Drama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear, I thought that was fake drama at the beginning of this thread.



I like to start convos in elevators too!

While I like to think that I'm pretty much the same in the forums as I am in-world, I think it is much easier to misconstrue someone's actions in the forums vs dealing with them in-world "avatar to avatar". It's time consuming to keep up with all the baggage between members and one snarky comment or poorly worded post can result in a distorted picture of someone's "true" personality. Then again, sometimes people are assholes wherever you may meet them.

I sort of expected it to be honest. Maybe not so quickly though lol.

so did I


I just had to look

oh to answer the question, am I different on forums as compared to in world... no
still me either place

I did not.

Ciera has entered other threads in the past with her one post insults and gone away. I called her on it.

When you are so busy being crappy all the time to people it is hard to tell when the crap you are slinging is meant to be a joke.

pssssst.....Joshooah.....yooo hooo....

next time try this as your Thread Title:

I think I'm pretty much the same inworld and on the forums. I neither post nor talk much. Inworld I can have a good, relaxing time puttering around my land or touring the roads and speaking to nobody.

but then no one would click it!

I do enjoy a rousing debate. But I am amazed that the act of turning on a computer reduces some folks into passive aggressive pre-teens. I picture some million dollar a year executive in front of a laptop typing "I know you are but what am I?" (credit to Pee Wee Herman).

Pile-ons, trolling, flaming, derails and pity parties. All apart of the under belly of a good forum conversation. Some feel that these elements are to be used to reach some sort of end-game scenario. I do not believe there is anyway to convince these folks to play nice. These forums are closing due to some of those reasons. So out into the cold, under-moderated net we must soon venture.

ah, I see....taking lessons from another thread starter.

I dare you to run both titles at the same time, and see what you end up with. Phrase it about the same, without all the talk about drama. I'm sure no one will mind, as an experiment.

It is something ABOUT blogs and fora, I think: it's not as though these are characteristics peculiar to RA. In fact, I think it's better here than elsewhere; one doesn't get as much of the . . .


Well. Except when I talk that way for fun.

Same in world, in forums and in real life.

Like to help people.

Like to have fun and joke.

Get in a bad mood sometimes and become bitchy.

Get bitched at and immediately phase over into super bitch mode.

Want more drama? Or...no drama? I got both covered...

For myself, I always make an effort to be measured and thoughtful, though I don't always succeed at it when dealing with those very select few individuals with the ability to rub me raw. I think dealing with someone AV to AV has both plus and minus sides to it. One plus might be that the somewhat detached anonymity of it all makes it easier to NOT let someones tripe push you into hostile territory, so the pressure's off in a way. The flip side of that is the said anonymity also makes it easier to lose perspective and cross lines that should not be crossed. In the same way the pressure is off for those who wish to avoid such things, so it is also off for those who want to perpetuate such things.

I don't think AV to AV makes things more thoughtful or respectful at all, actually I think it makes things worse than face-to-face, but probably on par with the rest of the interwebz. A possible side-effect of that though might be that it helps people to ignore the crap sooner, and helps those not intending to be offensive to consider their words a bit more carefully. So possibly it ends up making things a bit better because of the *reactions* to it making things worse first, but I dont think it directly makes solving conflict any better or easier at all.

I'm autistic, so I'm not very articulate. People tend to take advantage of me. People tend to talk over me. People tend to treat me like a doormat. Nobody ever remembers me, and even when standing right in front of me they try their best to look through me at something else.

I have a policy that if something is important to me I won't discuss it IRL because I won't do my own cause any good being a spokesperson for it.

I'm a lot better in writing because there's no turn-taking or inflection or charisma to get in the way, so in writing I'm a lot more forceful. Some might say abrasive. Part of that is I just refuse to be dishonest. If I don't respect you you'll know it. Even if you're someone important I'm supposed to bow down before. I tend to piss off cliques because I don't respect their "right" not to be critiqued in front of their friends.

So yeah, my forum behavior is not at all like my RL behavior. In-world? It allows a lot more reflection and is less immediate than real-time conversation, but still more immediate than the forum, so I can be more effective in-world than IRL but still less so than in the forum.

On the other hand, being behind a keyboard allows me to be more helpful than people will allow me to be IRL. It also might allow me to achieve more because I don't have to rely on people with more charisma allowing me to do things that might put success in my path.

Of the many fetishes I've traveled to, I've never seen you. My loss, I guess.

I like you a lot on the forums and think I would feel the same if I met you in real life.

I thought it was fake, too, like umm a joke??? It's not? Uuhhggg

I probably wasn't that clear in my OP, but when I was talking about dealing with conflict avatar to avatar, it was in comparison to dealing with it in a venue like the forums, rather than comparing it to rl.

This. (And this is not about Briana).

But when the 'conversation' reached this low point - is it still worth it? Off topic, mean, juvenile. Inviting a pile-on and not worthy of any adult posting in a public forum.

For some reason, when you are face to face with another avatar, it takes away a level of anonymity and usually results in people being more civil and less rude to each other than we are in IM or on the forums. Even without the facial expressions, just having an avatar standing there makes the conversation seem more "real".

That's a really interesting point as I've read that there is a fairly large community of persons with autism spectrum disorders such as Asperger syndrome in second life. My understanding was that the lack of visual cues in SL such as body language and other non-verbal cues, in fact make it easier for someone like yourself to socialize with others due to SL's lack of emotional subtleties, that might be more difficult to interpret than in real life. Would that be fairly accurate to say?

I have two children who are autistic and you sound a lot like my 14 year old son(with the writing as opposed to speaking in RL). Anyway,you just gave me a lot to think about so thought I would comment. I do find myself sometimes not listening to my son like I should. He is not very articulate and can go on and on about something. I will keep your post in mind when speaking to him in the future and listen better.

As for the OP-I am the same everywhere.

Yep I totally agree.

I don't see "Drama" as just a broad label for conflict or not getting along. "Drama," to me, has an element of narcissim. A person creates drama as a means of calling attention to oneself, as in the child who misbehaves to get Mom's attention. People who create drama either don't know positive means of social interaction, or believe that those positive means are ineffective and creating the "Drama" is the only means of getting someone's attention. Negative attention is still attention; when others react to the drama, that prove to the one creating the drama that he indeed has some influence and control over his surroundings.

Conflict, in and of itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Not every relationship is a perfect one. Human beings have emotions; it is human to be sad, angry, or hurt. One doesn't just turn off those emotions, and often one needs to express them to move past them. Yelling or crying among friends now is less expensive than therapy, and is certainly better than going on a mass-murder/suicide spree years from now. (The mass-murderers are always the silent ones who kept to themselves and never upset anyone, aren't they?)

Lack of visual cues levels the field. It doesn't make it any easier for me, but it does let others experience conversation without visual cues. Maybe it does make people more forgiving of miscommunication. In truth, though, that's not a big problem for me IRL. I think

The biggest difference for me is that text chat turn-taking rules are a lot less strict than in realtime talk, so I can break into conversation a lot easier. That, and in the extra time it takes me to respond IRL, people tend to turn their attention to something else, so even if I do have something to say and find a break to say it, it's no longer relevant. In text chat I have the extra time to respond because some delay is expected for typing.