Taking sl too seriously

I don't think this is an issue of whether or not SL is a game. I think this is the issue of certain people in SL (or WoW, or any other online interactivity) who may have some sort of psychological problems in their real lives.

Stalking, delusional behaviors and all the rest of the dramas that can be pulled from the "Bag o' Dysfunctions" aren't just part of the online world. They're obviously more frequent in the real world. When they cross over to SL, odds are they're contributed by people who usually behave this way in real life.

At the worst-case least in SL, you can always turn the computer off when they get out of hand.

SL is not a game but a playing field for you to play your own choice of game - it could be building, buying and selling, making romantic conquests or whatever.

For some people their chosen game might be stalking or harassing others, or more conventional forms of griefing like filling sandboxes with annoying prim litter.

I am not condoning griefing, I think griefers should be dealt with, but I am saying that they are not mentally ill, they are just playing their game which is to annoy or disrupt others.

I've come across so many people that seem to go to SL because they lack RL social skills and feel safer with the comforts afforded an anonymous avatar that can build anything they can think of or pay someone else to do it with money that would usually go to child support or groceries.

Then there's people like me and most of my friends that dig SL because of the creative and technical possibilities. About 2/3 of my friends dont really share much RL information about themselves and I'm fine with that. We for the most part keep it to building, scripting and movie/music reviews.

I'm almost positive a couple of my friends are compulsive liars. However, that doesn't really matter when we keep everythign in context with SL...since SL is essentially an elaborate lie we tell ourselves and everyone else every time we log on!

I see it more as an application for developing and creating rather than a game. A game always has an ending and usually a story line to follow through. Even the Sim's games have objectives. In SL there is only the story that you create, No objectives, only the tasks you set yourself. There is no ending, you keep going, improving and learning as you do. All these points apply when using any application such as photoshop or a movie maker software, they're all tools to create something unique.

For me SL is mainly a big graphic chatbox, where I also can do some artistic things.... Does that me lack RL social skills? I don't think so, because without that kind of skills I would not be able to my RL job (I do the large accounts for a Dutch company).

I think people should be careful with pushing "many people" in to a corner and mark them.

Morwen.

When I'm here in SL I feel I'm participating in a great dynamic work of art. I'm quite a work of art myself too (boast, boast!!!)LOL

I'm here merely to entertain myself. And Mandy, evidently. The day I take SL too seriously is the day I uninstall it, disconnect the modem and put my computer out on the curb.

Why do I sometimes feel like a grown man playing with a doll in a giant dolls house? :-0

Don't be silly, where are we going to find a grown man at this time of night?



I'm strictly a tourist .. and a shopper!

Well, that is to say, Bilbo is Morgaine's fiance(RL) where we originally met on another forum 9 years ago.
My alt is the tourist and shopper!

As for social skills, I admit I have always been rather shy, but in the 9 months I've been living at my very own Bagg End I've learned to socialise more.

As for integrity, neither of my characters lie or deceive. If it transpires that the true gender of my female alt really matters to my correspondent (which I am going to tempt fate and say has not happened yet), then that will be the end of that alliance. She was after all, created to explore feelings, attitudes and visual pleasure; never to trick or mislead. Aleister sums her up perfectly in another thread.

Let's just say we entertain each other.

At the end of the day SL is amusing and fun to me, but when it's time to log I'll do so since my obligations in RL are much more important. One positive thing though, I did make some great friends here....I guess that's still one of the main reasons I'm here. Just my 2$L...

Mandy C

Ladies and Gentlemen: Stop talking about it and just play the game. See where the dice falls.

I think when it comes to relationships, it's hard not to take people seriously. I have a small group of friends in second life that I have had for about 3 years now. They know a lot about my real life and I know a lot about theirs. If I found out one of them was lying about who they were in real life I would be really shocked. We work together on projects, we're involved in each other's sl businesses and lately we voice chat a lot which makes our friendships even more "real".

I tend not to want to be around people who are just in sl to roleplay. I don't really understand the concept of a fake friendships or fake romantic relationships (which for me is a no-no in SL) at all. "Pretending" hasn't held my interest since I was a kid and the concept of roleplaying baffles me.

