How much do you trust online?

That's not really a problem for guys. My penis wouldn't let me forget it even if I wanted to. It's like having a needy, unruly kid with ADD attached to your pelvis.

Coincidentally, I have that motivational slogan on the wall of my office.

I am pretty much the same me in sl as in rl.I still believe in treating as you would like to be treated and I am sometimes astonished by some of the things and said done by people. I ddoubt seriously the liklihood of saying some things I have heard to anyone I know in real life...or even dislike.
I think maybe its due to the anonymity of things in sl where you can be anyone or anything any number of times. Sometimes I have to shake my head and wonder but at other times I am blown away by the sheer kindness of people. That being said, I was born and raised in a big city and I am careful of my surrounding in rl as in sl. I use a firewall, a good virus scanner and I signed up for second life using my yahoo addy...but I think I find that generally speaking when using the internet one should be careful.
However I remain me..and I am proud of that. I still beleive in the basic goodness of people and I am not sure I ever want to stop doing that.

I've been at this (playing online games and involved with online communities) for 10 years or so myself. I can honestly say I haven't had someone surprise me in a pretty long time now. I can usually get a pretty good intial read of someone within a few lines of chat, along with a few other signals and I can tell if its someone I'm going to like hanging around with or not.

Thats not to say I'd instantly be best friends.. but I can see thier the type I can at least get along with.

Then I build from there.. I don't assume very quickly if someone is Male or female, or anything else about them. The last time someone I was sure was a Female turned out to be really male (and was just a good friend of mine, thankfully ) was in 1999. I've gotten pretty good at figuring out who is a Shim and who isn't. (shim = she him)

I dont' instantly give any measure of trust to someone tho without good reason. I have about 6 online friends I trust completely and would do absolutely anything for. The rest of my friends vary from very close to casual aquantaince with amounts of trust allocated accordingly.

It really is amazing tho what you can pick up on when you've been at this for so long and are usually a people person or someone thats attuned to people and thier emotions.

Anyone else just have a very close friend say(type), Hi there. And you already knew something was wrong? Heheh..

I've seen it.

Aimee, get out of my head!

I find the problem with trust comes down to competence.

Some people I trust more simply because they are more competent and predictable, not because they are of high moral standing.

I have friends who no doubt would go to the wall for me, but there is a lot I wouldn't trust them with.

It's a tough thing to understand, but after being in business for a few years a reality you have to come to grips with.

Yay for Pol!!!

If Christiano wins for 'Most Random Post,"

Chip wins for "Best Use of Simile"

I am laughing so hard, I have tears running down my face.

I only trust Euterpe and her alts.

I'm confused.
Are you saying all the boys are girls or all the girls are boys?

Or both?

Edit: wait, just got it..
If you are a girl you would not need the reminder
nevermind.

<sobs> I so trusted you! Look what you have done. <sniffle><whimper>

(Aimee, may I borrow your notebook?)

Note to self: *Never* out your alts to panda.

But you can still alt your outs to me!

Really? You mean it? <sniffle>

<blows nose on the sleeve of panda's shirt>

This brings to mind somethign Margaret Mfume said to me recently that I had not thought of before...

If you post to the forums, you are kind of laid out for all to see.
It is relatively easy to go back over someones posts and see just how predictable or consistent they are. People who are making up huge webs of lies or are not acting like their true selves would likely show up as such.

---
To add my point of view on the trust thing also, my policy is to be excedingly nice to all, but then to observe folks with great care. The ones that take advantage usually surface in a very short time.

I find that if you are mean or "closed" to new people, even the nice ones can react poorly at times, but if you are open and nice to all comers (even that big idiot with the push gun), peoples true colours show up almost immediately.

To be trite, nice folks are nice back, and the others all take some kind of advantage, usually right away. Very easy to spot the loons and goons that way.

If they pass the test, then I tend to trust them after that.

In SL this has only failed me once so far.
.

I was confused by this as well. I'm trying to decide if Aimee is one of those girls who wouldn't let me play dolls with them back in elementary because I had an "outie".

EW... I was wearing a tank top.

I think it is prudent more online than anywhere else to follow the old "trust is earned, not given". The problem is that online, anyone can really be anyone they want, and perhaps it is a little cynical to suspect everyone from the start, but online you really need to look out for yourself first and foremost.
I think that in communities that surround things online, such as games or SL or IRC channels or forums, some people are more willing to trust fellow residents because of a perceived connection to them, but anyone who has spent a long amount of time in online communities comes to realize there are factions within them and it is foolish to trust someone just because they happen to like playing online ping-pong with you.

