The face behind the Avatar

But you both totally miss the point.

Its one thing to say you are a blunt speaker -

Its another to claim to be a blunt speaker and then cry foul any time someone is blunt back.

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A lot of people tell me im Mean on the forums in response to some of my posts. You know, whatever.

I don't go crying about it in public and say that the cluque's out to get me.

If someone's going to say sharp things then they should expect the fallout.

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In your case what you did do is point a lot of fingers; and then accused other people of pointing fingers at you because they couldn't handle your style.

If you don't want fingers pointed at you - Don't point first.

Simply provide quotes of me calling someone the colorful words used to descibe me here. Then your comment has merrit.

Michael and Strauss, I'm glad you both found each other. You are perfect for each other. If you review the many threads with an open mind you will find that most everyone disagrees with one another throughout these threads, even argues a little, but we can do so without being arrogant and pompous.

I'm sure you don't care enough to have a look, but I'll suggest anyway that you have a look at some of Phil Deakins posts. Phil frequently will disagree with large groups of people and gets in long healthy debates. He doesn't pull punches. Yet, he comes across intelligent, and yes sometimes a little arrogant but nothing to the degree as the two of you.

I will end by saying that your argument that others disagree with you because of the "mob mentality" is one of the saddest and weakest arguments there is. Downright pitiful actually.

As for the thread: I would never ask anyone to temper their opinions, it's part of what makes an individual unique. I do, however, think it's a little inconsiderate to post said opinions without applying some tact with it. All of the same things can be said in ways that won't incite a flame war. I won't go into the merits of flaming and arguing UNarguable opinions on an internet forum.

To the OP: Yes it does change things for me a bit if I see their RL pic, but that all depends on how long/well I've known the person before I see it. I explicitly do not want to see other people's RL pictures of themselves.. I decline them every time. However, I do have my own RL pic in my profile, mostly to satisfy the curious, and because I'm lazy and don't want to be finding and sending pics every time someone may want to see it.

K sure.



Right here you imply those who Hide or immerse themselves are making up for shortcomings and low self esteem ---- So basically a complicated way of saying people who do are losers.



Here you say that those losers need to get up and fix their lives.


You don't make allowances that many who do hide are not losers -- You instead contrast yourself to them.

Furthermore, you are basically with a broad brush saying those whose first lives arent so great are at fault for it. Which is often not entirely true.


While you dont say the word loser you strongly imply it.


And sorry, in my opinion categorizing people as losers because of how much RL they disclose in a virtual world/video game is a lot worse than someone calling you an ass on a forum for being OBVIOUSLY insensitive.

I never said you needed my permission, any more than I need yours. You stated your opinion, I made an argument against it.



I read it thoroughly, thank you. I don't post unless I'm sure I've understood and have something to say. I'll let my small number of posts for the time I've been on this forum speak for the consideration I give every reply. The fact you didn't mention RP was part of my point: you said you thought SL was only for x, y and z, I pointed out some other things.



Not really relevant, given my previous point, but I've no issue with that.



I'll not rise to that bait. Your post angered me, my response annoyed you. I've been around long enough to know it'd be hard for us to come to an agreement on this. I don't agree with your first post, but you stand your ground and argue your case. That's good enough for me.

*offers to shake hands and give you the last word*





He might not have named names, but he strongly implied that anyone hiding their RL self was in some way lacking. More than a little disrespectful, I think?

Mike, that is not what I said. I in no way said your family's experience was not truth or "made up". I also did not say it was "bullshit". Come on, you are being defensive and there's no need. Please re-read my post.

Let me clarify: Like you my family was "career military" and I was raised in the "hurry up and wait, say what you mean and be quick about it" military environment. That was MY OWN LIFE for over 20 years, therefore I feel I can speak on the subject with a bit of authority.

I am AGREEING with you here. The point I was making is that DESPITE this family background and my upbringing, I am still able to respond to posts cordially, without sounding arrogant, know-it-all, or by demeaning or cursing or calling other people names. Even when I feel like doing it, and trust me it's often.



Yes, it's true that just because a group of people agree, in particular a small group, doesn't make a general opinion right or wrong. BUT, one has to examine it from another perspective.

There is solid sociological value in examining the reasons behind a general consensus. It's not always mob mentality. Sometimes it is a bunch of people all recognizing something for what it is.

Please don't bite my head off if you reply.

Oh yes, and He is even hotter than that. After 6 months my friend shared His pic with me, I just about died on the spot because He is so so freaking hot. "GORGEOUS, he is"

I have my rl eyes on my rl profile also, but there is a reason behind that. It goes with the coments in my sl profile, even though it is not pretaining to me.

I, granted, made some broad strokes, however please dispute me that in some cases I did not hit the nail on the head. In my short time here I can easily point out a handful of ppl I meet that use SL as a escape and have no FL to speak of. Sad? Very much so. A fact however? Yes. Every online medium has its warts/issues like this, SL included.

That said, the difference between what you quoted and what was said to me; the people who posted said messages to me were directly attacking me, by name. I made some observations clearly not pointing the finger at anyone specific, but at a sub-part of the community. Now if you consider yourself part of the branch of the community my brush hit upon, thus took exception to my comments, there is not a lot I can do about that.

