Divorce Attorney Needed

does anyone know the name of a good divorce attorney in sl?

i'm about to un-partner and need the services of one.

it seems to me to be a more dramatic way to do this rather than a simple radio button click.

I'll do it. I'm not a divorce attorney in SL, or RL for that matter, but what they hey. Want me to send a demand letter to your soon to be ex-partner demanding half their stuff and 3/4 of their income for the rest of their natural life? Sue them in RL for absconding with your island and the nubile 18 year old babysitter? Hire spies to see if I can catch them sneaking off to the Fortress of BDSM with an escort?

My fees are 300 Billion Lindens. Family law sounds like no fun at all. I charge extra for it.

lmao

I don't know of any divorce lawyers in SL, but I have a few dragon friends who can escort you through the house to pick up your stuff. Nothing beats brute strength when it comes to grabbing goodies.

A

Hopefully your soon to be ex partner doesn't read the forums.

Or he/she might have taken off with all your stuff already.

Pffft, you're not looking at it the right way! Imagine all the bizarre demands you can make, supposedly on behalf of your client!

Now this promises to be a good thread!

too late he/she just hired me.

You are hereby instructed to relinquish all control of your virtual possessions and pay my client the sum of 50,000L per week in ongoing spousal support. Any failure to do so on your part will result in immediate caging, orbiting and litigation designed to foreclose any opportunity you might ever have to do anything meaningful in either First or Second Life. Restraining orders have been entered prohibiting you from entering into or remaining on any sim housed on the same server as any sim might client might consider using. Additionally, you are hereby ordered to cease and desist all comments, thoughts, communications, or other hallmarks of sentience which indicate that you have any happiness, joy or hope in your life. You may, of course, continue to experience misery, hatred and grief without incurring any liability to my client.

Sincerely, The Honorable and Sufficiently Intoxicated Trout Recreant, esq. (foreclosures, evictions and collections while you wait! Ask about our weekly specials)

Trout,
Do you need a secretary? I am good at filing papers, making copies, and dictation.

DAMMIT ... *tries to log into sl and de-rezz my stuff*

edit> and it's a he ...

I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should have taken the $25L route and cut your losses early...

If it's any consolation, I'm starting a very reputable marriage counseling service... specializing in restoring impossible situations.

What are my fees? OH! You don’t want to know that...trust me.

Maybe. Loosen your blouse a little and have a seat here on my desk. Let's talk. When you said "dictation" what exactly did you mean?

support? SUPPORT?

HE's the one with the job ... and the mall ... jeez.

counseling we don't need. well, *I* don't need it.

this is our second partnership about to end ... i feel like liz and dick.

What are you crazy? Keep him around and spend his lindens. Get a cabana boy on the side.

LOL
OJ and keyboards don't mix

i AM the cabana boy ... er... neko.

Sorry Takahiro, I think we all owe you an apology; you are serious while everyone else is insensitive to your pain. Not really sure how any of us can help...but the divorce procedures in SL are as follows:

*Revoke 'edit my objects'
*Get your stuff while you can
*pay $25L to LL to revoke partnership
*Mute the X if he gets abusive
*Find another sugar daddy
*AR the X's ass if he insists on being abusive
*Surround yourself with supportive friends; do not withdraw into a quiet corner somewhere.
*remember, it's not the end of the world, recovery and healing will eventually take place

Come on folks help me out here...I only have so much advice...

I see.

In that case, my previous offer of settlement remains intact with the exception that the amount of support just doubled. It is extremely expensive to maintain a mall, and the one income he will be left with, regardless of whether there was ever a second income involved is insufficient to support him in the lifestyle which you led him to believe he would be able to lead on an ongoing basis. Additionally, you will be required to volunteer to help at the mall performing menial tasks like carting heavy boxes around, changing lightbulbs and scrubbing toilets. The importance of these tasks in improving the overall mental state of my client cannot be ignored and your failure to do so will, no doubt, result in severe mental anguish and emotional distress, which, as you know under the Revised Code Of SL is an actionable offense. See RCSL 23.34.102(a)(1)(ii).

Please immediately remit all funds coming due for the next three years to The Law Offices of Trout Recreant, esq, and report to the mall for volunteer intake no later than today, five minutes from when you actually read this.

Thank you for your courtesies. I remain,

Yours Truly,

El Mondo Shpoomissimo Trout Argyle Recreant Sr, esq.

(ps - this week only, banana peel related slip and fall cases 2 for the price of 1.5)

i see i just should have used SEARCH in game for "divorce attorney" ... *snif*

You need two secretaries Mr. Trout, Jr.?

Granted I just sit there looking pretty wearing skimpy clothing and bending over alot to get that file in that drawer in the filing cabinet next to your desk. So . . well she seems to fill some of the things I don't do. I just don't make copies, or take notes as you talk, or write stuff or . . wow, that's a handsome tie Mr. Trout, Jr., can I losen it for you sir?

Oh please, Taco Bell. What're you gonna sue him for? His bacon collection?

I thought you were still mad at me, so I was going to hire a temp...Not that Jez is a temp...or...ummm...

(Think fast, Trout, THINK!!)

GOOD NEWS! We've picked up so much more business that we're expanding our staff and hiring new secretaries! Lexxi's duties will remain unchanged and are as she described them. Jez's duties are to be determined, based on her performance in the interview. I have very high hopes for her, though. Other staff will be hired on an as needed basis.

Oh dear. I seem to have dropped my pen...and this tie is awfully tight.

Take your time hiring, Trout. A quick search finds nearly 200 avatars in SL named Ulla, and The Producers' run is over.