Why is beating children legal?

I'm here late, but my reaction exactly..

No, I think the following about "says it all"...

so called "adults"

mindless

bullies and the brainless and the mentally exhausted

seek help asap

A person who's fallen this low

you need help

simplistic

lazy

talking Chimpanzees


Tell me, do your kids appreciate that sanctimony? When you treat people around you as you've done in this thread, you've not a leg to stand on as far as giving advice about how to treat other human beings.

And on your earlier comment about "well-adjusted kids" - I am sure that those parents of the screaming a fighting kids at the burger place think their kids are well-adjusted, and that is precisely the problem in many households, sometimes parents blind themselves because they are their kids.

I won't use ignore, I'd rather see your posts so I can learn something about mental abuse.

Oh! I see you've edited your post to make it more personal. What a model of restraint you are.

All good similies where required and I stand by them. If you can't handle that Nolan it's you're problem I don't feel the need to be polite in a discussion with people who beat their kids or believe it's ok to do so. I'm not a polite person you can't handle that ... tough, block your ears. Or why don't you come over and hit me ?

Thank you. Since you have just openly said this is not a debate, and just a chance for you to abuse people you don't agree with, I consider this case closed and done.

Move along folks. Nothing to read here.

I've already said where I stand on this twice now. If you think this is abuse, think again next time before you hit your child.

..
edit.
this topic has me far too emotional, not saying anything else.
I apologise for upsetting people with my views, but they remain my view. If you hit a child you need help.

This is actually an interesting topic.

As a child I was sexually abused by a male cousin, and from about 10-15 i was repeatedly spanked and otherwise corporeally punished by my sister's husband while they were acting as my legal guardians.

Both were traumatic in their own special way.

I can't really say the effectiveness or lack thereof on spanking, though.. Because it didn't really work for me. I had trouble remembering the consequence. what it really did was give me a(n) (un)healthy fear of my brother-in-law. But that was my situation.

The problem with arguements like these is that you can't discate a single policy for all parents and children. As we've seen here, spanking works for some people. For others, alternative means are preferable. But there's no point in getting defensive and insulting an arguementive about it. Whatever a particular person does, they'll do. Words on a screen won't convince them otherwise in either direction.

That said, I still think comparing sexual abuse of children and spanking is inaccurate and, in fact, demeaning to the horror of sexual abuse as a child. Believe me. Getting spanked pales against being forced to suck your cousin's dick.

This looks like there are some that love to spank each other in a forum thread to.-)))))

/Tina - never spanked or anything else IRL by parents. or grandparents.. or family members..

while I totally agree with this part...This is way over the top and in fact, a lot of nonsense if you ask me.
The end result of no spanking is the end of civilisation?

The reason kids are totally nuts today is that the idea of discipline has basically gone out the window and responsibility has somehow become a dirty word. This has pretty much nothing to do with physically beating your kids. It has to do with the au courrant idea that kids are not responsible for their actions and should be just left to do whatever they feel like until they magically somehow "learn" responsibility by natural consequence.

As far as I am aware, studies usually show that the occaisional (once or twice in their entire childhood), swat on the bum can be a good thing in an extreme situation where nothing else has worked, (but you actually have to try everything else first), to show them "who's in charge."

Spanking as it is actually practiced by most families however is both unnecessary and cruel. IMO if you have had to spank your kid more than a couple of times (ever), then you have already lost it and are in some kind of sick negative reward cycle. Your really just "getting off" on your anger, and the kid is relishing the negative attention and enjoying the power they have to get you mad.

The majority of the time spanking is really just anger related child beating that has no effect on discipline, the rest of the time is some weird psychological punishment (as decribed by a couple of folks here).

Garnering your child's respect and obedience at an early age is what works, but that is way out of fashion nowdays.

Do you have children? Does not sound like it. I have 2, and we do use spankings or the threat of to stop bad behavior. And it works.

Briana Dawson

I totally agree with Foolish and Mulch. My mom spanked me when I was a kid and it kept me from doing really dumb things later in life. You're much less likely to steal lie, or make a complete jackass of yourself in public if you know there is more consequence than a "stern talking to". I was pretty much completely well behaved by 7 or so and the spankings stopped I didn't need them. I ocassionally spank my 6 year old when he does something that could hurt himself or another person, or is just generally misbehaving, but I'm pretty sure I haven't even had to think about swatting his behind in 6 months or so, he's well behaved and polite, and nothing like the horrible little brats who don't get spanked. I see pretty much every time I go to the grocery store or somewhere a child who is just being a holy terror, and their parent does nothing more to stop them than "Oh don't do that" not even firmly. The child continues to whine about whatever it is they want until the parent gets tired of listening to them and gives in. How is this raising a child? No wonder there are so many bad teenagers running around with guns and drugs and such, they get taught that they can do whatever they want and get minor consequences. I'm sure I'm going to get called barbaric or worse for this, but no way is a swat on the behind going to cause anyone to grow up a mal adjusted deviant. I worry more about the kids who don't get disciplined. (oh and a "time out" just gives kids more time to plot new mischief)