Its my opinion and AFAIK entitled to it. Don't have to agree of course but don't need to throw a hissy fit either (general comment).

I was going for dry humor more then bait but I'll take what I can get.

Fair enough. *shake*

The military also calls it: Bottom Line...if you hear your ranking officer say this...you better stop beating around the bush and make it quick.

/me smiles and winks.

Well thank you for your stamp of approval, I can now sleep better tonight...

And I am called arrogant and self righteous? *chuckle*

Ah, you're a Saint...thanks.

You don't think 'mob mentality' exists then...hmmm...OK, let's send a memo to the IBS (International Board of Sociologists) and clue them in...all their books need a reprint.

Really though...I mean that in a lite-hearted way.

Mob mentality exists...and on a forum, it exists in a big way. If you don't agree with that, I suggest you research the concept, and study the posting habits of specific people, and groups of people. If you still don't agree...we are an a loss.

Some of you have always had the tendency to immediately disagree (or find a way to) about a lot of what I say...and I believe it is because you've judged me, written me off, and have no problem picking a fight or to be the first to attack me. (Not always...but sometimes)

I'm not whining here. It's OK...all of this. As long as we all try to be nice, keep an open mind, and think for ourselves...we'll all be happier.

I'm sorry for being crude or swearing...that is not in my nature. It's rare that you see me cus on a board.

Good night all...going home.

Glad I could help. Pleasant dreams.

I used to have my RL picture for the 1st Life section, but I have found that I get a better reaction from folks when I just use a snapshot from in-world. I originally put the pic in because I was used to doing that as a Forum Moderator, on MySpace, and on a lot of other sites... but I guess folks don't like to be "snapped out of" thier impression of my "virtual self", even though to me, with the pics he's almost a "mirror image"

*shrugs*

You were lumping them in with a bunch of people you were directly negatively contrasting to yourself.

How did you expect them to respond?




Then (if you are hoping to avoid offended rebuttal) say "SOME PEOPLE" hide their RLs because of these things. Make it VERY clear its only some. And point out you know some.

Just because you have anecdotal evidence that it happens doesn't mean you know the scope of the problem.

And lastly (if you are trying to avoid confrontation) don't paint yourself as better than those who have RL troubles. Which you clearly did in your post.

Mike, I am really curious as to why you didn't respond to my post (#82). Not trying to bait you, I really want to know. ??

Mike, were you in the military?

Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever heard of a person asking for a RL pic but then refusing to share one of their own?
Just your eyes ... hmmm, sounds very provocative. I want see. Send me a pic. What do you look like in RL

That was just a joke, Marianne. While I do think that a photo of your eyes would be enticing, it is your choice whether you want to share yourself or not. If someone is so easily swayed in their opinions that that they need "proof" of you, then it only prevents heartache later when you refuse now. It is usually strong evidence that they do not care about you as a person.

In any setting, dropping a RL picture on someone is like showing family photos to people you work with or, worse yet, random strangers in line at the store. I can not remember if I have a 1st life pic up or not at this time. If I do, it's probably something silly.

I do look at peoples 1st life tab. Not that I want to see what they look like or even believe 99.9% of the pictures I see there. It does, however, give me some glimpse as t who the person is and maybe a something to spark a conversation with.

So, with all that said, the answer to the original question is yes; seeing a RL picture changes a relationship. For good or ill is on a case by case basis. Put it this way, if a picture is worth a thousand words, how much would your relationship change after you each shared 1000 words in chat? You may grow closer, you may become annoyed or you may just find you have little in common.

LOL yes thats happened to me a lot of times.

My SL partner is 66 in real. He is no Clint Eastwood. But, I get through that "persona" and arrive at the real person - age is a rotten trick and the "real" person is often a 22 year old trapped in an aging body. SL allows for my partner to be young again. I ALLOW him that luxury yet I am young in real. Yes, he is brilliant and successful in real life - I know this, I am not simply "told". Yet, in SL, my partner is young and vibrant and sexy. Cybahsex allows us to be simply a couple. Our lovemaking and or chatting is almost ordinary. But, wow, if only men of my age had the intellect, experience, sensitivity wealth and stability of life! SL makes the impossible very very possible.
I have learnt a huge amount by being partnered to this man. If I transfer my knowledge to a real partner (which I don't have) in real life, (which, right now, is work, commitment and striving for achievement), I know it will be of benefit to them and to me.

In regards to the OP.

I did consider populating my 1st life tab with the following..

"Pull your thumb out of your a$$

Quit whining like a bitch..

And grow a pair FFS."

But I decided against it.

Tone is extremely important in text communication, and unless you could see my broad smile, twinkling eyes, and self-deprecating body-language, you might think I am some class of lout.

I always check the 1st life tab.
I consider it another piece on the board, and it is interetsing to me how people deploy it.

Even a blank space there, tells me something.

For the record, I'm not Audrey Tautou. Her picture is in my FL tab as a joke because my brother said, "OMG They've made a movie about you!" when he saw 'Amélie'. I'm thinking of taking it out, I didn't know so many people actually looked there. Or that so many hadn't seen the movie. I don't think I'll put a RL picture of me though, I find it sends the wrong message. Like I'm looking or something... Blank ones are boring, so what's a girl to do? Any suggestions?

/me cracks up. What is "FFS" by the way Orfeu?