When a random someone asks for money....

I just tell them to get a job. Have had several begging me and I can't stand it. I guess they do the same thing in RL.

Aww I feel bad for your family member, but people can be so different. The other day, I saw a newbie arrive on my sim, with the newbie dotted dress and ponytail and black shoes, less than one day old. Well my sim is newbie friendly and I have lots of freebies and other helps; but 2 of my residents were setting up an exhibit of their racecars, that they race in SL at the time. I went over there to see if the newbie needed help and she was like NO!!! I don't NEED any help!! I just want to talk to these guys, can you go away now? I was like dang, ok, lol. The guys loved it of course, had themselves a groupie and stood and chatted with her for ages.

Yeah it's too bad she didn't include you at all in it. Maybe you could have directed her to "search' so she could get back there...

If it is a stranger (or a friend who has asked too often, without paying me back in the past) :

Random request for money = "No." from me.

Second request after I said "No" = "Get out your credit card and buy some. I am not buying any for you."

Still bugging me after that? = Mute the person, and walk away or teleport elsewhere.

If it is a friend:

Depends. Lately, the answer is still probably "Sorry, I can't. I am saving it all to pay for my next land payment."

For a friend who rarely asks? If I have my own expenses covered that month, I usually don't mind. But I can't afford to be as generous as I used to be.

Does anyone think that maybe donating money to newbs in SL could lead to higher retention rates and encourage them to learn and make themselves more self sufficient? I know that my early designs were funded by donations unasked for and from random moneyball payouts. Maybe a method of finding actual newbies and paying them can be figured out? Like if someone completes a set of building courses they get paid 250l to go out and make something.

I do not know this person, she just IM'd me as we were standing in Stiletto Moody... (name changed)


