The face behind the Avatar

And once, I threw up a lot!

A very kind man (well 3 kind men) told me that my RL self was better looking than my avi, they lie.

I share my RL pic when it pleases me and I do not require a RL picture in return. Unless you are friggin hot!

Grape.

I was referring to the 'with all due respect' rebuttal from you to his 'with all due respect.'

I noticed he hadn't specified a single person--or eluded to anyone in particular--and I thought it was a bit unfair what you said to him...

I'm not here to save the day...I'm just making an observation.

Since when did giving ones opinion have to include insinuations that might upset people? I love getting other peopels views on things, they dont have to be presented in a manor that gets people riled up unless that is in fact the point. *shrugs* Call me crazy if you will, but having an opinion that differs from others, or most, doesnt mean it has to come out harshly.

I'm very late into this thread, but for me, an RL pic makes a LOT of difference. It's the reason that I don't want to know the RL age, shape and face of an SL person that I'm being in any way romantic with. In fact, I make it rule. It's not always kept, but it's my rule just the same.

The moment I see the RL person, that's the person who the relationship is with, and I change away from having the relationship with the SL imagination. My rule is sometimes broken, and I've found RL people who far surpass their SL avs, so it's not always bad, but if I'm in a relationship with someone, I don't want it to go bad, so I made that rule for myself.

With all due respect in my case meant more along the lines of "nada". LOL.

Much like the use of "Sir" to a customer invariably means, in the most charming tone of voice I have (and believe me it is charming, it's my livelihood practically) "Shut up and pay attention, mate, *I* am talking".

Only to customers, mind.

The reason I did is because he quoted me. Not too large a leap to think it was aimed for my attention, you see.

And I like grapes and will have some for dessert. Thanks for the reminder that I bought some yesterday!

I've had a couple incidents now where, for one reason or another, I was unexpectedly shown a photo of the real person who plays as one of the avatars that Ceera or one of my other avatars interact with. Or where I otherwise was confronted with information I had not known before, about the actual gender of the person, and it didn't match how they had portrayed themselves.

As far as I was concerned, it had a bad effect on the situation. Before, I was pretty willing to accept their roleplaying character(s) as whatever gender they elected to present themselves as, at that moment. In each case, their overall appearance and behavior tended to be female, and I generally thought of and accepted them as female. Then the picture (or other information) made it inescapably clear that "She" was in fact a "He".

Now, since I don't ever intend to do anything more intimate than a hug in RL with the people I roleplay with, it doesn't matter too terribly much to me that the person is gender bending. I play characters of both genders myself, and I don't ever try to form emotional attachments to the other person behind the keyboard. But now, whe I am around their character, I still think of them as male, even if their current form is decidedly female. The illusion that they initially created, that they were that female character, has been destroyed for me.

I still roleplay with them, but now... conversations tend to be more out of character. They tend to topics I know a guy would be interested in instead of things I'd chatter on about endlessly with another woman. It definitely changed the dynamics of the friendship.

This is also one of the resons I detest Voice Chat. If someone can act well enough to convincingly roleplay the opposite of their true gender, that is fine with me, and I want to accept them as they present that character. Hearing a voice that doesn't at all fit the character just screws it all up for me. And having them hear a female voice coming from my male alts is just as bad, as that destroys the believability of those characters for them.

This is an interesting claim Michael.

May I ask how you come to be privy, to peoples witheld beliefs??

Can you see into the innermost chambers of a persons secret heart??

Style is always a very subjective topic.

I may see myself, as a..."Tell it like it is, straight shooter, no need to candy-coat it....." sort of a guy.

You may see me as a ...."Intolerant, provocative, heartless".....sort of a guy.

Part of the stylistic mechanism of the "straight shooters" is to rarely leave anything that could be quoted directly against them in evidence, while knowingly lacing their threads with barbed implications.

Quite a disciplined use of language in fact.

Using someone's quote doesn't mean it is directed towards you...that's only one reason a person is being quoted.

Many times, a quote is quoted for truth, quoted because you strongly agree, or disagree, or perhaps [you] just wanted to reference a point made by another...

That's not a very large leap to understand that...it's pretty standard stuff.

Don't be an ass. I've been told by some, and some have been friends who 'clued me in' as to what they really thought, but were afraid to say.

I've been on forums since BBs in the early '90s...why do you assume I'm making shit up?

It doesn't take a genius to know there are leaders, and there are followers.

