"Making Love" in SL...

That last bit wasn't an aside. The whole point of her post was that that she had an "honest, open love" and was "making love" instead of having sex, and was therefore better than the people on the forums who don't take virtual relationships and sex so seriously.

The little detail tucked neatly in the middle is that this "honest, open love" ended for reasons involving moral issues and RL families.

So, I'm a bad person because I flirt and tease and have a generally humorous attitude on the forums, and the OP is a wonderful person because she shared an emotionally touching story about cheating on her RL partner.

The truth is that I didn't take the OP's post personally... I just didn't take it seriously. I also didn't take it personally when people criticized my posts... they made valid points, and I responded by defending my position.

But I did take your post personally Abby, because you made it personal. You called me a jerk (which apparently you later edited out), and you accused me of being threatened by discussions of emotion. I don't think the insults were deserved, and so I told you so. I fully understand it won't change your mind, and that we will think poorly of each other from now on.

Ava, forum melodrama aside, inquiring minds are wondering if there is enough of Raymond's Richard to go around.

/me rifles through cupboard looking for Barry White albums and pie filling.

Pie! I like pie....

hands Nimue a case of cherry and bluberry pie filling , sorry im out of pumkin....


ibtl

Thanks for bringing the humor back, Nim and Av!

/me goes back to washing the RL dishes, giggling like a teenager in sex ed class.

You're not a jerk, Ava. You helped me figure out who stole my money fom the devil -possessed dance ball once.

It's just, I couldn't figure out what your problem was with this poster, why you were ridiculing her, except that you must be threatened by the idea of people having real feelings in the virtual world. You and your co-horts really burned me up, but that could be my problem. I've left SL bars in a huff, more than once, when people seem more intent on showing off how cool they are than in relating to new people.

Obviously, you read her post differently than I did. You saw the main point as a kind of put down of SL jokesters, and an elevating of her experience over yours. I honestly don't see that in her post, and certainly not as the main point. The main point she made was that the virtual relationship turned out to be more real than make believe. I don't put her experience above yours, I don't think her experience has anything to do with you, or me, except in whatever way we relate to it. That's that.

What kind of pie was it?

Enquiring minds need to know.

Nevertheless - this is a question and answer forum and the OP has not asked a question. That's why we're trashing her.

Boston Creme's good too...

As much as I enjoy my relatively new SL, to me RL always trumps SL. I'm not saying that it can't happen (a SL romance turning into a RL romance), but I still find it had to imagine that a SL romance I have with a man would be real. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy SL dancing the occasional SL hanky panky. But it's not real, at least not to me. If/when I am ready to get back in the real game of real romance, I will be looking for it in RL, not in SL. Sorry ... that's just me.

BTW ... I just came back from a RL festival this weekend where tons of people were dancing and I couldn't help but notice the lack of lag while all those people danced. How twisted is that? Ha ha

Oh. I see. I have dishes to do as well.

(Abby feels bad she will never understand the cool kids' rules. Then she remembers she is no longer in high school, and really couldn't give a shit about the people in SL.)

And this is why Strife locks threads on this subject as soon as possible on this forum. Posted yesterday on another thread by the res/mod:



And Ava, when I find this Richard, I'm going to kick his ass.

see, that's just a really strange conclusion to reach. That's the *only* reason you can think of why her post might not have been well-received?

Now that several people have offered other reasons, do you still think this was why?

Thank you Abby, I do appreciate that.


The kind that is warm and sweet and squishy...


I love you too, sweetie!

Ohhhh Boston Creme........

LOL so we only care if its a question and answer forum when we want to trash someone?



-----------

Ava makes a good point - People get annoying when they brag about how wonderful their love life is. Virtual or not.

This story has an obvious flaw in it - that that "wonderful" love involves stepping out on RL relationships.

So people are going to point that out - since it was put up as a demonstration.


Sure the original poster has a point too, that people shouldnt trash on the concept of Virtual Sex like they do.

The way I read the OP was that she really disagreed with the conventional wisdom of certain forum posters to the effect that real relationships are not possible in SL. In that regard, I agree with the OP. I didn't read it as saying that she was "better than other people" as a result of that. I think some people are being pretty darned defensive.

As for stories that laud extramarital love .. I mean, come on, people, haven't you read books or been to the movies? From The English Patient to The Bridges of Madison County to Anna Karenina .. I mean come on! It's long been recognized in literature that extramarital relationships -- despite the moral/ethical issues implied by them -- are a mixed thing -- when you look at each of them in detail, close-up, the specifics of each situation, it's just not that easy to cast a heavy-handed mallet-like judgment about them. The black/white "slam-the-door" mentality of some of you is frankly stupefying to me, really, and seems to reflect a lack of sophistication about the nuances that these situations raise.

Well said, Victorria.

Considering the posters you are refering to, "Wisdom" would be a stretch.

Hehehe ...

I wish I were out celebrating, no I'm helping my sister move. We get along find as long as we aren't arguing... and when it comes to moving things and finding space for things... we argue.

[Nothing like a post by the ResMod to catch my interest in a thread. And, congrats, Strife--we'll try to behave /halo on ]

Besides reading them, how about *writing*? Should we suppose the emotions that authors bestow on their characters are less genuine than the ones we feel in RL?

Oh, right: the characters are fictional.

But, what about the author's emotions when writing those words?

Oh, right: the author was just *imagining* those emotions, for the benefit of fictional characters.

But, how can I tell if I'm *having* an emotion, or *imagining* an emotion?

Oh, uh... hmmm... Authors' spouses must have it rough.

Just make sure if its hairy you use toothpicks and clean up afterwards it could be more embarrasing the prim hair rezzed up the butt LOL

@ Oie: I think authors' spouses do have it pretty tough ... even if the author is writing nonromantic fiction, writers do tend to sink into an alternate world of their own creation.

There are those who regard cyber not actually as sex with a real person, but as pornography being mutually created. In a way this is probably healthy; regarding the activity as a 'scene' with characters, and not as something actually happening to YOU, would tend to reinforce the essential unreality of cyber and SL in general.

For those whose compartmentalization skills aren't so sharp, SL relationships can have a terrible, and wonderful, reality. The OP clearly created a relationship that had more than just the sexual dimension, and is now grieving. This so often happens in SL, I can see why people have the knee-jerk reaction of "so just don't go there". But I'm not willing to mock someone about a minor infraction of forum rules when they're grieving. And I truly don't think she was trying to portray her relationship as 'superior' to anyone elses.

Eveline, if you are still reading this thread, I wish you well. I hope your first life fills with wonderments that will cause this pain to fade ... and that SL does not lure you into exposing yourself to further sturm und drang.

I don't think that SL relationships are not "real", they are just relationships that are taking place in virtual reality rather than material reality. I do agree that compartmentalization can be helpful (I try to do it most of the time myself), but my compartments aren't labeled "Real Life" and "Fantasy World", but "Material Reality" and "Virtual Reality". Each of the worlds and experiences is "real" to me, but the character of each of the worlds is different.

Interesting thought! If relationships that don't exist in the real world are fictional, you could say that every novel ever written is obviously just a figment of the author's imagination, and that his/her emotions in writing the book aren't real either. In this case, any SL "relationship" isn't real either.

On the other hand, if you argue that fictional novels involving infidelity come from real emotions on the author's part, then isn't the author considered immoral just by thinking about it and imagining it? As such, SL relationships are then also real and can be judged as so.

Weird.