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Very simple. You don't have a good argument so you resort to childish tactics. It is a pity as I hoped for more from you, the very least being an answer to my questions. Never mind I do realise you have a habit of avoiding those that show you to be wrong.

No asshole. I meant you. Don't try to claim I meant anything besides what I said. Don't try to put words in my mouth... *You* are teh elitist boring troll, none else.

He has been that way from the first day I read this forum.


Please, do not believe his lies. I have never once mention anything about what he says about my shape. The vast majority of the time I only see what people quote and AFAIK the whole obsession with my thighs came AFTER I called him out for running Amara off. Again, do not listen to his lies. If you were in world when she left the FC group you know what she said. This whole thighs bit is his repetitive lies. He lies. Get that? He lies. He lies over and over. It is a lie. It has no bearing on reality. My feelings come from what he has done and continues to do to the people I care about. Nothing else. Do not listen to his lies. It is not and never has been anything about me.

Funnily enough I was looking at two av's today (both 13 year old LOOKING boys) that were 30ish men in RL.

I'm am wondering about something.

Would I be right or wrong, in thinking (in general) that some people might be a little more uneasy with a guy playing the role of a young boy, than a women playing the part of a young girl.

I know there should be no difference at all. (they are both having fun playing a character younger then their RL years)

I just have this kinda feeling that in general most peple would accept a female doing it (it's just a bit of fun) than a male doing it (he must be a bit weird)

I've love to be told I'm wrong on this one.

You are wrong on this one.

You're welcome.

Well ok, I have no clue what others think, and I'm sure some will think that just as some will not. Where the majority lies - I have no clue. Either way you are right - there should be no difference at all.

I can undert#stand your thinking but I don't know the answer to your question. In this sick (real) world that we've developed, there is an imagined difference between a woman giving a child some sweets (candy) and man giving some to the child.

Well, there is some justification for this stereotype; while women can be paedophiles, it would seem that 80% to 85% are male.

So, yes, it is of course wrong to generalize about any individual man who may seem particularly friendly towards children. But there is some reason, perhaps, to be more wary of men than of women.

(For those interested in female paedophiles: )

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8022861.stm

Yes, indeed. I can undertsand the thinking. It's just a shame that we've developed such a sick world that a man giving a child some sweets is almost automatically 'suspect'.

Oh, I agree with you absolutely. No amount of statistical data can justify an automatic application of generalizations to an individual.

There is the other side, of vourse A few weeks ago I bantered my way into arranging for a child (17, but officially a child) to get me a specific birthday present next month. It was just banter but it was agreed. The following week I intended to tell her not to get it because it's a one-sided arrangement and she's just a schoolgirl, but she'd already sent for it. This week she's thinking of something I can get her for Christmas - I wouldn't feel right it being one-sided with her just being a schoolgirl.

A couple of weekends ago it was Trick a Treat night in the UK.

Where kids walk up to someone's door and ask for a treat (some sweets perhaps)

If a guy (nice genuine guy) had bought a load of sweets to give the kids that came round, but harldy anyone did (perhaps the weather was bad)

Then the next day, thought he wanted to give them to the kids anyway, so offered them to kids (perhaps as they came out the school nearby) he's probably get arrested.

Yet it was ok for him to give the sweets to the kids round his house the night before.

Funny ole world

Seriously I find it upsetting (from my own point of view) that as a male, even I would be suspected of being "up to something" if I was around any children.

A few years ago, I took my girlfriends your boys (about 10 years old) to a nearby play ground. Only a small area with a few swings, a roundabout, seesaw and slide.

There were alreads a few kids there (around the same age) with no adults.

So it was me, my girfriends two boys and I guess around 4 or 6 other kids, all in the 8 to 12 age range.

I pushed my girlfriends boys on the swings, and got asked by some other kids to give them a push also, and same went for spinning the roundabout around for them a bit.

All good harmless fun, but all the time I felt uncomfortable, that someone could be looking at a grown guy, alone, playing with a load of young strangers kids in a playground.

I really had a bad feeling, and only gave a few pushes on the swing or on the roundabout as I could imagine someone else wondering what I was doing.

