Divorce Attorney Needed

My lap is getting cold.

Thanks for the advice Har. Takahiro's misery is starting to work out quite well for me.

(P.S. Graphicguru - I think he's serious about the divorce, but not so serious about this post. I'm pretty sure it's ok to goof around in here and it won't hurt the OP's feelings)

Hi, Trout. I make a wicked cocktail AND I can help keep your lap warm.

*gets out shaker and ice cubes*

LOL these posts make me giggle because Im a secretary/PA type person in RL lol.

And who was it said Trout can't get a woman... I see half a dozen fawning themselves on you Trout! (you rascal you!)


Takahiro all I can say is good luck... no one else seems to want to encourage you much.

i've been hired to represent the OP. what Trout doesn't realize is that Lexxi and Jez are my spies, and they've been sent in to pilfer sensitive information and sidetrack the elusive (and fishy) lawyer so that he may be sabotaged justly, and properly. he's up against a cold and heartless woman. i don't think he knows what's about to run over him. sssshhh don't anyone tell.

if i can get his bacon collection, i can sell it and buy myself a private island.

I'm sorry, Trout. I can't type very fast, I don't file, and I'm highly unorganized. Even if I unbuttoned my blouse, you probably couldn't see much anyway. I can pour you a drink, but I'll probably end up drinking it myself. I actually did that not once, twice, but three times at a company dinner. I kept drinking from my boss' wine glass. I was mortified! He thought it charming the 1st two times, but in the end, I'm sure he was wondering why the hell he chose to sit beside me. I think I would have been less embarrassed if I had farted.

Um, ya, so can I get a job too?

encouragement i don't need. this will happen. i just don't want to be taken to the cleaners. tho there aren't any assets to get from me.

thank god for no-transfer inventory. whew.

Me too! (RL legal secretary)

Thats what I want to do - legal secretary. atm i am just a general do everything person. But customers get told I am his secretary/PA lol

Leave me alone for a sec. I'm busy with Lucrezia and my double agents...I mean...your spies. Right...

This is family law, there is no secret information. Everything is public and on display for everyone else to see like a big ol' train wreck.

I never know what's about to hit me. That's why I always wear a hockey helmet.

since when did this become a help wanted ad for trout???

Trout has mastered the Billary Clinton style of subverting discussion to more salacious topics.

/me raises hand in air and waves it

Hey, Trout
I used to be a paralegal. Went to school for it and everything. Even have family law experience, although more in criminal law. Oh, and it's PA law, but it can't be that different, right? I can do briefs, motions, and wear short tight skirts. I think my qualifications are just what you need!

/me smiles hopefully.....

I really need a second income!

maybe i should post this in "products wanted". is a divorce attorney a product?

I wish it were a skill I could translate to some worthwhile use in RL. Or even a non-worthwhile use. So far it's done nothing for me except get me slapped and drinks thrown in my face.

Speaking of people who seem to drink a lot, Isabeau, please contact my assistant Lexxi to set up an appointment for an interview.

Sunni - you are almost a shoe in. Wear the short skirt and we'll see if we can find a spot for you.

To all the RL legal secretaries posting in here or lurking and reading this, I know first hand how hard you work - I have one of you working for me and I would perish without her. I am not kidding. She takes a day off and I'm lost. It's a massive job and attorneys are a PITA to work for. I have nothing but complete respect for you, and please don't take these posts for anything other than me goofing around.

It's actually a service. Or at least, I would think it is. Good luck, Takahiro, hope you find what you're looking for and get what you need.

Yes, they can be a PITA! One I worked or got drunk all the time and I had to lie to the clients about why he didn't always return their messages. Not a happy place for me to be.
Of course, now I'm in sales, which isn't much happier at the moment.

Short skirt on it's way, Trout. Even though it's a PITA, I miss it!

You might be missing it even more after the interview.


ahhhh....another thread completely derailed. I can put another hash mark on the nose of the biplane.

OK, back on topic. Takahiro: I think you're looking for someone to serve papers, make a bit of noise, play along with the RP or what have you - I would actually do it for the sheer fun of it, as long as nobody is getting legitimately hurt, but my $#$@^(** computer is stuck in California somewhere being built. I keep thinking of all the twin 6600GT SLi wonder and crunchy quad-core goodness, but all I can really focus on is the pain of SL withdrawal. Make it like dealing with a real life attorney. Give me the case and I'll sit on it for two weeks and refuse to return your calls.

Kidding. ok, not really. Anyway, I think this is a service wanted thing. There are a bunch of people here on the forums that are accomplished writers and might play along for fun.

Good luck!

I've acted as a Magistrate, for several Gorean Sims, so I'm no stranger to application of law.
If you and your soon-to-be Ex come to any sort of impass, i would be happy to offer my services to resolve the dispute, On the understanding that BOTH parties consider the Decisions made as Binding (No pun Intended).

Angel.

/me walks in the office reception area blowing on her nails
"oh sorry I am late, broke a nail last night and had to get it fixed"
/me notices the pen on the floor, picks up the pen and says, "ohh Mont Blanc, nice Mr. Recreant, very nice"
Is this your office? I am ready for some dictation now. Wait, erm I mean my interview.
/me leads Trout to his office by his Jerry Garcia tie
/me slowly unbuttons her white blouse exposing.......
/me kicks the door shut with her foot

Wouldn't any legal proceeding take at least two weeks of paper-passing before a hearing? This is a *divorce* we're talking about here, not licensing a poodle. (Psst, Trout, repeat after me: "billable hours." In the meantime, the forums seem the perfect place for exchanging legal documents between our Trout and the sleazy lawyer of that two-timing bacon-hoarder.

(Now... how to keep the thread open for two weeks while Trout adjusts^H prepares his briefs? We could hide it over in Feature Requests--nobody ever looks there.)

i don't think so Qie. this appears to be more of a britney spears court of law. time is not an issue, but fanfare might well be.

Hmm, I'd just like to say unequibibly that the party in question has never been in my Fortress of doom... Ooops, Oh fortress of BDSM, hmm that would be my alts place

THINK OF THE CHILDREN! Or at least the Prim Goldfish

i just received this message this morning ...

"You and your Second Life Partner have parted ways. Wesley Spengler has
decided to end the partnership. Best Regards, Your Friends at Linden Lab"

best regards ????