Is this being faithfull in SL

I have been away for a while and a guy I was seeing in SL before I left said that he would be faithfull to me while I was away but that he wouldn't make any promises for his alt. I was in a hurry at the time so I didnt discuss it but is this normal for sl and what do you think I should have done.

By the way for those of you from the forum who have been asking Annabel for dates in SL and getting no response I am using another alt in SL because people might know too much about Annabel from the forums. Someone warned me that this would be a good thing to do and they were right because Annabel got banned from Sweethearts probably for saying that the men there were not very intresting.

In my view its a cop out an alt is still you, your the one controlling it. So if alt A says I love you and ill be faithful to you then gets another Alt and goes out plays about maybe even finds another how can that be classed as being faithful?
Why make promises you cant or dont want to keep?

oh god

I don't agree. If I know my partner/pet/whatever has an alt and all I've asked for is a committment from him/her, then I feel the alt is free to go and act independently. This is virtual, remember.

OT, I'm reminded of the old line, "I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now" when it comes to alts.

That was my first reaction too but then I thought about what I and lots of other people do in SL which is to have relationships while still having rl relationships and it seemed to me a bit silly that I could accept a guy having two relationships as long as one was real and one was virtual but not that he should have two SL relationships. Do you see what I mean.

I see what you mean Annabel but then I dont feel one should have a relationship on here if they have one in RL. Call me old fashioned. If your comfortable with it fine that is all that matters

You hit the nail on the head right here. It all depends on what YOUR commitment to your SL relationship is. If it's only a virtual relationship and "RL is RL, SL is SL" then I don't see how you can fault him.

As long as neither L$ nor property are involved, I don't think there's any such thing as 'trust' within SL relationships unless they make the jump to RL. I've always been my own person and just taken everything at face value and never got in any entanglements. That's been a recipe for SL happiness for me for two and a half years.

I like that he's open about it. How many wouldn't just go ahead with an alt without telling.

He tells you what he would like to do, and it's up to you to accept it or not. To your question, if this is beeing faithful in SL, it depends upon the couple and the situations.

You will probably get a lot of "No" answers where people point to the fact that they and their SL partner don't do it.

And also a lot of "Yes" answers where people tell you that's just what happened to them, just that the bastard/bitch didn't have the nerve to tell them up front.

And those who say they have an open relationship with their avatars, without the need of making alts.

There's no absolute answers IMHO.

It all depends on HOW the two of you (IN RL) played the relationship.

Scenario 1:

If you both are undergoing this relationship as a "roleplay" or just "fun", nothing dead serious so to say, then he's free to use the alt and play along with others.


Scenario 2:

However, if you both as RL persons feel serious to eachother (love), and visualize it through SL (as a starter, maybe distances for rl meetups are to far), then he's way off in lines of being actually faithfull to you. Cos if it's RL love, then it doesn't matter if your are presenting yourself as avatar x or avatar y, you as RL person keep the feeling towards the other RL person, who uses avatar z. Ask yourself this... "should i do this behavior (cheating) in RL too? Would i accept this if he did? Does it make a difference if it would be in a 3d representation, with true human feelings? " IT should be: no, no, no if it is true affection to the person controlling the avatar(s). So, there is no difference between SL and RL in terms of feelings. They are authentic, genuine, and therefor, SL cheating, is the same harm as RL cheating, feeling wise.

SL fun only

I call Shenanigans. You aren't banned at Sweethearts.


Friday troll is friday.

Ask Dilbert. He ejected me from the Sweethearts singles group too.

I don't need to ask Dilbert. I just went there and looked. Your name is not on the banned list.

So I have been reinstated. Maybe since I posted that I had been. Doesnt really matter. Annabel doesnt need to go there.

On the whole...I agree with Wind on this topic. I can understand many of the reasons that people would enter into phantom relationships in virtual world......but, by the same token, I AM in a RL relationship......and I'm ALONE most of the time because he works away from home......and I have never felt any kind of need to role play a romance in SL. It doesn't make any sense.

But......the key line here is ROLE PLAY. I think the relationship issue gets blurry because the people behind the avatars have different reasons for getting involved on a romantic level. Some, are being themselves, and injecting real emotion and become very connected to their partner.......others are role playing the entire scenerio and are not taking it in the least bit seriously. Problem is, if that's NOT made clear from the get go......there's going to be a lot of confusion and even more virtual infidelity.

His alt? His alt, is STILL the same dude! So....you have to decide for yourself, are YOU in this to role play? Or, are you actually developing some kind of real affection for this person as a result of your virtual fling? Once you know exactly what it is YOU want out of it.......then you'll be able to answer your own question here.

Every two weeks you come and start a thread about relationships. Two weeks ago you were still trying to find a nice guy, now that (apparently) you have found one you are already involved to the point where infidelity rears its suspicious head.

Ah well, have fun. I'm still looking for my boots tho.

Well I just checked and she has only ever started three threads (Including this one), so I don't know how that translates to "every 2 weeks".

I agree with Moo. It has taken me sometime in Sl to understand this very thing. And I am still learning from others.

Another person has said....(paraphrased) you must decide for yourself what you want. I think this is a key point. Decide what you want.....then see which scenario the other avatar/person wants from the relationship.

Misunderstandings are very common in SL and actually in RL. Communication is very important and yes, i am still learning that.

Thanks for the question Annabel

Is there a schedule that I am supposed to follow. I have noticed that many of the people on the forums seem to spend lots of time here but I have a real life that only gets boring occasionally and when it does I try to spend time in sl not quarreling here about whether ladyboy should be a PG word or not. I come to the forums to ask questions as they happen to me. Do you want me to ask another question in a week or maybe three weeks if every two weeks is annoying to you.

Well at least it seems that Talon is pleased I asked the question.

Whether it's RL or SL, the best relationships are founded on mutual respect and honesty.

It's very important to perceive the relationship the same way and desire the same things. All parties involved must set and agree to the ground rules, and that is all. Everything else is personal preference and irrelevant.

There is no global right or wrong.

I think you ought to have an affair with his alt.

I hear his alt is a homosexual.

I might be for all I know.