The face behind the Avatar

In mine I put a blurb describing (rather vaguely actually) the level of separation I like to maintain between sl and rl. One of my friends has something like that in hers and it fit my needs. Some people have quotes summarizing their rl general philosophy. I agree with you that blank ones are boring, they give me the feeling of apathy, though I know that many simply do not want to put anything there.

Thanks Bradley. That's one I need to know.

I love Urban Dictionary. I use it all the time.

Its probably more romantic in a different context

Ah, Solanghe, I see bradley has explained all.

My dad was in the Army, and so was my brother.
At times they resorted to somewhat uncouth forms of discourse.

It can be difficult to resist, pouring forth a stream of invective, and barrack room insults, at times.

But then again, there is such a thing as using the right weapon for the job at hand.

Do you have any clue why some people use it as an escape from their first life? Or are you projecting your own failures upon others? Some people have damn good reasons to want to escape their FL. Until you know those reasons, your broad brushes strokes show how utterly ridiculous your arguments are.

My time spent in SL is in thirds, I suppose.
My loving being alone time, my keeping it real friends and my character friends.
I try to interact and deal w/ the character presented and mirror ppls back.
Dunno, I enjoy the net persona's in SL, from the realism-ists to the mad hatters
I really don't need the too much infos and RL and after having been here for a while and exposed to so many diff ppls, I don't put much stock in it anyways.
Unfort to some ppls expectations, I am just who I am, one of the reasons I don't! have any alts, it would still be me always bleeding through, staying middle of the road.

I was on iRC for while, is funny, I notice, everything there that was not okay is okay to the hilt in SL,
*thinks of Seinfelds' bizarro land episode episode*

I don't understand what the problem with escaping first life is? I work hard in FL. I put in retarded long hours, take a lot of abuse, and have to constantly be on my toes. I also have gotten to see some really cool things and meet some amazing people. I'm close with my family and I have great friends. In actuality, I enjoy my first life quite a bit, but sometimes I need a respite. What's wrong with me escaping into SL a little? That doesn't mean I have low self-esteem or I'm some sort of loser. Life piles up on you.

In any event, immesion doesn't have to be total. I don't separate between FL friends and SL friends. They are all real life friends. Some I can see in person, some I can't. Am I immersed? Sometimes while I'm with someone I get so wrapped up in what we're doing that I can actually feel it - my brain tricks my body into feeling what is happening on the screen (it can be all sorts of stuff, not just THAT stuff). Am I immersed then? I think so.

At any rate, a little escape like that is healthy. I'm not a psychologist, but I'm certain of it. It's sad to see people who can't get out of their own head enough to let themselves be immersed in the moment or to let themselves fully enjoy the friendships they could make just because the medium of communication is different.

This just sort of hit me. I've known deaf people. They communicate in an entirely different manner than normal face to face speech. That doesn't mean that the depth of their friendships or relationships is less. It's just a different form of communication. SL is not so different than sign language or braille or telephonic communication, is it? If it isn't, then why are we constantlyhearing that it's just a game or that it isn't "real"? Why is it even a Second Life and not just some other aspect of our real life?

Hmm. Philosophical self gratification. My blood-sugars must be low. I'm going to go get some chow.

Hear hear!

Escaping RL can be great fun. Reading a book, watching a movie or playing a computer game are all forms of escapism. Nobody gets hurts. No problem.

But it can be quite selfish if you're escaping into a virtual world and interacting with real people. People aren't toys.

There's a faint line between role play and deception and many people will carelessly dance around that line.

So there! Eat that! You filthy role players.

so says someone named 2k

Hiya sweetie!

Are you named after your dad or something?

Was he 1k?

I'm named after my escort fee. Ya wanna ride?

Is that role playing, or are you an escort IRL?

umm...



* runs away *

I put my RL picture on the 1st Life tab, but most don't think it's real. That's their problem, not mine.

In answer to the OP: I do not have much interest in seeing the "real" picture of the human behind the AV right away...sometimes, at all.