-- Instant message logging enabled --
[12:03] Immabeggar Lorefield: hi
[12:03] Sassy Romano: hello
[12:04] Immabeggar Lorefield: how are you ?
[12:04] Sassy Romano: good thanks you?
[12:05] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok
[12:05] Immabeggar Lorefield: can i ask a question?
[12:05] Sassy Romano: of course you can
[12:06] Immabeggar Lorefield: can i borrow 200l usally i dont ask this but im very desperate i do get paid on monday i will pay it back
[12:06] Sassy Romano: 200 is less than $1 US
[12:08] Immabeggar Lorefield: yeah but i dont use real money
[12:08] Sassy Romano: what do you need it for?
[12:08] Immabeggar Lorefield: im expecting a baby so im short on a nursery
[12:08] Sassy Romano: an SL baby?
[12:09] Immabeggar Lorefield: yep
[12:10] Sassy Romano: if you stick it on the floor, it won't notice
[12:10] Immabeggar Lorefield: huh
[12:10] Sassy Romano: it's not real, it won't notice if you place it on the floor or in a cot
[12:10] Immabeggar Lorefield: i will pay it back
[12:10] Immabeggar Lorefield: can i just borrow it please
[12:12] Sassy Romano: let me consult my therapist...
[12:12] Immabeggar Lorefield: haha
[12:14] Immabeggar Lorefield: so what did your therapist
[12:14] Sassy Romano: not answering yet
[12:15] Sassy Romano: what job do you do?
[12:16] Immabeggar Lorefield: nurse
[12:16] Sassy Romano: in SL I meant?
[12:16] Immabeggar Lorefield: yeah a nurse
[12:17] Sassy Romano: i've been advised that in accordance with the Financial Services Act, in order to consider a loan, I would need to have a full break down of income and expenses
[12:17] Immabeggar Lorefield: so you wanna know what i make
[12:17] Sassy Romano: and expenses
[12:17] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok
[12:18] Immabeggar Lorefield: i make 650 weekly i work weekends
[12:18] Immabeggar Lorefield: only
[12:19] Immabeggar Lorefield: ii dont spend thta much on clothes i usally spend 250 on clothes and shoes
[12:19] Sassy Romano: and how long has prim baby been coming?
[12:19] Immabeggar Lorefield: my baby is due on monday
[12:20] Sassy Romano: you buy it on monday?
[12:20] Immabeggar Lorefield: no
[12:20] Immabeggar Lorefield: i already bought it
[12:20] Immabeggar Lorefield: i give birth on monday
[12:20] Sassy Romano: and how long has it been coming for?
[12:20] Immabeggar Lorefield: 4 weeks
[12:20] Sassy Romano: so in 4 weeks you'd have earned L$2600
[12:21] Immabeggar Lorefield: yes
[12:21] Sassy Romano: and 4 days before you find that you didn't plan 4 weeks of spending?
[12:21] Immabeggar Lorefield: my baby cost 6k
[12:21] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok
[12:22] Immabeggar Lorefield: i just need to borrow 20l
[12:22] Sassy Romano: but what happens to prim baby without the nursery?
[12:22] Immabeggar Lorefield: it has no bed
[12:22] Immabeggar Lorefield: i will pay it back
[12:23] Sassy Romano: and that will affect it how?
[12:23] Immabeggar Lorefield: it will be homeless
[12:23] Immabeggar Lorefield: can i just i borrow 200l
[12:23] Sassy Romano: I can rez a cube and hollow it out if that helps?
[12:23] Immabeggar Lorefield: well can i borrow 200l please
[12:25] Sassy Romano: hold on..
[12:25] Immabeggar Lorefield: kk
[12:25] Inventory item offered
[12:26] Immabeggar Lorefield: thanks but can i borrow 200
[12:26] Sassy Romano: but that's a bed no?
[12:26] Sassy Romano: I just made that for you, it's a gift especially from Autie Sassy
[12:26] Immabeggar Lorefield: a bed is not the only thing bath tub
[12:26] Immabeggar Lorefield: haha
[12:26] Immabeggar Lorefield: please i will pay you back im just short of 200
[12:27] Sassy Romano: but you don't need 200 now, you have a cot?
[12:27] Sassy Romano: bath tub...hold on...
[12:28] Inventory item offered
12:57] Immabeggar Lorefield: so can i borrow it
[12:57] Sassy Romano: I made a cot and a bath for you, those were your requirements no?
[12:58] Immabeggar Lorefield: yes but can i can borrow 200l it not like im not going to pay you back
[12:58] Sassy Romano: but you have what you need no?
[12:58] Immabeggar Lorefield: yeah but i want a nursery im just short of 200
[12:58] Immabeggar Lorefield: i will pay it back
[12:58] Sassy Romano: what else do you need?
[12:59] Immabeggar Lorefield: sassy thank you for the cot and the bath but im short of 200l i will pay you back i want to buy a scupltie one
[13:00] Sassy Romano: ah but you have to cut your cloth accordingly. See when I moved into my house, all I could afford was a plywood cube but I was happy and used that until I could afford a sofa
[13:00] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok but i will pay you back
[13:01] Sassy Romano: I think the point is being lost... prim baby won't know the difference between a 2 prim cot or a one prim sculpty no?
[13:01] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok i ask can i borrow 200l if it is yes say yes if it is a no then say no
[13:02] Sassy Romano: well... i'm saving you 200 here, this is a good thing. You said you needed it for a cot and a bath, well actually you said a nursery but we identified the actual need. I met the need with gifts and yet that's not working here?
[13:03] Immabeggar Lorefield: like i said i ask for 200
[13:03] Immabeggar Lorefield: i said ill pay you back
[13:03] Sassy Romano: and I met the need saving 200 bonus!
[13:03] Immabeggar Lorefield: yeah but im not trying to save can i just borrow it
[13:03] Sassy Romano: but what for? I don't understand?
[13:04] Immabeggar Lorefield: i need it please i will pay it back
[13:04] Sassy Romano: need it for?...
[13:04] Immabeggar Lorefield: cause im trying to save up to 800 i have 340
[13:04] Sassy Romano: but that makes you 460 short?
[13:04] Immabeggar Lorefield: yes
[13:05] Sassy Romano: so even after 200 from me, you won't have enough
[13:05] Immabeggar Lorefield: yeah but it is a start
[13:06] Sassy Romano: but...you don't need to spend 800 now, cos you have what you identified as needing
[13:06] Immabeggar Lorefield: a tummy talker is 800
[13:06] Sassy Romano: but you wanted a nursery not a tummy talker?
[13:06] Immabeggar Lorefield: i want both
[13:07] Sassy Romano: well if you can't *afford* both.... just like RL, what I want and what I can afford are two different things
[13:07] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok well can i borrow 200l please i said a millon times i will pay it back ok
[13:08] Sassy Romano: but you don't need it, it's only a want. Surely the cot upgrade can wait until Monday?
[13:08] Immabeggar Lorefield: ok like i said i dont need a finacal consulted can i borrow 200l
[13:09] Sassy Romano: did you see anything in Stiletto Moody you liked? great shoes eh?
[13:10] Immabeggar Lorefield: yeah there nice
[13:10] Sassy Romano: odd store to be in if you've got other things that demand money?
[13:11] Immabeggar Lorefield: i bought shoes from there today
[13:11] Immabeggar Lorefield: im just short of 200l
[13:11] Immabeggar Lorefield: on a tummy talker
[13:11] Sassy Romano: but wait....if you bought shoes today...why didn't you buy the tummy talker instead?
[13:11] Immabeggar Lorefield: can i just borrow it i told you personal info about my job
[13:12] Immabeggar Lorefield: i didnt know that tummy talkers cost 800
[13:12] Immabeggar Lorefield: i thought they were cheaper
[13:12] Sassy Romano: is it essential? what will happen if you don't have it?
[13:12] Immabeggar Lorefield: i will not be able to give birth
[13:13] Sassy Romano: so in that case then it will wait until Monday yes? If it won't happen until you buy it, there's the solution!
[13:14] Immabeggar Lorefield: nvm then

