Underage

I dont want to bore you with a long story but I dont even know how to start this thread.
Lets just say that there's this girl, that has a kid av and desperatelly wants to belong to my family, she's a very sweet roumanian girl and we took her in while she found a family.
Talking to her she told me she's 16 and that she used her mother's name to register in sl. I inmediatelly told her she had to leave to the teen grid and even if I have explained over and over again about this being an adult world, she keeps answering she is a kid avi and that we (my family) doesnt do anything "bad".
Of course I cant take this responsability, I'm not 24/7 in sl and she would be exposed to material not proper for an underage.
My question is....... what should I do? I've tried to contact Lindens but they simply ignore me. I dont know where to report it, where to find support, I could simply ban her and mute her, but that's not really a solution, she needs orientation and to be taken to the teen grid. How can I make any linden listen? I've opened 2 chats with them in support and they simply dont answer, I tried inworld with the same result. Why should we deal with all this without their help?
Any suggestions?
Thank you

Mily, while I'm not expert in this matter, it sounds like you did everything in your power to help out. This "person" isn't a complete child, and I wouldn't feel any responsibility towards her further.

Ban, mute, do whatever you need to do to protect yourself in this situation. I have to wonder about someone who "desperately" wants to belong to someone...

Help / Report Abuse - Category: Age

Not sure it would do much good at this point though since they won't act on it without "reasonable doubt". The best time to report would be right after she actually admits to being underage.

If you have used an abuse report to report this, then you have done what there is to do. You used the mechanism that the Lindens provided. You can't make them do anything about it. Actually, you have no way of knowing whether they've done anything. It's their policy not to tell you what they may or may not do with your abuse reports. For all you know, they talked to her, she proved to them that she's of-age, and that's that.

At this point, she has violated the terms of service. However, you have not. No worries for you.

There's no reason that you can't befriend her, despite whether or not she might be 16 in real life. In befriending her, however, you shouldn't talk with her about anything, or do anything, even remotely sexual, because that would put you in violation of the TOS, and maybe even in real life laws based on where you live.

If you have mature content on your land, you should protect yourself and ban her. Just tell her, hey, she's a nice girl, but you can't have minors running around on your mature land, it puts you at too much risk.

On the other hand, it may be that whatever you do on Second Life just inherently involves too much mature content, and in that case maybe you should protect yourself and not associate with her. Tell her she's a nice girl, but your association with her puts you in too much risk of TOS violation and/or real life laws.

It sounds like you've done all you can do so far, so don't worry about whether the Lindens are doing their part or not. But continue to be extra careful to protect yourself from doing things that for you would violate the TOS and/or real life laws.

She may even by lying about being 16 and that could go one way or the other. (Either she's even younger than that or not underage at all). People do wierd things for whatever reason. And frankly, none of us can ever be sure if whom we are speaking to is really of legal age anyway. But if we accept someone at whatever age they say they are (if that ever becomes part of a conversation) then we take what goes with it.

My advice would be if you are not comfortable with situation, kindly tell her you cannot allow her there, and if she persists, ban her.

Your best bet all around is to report abuse, under the age category, and, if necessary ban and mute. I wish there was a better answer, but that might be the best.

You may also wish to take this to the Governance office hours. They can't address a specific case, but they might be able to give you better Linden answers. Look for 'em in Kremer from about 10-11 am SLT M-F. They have a weekend one too, but I dunno the time.

Mari

Report.

Leave a wonderful recommendation with regard to the person, but report.

You know it's the right thing to do, and yeah, it's painful.

They will be in the adult world soon enough, and permanently.

as she`s verified, prove otherwise

the can has been opend and can`t be closed again

I wouldn't be as nice and tenderhearted as most of the posters so far in this thread. Immediately after this "nice, sweet" little avatar told me she was underaged I would eject, ban and mute. No explanation. Immediately file an Abuse Report with copy/pasted chat history........and follow up that report with emails to support and in world "help".

That "sweet, nice" avatar is not sweet and nice. She/he lied to get on the adult grid. That is not sweet nor is it nice. She/he put an innocent caring person at personal risk (both virtual risk of loosing their account and personal risk of real life legal action being taken against them)...........that is in no way sweet and nice.

Sorry, that's the way I feel. If more people treat the underagers that way the fewer there will be on the grid. Shun the imposters. Make them feel unwelcome......they are not welcome here. Don't be so kind with "I'm sorry's" or "You understand, I don't want to do this". Even if this sweet, nice avatar is of legal age........she/he told you they were not. And if you interact with someone who has told you they were underage you are still at risk legally with both LL and real world laws.

