The newest thing I heard, its not good...

Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the street light, and I realized, y'know, he's just working out. I mean, how would I feel if somebody come runnin' in the gym and bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? Then I saw this snarling beast guy, and I noticed he had a tissue in his hand, and I'm realizing, y'know, he's not snarling, he's sneezing. Y'know, ain't no real threat there. Then I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinking, y'know, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night with quantum physics books? She about to start some shit, Zed. She's about eight years old, those books are WAY too advanced for her. If you ask me, I'd say she's up to something. And to be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it.

Or do I owe her an apology?

And now you're back ...
from outer space ...
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face,
I should've changed that stupid lock,
I should have made you leave your key,
If I'd have known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me.
Go on, now go!
Walk out the door...

I seen a rainbow yesterday
But too many storms have come and gone
Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray
Is it because my life is ten shades of gray
I pray all ten fade away
Seldom praise Him for the sunny days

And like His promise is true
Only my faith can undo
The many chances I blew
To bring my life to anew
Clear blue and unconditional skies
Have dried the tears from my eyes
No more lonely cries
My only bleedin' hope
Is for the folk who can't cope
Wit such an endurin' pain
That it keeps 'em in the pourin' rain
Who's to blame
For tootin' caine in your own vein
What a shame
You shoot and aim for someone else's brain
You claim the insane
And name this day in time
For fallin' prey to crime
I say the system got you victim to your own mind

Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin' true
Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and you

Lisa "left Eye" Lopez
(R.I.P.)

Don't try to call
There are some bridges that burn
Beyond recognition beyond repair
Don't say you've changed
There are some forces that turn
Beyond recollection beyond my stare
When I feel the cold in the dark I know you're there

Long ago I was a woman in pain
A woman in need I ran to you
Long ago I did not understand
You were making me bleed I ran to you
When I feel the cold in the dark
I know what you do

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Nobody on the road
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
The summers out of reach
Empty lake,
Empty streets
The sun goes down alone
I'm drivin by your house
Though I know you're not home

Don't look at the carpet.
I drew something awful on it.

I saw something NASTY in the woodshed!

Seth, drain the well. There's a neighbor missing.

* farts *

Who let the dogs out?

The three friends in the trench looked very much alike as they labored in the rain. Their hairless skulls were slickly naked to it, their torsos hairless too, and supple with smooth muscles that ran like oil under the wet gleam.

The two, who were really 2909 and 2911, did not mind the jungle around them though they detested the rain that rusted their weapons, and the snakes and the insects, and hated the Enemy. But the one called 2910, the real as well as official leader of the three, did; and that was because 2909 and 2911 has stainless-steel bones; but there was no 2910 and there never had been.

And I was standing over there, rusting for the longest time.

Rodney Copperbottom: This is our moment to shine, to show them what we're made of.
Fender: In my case it's a rare metal called afraidium. It's yellow, tastes like chicken...

Fender: You consider me a friend?
Rodney Copperbottom: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Fender: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked

You... Are.... A.... TOY!!!!!!!

Woody: T-O-Y. Toy!
Buzz: Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger."
Woody: The word I'm searching for: I can't say, because there are preschool toys present.

This is a perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move to their new house in two days, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

Before your space journey, re-energize yourself with a slice of pepperoni, now boarding at counter three.

Buzz: This is an intergalactic emergency. I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 12. Who's in charge here?
All Aliens: [pointing up] The Claw!
Alien #1: The Claw is our master.
Alien #2: The Claw chooses who will go and who will stay.
Woody: This is ludicrous.

Woody: It's a special spaceship, I just saw it.
Buzz: You mean it has hyperdrive?
Woody: Hyperactive hyperdrive, and astro... uh... turf.

Can't quote Toy Story without the famous.....


To infinity, and beyond!