Lies, Deception and Evilness

Wow, that was pretty low. xD Just goes to show how serious some people take online relationships, and that goes both ways. I can't say I blame the lady, because it's a game and if you want to roleplay, you can. I guess your friend knows that the lady wasn't a real friend, because if she really wanted a serious relationship (and by serious, I mean not screwing with her xD lol no pun intended) she would have said admitted it first. Online should take longer to evaluate relationships compared to RL, just because people screw around all the time online because there are not very many consequences. I've pretended to be a guy just to see if I could pull it off, and really it's easy to do, and kind of fun. I'd never take it to the next level (I'm not interested in that stuff) but I know some people who would just to get a kick out of it, and I've seen them do it before (not on SL but on chats and IMs).

With dragons, bunnies, robots, and walking eggs everywhere you turn on SL, it's hard for me to picture someone getting that caught up after knowing someone only a month. Not to say I haven't had an online relationship, I have, after two years of knowing him, and it still wasn't enough. But that's just me.

I sure as hell hope you are not right, considering I met, married and am very happy with my SL love (who is now my RL husband)

crap? falling in love anywhere is a gift, a blessing and something to be cherished, I would not call it crap, just because it is online

that would be like saying, I can't understand this falling in love at the supermarket crap... or the nightclub, etc

and yes you are right, not everyone is lucky to have more love than they can ask for in their RL...

and sometimes love jumps up and grabs us when we least expect it


I met my husband in SL, I was not looking for romance, I was enjoying being a social butterfly, designing clothes, learning to build and being a DJ

Then I met hubby, a sweet shy wonderful guy, who always made me smile, we hit it off right away, and continued to chat, next thing I knew I was head over heels in love with this guy, so I told him... he felt the same way...

now almost 2 years into a RL marriage and my love for him grows more each day...

No head games, no lies, no deceit, none of that crap, we are true to each other and have been from day one.

(so not everyone is bad, or does the headgames... and sorry yummy that this happened to your friend, can't say it has happened to me, I either never cared enough to find out someone's gender, or I already knew they were bending the gender)

ditto. And we're expecting a bundle of joy this coming March. RL ... not prim! Can't thank Desmond enough for introducing us. Not much different than my parents who fell in love exchanging letters while he was in the Navy. There isn't any reason it can't work as much as meeting any other way as long as both parties are honest.

Yeah sad news, unfortunately getting hurt here seems to be a ritual thing for most. And it's because I suppose so many of us ar here to try being someone else because we aren't happy with orselves, but that can hurt others if real feelings get involved.

I dont think I have ever heard a voice changer..

congrats (on both counts)

no bundles here (prim or real) as I can't have kids... but I am blessed with 2 wonderful stepsons (little guys, so I get to see them grow up)

When Caledon is a footnote in some dusty book somewhere, the happiness you two have will validate every moment of drama and lag that ever went by So cool you have a little one coming!

By the way, another two people who met in Caledon are now engaged, as of this past week.

Look up voice modulator on google. It is software you can download.


Tis issue is probably very close to me becuae of my partner. I met her more than a year ago now. I wasnt looking for anything much and she certainly wasnt what i bargained for, but we connected from the moment we met. IT took more than three oneths before anything romantic developed between us.

We have an amazing connection, onewhich has always been beyond SL. My partner is TG. She never meant to get close enough to anyone to need to tell them about that side of her. Before me she kept her RL completely out of SL. But over the course of 6 months we became close and RL was brought in.

It came to a point we were discussing RL, exchanging things like phone numbers etc. Anyway eventually she told me the truth, that atthis point she is still male physically in RL. Her heart and soul are female, but she is stuck in a male body. I cant say this was the easiest thing for me to hear, nor was it the easiest thing to accept. There are still hurdles we jump over because of this and there will be ones we will jump over for the rest of our lives.

She hid this side of herself for ore than 6 months. She didnt do it to hurt me, she did it becuase she didnt knkow how to tell me, she had gotten in over her head way to quickly and by the point she knew she could tell em she thought if she did she would lose me and she didnt want to lose me.

I dont blame her... how can I? She just wanted to feel like she does iniside and be teated the way she feels. I do that for her. She didnt tell me becuase she was scared. I heard her voice the night she told me, the fear... it was awful to be honest.

But.... here we are. A few months after her telliing me...

I have a wonderful Christmas present. She is coming to Australia to see me in March. This will be the next hurdle for us, but I am sure we will get over it without even a scrapped knee.

When we love someone we can often look beyond the physical.... I am gay.... but my partner is a woman. She is just a woman with hairy arms hehehe



I feel for your friend yummy becuase I know it hurts. But maybe she should ask herself this. Has anything really changed? For the moment their relationship is in SL, her partner is still the person she fell in love with. Espcially in here the heart and soul of a person are more important than ones physical atributes

Deception isn't cool, and weird that a person would tell a friend over their prospective'.
My EX Partner of a yr, was/could be such a b*tch sometimes, I didn't wonder if they weren't really a fem
But then I thought about it and knew I enjoyed and felt so attached to them, it probably wouldn't had mattered.