I'm gonna chime in here... spanking, as I was growing up, was about the ONLY method my mother used - and let me tell, you SHE felt better after she spanked one of her kids . She is the perfect example of someone who had no idea how to discipline kids other than "might makes right" - oh yeah, and a dose or two of verbal abuse goes a long way too. I will tell you this, I was terrified of her for the longest time. I'd hide behind my dad or run to him if she was "whacking" at me. I only recall him spanking me one time when I was three. There were two other occurrences, but I only remember that one. He told me to come out from behind the couch or I'd get a spanking.. I didn't come out.

I have spanked one of my children a couple of times, but was so overcome by guilt about it, I really don't know how my mother could have "felt better" after spanking one of us. I was also told, as we got off the train, how well-behaved my kids are, especially for their ages. I'm just glad we had a sleeper car (they had a food fight when I got up to use the facilities lol) and no one got to witness them being naughty

Discipline does not mean spanking. My kids do not get spankings as a general rule. But if they are acting up someplace, you better believe we will leave. Just the threat of leaving a place where they are having fun.. works almost every time. They know why we will be leaving, and generally, they will stop acting up. I tell you, it's no fun dragging two screaming kids out of McDonald's playland, but if they are going to act poorly, they might as well do it at home.

I think it's ridiculous to say that spanking either always works or never does. I personally was never spanked, and I was a very well-behaved child. Moreover, I had much closer relationships with my parents than any of my peers - they respected me and I respected them.

So that worked for me. Now, do I imagine that would work for everyone? Of course not. We're all different. Some people probably need a little spanking to be disciplined, and for some people that might well be not only ineffective but actually could mentally scar them for life. People are mentally scarred for life by the darndest things.

No discipline is just as bad as too much. It's the responsibility of parents to find that perfect balancing act for their children in each situation. Moderation is the key to a lot of life, and that certainly includes raising children.

Of course, moderation is in the eye of the beholder.

I think you did a damn good job.

coco

*substitutes "mom", nods in agreement*

Wow, what a thread.

I'm only going to contribute another 'Susie, you just compared spanking to child sexual abuse. What are you smoking, and where can I get some?' comment.

Then I'm going to back carefully away.

Ok let me point out something recent:

I went into work the other night (won't say where, but I work as a night stocker). Kids had gotten a few bags of glass marbles form the toy department and were throwing and rolling them to ACTIVELY TRY to to TRIP people pulling pallets of freight ot jam the pallet jacks' wheels which would leave a quite expensive to fix gash in the floor tile.

One of the parents saw this, took hsi son (14 years or so I'd say) and started spanking him in public..him and his friends got the point. A woman who was shopping actually stopped and yelled at him telling him how he was being abusive...

I suppose she would have wanted to pay for the unloaders medical bills when the salt pallet weighing in at over a ton rolled over his tripped body in the floor? I suppose his death costs too? And reperations to the family? Or maybe just the cost to replace that section of flooring?

There was NOTHING wrong with the spanking that child got, and I'm sure he got worse when he got home.

don't you know magnum?

he shoots shit out of his ass and calls it gold all the time, and if you tell him it is shit he reports you

I think they have a special Linden to deal with his ARs going by the name of

Idontgiveashit Linden

Oh, me and Magnum are quite familiar with each other.

Or, at least, I'm familiar with him... I'm not sure how reciprocal it is....

I used to BE Idontgivashit Linden, but I got sick of not giving a shit

I couldn't have said it better myself. I still don't know why some parents insist that inflicting physical violence upon their children is their god given right and why they think it makes their children better behaved.

I still stand by my original post as I have not seen one iota of evidence here or anywhere else that supports the notion that hitting children is good for them.

Yes I did. Both are traumatic to the child but one is legal and the other one isn't. That is my question. Why?

Please do not personally attack me in the forums. I happen to work in this field in my first life and I do indeed know what I am talking about.

In that case, can you point any of us to any psychological or behavioral studies to back your original assertion that parents spanking a child is "far more traumatic" than molestation?? I am guessing I'm not the only one who finds that more than a little hard to believe...

I was always a quiet person by nature, even in my youth. I was definitely spanked a few times, but I barely remember it. Can't see how anyone would be traumatized by a slap on the ass. Heck, I slap people's asses all the time - it's fun.
Humans are animals. There's only two ways you can establish a hierarchy in the animal kingdom - violence and sex.