Men in Drag

I was just noting in another thread how men really tend to miscalculate or over-compensate when they are women (or are "in drag" in sl. They say the most outrageous thngs when making love (I have listened to them in free sex sims) which women simply dont say - "Split me with your shaft of lightning" is not a phrase that comes immediately to my mind when I actually have sex with a man in real or sl.
They dress in wildly flamboyant clothes and often have legs that are simply impossible to have on a planet with gravity.
I wonder if real women (or at least, accurate MiD.s) have advice for men who are women in sl. My advice is wear black slacks, jeans and a clean shirt. Concentrate on your hair - Cut it short and clean.
Mind you, I do admit that women are not immune to bad taste and self-delusions about their appearance - these are also reflected in avis in the sl world. Is there something in the air that makes "fashion sense" fly off the screen when we log on to sl?

"Split me with your shaft of lightning" ??!!

ROFLMAO!!!!


ok seriously(i had to go pee after reading that ).

it's the fantasy aspect i believe. in SL, you can be whatever you chose to be. i have seen those avs you speak of(i was one until i learned how to use the appearance feature), and i put it down to being new.

advice: sometimes less is more, just because the sliders go up to 100, doesn't mean you have to.

Well, surely part of the problem has to do with WHY men . . . or a lot of men . . . choose to use female avs? It's about sex, right?

And because men are mostly morons who are FAR more interested in what lies between the second and sixth ribs than in what women keep between their ears, they naturally assume that a WOMAN thinks the same way. So they produce avs with enormous hooters, legs that end somewhere under the armpits, and clothes that look as though they were designed for tinies. They are incapable, in other words, of the imaginative leap required to think the way a woman thinks: they create a fantasy woman who reflects male misconceptions and attitudes instead.

Frankly, I don't think much can be done about this, short of some pretty serious messing around with the chemistry of the male gonads and brain. (Note that I resist the temptation to suggest that both of these are, in fact, the same organ. I try to be fair.)

ETA: Sorry, did I say that "men are mostly morons"? Slip of the tongue. When I get a chance, I'll come back and edit this post to fix that. Honest . . .

*laughs* Why does this bother you?

Consider this: if you knew a man who was playing cross-gender and did not "miscalculate or over-compensate", would you know that they were male? I've known a couple of such players, and I had no clue. Yes, there are a lot of outrageous cross-gender players in SL. But ... I think there are also a lot of more subtle ones, that don't stand out.

Why should anyone feel compelled to adhere to RL norms? I always assume that people's avies look the way the player wants them to look, and don't offer advice unless we get into a conversation or shopping expedition where they make it clear they're considering changes.

I say, if that's the rounded ass, skinny longlegs, bright red micromini and big hair that a male player wants to see in front of him when he's walking, so be it!
.

Before sounding off about this why don't you see if you can find some statistics that might contradict a claim that females in the real world account for 95% of all cosmetic surgery, attempting to give themselves all the characteristics that you have condemned men for abrogating in sl . . .

Pep ( . . when they don't have to pay for it!)

Yeah, actually, I agree. In fact, there have been a few "women" I knew who caught me completely by surprise when they "came out." And I actually find the High Camp of some of the more obvious gender-crossers pretty entertaining.

I also agree that in SL you SHOULD be able to look like whatever you want to. I've always thought it sort of a failing of mine that I don't take more liberties with my appearance. It's my hang up, entirely: I want an avi that conforms to my idea of what I think is attractive in an RL context. Part of me wishes I could break from this and be, I don't know, a hippo or floating orb, or something. But it just doesn't work for me.

Vain, vain, vain . . .

Ahhhh . . . do I get to rant for a bit about the cultural assumptions imposed by a male-dominated society that MAKE women think that they need bigger boobs and tighter tummies? I'd be HAPPY to talk about the whole "body image" thing for a few hundred posts or so . . .

Many guys into the female avatars of the spicey variety are just playing with their dolls. Their doll (avatar) is not them per se. Its their toy that will do whatever they want it to do. The ultimate fantasy for a lot of guys. And umm! with real women you actually have to talk to them about feelings and stuff, and even then you don't always get lucky

Many male builders also have female avatars. Gets boring looking at a dude doll all day. Whip out the doll and cheer ones self up. Babeh !!! I luv u, ur so preeeetty, muuuwwwwaaahhhh

Disclainer: I haz a dude doll with a female goule skin and a ton of bling on. I'm so waaay pretty it hurts But I have to keep my full-cover top and bottom on at all times. I'm one freaky creature to look at if I don't.

Your first incorrect assertion.

Pep (Or maybe they do actually think, but have problems communicating that they do. )

PS And it comes out as "He made me do it!"

PPS We'll keep trying though.

See, I just don't feel the same in reverse. I have never felt like, "Hey, I know what would cheer me up. A Ken doll! And I'll put him in a loin cloth!"

I guess I don't get it.

To answer the OP, I think I'd rather leave them flailing. The only part I dislike about real life (especially hetero) men playing female avatars is the fact that they mislead and perpetuate too many about 'bad' cliched female behavior. That 'drama queen' avatar that leads a man to say snarky things about women, in SL or in the forums, might actually be a real life male, playing with people's heads.

Part of the frustration of trying to have a serious convo about this is that there IS no way to really know who is who online. I know who I am in real life - anyone else, could very well be true or a "brilliant disguise" as Springsteen might put it.

I'd rather the really obvious men-as-women stayed that way, I guess. But I disagree with you that they all need to look like Isabella Rossellini to be believable. It's more about *behavior* than anything, I think.

The last I heard men made up 40%. I know where I live, a LOT of men do botox and lipo.

Do you live in San Francisco?

Pep (Can't seriously quarrel with someone who quotes Springsteen song titles in posts. )

Not too bad a guess.



Why, are you a Springsteen fan too?

(He's as legitimate a poet as most.)

There are pockets of population which buck the trend.
Early era fan. And I don't mean his rediscovery of the Boring American Folk Song.

Pep (He signed off as far as I am concerned with "57 Channels and Nothin' On"

A downturn for me as well, although "Queen of the Supermarket" is pretty darned good.

thankfully he's not an anglophile, or there'd be a plethora of even worse.

(it appears Ritchie Blackmore has that end covered already...)

what album is that from, my musical interest in The Boss stopped pretty much at the born in the usa album, and almost died completely when i saw the ticket prices for the concert in frankfurt last month.

Agreed!
Is he still alive?

Pep (At least Ozzie has just descended to the level of incestuous power ballads. )

He's still the best money for value performer I've ever seen.

Pep (He got fined for over-running at Wembley last time he played there. )

if you call that living...



i'd best not say anything about Ozzy... it appears he's STILL followed by flocks of rabid bats...

i kind of draw the line at 250 us$ for a back in last row ticket.

You guys don't fool me. This is just another thinly disguised "Banline" thread. Very clever, Jiggster.

One question. Why is it that RL women who choose an exaggerated, or over the top avatar "delusional"? Rather judgemental, dontcha think? Using that logic, choosing to be ...say, a Neko, could be considered "delusional", couldn't it?

Its a guy thing. Along with cars, cigars, beer and footy

And yes I've met quite a few guys who have hunky Ken dolls in loincloths, less even, and big boots. They seem to really enjoy themselves as well.

Gotta love SL. /me grins

Hey, I'm a guy, and I'm not cheered up by frankenbarbies either. On the other hand, I have known female artists (they can't ALL have been perfectionist transvestites) with their private (or not-so-private) portfolios of beefcake. People are different from each other, and we don't all "feel the same in reverse", no matter which gear is reversed.

Isn't that really all that matters?