It is absolutely that unless you decide you want to learn how to script, build or use sl as a creative outlet (which is what I do.) Meeting friends along the way has just been a bonus.

Some of us ... have to make do with the forum until they get home!


Hi Ingrid, I don't know if your comment is in response to my recent post but am happy to respond.

There is nothing fake in my alt's friendship. She has three SL friends who are happy to stay with the idea we are the avatars. Many, many people here even playing true-to-self avatars have a strict rule of nothing RL passing into SL. My alt shares details such as timezone and location for convenience and some level of synchronising.

My alt does not have relationships. She never looked for one and when one unfortunate individual became besotted with her I let them down gently and beat a hasty retreat.

"Pretending" has always in my view been one of the basic parts of childhood and is the core of fantasy, isn't it? Do you never, ever fantasize? I'm not being judgemental. You may have such a wonderful true existence you have no need for it.
Some of us however find release and relaxation and even satisfaction through it.
Look at the avatars around you. Ignore the nekos, the vampires, the furries, the dragons, the robots. Just look at the humans. Hair colour, bust size, height, facial features ... Do you think they are all accurate? Are they not even in this small way .. pretending?

Addition: Ingrid, if I went out on a tangent there in response to your use of "pretending" I am truly sorry. I am rather protective of my alt.

I can honestly say my avi looks like me (I tried hard enough to make it so) and as for pretending, sure I engage in RP now and then and have fun doing so but as soon as I get out of the RP sim I'm back at myself again. I engage ppl the way I do in RL and yes, I to give some slight info about my location or timezone but thats it basically. Only a handfull of ppl know more about me but they never betrayed my trust.

Mandy C

What - dont do that I havent had a chance to go crazy stalker on you yet!

Run Brenda, run!

Mandy C

/me goes weak at knees (which with my feet is an extremely precarious condition)

Role Play does seem to be one of the main activities for most in SL. I think for me as a noob here (about 4 weeks old) it can take a bit of adjusting in the way you interact with avatars. Very quickly I learn't that many of the female avs we're in fact males in RL, and everyone has there own different reasons for being in-world.

As for myself I'm crap at role play, its not really my kind of thing, though I really dig what others do in SL, its like watching an actor in a play sometimes. I too straight and unable to lie to people, hence I can't role play lol.

My role in SL tends to be more of a laid back character that roams around looking for cool events and a good party, a great way to mingle with like minded people. I tend to stay clear of places that make me feel uncomfortable, just because I wouldn't be able to communicate on the same level as the characters that hang out at these places. My avatar reflects my true personality though I do keep my RL out of SL.

yeah what a shitty remark bilbo.

Thank you, my hobbit friend!

Edit: Time to go home, eat and log in....*waves*

Mandy C

/me runs from Colette and smack into Mandy, who has cleverly hidden the exit signs......


As far as the RP/fantasy thing goes, my being in SL is Roleplaying of a sort in the sense my avatar may resemble me,I even use my real first name, but she still isn't me. She skydives, flys a helicopter, teleports from place to place, owns lots of shoes (Ok that part is real) and does some other things she doesn't do in RL She can change clothes at the drop of a hat (In theory) and can alter her body on a whim. SO that's all fantasy as far as I am concerned. But her basic personality is the same as mine, perhaps slightly less inhibited. I haven't done any SL roleplaying yet , but have been looking into some again in the spirit of doing things not possible or practical in RL. My friends inworld know varying things about my real Life, some know me as intimately as any RL friend, some only the very basic details. The same is the converse. I make friendships based on inworld criteria, for they stay inworld. However much or little RL info they want to divulge is fine by me, these friendships stay in SL,they will not lead to any RL contact. Not to say I don't think about some of my closer SL friends when not on line, of course I do. It is true we are all real people behind the avatars. But it's possible to seperate the two, and fairly easy, at least for me.

Which explains why even with my loopy online schedule she still hasnt dumped me

Im going to crazy stalker school now, back later.

Yes. I too must admit to being pleasently affected by meeting Mandy face to face.