She wasn't being an ass, Michael. I hate to jump in at this point, but whenever the majority disagrees with you you tend to use the same argument: that they are just mob mentality and aren't thinking for themselves. Whose the one being an ass?

But on those occasions where a Majority agrees with him then no such Mob mentality exists.

Are you kidding me. You should re-read what she wrote...it's very passive aggressive and obviously there are specific pokes and prods in there.

It's clear as day.

I certainly didn't expect this thread to grow so long or be as charged as it is. I appreciate all the comments and replies. It has given me a good dose of perspective.

Thank you all.

Everyone is always Passive-aggressive too.

Even when someone comes right at you, they are somehow "PASSIVE" aggressive.

Nah Mike, can't let you get away with this one. I'm 4th generation military, my father is a retired Marine and I myself recently retired after 20+ years in the service myself. And yet, I usually manage to post succinctly without upsetting too many people. At least so far. So, I ain't buying that excuse.



I will agree with you here, as I myself was hesitant to post until I came to understand that usually what is said should be taken with a grain of salt and not taken so personally.

However, I do find certain folks have a "tone" for lack of a better word, that can easily be interpreted as arrogant or argumentative. Also, when more than one person in any group complains about the same thing, one must ask oneself, "what (or who) is the common denominator here?"

Hey, screw you guys. You think your shit don't stink? You think you guys are always diplomatic and kind? Pshhh...give me a break. Whether you admit it or not, I make a lot of sense, and I'm not ashamed of anything I express (unless I just had a burrito).

Look...

Let's be real here...bah...forget it. I've come to terms with the reality that there are people out there completely lacking rationality. There is nothing to gain from continual discussion...

I'm not always looking to be right...I just want you all to know what I think...

Read her fuckin quote...jesus christ you guys...it's clear as day. Stop flaming me just because...what I said was completely legitimate...

Don't get me angry...I'll tell a Linden...

OK, so your's and your family's military background is the truth...OK. Mine isn't. What my father, and his friends believed in was made-up military bullshit. They were all career military, them, and generations before them...but the ay what you mean, be quick about it: saying they believed in...was malarkey.

And...the common denominator can be popularity...acceptance...no backbone...there are a lot of reasons...denominators. Just because the majority of people think something, doesn't make them right. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, opinion is neither wrong, nor right...it just is.

Not that it matters but I think you called Orfeu an ass, who appears to be a he by his profile pic.




I don't see the passive aggressive nature of this post. I see an observation. Orfeu has a point most "straight shooters" want a license to be rude to people, without being subjected to any rebuttal rudeness.

Well said Ladies. i really do get tired personally of being painted with that "broad brush". Strauss, instead of assuming that thats what many are here for, try gettin to know people/avi. you run a virtual club ffs, you of all people should know better.

And after reading the last few posts, I think one of those barbs struck home, Orfeu.

Coughs....He, my dear fellow...He.

I am reconsidering my disciplined use of language remark.

So, let me get this right.

You are backing up your assertions, by referring to private comments made by friends.
So people you consider friends, lie on this forum about their real feelings.
Cool, nice friends to have.

And you are a veteran of forums and BBs since the 90's.
Sorry, I fail to see how this changes anything.

There are leaders and followers, huh?

Um.......ok. Which category do you come under.?

Might I suggest that we leave the swearing out of it, in the interest of pursuing a rational discussion?

That's a male logic v female intuition gap that can't be crossed, and if you didn't have an armoured bum I'd spank some sense into it!

What would I know after all? I'm just a dumb little girl ...

(Warning ... trap!)

/me squeaks up, hoping not to get burned,

Can't we all chill, just a little bit. Stop the nasty words, personal remarks and general flames, and turn this back into a civilised discussion? Disagreeing is fine, just don't start snarking and making it personal.

Please?

It is for everyone's benefit.

Quote from one of my fav movies: You just became my new hero!

I was in the Army in the early 90s and reading your post was like reading my mind. LOL too funny.

And for what its worth I agree 150% with your assement on message forums. Certainly some level of tact and treating each oether with basic human respect is in order. However having to tip toe though a daisy field to say something is, as you said, a waste of time and those reading should be of the ability to not take offense at the first comment or opinion that goes against their grain.

As for your 'one with the team' comment I can not agree more. People shouldn't be afraid to say whats on their mind. To hells with what others think if you are sticking to your convictions. If your 'friends' on here are going to turn on you at the snap of a finger as soon as you stop following the pack, then they really were not your 'friends' to start with.

Stop by my club sometime I'd love to hang and chat with you