Love comes in many forms and the heart is quite a roomy place. It's more the fact that she lost a best online friend companion confident.

Even losing a best friend in rl due to a betrayal brings along a lot of hurt.

People hang out on the internet for companionship which can often feel just as real as love. But, I agree that rarely do online chemistry and real life chemistry become one in the same because those crazy pheromones get in the way in real life and are an unexplainable part of the mystery of real life chemistry.

But she shared parts of herself with someone, parts of herself she may have shared with no one else, and it becomes a relationship, even if only online.

See? And 18 years or so, when your teenager smacks your brand new car into a guard rail and calls you from the emergency room, you'll smack yourself in the forehead and wonder what ever made you do it...

Second Life, the beginning of the end of life as you knew it.

Yummy, should your friend end up needing a place to grieve, or someone to talk to, consider sending her here:

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Cherry%20Park/12/218/27

This is the Garden of Lost Love - a place specifically set up to allow you to grieve inworld. There are RL psychiatrists on staff to talk to, and they're very good at what they do.

The thing is many people come to SL for the simple reason they can be what they want to be here.

They can explore parts of their thoughs without the ramifications of trying to do it in the real world.

I've have many friends who are of the opposite gender in world as they are in the real world.

And I know things get complicated, and that it hurts to find out something is different.

But I have feelings for the person, not the avatar. I guess I'm an odd one, I treat them as they want in sl regardless of the RL.. and I try not to let them mix. Without being truthful about things.

your world and your imagination means many come here, not to hurt or even have the emotional bonds that form... but to at least live out a bit of their dreams.

Just like real life, things don't always go as planned and you find yourself attached deeply to someone. And then you have to risk hurting them to tell them the truth about things in real life, or risk being hurt when real life isn't the same as second life.

Thing is it's the person you are attracted to, sometimes it's just a persona that they play... other times it is the part of them they can't show the rest of the world without being made to feel ashamed of it.

The moment I smell a hint of involvement from a person, I toss a RL picture their waygive them enough RL details for them to know who/what they're dealing with, and set things straight. (^_^)

For some odd reason, that doesn't scare them away. (O_o)

Word.

I have. The "woman" turned out to be a Male to Female transgender in real life. He was trying to get a friend of mine to "have sex" with him, and I kept telling her "that girl isn't a girl". She didn't believe me, but you can usually tell by the way they talk.

You mean... you're NOT really a gorgeous beagle puppy in RL?!?

/me weeps.


Now, in all seriousness...

For some reason this doggie who is not looking to find love in SL finds this story quite touching. I wish you the best on your meeting, Eclectic.

Actually, If youhave your head on straight and get to know the person in every facet (voice. cam) it can work.. I have been seeing my SL partner for 2 yrs.. and in 12 days I am moving in with her.. yes she is on the side of the world.. but we DID make a strong connection.. and its thru our love, commitment, honesty and trust that made this possibe

Voice modulators are easy to pick up because they change or blank out the background noise.

However many male to female TG women dont use voice modulators nor do they need them. Take for example my partner who DJed on voice for 8 months without the use of a voice modulator before coming out. No one ever noticed anything because she has a very feminine voice.

Agreed.

When I was just getting to know my partner, I was very open with things that were very important to me in a relationship. He is quieter by nature so anything I had a question about I asked. Inquiring about a person's gender RL is rarely necessary so that is something I can see myself taking at face value as it is presented to me in SL and neglecting to ask.

I am so sorry this happened to your friend, Yummy.

Rhaorth and Desmond, thank you both very much.

Oh and I was one of those people totally not looking for a relationship is SL too. All I wanted to do was make stuff ... as a matter of fact, up to then I was still pretty much running from green dots on the map!

Yes, I've had this experience...not in SL but another virtual community. This 'person' played the part of a man, even sent pics of hirself dressed like a man (bound in the appropriate places), the works. When reality hit - because hir wife contacted me inworld and 'explained the truth' to me - which blew up into a whole different drama - I was crushed. Never have I gone through the five stages of mourning so quickly and repetitively. And, when asked why, this person responded with it was hir goal in life to turn as many straight women as s/he could through whatever means s/he could.

Lesson learned - protect yourself first and foremost. There are people in RL who use VR to do some awful things that they may or may not do in their day to day lives. Had I been told from the beginning the man wasn't a man, I would have been fine. Not sure if we would have been friends because being honest from the beginning would have made hir a different person than s/he was.

I understand the bottle of vodka - I did the same. It'll take some time to trust again - I stayed away from VR's for 7 years. And now, I am not looking for an intimate relationship (happily married in RL) just here to have some fun - escape from studying.

So your friend is gonna need friends...and time to heal. The suggestion for the in-world grieving site is a great suggestion. Hope she is okay.

Any man, regardless of how deep there voice is can make there voice sound as realistically female as they want. It just takes years and years of practice.

Most TG people who try to change there voice often go about it the wrong way though, or they have bad voice therapists, so it can sound faked. The trick is to research well first, it is harder to unlearn bad habits then it is to train yourself the right way the first time.

end of last month, my sl wife and me got married in RL. 'nuff said.