There are exceptions to that rule for me - but, those are people into whom I've invested a lot of time and trust...and even then, it's not common (I do keep a RL pic of myself in inventory for the very few occasions in which I'll allow someone to know what I look like)



As for the "immersion" aspect? I suppose the fact that I usually keep myself as something very non-human in SL somewhat colors my view of how I see SL.
Yes, I do allow myself to "fall into" SL, and enjoy all the quirks and non-real experiences that are offered...however, I always keep in mind that there is a human behind the avatar, with feelings, desires, and motives...I take almost nothing at face value, yet, I take everything at face value...
(if that last statement can make any sense - I suppose it's a left-brain/right-brain compromise)



...and as for the sub-argument of "learning how to communicate" in a military family?
I too am of military descent (no, did not serve in the armed forces myself), and have learned that to survive, one must communicate clearly, as the situation dictates.
If one were to communicate with a ranking officer (or other superior) in the same manner in which one communicates in the field, one will quickly find oneself on the receiving end of a wealth of unpleasantness. Not knowing if that person is an officer or not is hardly an excuse or a defense.
I was taught the same rules apply to civilian life - so, it's always wise to show respect and tact until it's been proven unneccessary...even then, respect for others tends to ellicit a superior performance (in the civilian world...I know this does not necessarily apply to a field operation, or combat zone)

Then again, we learn what we're exposed to...

well said Chris.
to Strauss: No one knows why some people use SL as a way of escaping thier RL. Does it mean they are "using SL as a gateway to make up shortcomings or self esteem boosters."? No. Perhaps you missed the story CBS ran on a group of disabled children/adults who collectivly created an avatar so they can run, dance, play, and in some instances, build and create. are those people "using SL as a gateway to make up shortcomings or self esteem boosters."?

What about those who are confined to wheelchairs? for life? those with asperger's(sp) syndrome? did you know that there are those in world looking for a way to use SL to reach autistics?* are those people "using SL as a gateway to make up shortcomings or self esteem boosters." ?

yes there are those who use this venue to escape thier RL, be it good or bad, but its not your place to judge, unless you know each one individually and are in a position to judge with such a broad brush. and yes i do spend a lot of time in SL. Because im enjoying it, what are you doing here?


*http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.html?name=News&file=print&sid=203
http://www.autistics.org
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/mar/08/guardiansocietysupplement1

I really do understand what you're saying. I immerse myself and take things at face value. It doesn't matter though whether I'm dancing creating/building or just slexploring, I always have reality and a well earned wisdom to prop up my judgment when necessary.

My first life tab has a real life photo of me -- from when I was a kid in real life. It seems appropriate.

Those I'm especially close to have seen my first life photo from recent times, too. But that's less than five or so people on SL, an likely to stay dat many. I'm not counting the people who I knew before SL in dat.

As to seeing others in their first life? That dun change much for me. I've seen the first lifes of most of the folks I'm close to in SL, an they're still the same people as always, 'cept maybe I'm a bit "richer" in the experience.

Mari

Shortcomings? <sniffle> self esteme boosters? WAAAAAAAA! :/
That statement depresses me, will it all be better if I bring my RL depressed persona into SL instead of my happy "mask"? or will that still be a shortcoming?
Please be a little sensitive towards others, not all of us have great FL's that are always "up"
You can't take SL business seriously with a Darlek or Kangaroo? Damn now I've gone from regressive to agressive
Only one of my 5 alts has a RL picture the others are all different but SL Avatar pics and have little notes saying things like "RL?"

I dont put my RL photo in profiles any longer. I gave it a lot of thought and I think I prefer to be open about my RL in SL and tell people I meet about which area I live in etc., nothing too specific, its easier for me than making up shit .....But I decided to take my photo out of the profile as I have a family and just as in RL there are nutters and crims in SL.

I once heard from a chat room friend that some guy uploaded the pic she posted on her chat profile and managed to magnify to see an envelope on her desk and her address. Now how true this is ..I dont know....Chat room myth....I dont know....but when dealing with a large number of people you dont really know at all maybe its best to err on the side of caution until you know them a bit better.

By the same token, Im not that interested in seeing RL pics in profile. They could be photos of their sister/son/uploaded from web.

Uh oh.

LOL