The Effect of SL on RL

What? How in the world could you possibly say what I wrote is 'digging a hole?" Have you any ability to read and interpret?

lol no Michael im too dense to have a valid opinion about anything. actually i dunno how i managed to type any of these posts, hey . .how did i get on these forums . . what the . .

Well generally for a Species to "suffer" in a Dawinian sense it has to be at an evolutionary/survival disadvantage. I don't see the Internet being able to do that.

But if you mean a lot of people will suffer bad feelings and messed up lives, yeah sure, that will happen.

Valid opinions won't buy you peanuts...they're like a**holes, we all have them.

But if you want to hear my opinion: With all I've seen you post, yes, I do wonder how you even managed to create an account.



ps. take this lightly...I'm just having fun...as you clearly are as well.

yah but more so then those who meet and hook up only in real life? im not convinced . . maybe a small percentage higher but not this great human suffering thats being refered to. Right?

im not gonna respond to insults . . says alot about you tho

The internet IS evolution--there is a correlation. We are always evolving on multiple levels: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

You're not going to respond to insults? Hmmm...how about the very insulted that started this...which you yourself stated concerning a post of mine.

Sheesh...one-sided I'd say. Try reading Flatlanders....

Thats what I meant by the hyperbole.

------------------------------

As far as the Online to RL thing -

I think Online relationships that move to real life fail just as often as Relationships that started in Real Life -

That is to say ALMOST all fail.

But thats normal. You have to get to know someone and see if its going to work out.

It just seems a lot worse if you went from Online to RL because of the time and expense involved (plane tickets , etc).

Also theres something extremely terrifying about people who are really mentally disturbed meeting IRL people they have met online and harming them. Even though its pretty rare- Its scary.

just because i dont agree with something you post doesnt mean im personaly attacking you. You on the other hand just insulted my competency to even post on the forums. Look im not here to teach you how to interact with other adults. I want to drop it now.

This great human suffering I speak of is not only happening already, but when technology and savvy increase, the effects will be expounded--I am mainly speaking in future-tense.

Imagine when we create AI. Add along with this virtual worlds that are graphically identical to the real world. Now...run with it.

How many of [you] will suffer because of this? How many of you will only benefit? If we can't pull our children away from WoW...how do we plan to when they truly LIVE these virtual adventures?

This all ties in with futuristic 'virtual dating' and relationships. I see bad things to come...but, I am not totally without pessimism...I see many positive attributes as well.

yah thats all true. and aside from the monetary costs of hooking up - think about all the endless hours spent nurturing an online relationship even to get to the point where youd consider hooking up in rl

OH, so you can say my posts are total crap...but when I make a joke about your competency (in hyperbole), you act like I've slept with your wife...I see how this works.

well for me to have a wife id have to be a lesbian and i said your post was crap not you. You dont distingish between the two and thats your problem not mine.

Can we agree that almost all relationships fail? They do. Look at a couple that is successful and how many relationships they had before finding the successful one. It doesn't matter where the relationship started, online, a bar, mutual friends, BDSM dungeon. It just doesn't correlate to whether the relationship formed online or not. We see online relationships fail because we are involved in an online community. People tend to be myopic about these things. I used to think that my profession caused bad relationships because so many of my colleagues had trouble with relationships, then I saw that doctors, CPA's, entrepreneurs, and basically everyone else had the exact same problems.

My point is that SL doesn't cause relationships to fail. They just do. If someone is cheating on their spouse in SL, then there is probably a reason for that and it's their own private business. It's not SL's fault.

I dont see it having such a profound effect.

I think that the internet's biggest change to dating is the ability to meet and communicate with people who you ordinarily wouldn't.

The actual dynamics of the resulting relationships aren't all that much different, especially when you are talking relationships that move from Online to Off.

Ah the ol "I said you're ACTING like a bitch...not YOU'RE a bitch"

That's a slippery slope there. I suppose we all are guilty of misinterpreting these kinds of phrases...I apologize.

Yes, but at least in the majority of RL relationships [you] already know what the person looks like...sooooo many online relationships are based on lies lies lies...I'd say that in itself separates online dating from real life dating.

Most RL relationships are based on lies lies lies also.

You have a point about the looks thing, which is especially important for the superficial.

"Lack of hygiene" is much higher on the 'deal breaker' list.

Important for everybody...not just the superficial. Give me a break. I'm not saying we are all looking for models...but it would be nice to see a photo of someone that was taken in the past 10 years before they put on an additional 50 lbs...

You don't have to be superficial to think attraction is important...that' a misnomer.

lol ewww god no

i really cant imagine agreeing to meet a romantic interest in rl from online without web camming extensively first. maybe you cant smell your partner over cam but its not that difficult to see whether or not they take care of their appearance. appearance and smells often go together (not always) but more often then not. so id still put pheromones back at the top of the list.

Don't *ALL* fail eventually?

--
Till death do us part...

I have to agree with Colette on this. A lot of people are not able to be their authentic selves, even though they are making you think they are. This is where most trouble occurs - not being able to own up to who you are as a person, and what you need from your partner, being able to express your deepest desires, and expectations and not making grand assumptions that the other person will be able to devine your needs. And for that matter, engaging in lies of ommission either - i.e.; making decisions for the other person by not giving all the facts of your life thinking "what they don't know won't hurt them".

Many people believe that deep inside them they are deeply flawed and unlovable beings and that if they let on exactly who they truly are, nobody would really love and value them because they don't value themselves.

The truth is, the damage that person causes to the relationship when the truth eventually comes out (as it nearly always does because you just CAN'T be inauthentic your entire life - the stress is too great and eventually you crack in some manner), is so overwhelming that it nearly always winds up being a self-fulfilling prophacy and causes the the exact problem they feared the most and which they were trying to avoid by hiding themself - retraction of love, loss of trust and respect, and possibly, the demise of the relationship.

/steps off soapbox...

Pheromones ring positive to me. BO rings negative...which do you mean? You can't really 'smell' pheromones...in fact, the pheromones are what 'turn [you] on"...

BO tends to 'turn off.'

Some people like BO though...at least a little bit...they call it 'musk' and a little musk can be good.