The Forums And Ll

Ah the difference is, you don't upset me ever Alby - and I imagine I will outlast you, et alts. It was nice when you were silent for awhile, the inane post ratio was quite nice.

If you followed your own advice, I'd never hear a peep out of you. I'm praying for that day to come true..

Alexa,

Thank you for appreciating the situation that Catherine has been facing in second life for as long as I can remember. I am absolutely disgusted by those forum posters who attack her every post, snapping at her heels like rabid dogs. Some of those unpleasant and cowardly individuals should reflect on how they would react had they had to face the sustained attacks that have been directed at Catherine. Most of them weren't even in second life when the attacks began. I sincerely hope they will not be here much longer.

Cristiano,

Your advice to Catherine is quite valid, and I hope she takes notice of it. However, I think you should also offer some advice to those who seem to think it amusing or ego-inflating to make insensitive and spiteful remarks whenever she posts anything. It seems to me that those who allow themselves to be swept along by the witch-hunt betray the lack in themselves of something valuable which lifts most of us above the level of baying animals.

I couldn't have said it better myself. To those who know her, Catherine is one of the nicest people one could hope to meet.

hehehehehe... I Knew you couldn't resist responding.. Hehehe
But as for outlasting me.. Naw.. I'll be here until the bitter end or Hillary Clinton is elected President. If that day happens, I'll remove myself from planet earth. lol

The reason I did not offer anything to those taunting Catherine for sport is their posts speak for themselves. Do I understand how frustrating Catherine can sometimes be? Yes, I have gone many rounds with her at times over topics, and she does reach a point where logic seems to fly out the window. It used to anger and frustrate me, until I got to know the person underneath it. Is she a quirky, emotionally charged person? Yes. She can be wildly unpredictable sometimes - which comes more from emotional stress than any true spite.

I am not going to begin to psychoanalyze her, as many people try to, or push her buttons until she blows. That is just cruel, and painful to watch. I am sure there are people who get off on watching Catherine come undone and say she is leaving, and love to taunt her with "I thought you left". I am not one of those people - because I know underneath she is in pain, and there is no joy in that - certainly nothing funny or clever in attacking her, even if she brings some of the negative attention on herself.

If someone else feels the need to attack her or revel in her off balanced nature, then no advice I can give is going to help that. I would prefer to keep Catherine from giving people ammo in the first place to shoot her with, and to encourage her to stay as far away from the forums as she can, since they always seem to lead her astray into hostile territory.

Lets change the forum heading from general to invalidation.

An invalidator actually feels inferior so she/he tries to make others feel small in an attempt to elevate themselves. One invalidator tactic we see in the forums is an acknowledgement of something another builds, states or does, followed by a negative attack or comment made in the spirit of "just being honest." An invalidator will pick out qualities about you, or opinions, that are most important, and then tear them apart.

The difference between constructive criticism and an atttack by an invalidator is that in one situation you are told something negative then the commentator will back off to give you space to consider it. An invalidator will lay out as many faults as can be found and persist until you feel small and defeated. The invalidator makes you smaller so he/she can feel larger.

Can you spot invalidators here? They are the first to dish out the personal put down or attack out of left field. They dish out the personal insult no matter what the topic. I can spot several invalidators who thrive here on the forums. Can you spot them too?

*looks in mirror*

Yup.

*continues posting anyway*

LF

Why is it that certain members who have been here longer can pick and choose whom they want to defend or not in here ? When a newer player tries to bring light on hipocrisy and previous attacks by someone else, in hopes of them seeing their err, they are dismissed as wicked and hateful. Why is that ? Invalidator, hmmmm I like the term and may be with L.F. on this one. This is silly.

Thank you to those that do seem to know me Sio, Selador, and Cristiano. You got me pretty good with those posts kinda scary realy. I don't want what happened to me to ever happen to anyone. I am sorry for my knee jerk reactions and for lashing back at anyone in the forums. I know I did because I was hurt or angry.I shouldn't have.

My post was not to hear glowing things about myself it was to let LL know that the behavior of some in this forum is seen by many as a warning not to post at all.

Cristiano, if I were to never post again, then I would never be taunted or abused again. I would love nothing more. But o I post again. It can be weeks it can be months yet no matter how my opinions of SL change, the mentality of some never changes in the forums.

Why is it allowed for a group of ppl to continue this behavior. I would like to see change in the forums I would like to see adults start acting like adults. I would like to see LL say its not ok for someone to call me a "cold hearted bitch" and take some real action for ppl who make posts like that.

Yes I can run, yes I can hide...Yet I am left wondering who will take my place, and why is LL allowing it.

Its the Old Guard trying to hold onto power... Don't worry, the New Guard out numbers them and we are only getting stronger...

