'm pretty well versed in how all the emotional buildup happens. Done things I probably should not have, but looking back on it, it was kind of funny. In games, you can really kill people when they piss you off, so that helps a lot. lol

Anyways, in secondlife, I kind of consider myself a ladies man. This drives my wife absolutely crazy. She says 'how can you say it's just a game? That's how we fell in love!' To which I have no response of course. If I say anything in my defense I am in the position of cheapening my RL relationship.

This puts me in a difficult position. My rl wife is the most important thing in the world to me, but my second life is pretty good too! I've been more successful here than in real life because I haven't had to show through paperwork what I am capable of. I can just do it. And if people like it, then I am rewarded.

And who doesn't want to be admired by the opposite sex? I like to be charming and it is important to me that people like me. So I play up my strengths to the girls because it is fun. I also state way ahead of time that there are to be no emotional investments made though, because I AM married in first life, and I do love my wife more than anything.

Do I have a partner in SL? Hell no! I don't want that kind of attachment here... I just want to have fun. But this isn't real life... and I don't treat it as such. But one must still remember that there are real people in involved, inside of SL and out.

Interesting Topic...

I haven't ever been in a real online relationship... I have had close friendships and even attractions but then again who hasn't?

Oddly enough I was married once online, mostly for political reasons. The charming emperor of Alphaville in TSO needed a charming bride/empress/side-kick so I married a friend. It was also handy to keep bored housewives from falling in love with me, I could always just say "I really should introduce you to my wife..." Some of them seemed to be into that though. But being married (to a woman) caused to much confusion as to why I like shoes, madonna, and brad pitt...

But I think Olympia said it best :


I'd hate to get attached to someone in SL, then meet them in RL and find them sporting a swastiska and an elctronic tracking braclet padlocked to thier ankle.

With my luck they would have a mullet too. Sometimes god doesnt even know what that cute guy at the club is *really* like.

And I'm not coordinated enough to balance a RL and SL relationship. I would get confused and call out the wrong names during sex.

Barnes, you 'ho.

Actually thats the problem, I cant be a 'ho because I would get confused. I will have have to stick to having monogamous RL relationships. *sigh* Or I could just not get their name.

not remembering their name is almost as bad :/. I'm bad with names.

(In a very quiet whisper) Garth and Pituca. Garth and Pituca.

Heh heh. Me too. 14 years for us...



We have an excellent solution. My AV doesn't have relationships, I just don't feel the need. His, on the other hand, has dabbled in the sex ball scene. I just sit next to him, giving suggestions and making sarcastic comments. It usually ends with both of us ROTFL in real life at the seriousness at which the other party is taking the "event". Often he'll ask me if he should take someone up on their offer of a good time and I'll egg him on, and he'll end up declining.

I say, if you can't encourage your spouse in the thrusting of a neon green dildo through the spine of an overly skinny female AV, then you're missing a vital part of marriage!

I am getting ready to soon make available many books, ok as Eep calls them, notecards, dealing with first life, secondlife, relationships, and how they effect our heart, soul, and mind. I have been writing now just over a year now, about this, and anyone that knows me, and have read my stories, all real life from the heart writes, can tell you that in some way they are conceived as "self help", or oh I have been there before, or you wrote about what I had been feeling. My relations inside of a virtual world, span not only here, but as well into my first life. I have many facets of myself, some of which directly relate to how I act and feel in first life, and some how I act and feel in secondlife, or what ever life a virtual world provides for us. I do think, however, one has the capacity to love, only one, or many, same gender, or bi, and still lead a life that is comfy for them. My own experiences, both with guys, and girls, has been most satisfying to me, both in a mind, and soul way, but as well inside my heart. As a married person in real life, my spouse does know some of what goes on in sl, but not all of it. I do know that they would not like some of the things I might participate in, IE, group sexual activities, or lesbian activities, but the virtual world that this is, does allow one, to do many things, that are quite simply outside the normal, or , what would I say, obtainable desires that the first life can offer. It is the giving of oneself, both, emotionally, and inside your heart, that makes relationships so special here. The compartment , keep it separate, thing, really is a cool concept, in a way. But over the time I have been in a virtual, these feelings, desires, hopes, and intimate relations that one may have with other persons, can, and are quite often, some of the most enjoyable times of our life on this earth, and memories like that are so special, I would not trade them for anything. I do hope you have enjoyed this from my heart, and mind, and soul write. I am not a very active person in the forums, but please, if you would like to read some of my writes, they will be available soon. Many are based exactly upon the oh so special moments of being with one or many, in a virtial life, and others are just moments in time captured for all time and scribed for sharing. But never the less, the thread I belive is a very valuable one, and a very serious one indeed. There is much drama, many heartaches, and many love stories to be shared here by many thousands of people. All you have to do is not be afraid, of what people might think, and let your true self be seen to others. That in itself is the path to real happiness here. Being yourself with people, and sharing time, energy, and loving moments who ever you are with, and when the next time your with that special person here in second life, tell them that you love them. Valentines day is close at hand, and being open and honest with the people you interact with is and can be one of the most rewarding things that any of can do.

Love, Megz Xevious SL Megan Ann RL

I laughed so hard I snorted soda

Not in a million years, no offense to anyone else.

hehe Exactly Lisse, I guess Garth and I turned the right corner didn't we?

Wow, can't believe I'm just now noticing this thread LOL. Most people that knew me back in beta remember that Devyn Grimm and I were attached at the hip lol. He and I never really got into a "romantic" relationship much outside of SL. After a time we just found that our differences didn't make for success but we have remained great friends . After that I was single for a long time and I wasn't looking either.

Funny thing is I ended up meeting someone who was already "kind of" attached in game at the time to a friend of mine lol. We spent alot of time together and it just flowed from there. Water Rogers and I just fit and I don't think there has ever been a time when I didn't feel like I'd known him my entire life. We can be complete goof asses with each other and accept each other imperfections and all. We've been together for about 14 months now. We got married in SL in March of last year and I think most people have seen our wedding video (made by our friend Nephilaine <3) at some point lol.

We don't really get into the whole *sex ball scene* lol. I must admit I love the cuddles in SL though and it's really nice to have those now. It's very difficult for me to imagine SL or RL without him in it. We've had alot of ups and downs and it's been hard but I would go back and do it all again. If you're able to have a really close, loving relationship in SL and it not spill over into RL then more power to you. I honestly don't see how someone can do it and I'm not trying to judge here. *I* could never have a relationship in SL with someone if I was married because the possibility of it causing problems would be there for me.

I know our declaring a partner was actually supposed to have other benefits that haven't been introduced yet and I'm not sure if they will. It was quite awhile ago when they mentioned it.

I love Water and to those of you wanting a partner all I can suggest is enjoy each day as it comes. When you least expect it..that person will come along and you'll know .