The Effect of SL on RL

Yet it doesn't change the fact that we were discussing online dating.

Oryx's, erruth's, mine, and your comments were directly to online to RL dating until you decided to move the goal posts.

I think much more was being developed in the conversation--online was the key word...not dating. We branched off into suffering. Society. Futuristic. Lying.

You know...I'm really sorry for the times I've come across as a prick. I really mean it. I will try my best to remain diplomatic--no matter how...nevermind.

Oh, so I cant retort to another posters comment...I have to strictly stay on topic? Ahh...the buttons you love to push Colette.

Second Life:

Marriages, Partnerships and Dating are another word for "Just Temporary reunions."

The best game to compare this to is Musical Chairs.

The subject, according to the thread title, is considerably broader than Online Dating...although so far, that's all we've talked about.\\

I do find that SL affects my RL in subtle, yet sometimes disturbing ways. For example, I find myself standing, sitting, and walking more like my avatar these days. And when I go shopping, I look for clothes that are a little bit more like something she would wear.

For the most part, I feel good about this. After all, my av is better looking than I am...why shouldn't I try to emulate her in RL? She's more outgoing, too, another characteristic that's not a bad example to my RL self.

But sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm spending too much time in SL...the subject of a previous thread.

And then there's the whole cause/effect thing, and the possibility of a loop in the logic. My avatar can be considered an expression of myself...the "me" I really want to be, rather than the me I'm saddled with in RL. In emulating her, then, I'm merely expressing characteristics that were a part of myself all along, perhaps just hidden deeper down.

Mike, I haven't even bothered trying to push your buttons. You can retort all you want. But you are shoving the BS thick now.

You know as well as I do we were discussing Online to RL dating. And you know thats why you got the geeks dating comment when you waxed poetic about virtual worlds.

You can also change the subject when you want.

Its just annoying when you change it after the fact to try and make yourself look good when someone called you on something.

More specifically the subject of the exchange in which the give and take was - was directly related to Online to RL dating.

Which is a subset of the OP's topic.

All very true. I don't see anyone debating what you've just said.

I think the confusion is that I'm stating that to begin a relationship online is foolish...because so many lies can already be in place...lies which are all extremely crucial (superficial or not) to the genesis of a relationship. Lies that need not apply to real world interactions. Lies that most certainly do hurt many people all the time. At least when you meet someone face to face...you can look in their eyes and use your gut instinct...believe me, that is very useful, and a lovely little tool nature gave us.

Can you all see what I'm saying...and have always been saying?

Why do nearly all of you find it hard to agree with that?

well its just really confusing for all of us when we are discussing the OPs topic and you come in and start talking about something completely different that doesnt have any relation to what everyone else is discussing. and then condescending us for not being able to read your mind while you make cryptic remarks. im mean, come on, spit it out

I don't see anything wrong with considering a virtual world a NEW society, not necessarily a "suffering current society" or diseased current society. We are on the cusp on this new virtual society, so it's natural that we'd have these questions. We can't quite reconcile the new with the old, just as I'm sure the Industrial Revolutionists couldn't quite reconcile the new way of life with the old Agrarian societies.

So why naysay a new culture or society as it's a-borning? I think the Romans tried it with the Christians and eventually the Christians overwhelmed the Romans. I'm sure that at the time, the Romans hated every minute of it and considered it to be the end of civilization. Now we look back at them and think "oh how quaint." Society is not a static thing.

I have no doubt the Immersive Computerized Tronlike World you are an advocate for is coming, probably not as quickly as you would like, but hopefully long enough so I won't see it. I have no desire to be plugged in and turned on .

As others have said, in simple terms, if your RL is ruinesd by SL or any online activity, or any RL hobby for that manner, then it probably was not that strong to begin with.

Oh my goodness...the last part of what you said mixed with the first part...and we've got a passive-aggressive saber dance...don't insult me.

Ok...yes...no harm no foul.

Please don't think I come here and waste my time on forums to impress people. That would be the polar opposite to who I am.

I didn't radically change the subject people...it was a path it took by natural flow. Sheesh...you guys are so dramatic.

If I'm not mistaken, the OP's topic header is: The Effect of SL on RL

i disagree with this statement. i dont think appearances are crucial in virtual worlds to the genesis of a relationship.

Well, we got scolded at for being funny all the time...

qft. when i joined SL it was for the sole reason of seeing if i could run a virtual buisness, and to carry some of that over into RL. Never did i think i would meet the people i did and grow to care and love them as much as i do my RL family. yes some do join for the reasons stated above. but not all, and lets keep in mind many here express their opinions based on their own experiences.


now where's my pie?

Umm...once again. Brick.

I said the opposite my man.

I don't disagree with you. In fact I agreed that those lies are easier to tell online. I don't think they are the most damaging of lies that can be told in a relationship - that's all I said, and we apparently agree on that.

The thing is, every relationship has a beginning point where it could go a million different ways, many of them bad. Online, you don't have that immediate physical attraction like you do in RL when you see a beautiful woman from across the room. The attraction is much more mental. You are drawn to the way she communicates with you - what she says, how she says it, etc.

Hmm. I'm usually much better at stating my opinion here, but I'm failing. I guess I'm saying that I disagree that it is foolish to enter into an online relationship because of the reasons you gave. Maybe I'm an optomist. I think if you find yourself developing feelings for someone and they for you, then you should explore those feelings and let the relationship bloom. If it fails, at least you won't spend your life wondering "what if". Sometimes the odds of failure compared to the potential gain justify the risk, even if its a longshot.

EDIT: BTW, Michael, I'm actually interested in discussing the fully immersive world you were talking about. To be fair, the subject really was online relationships, so you can't get too upset about people calling you on that, but the direction you took it is pretty interesting and relevant to the topic. I'm ignorant on the subject, but it sounds like a fascinating concept.

You changed the subject of your posts in order to get out of being shown up.

When the lying during online dating to RL is bad for the species stuff wasn't going your way you decided to move onto the Virtual worlds are bigger than all of us spiel.

Me seeing it for what it is, doesn't make me passive-aggressive.

It just means I don't like wading in BS.

I only find it hard to agree with because I've lived something different. Like I posted earlier, my RL marriage started as a virtual relationship. We met in chat.....chatted every day for weeks....moved that on to phone calls which became weekly for hours at a time...after 8 months of that, THEN we met in RL. We had already exchanged pictures, so there was nothing to hide. Now, of course, the pictures "could" have been lies, too, so maybe we lucked out in that they weren't. But, really, by that time the looks really didn't matter. (although body odor...yes...that might have been a deal breaker..lol). I already knew before seeing him in person that this was a person with whom I shared an extraordinary connection. After hours and hours of conversations, I knew that I found him interesting, bright, funny, understanding and entertaining. So, the looks were just an added bonus. You can be attracted to more than just physical attractiveness. If you're saying that's the most important thing, then I'm sorry, but that's not true. Which is what *I think* led to Collette's remark about being superficial...because looks are. If my husband were in a disfiguring car accident, I wouldn't divorce him because his looks changed. I'm sure you don't find it wise to engage in an online relationship, or maybe I totally misunderstood the post I quoted, but I'm living proof that sometimes they're not only wise, but maybe the wisest decision I ever made. Of course, I speak only for myself here, but you asked why "we" find it hard to agree with that. That's why I find it hard to agree with.

so you are just changing the subject and it has nothing to do with what we were talking about. Interesting. So you dont have anything to say really in response to our posts.

I most certainly, and without any inkling, did not. Are you actually insinuating that I run from a fight? I thought you knew me better by now...

not run.

CHEAT.

Games. All of it. Ah well...just know that I know.

QFT!