I'm gonna go against the flow here... you've tried to explain this to her, you've AR'd (I assume) and now, you can choose to do anything, my suggestion is to keep doing what you've been doing, be a friend, mentor and provide an environment where she doesn't need to be exposed to any "adult" content...

or you could do what the ban/eject/mute crowd suggests, but personally I think that's callous, raises more risk of her being stuck with less savory people, and doesn't do anything more to protect you than the AR already did

for all I know her local laws consider her an adult even if SL doesn't.

That makes no difference at all legally. The people interacting with her and the country they reside in hold the trump card. Well intentioned mentering only puts you deeper in jeopardy with any legal system. A cry of "I was just trying to help" if that underaged teenager gets in trouble in real life with another "unscrupulous" person will not help you one bit in a real legal battle.........at best you would be considered and "enabler" and you could be named as an accomplice. LL cannot take that chance.........and I don't think many residents would be willing either. Well, maybe some will but not me.

I'm with Void on this .....
there is no easy answer here, but it seems she's better off with you and your family than elsewhere. Keep trying to convince her that she's better of in the teen grid. Do you think she would be?

I would, but then I consult my ethics first, and then the law, not the safest route, but it makes me happy.

but seriously, after an AR, there is nothing you can do to prevent a person being in, and for all you know, this person could BE the mother they claim to have borrowed ID from, and simply RP'ing being a child... eject/ban/mute isn't going to solve anything as they are still in the game... better I think to be socially responsible, having done what you can to appease both the law and your ethics, and make the best of situation that's available.

although I will admit to holding an unpopular view of adulthood, namely having entered puberty. it may not be the legal definition (some exceptions abound), but certainly nature is agreeable. that and the fact that I don't hold myself responsible to inflict my ethics on others, means that if I happen to meet a teen on the grid, I treat them by how they act, if they endager others or themselves, I'll do what I can to prevent it... until then, not even an AR. obviously not everyone will agree.

EDIT cause I type slow
Chas brings up an interesting point... the teen grid... is a joke, an opinion which I've formed by talking to former resident of it.

It seems like she met the right one, try to explain her that the main grid might not be the right place for her. And point her some advantages of the teen grid for her. Whatever you do don't leave her alone as she would endup meeting with other kind of people who might not have the same "is it right" concept as you and take advantage of her. Whatever you do keep in touch with her in my opinion

is this an american thing, it's not an issue, if your respectful and not saying anything remotely sexual to her, then it's not a problem for anyone. paranoid posters or what?

ok yes keep suggesting the Teen Grid, but don't they have sex on the Teen Grid at all? I think the worst thing would be to ban and mute her, she's probably only looking for company, if you do this imagine if she lands up with someone not so sensible to look after her welfare.

jesus people what would you do to a 16 year old in real life asking for help?

unless you plan to have cypersex with this girl or show her pornography or whatnot, who really cares if shes 16? shes already living in the armpit of europe, let her have some joy!

maybe she's an undercover cop. i do watch too much tv

more succinct than I put it, thank you.

An American thing? Maybe so. Only because in America people get in REAL legal trouble and go to REAL jails (or spend REAL fortunes defending themselves then maybe go to a REAL jail anyway...) over things less than this. Paranoia? A dysfunctional judiciary has made it far too risky for people to do the morally correct thing. Staying away is more self-defense than paranoia. Lives are ruined when innocent Americans try to 'do the right thing'... you've heard the adage 'no good deed goes unpunished'? It's NOT referring to punishment by fate or bad luck, and it's no joke.




In America if a 16YO Femme asks an adult male for help, he helps her only at EXTREME legal risk to himself. Sad. Reality.

Even her biological father has little-to-no defense if she starts fabricating stories convincingly. Happens too often.

I love this quote....

"An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law"

Since she has actually told you she is under 18, then you should raise an AR Caegory "age". Doing this keeps you within the TOS. After that it is LL responsibility.

Um.... either bury the body deep or learn the Officer's name?

Yep and as well as foisting the blame right back onto LL if the parent finds out and decides to sue. We don't have the right tools to handle this ourselves and the best we can do is AR, ban and mute.

Sweep it under the carpet. Pretend it never happend and you never met her.

Doing nothing also keeps you within the TOS,