LF is not hateful and wicked for his fights with Catherine. They have a long and complicated history. LF is clearly articulate, strong willed and not particularly driven by emotion or hysteria. It is difficult to watch Catherine implode, and I do admit I wish LF would not take part in that, though I do understand his reasons. It is more the bandwagon mentality of those who know nothing about Catherine, and just jump in for sport.

The funny thing is Alby, you et alts are the only one who considers yourself the new guard. Everyone else just laughs.

I understand this and have seen some of it although I never met Catherine in world I have seen some evidence of her pleasant personality. Some, mind you. It hurts me to see her repeat the same things in the forum over and over. Just in my longevity here, only 7 months, she has done it at least 3 times. Some of the older players jump right up to her defense when she is clearly the instigator in most cases. It boggles my mind. I would prefer to not get into issues as these if I could avoid it, but I abhor hypocrisy. You got on me once Cris when I came to your defense in the racial slurring issue. That boggled me too. The post she made in that thread was extremely inappropriate and in y ou rode with your shining armour which forced me to retract my statements. I just don't understand.

Did he puke again ? I should unmute him.

HEhehehe.. I don't know where you get this idea that I have multiple alts.. Believe me, I have only myself. I know its painful to realize that unlike the other gimps who need an alt for their multiple personalities. I funnel all my happiness, joy, anger, love, etc through just the 1 being in the world able to do it. Me.


'

I have never denied Catherine starts a lot of this stuff - but it takes two people to go along with it and add fuel to the fire of it. Do I feel protective of Catherine in some ways? Yeah, because it is very obvious how much this stuff ends up hurting her, even when it is her own mess. If it were you, I would do the same thing. You and I can hold our own in what can be some pretty heated threads in these forums.

Catherine for reasons that are not always clear tends to lose her way in these forums, and yeah, I feel sad about that. I learned that lesson with someone else who was similar in some ways to Catherine, the much maligned Candie Apple. Like Catherine, she could often create a firestorm of her own doing, and bring down a world of hurt upon herself. When I got to know the person behind the avatar and the posts and understand where that comes from, instead of feeding into it out of frustration, I wanted to help to protect it from happening, even when she could be her own worst enemy. Sometimes part of caring about other people is protecting them from themselves, and I do care about Catherine.

I honestly only vaguely remember what happened in the racism thread, I seem to remember it being a misunderstanding that I was trying to keep from escalating. You don't have to like Catherine, or even like how she acts, but you also don't need to contribute to what is obviously already a bad situation. Sometimes it is better to say nothing at all than to get in some witty, stinging retort.

Newp, just claiming not to have alts.

Because he's the great Cristiano and he always knows best.

Especially when I ask him when he's behind the counter what Starbucks blend is best. Make my frappacino, renassaince man!!

Fair enough, in respect of your knowledge and friendship with her, I will refrain hereon out from volleying. I'll just chuckle to myself.

Ooh you got me there, what a stunning dig, I am wounded. Nothing like a misspelled insult to really seal the effect.

Lecktor, we are all human. And everyone has their *very* close friends, or partner, or just someone they care about so super much that no matter what wrong that friend/etc does, they will not step in against them. They may try to offer advice to that person that will help them ride out the situation, but they will scold others before they *ever* scold that person who is so dear to them. Hell, I'm guilty of that too even with a couple of people. To me it is just human nature. And sometimes people just really care about someone and they want to try and defend them, but try hard not to put the blame on anyone alone (Cristiano is very good at doing this about Catherine).

Catherine and I went down a rough road once, and I gave her hell. I also later came back and apologized, as did she, and while I would not call us "friends", I think we both like and understand each other. I do know that Catherine is quick to anger when she gets picked at. She is a *very* sensitive person. Does that make her attacks and anger to other ok? No, but at least I've learned that in my mind (meaning my opinion only as of course I am no mind reader) that it seems to be more out of a percieved need of defensiveness for herself than most anything. And of course there *are* those that really are mean and spiteful to her, and deserve to be whacked down.

I try *very* hard not to get in the middle of Catherine's threads when she is issuing a strong belief of hers. I may ask for clarification on something, like I did earlier in this thread, but that is about the extent. I don't avoid her threads because I dislike her, I just avoid them because I always end up with tons of friends on both sides of the issue, and some smack in the middle. And I honestly never end up knowing how the hell to respond. No matter what I say, someone is going to feel slighted. So I just let those threads slide by me. It is just how I've learned to deal with it.

PS: Catherine, sorry for speaking of you in the 3rd person in this post even though you are there. It just made it easier to do so for my response to Lecktor. *hugs*

HEhehehahahahaahah.... Thats Golden.. I know Cristiano has steam coming outta his ears now.. lol

Thanks Pen.

I am always impressed when you do that, Alby. Your ability to swap between accounts and post in support of your own self has always been a fascinating character study. It is almost touching.