The Effect of SL on RL

I think anyone contemplating meeting in real life should definitely fess up about what they look like in real life. I mean the person will know soon enough.

Leading off with looks and then stating "lies lies lies" does come off as superficial.

Thats not the same as stating "A lot of people lie about their looks"

Very insightful--but let us not confuse the different 'types' of lying that come with the territory.

There are 'secrets' and there are 'lies' --and sometimes something is both at the same time. However, the simple things a person online will lie about is completely different than the things they tend to lie about in real life. A person online might lie about their look, their age, their height, their gender, their career....anything and everything.

However, after you meet someone in real life, a few of those lies are impossible to pull off.

Which is why online relationships are more often based on lies than off-line relationships. Perhaps it is true...technically speaking...people lie. But because we are talking about online relationships here...let's focus (or not) on that.

There have been a plethora of articles written about people who meet online and then move on to off-line.

It is AMAZING how many actually try to get away with all the lies...even if they know they might meet them in person. Some people are crazy. Some are desperate. Some...well...sometimes both participants are a bit of both...and that can be either really good...or really bad...

Other than looks what is lied about online that isn't lied about offline?

*Gender (different than looks)

Sure there are a lot that tie together...but come on...'looks' categorizes a TON of lies, you can't just say, 'oh, besides looks...'

I mean looks can encompass:

*weight
*height
*age
*gender
*style
*appeal
*ethnicity

I see a lot of potential lie categories there...all of which you can't lie about in real life (don't get crazy...I'm not talking about hidden private parts or bleached skin).

I always thought of starvation and over population as the "great human suffering..." as opposed to whether or not geeks can get dates.

I would say that the great human suffering is that inflicted on partners and spouses.

instead of asking what people lie about maybe we should ask what things we can not percieve online by any common means. and a couple people including myself already posted what some of those things are. appearance isnt one of them.

I think 'geeks getting dates' is a bit shallow for my argument.

I am talking about future societies immersed in photo-real virtual worlds. The implications of my discussion far exceed a comment like, 'geeks getting dates.'

I'm sorry...but it's true.

WHOA thats a bit of a stretch - how many people lie about their gender up until the point they meet someone in an airport?

We were discussing Online moving to Offline relationships, remember?

and anyway everything he listed falls under the category of appearance. you asked him what else besides looks and he offered several variations on looks.

Sorry. You're so much deeper than I am. Laterz.

compared to the survival of the human species it will always just be geeks getting dates.

Thats the result of thinking grand. Eharmony isn't on the same scale as World hunger and problems with Overpopulation.

You guys are being totally difficult on purpose. Stop avoiding my points with other examples not relating to the subject at hand.

If you can't see my points...we are at an impasse.

Looks encompasses a HUGE amount of potential lies. That's where my points lie...let's keep our eye on the ball here...

Yes, it's a stretch Colette...but nonetheless true. It's happened. People lie about all the things listed...

Hey you said it, not me. (both things)

You guys...come on, stop thinking inside the box. I'm not just talking about online dating.

So, when someone says, "Photo-Real Virtual Worlds", all you think is "Online Dating"?

I'm going way beyond that. We are talking about the suffering of future societies and the ties to immersive fully-realized virtual spaces...that's a bit over 'online dating's' head don't you think?

Don't patronize me for not being so color-by-numbers.

i understand your points perfectly and i appreciate your intelligence in offering your position on the topic. However, as ive tried to point out several times already. Appearances are something that need not remain a mystery before actually meeting someone. i kept saying webcam over and over and was dismissed. im just trying to get the thread back on topic which i fear is hopeless lol the whole point youre trying to make is that online relationships are generally doomed because of lies regarding appearance. and im pointing out there are ways around the appearence thing by simply camming first. Honestly there are other things way way more difficult to detect online then appearence, which i already posted on.

All those things listed other than Gender are Looks related.

As far as Gender being lied about up until the point of a RL meeting? that must be extremely rare.

I go to the airport to meet my online husband of two years, but find out she is really a woman?

What are the chances of that happening?

So impossibly small its a non issue.


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SO basically the only thing people lie about in Online (that are moving to RL) relationships as opposed to Offline relationships is Looks.

So if looks are a deal breaker - buy them a web cam, or don't date online.

When the subject of discussion is Online dating it is all I think about, yes.

Michael

I gotta say that it was refreshing to read your comments, cause you get it.

well i dont get it and i dont see that what sci fi speculation has to do with the topic of this thread. im very open to listening tho if someone wants to connect the dots for me

My Goodness my Guinness my friend...I appreciate the wind. I find myself tacking all over the place here looking for [it].

Yesterday's fiction, is today's reality. Fact.

OK - since we are on the subject of lies being told in online as opposed to offline dating, it seems that there are much more important things than looks that lies are told about in relationships. BTW - Rusty, you were right - all relationships fail eventually as our bodies fail. It's our common destiny. Not my point exactly, but I can't argue with you.

Lies about appearance, gender, etc. are pretty easy online. I for example, look like a cross between Russell Crowe and George Clooney, but I'm younger and have washboard abs. I also drive a Ferrari when the Buggatti Veyron is in the shop. See? Lies. (I drive an Avalanche - the rest was all true.) But suppose I was having a serious relationship online with someone. They would eventually find out that I'm a dumpy, non-wealthy hairy guy who drives a truck. I don't look like anyone famous at all. On the other hand, I could lie about my criminal or relationship history, lie about my familial status, lie about my true intentions or feelings for them, etc. (I don't have issues with any of the foregoing, I'm just making an example). Those lies are much more painful than telling someone I'm handsome and rich, and those lies could just as easily be told in a relationship with no online element at all.

Lies are lies - just because they are easy to tell online doesn't mean that online relationships are inherently more deceitful than other relationships.

I stand by my previous statement. Online relationships do not end RL relationships. RL relationships end as a result of problems with the RL relationships that may manifest themselves through online affairs.