Such a shame that I had to be made to feel guilty in that way.

Of course, nothing happened, no-one else (adult) was around and all the kids were happy when I left with my girlfriends boys to go home, but I don't think I'd do it again.

Shame.

I don't know, but I imagine you're right.

But just to add to the questions of perspective, if you're going to describe 13 years old as a young boy, then how would you describe 8 years old, or 5? A 13 year old is a young teen, not a young boy or girl.

Oh you are so right about this. If a man or woman is genually fond of kids with no other motives than to maybe make them smile they are often look upon in bad light..

When I was a kid across the street from my grandma's house there was a man that came from the north every summer, me and my sister could NOT wait for him to come each year, we always new he had a piece of bubblegum or candy waiting for us, while his wife would bake or otherwise entertain us! They had no kids of their own and we we more than happy to hang with them!! NEVER was he anything but a kind man who just wanted to hear the laughter of children!!

Today, before halloween in my town at least an email and flyers is dispatched and names are listed and addresses of sex offenders. This is not a time in life to take these things any less serious.

A few weks ago a little 7 year old came up missing her ein FL while walking home from school... they found her body in a garbage dump in georgia.

To err is better to be right and do nothing and find another chld who was abused or killed.

however in your case, I would not worry... enjoy it I BET half those kids loved to have an adult actually care about them, the parents send them off unattended and wonder why something happens to them!!

I dunno, Piggie.

There's a difference between children going round Trick or Treating, on the one hand, and, on the other, some total stranger -- male or female -- approaching out of the blue and offering them sweeties, don't you think?

If I had kids, I think my reaction would be much the same to their being offered sweets as they come out of school; if it was the parent of one of their friends, or someone they knew, then that's OK, but if it's someone they don't know, then I'd be rather alarmed.

As to your playground example, I know what you mean. I've got a work colleague, or had until he retired recently, who said he felt really bad because, ever since once he'd been walking through the park on his way home from work, he'd seen a little girl running and fall over and start crying, so he helped her up and comforted her, as he would one of his own grandchildren. And he got a right earful from her mum, when she turned up 30 seconds or so later. What upset him was he feels now that, if the same thing happens again, he'll have to leave helping the child to his wife, if she's around, or just leave the child alone unless it's a clear medical emergency.

(lucky my daughter was very shy and would scream her head off is anyone approached her.. regardless)


half the child abductions, rape and murders are commited by someone they know..

Its a shame good natured people must turn a blind eye... You know what I would not care.. whatever if I see a child crying Im going to offer a hug or assistance.. the hell with what anyone thinks. hell if more people actually cared about the kids.. well... Everything gets organized "after" something happens you know...

we are all so tainted over this we can not let ourselves offguard in case someone points an acusing finger... its sad.

/fixed

I suggest that it's your perception of him which has changed. He's been the same since the beginning.

There is still the stereotype in our society that females are maternal and nurturing by nature, and that we are physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of bringing harm to another person, particularly a child.

One stereortype I personally never believed.
Just like in crime: women are more sofisticated and better in hiding their tracks.

I have one friend who was physically and emotionally abused by his mother. The psychological scarring seems every bit as bad as I believe sexual abuse to be.

I completely agree with this. I've seen a lot of social expierments on this and people totally trust women more than men.

Well, "trust" is a complicated and multivalent word. I think that the amount of "trust" depends on the context. In the personal sphere, probably this is true. In business? I wonder if people trust a female investment banker as much as they do a male one?

"Trust," like so much else, is a function of culturally-determined stereotypes, I think.

This might shock you (or rather make you change your views a bit)

In the UK, Childline says that 11% of the calls received from children alleging sexual abuse suggest the perpetrator is a woman.

From this BBC news page 2 weeks ago:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/markeaston/2009/10/women_who_abuse_children.html

I don't know why this would particularly shock . . . although it certainly plays against the stereotype somewhat.

One of the scary things about a culture of violence and exploitation is the way in which it co-opts its victims. Battered women come to blame themselves for their own victimization; abused children become themselves abusers.

It's a sad sad cycle . . .