Yay, now if Torrid pops in and types in a sexy voice so she can win for "Best use of British Accent" and Mistress wears something black and revealing, thus winning the "Black is the new black award", this thread will be a Midnight clean sweep Well, except for Daysleeper Midnight, who has been disappointing at keeping up their end of the Midnight Mafia content baron cabal of doom.

This is pretty much the same approach I take towards others online Dianne. I've always been a very trusting person, and I've always been super open about myself (sometimes to the point of my friends saying TMI!!! ) hehe.. I cannot help but be myself, and I my first reaction to others is that they are being themselves as well.

Im horribly trusting, and it usually ends badly for me.

Damn hippy parents making me all nice and stuff.

HA! In case others didn't get my joke:





It was a joke about men pretending to be women in SL, and keeping a notebook to remind them what to say when asked about their genitalia. That's the kind of post you get out of me when I haven't had my first diet coke in the morning.

1. "That's not really a problem for guys. My penis wouldn't let me forget it even if I wanted to. It's like having a needy, unruly kid with ADD attached to your pelvis."

This has got to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. If I were a guy, I’d put it in my signature!!!

2. “That being said, I was born and raised in a big city and I am careful of my surrounding in rl as in sl. I use a firewall, a good virus scanner and I signed up for second life using my yahoo addy...but I think I find that generally speaking when using the internet one should be careful.

"However I remain me..and I am proud of that. I still beleive in the basic goodness of people and I am not sure I ever want to stop doing that”

What Nemi said applies to me.

3. All this is NOT talking about people role-playing, of course. And as Cindy said, once romance enters the picture, the entire equation changes.

4. I, too, have online friends I just adore. Usually they are people who started off kind of quirky (I like people who have strong enough personalities shine through even online), and continued being nice and good-hearted over time. These people are every bit as much "real" and "valued" and trusted as my real-life friends, whether or not we have ever actually met.

I like most everybody, and keep trying to like the ones I don't, lol. And like someone (Diane, I think) said, I, too, find that a bunch of the ones with the push-guns or the ghastly gigantic build are quite nice! In that case, you are better off to now have the nice new friend, even if they come with the propensity towards push-guns or gastly gigantic builds, lol. Even the ones who are troubled, I am willing to be friends with their good side, for those who have and show one, and when it's their bad side they are showing me, I just tell them to get lost.

I've been at this for about ten years, in addition to judging people on the phone and online for a living, and have met about 60 online friends irl. This makes me pretty good, at judging people, but definitely not among the best when it comes to online environments. I have been "fooled" a number of times, but that doesn't bother me. (Although I guess if I were in a romantic relationship, it would.)

coco

Cindy, very interesting question that needs to be pondered a bit more deeply since the issue of trust is highly complex and goes beyond simply predators and people with personality disorders. Let's for the sake of my arguments exlude these extremes and think of the average people.

Here is the problem. The moment you step into a virtual world like SL, you are creating an alternative persona in a parallel universe. You are imagining how it would be if you looked like your avatar, if you dressed like he or she. Inevitably this spills over to your thoughts and actions. It is conceivable that all of us at some point imagine if we interacted socially or performed certain things the way we really don't in real life. Why? because in a way SL is a simulation of life and your avatar starts to take a "life" of its own.

Yes some go too far in "reprogramming" their online persona, I suspect mostly unintentionally without considering the consequences. Perhaps they like to role play or perhaps just to imagine. The same goes true for a person who trusts someone's real self that they meet online by idolizing them, giving them their real life names, addresses and other information that could be used against them. In a way people who trust a stranger in an online world in such a matter are also in their mind simulating how it would be to meet a Prince charming or their ideal perfect friend? It is what I will call a mirror lie or self deception.

To summarize, trust online is a very complex issue because of the few things I outlined. I have set a very simple rule for myself, never ever give identifying real life information to anyone you meet online. This provides a parallel universe of existence between your real self and your avatar in SL. They both are more or less the same person of course, but the events that happen in SL or the social interactions does not necessarily follow the same rules in RL. Also they don't have to.

To answer your question, I fully trust Cindy Claveau in SL. That is, things she tells me in the context of this online world, I believe are true. However, nobody can possibly know if this a complete reflection of her real self in real life. Therefore it is a futile attempt for my real self and your real self to establish an absolute real world trust. That can only happen if they get to know each other in "that universe" not in SL.

sorry for the long answer

I thought that's what you meant. It's a hell of a lot funnier (and truer) the other way around though. I keep having to remind myself that I DON'T have a vagina. Although the damn thing does keep forcing the issue like Chip described.