Taking sl too seriously

Many a true word ...

I can see why some here have slightly strayed from the OP and 'deja viewed' the old chestnut 'is SL a game?'. It's been done to death and beyond in other threads. The fact remains some people have the emotional or merely conscious detachment to take SL at face value. They can role play/create/whatever and keep SL very separate from RL.

Others for varying reasons take it very personally and very deeply and I don't mean this in a negative way. It's the nature of this thing SL. It's mostly what you want it to be, whether your 10 minute diversion whilst waiting for the pizza to cook or your channel for finding a companion. It defies category and it's this clash of concepts that I think has brought the OPs situation up. Game/notagame, we're not talking about a pack of cards. And whatever that answer would be doesn't help the OP issue.

Others have already pointed out the need to treat the affected companion as a real person, not just a player, so I have nothing further to add ... except oops! It seems to come up a lot in SL. SL can be a very good RL simulator. A lot of players don't seem to grasp this.

There are quite allot of sad people in SL. SL is their entire lives, they have little or no other social interatction and thus treat everything in SL as they would in their real lives. Just like in real life you can meet a perfectly nice lady and 24 hours later you discover she is a bunny boiler. So for you, things starrted out as a but of pixelated fun in an online game, for her, it sounds likes she was staring a full blown real relationship. I'm not sure if I have any constructive advice other than...run away my friend...run away!

Only you can say for sure what SL is to you, and what you want out of it. That's why it is important to convey this to people you become personally involved with. The OP's situation is one of someone who is obviuosly lonely, perhaps unstable. Even in RL, to have someone you just met following you about and questioning your activity is frightening. I say introduce her to Jumpman.

No it doesn't conform to to game rules. If anything it's a massive sandbox expansion ... there is no set progression curve, no set rewards from SL itself etc and no HAVE TO do things other than the TOS and general courtesy.

It is - I agree - IRC with the whistles and bells. For me, anyway, it's mainly about the chat.

PS to the OP I suggest my usual answer of penguin. Bore her away!

Prior to the internet, assuming this lady is old enough, she was probably a street stalker... this type of behaviour is usually due to a lack of self esteem, confidence and or a bad rl experience (upbringing or relationship). Clearly Jealousy is a cancer, it's self perpetuating and cannot for the most part, be cured.

To love someone truly, you have to allow vulnerability to your emotions to exist. If that trust in a parent or partner is abused or rejected, the cycle can begin of mistrusting any future relationship.

Although the posters experience was horrific, can anyone spare a thought for the Lady in question? Whilst none of us (I assume lol) are paid medical/social workers, we are a society/community. There is a self help group in SL which is open to anyone. Perhaps you could drop her a link, in the kindest possible way, or maybe, if she has a close friend, drop it to them?

SL is a game (Virtual world, community or whatever you wish to call it)... but behind the keyboard there are people with real emotions and feelings. Do you think people shut down emotions and feelings because it is communication through a computer? Well, I know one person for sure who doesn't... me!

Morwen.

Those people need big bright neon oarnge dunce caps.

Really.

Glow in the dark even

Consider the fact that even if SL is not a Game ..

It doesnt mean people dont take it too seriously, or that everyone behaves in rational ways towards the people that they meet.

I learned a long time ago that falling in love in SL is a stupid idea. You arn't in love with a person, you are in love with the character that person has created in SL. If you meet in rl and then fall in love thats different. But deciding you are in love based on what you have expeirenced with this person in SL is just crazy. I knew a guy who met a woman in SL who got obsessed over him. She drove out to meet him at his place and he found out that she was the craziest psycho in the whole world! She was disgusting and weird, and he didn't want to see her again but she kept going back, she ended up taking his things, and even tried to burn his place because he wanted her to leave. Finally he had to move to the other side of the country to get away from her. And then she actually tried to follow him! She went to a convention he was going to attend to look for him. But he was sick that day, so she just met some stranger there and slept with him. How do i know all this stuff? She told me O.O along with many other disturbing things. I'm just happy its over now and she didn't end up getting married to his best friend like she planned

so take my advice! NEVER FALL IN LOVE IN SL!!! If you do decide to have a relationship in SL, make sure its clear to your partner that its just in SL and don't get your real feelings involved.

In another online place I knew this couple. They had an online relationship,

His online ex was crazy like this. She even called his RL grandmother and told her she was pregnant with his baby.

Which was weird by iteself -

Especially considering they had never actually met in real life.



His Grandma didnt know that of course and had quite a scare.

Only... falling in love is not a decision or an idea. It just happens... no matter it is RL or in SL.

Consequences of a SL love-affair to a RL relation is something else and another discusion (and may vary from person to person)... But falling in love just happens!

Morwen.

There's a conscious difference between falling in love with an avatar and falling in love with the person who plays the avatar. I am not in love with the pixels, but the personality, it is the same when we are outside of Second Life, as inside. We've moved our relationship beyond just this game, and into a more real realm. Many people do that, and it is not a "stupid" idea to fall in love in Second Life.

nope but falling in love or just lust with a phsycho stalker is always a bad idea,

Online or off.

There are a vast majority of unstable people alive and well.

When you're meeting people online, it is more likely you will run into these types of people--it is more difficult for you to spot and label them up front, therefore, they thrive in these environments. Online it is easier to hide certain social characteristics that would otherwise be initially obvious (red flags).

I think this should be a learning experience for us all. Be very wary of who you invite into your "circle of trust."

Oops, I think we've scared off the OP ... what shall we talk about now?

well you can always dress up as a Hobbit and...... Oh Hi bilbo! Thought you had lost your connection, haven't 'seen' you on the forums for what.................. 20 minutes? lol.. j/k

Oops! did I forget to say;

I'm baa-aack!!

LOL. Forum wasn't the problem .. it was my home fix of in-world

landbots?

yeah broken has it sussed!

Ah, cookies anyone??

/me offers round plate of chocolate chip

Thanks. I'll have one

how about lovebots?

a bot who tries to date other avs and then goes crazy stalker on them.

I knew a couple where BOTH were crazy.

The woman deciding the relationship was harming her RL marriage stops logging in for a while.

The man FAKES a suicide attempt and has his daughter (supposedly) email his phone number at the hospital.

He fakes a hospital bed conversation, which goes good until the dog barks..

She plans on dumping him, but doesnt.

A couple weeks later she starts avoiding him again. She gets a cell phone message that he is on his way.

To her RL house, he claims he wants to talk to her RL husband.

She manages to convince him not to come, but after that continues to date him ...

The mans RL wife had even told the woman in the story to back off ..

just Insane.

Game theory dictates that other protagonists (NPCs or real) are trying to hamper your objective. In SL there are no objectives and no one trying to hamper you (save the occasional idiot griefer).

Ergo, SL is not a game.