I can't think of any reason it would be, or any reason you would assume it was. Wouldn't that be a really strange thing to put in a TOS?



Sounds like fun, however, "caging and orbiting people" is actually a violation of the TOS, it is considered abuse. The only legal thing you can do to annoying visitors is "eject and ban them" if you are the land owner. You can also "mute" them so you don't have to listen to anything they might have to say.

Whoa. Okay, that is bad. If someone came up to me asking where's the best place to learn how to handle SL, I'll gladly help 'em. Those are the ones that need and deserve help because they are actually interested and willing to learn.

*mutters* I don't "loan" money to my extended family, let a lone complete strangers. If I did, it'd be "giving" money, since in both cases, I know I'll never see another cent of it.

This was my second day in SL on my old account:

[2008/08/12 22:14] *******: borrow me 1.000lindens
[2008/08/12 22:14] me: one?
[2008/08/12 22:15] *******: yeah
[2008/08/12 22:15] *******: please
*gives her ONE linden*
[2008/08/12 22:15] *******: one thousand
[2008/08/12 22:16] me: ahh, I don't have that kind of cash sorry (I just started yesterday)

She *wasn't* new...

A week into SL....

[2008/08/19 18:18] ******: hi
[2008/08/19 18:18] me: sup
[2008/08/19 18:18] ******: give me pls 150 l
[2008/08/19 18:19] me: what do I get out of it?

Yea... I got an early introduction to panhandlers in SL... not even noobs, either of them.

I have had many ppl ask me for money but i will not give to beggars. I have been known to help someone new by buying items but that is my choice they do not ask me to if they ask then they get a no and told ow to get their own money

Thank you, Sassy. I enjoyed reading that.

Good to read this and know I'm not the only one who gets targeted. Bludgers after money no longer get any answer from me (naturally, good friends are welcome to anything, and genuine new people to any practical help I can offer--I am very generous with my time in that respect, and really do enjoy teaching).

I once made the mistake of asking a beggar why they couldn't just use the buy Lindens button like the rest of us, and the reply was that they refused to rack up a CC debt for a game. Sooooo...I'm expected to do it instead to fund your game for you? Brreeep....wrong. That was such a sad indictment on the begging attitude I just don't let them engage me any more.

And no, I do not feel at all guilty for refusing to give away anything I've worked hard for, (and had to often forego social fun to attain), just because a stranger believes they have a right to demand it.

At this point I will spot someone some lindens to upload textures or something if I believe they have none. But someone asking for a few hundred or thousand L$ in a store so they can buy a skin or hair or clothes - I tell them I used freebies for most of my time in SL, and they can too. (Especially with all the great freebies out there, now. Almost TOO many.)

I don't know if it would be within TOS. For one thing people could make false accusations. But you can certainly AR them for harassment. (Help/Abuse Report in your SL.)

Absolutely am with Rioko.
I have had someone IM me in Redgrave asking for money, didnt know them from a bar of soap, i found it totally rude...last time i looked i didnt have "charity" stamped across my fore head.

I shoot them.... If they ask in one of my groups they are ejected.. HOWEVER, if I see a new person mostly women I do this for. I am more than happy to show them freebie places, lucky chairs and give them som eof my own designs..

But I've only given 1 person L$ in 2 years on SL that asked me for it and he spent 1 hour helping me with learning to build.. All he wanted was to upload a texture. and I thought it was the least I could do.

However, I never turn down L$ anyone wants to send my way

I think I look poor cause no one ever asks me and I really wanna shoot somoene

I concur with the "hard earned RL money" part.

My initial reaction borders to "sympathy" and/ "empathy" than getting "annoyed" in instances such as this, but would always arm myself with an alertness to balance out thoughts.

Avatar with an older or freshly-joined date is not much of a factor for me to look into since some people are capable to perform any conceivable act (to stranger(s)) in order to mislead or aim for what they are looking for; to keep up with the pretentiousness. Hence, it is not a reliable gauge to begin with, given the fact this takes place in a virtual world where anonymity rules and the convenience it brings.

That said, I try to take things at "face value" out of consideration for the other person's feeling and leave the premise after turning down such said request respectfully.

Arch:
My mistake. It isn't in the TOS but rather in the Community Standards:

2.Harassment
Given the myriad capabilities of Second Life, harassment can take many forms. Communicating or behaving in a manner which is offensively coarse, intimidating or threatening, constitutes unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors, or is otherwise likely to cause annoyance or alarm is Harassment.

If someone comes into my SL home and starts harrassing me for Ls, sexual favors, or anything else, then THEY are in violation of Community Standards, NOT ME. In fact, I had someone come into my shop they other day who was very creepy. He asked me "What are you doing here alone?" which struck me as threatening within the context. I replied that I was busy and that I couldn't talk right now. He left, but let me assure you that if he hadn't left and continued harrassing me, then your interpretation of TOS be damned--he was gonna get it! Why? Because HE was clearly in the wrong by coming in there the way he did and in the way in which he presented himself. It seems to me that--overall--LL would prefer that we act like adults and handle SL disputes amongst ourselves. THEN if that is not successful, contact them. I would have done that also, but not before making sure to get this creep off my *ss FIRST! The fact that you somehow twisted what I said to make me in the wrong makes me wonder if you fully understand what constitutes harrassment and what constitutes self-defense. Or maybe you are one of these types of people who go around harrassing others and then cry wolf when they whammy you over it.

Rasecel - use your own judgment. Then let LL sort it out.

Thank you! That's what I was trying to point out to ArchTx but for some reason he seemed to want to put me into the wrong.

Using physical weapons against griefers does not work very well. Most of them have better weapons than you do, and by using them you're justifying in their minds an escalation of force. You are more likely to hurt them by using the SL built in tools (freeze, AR, eject, and ban) which lets you file an AR that's more likely to actually stick.

Mostly she just didnt want to get roped into the dusty oldbies that most of the family are too quickly and explore things on her own. I can respect that. Folks need to take SL at their own pace. But yeah we certainly could have eased things for her if we'd even known she was doing it at the time. We only found out afterwards. Stubborn girl is Surreal.

I think I used the word "orbit" when I meant "eject." The spell HUD I own has an eject feature on it. As for the rest, I am really not going to argue about it. If someone comes into my SL home and harrasses me and won't leave, then yes, as far as I am concerned it's war!

They im me and say i need money .. I respond ROFLMAO dont we all ??? But i wouldnt come into a a game and beg.

Excuse me but do you have any extra money?

oO Umm let me look real fast..brb!!
1 linden.
2 linden.
3 linden.
This may take a bit..It says i have 20,000 lindens but i want to count them to make sure there are no extra in there to be on the safe side...
oh now i have to start over..
1 linden.
2 linden.
3 linden.