At what point are you cheating on someone?

Haven't read through this thread so don't know if this answer has been posted, but it is the complete answer to the OP's question:

If you have to hide it from your Significant Other, it's cheating. If you don't have to hide it, it's not cheating.

I don't know that this can always be easily explained........ nor is it anyone else's business. IMO, it is something that each person must decide and unless you live many a day in the other person's life, you can only guess, assume, and make invalid judgements.

Love hell, tis all lust, dear... all lust

OP updated.



Oooo... now we get to see if Jig was serious.

Have still not heard from her or Hal

I'm pretty sure that yesterday, in another thread, she mentioned she would be traveling today so we wouldn't see her here.

I can wait thought I do wonder if Hal reads this and while Jig is away well you know what they say

eh, it's SL, doesn't really matter... you didn't lose your lover, you just lost your turn =X

*shrugs*

Read Jig's profile and you will have his name, obviously, and can simply IM him. Before you do so, though, perhaps you should read HIS profile.

Have fun and please, spare us any blow-by-blow description of whatever happens. Poor Hal has had his undies aired quite thoroughly enough here already.
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I have read both and I wont IM him out of respect. Jig put forward he should play about she can be the one to inform him what she has been saying as it wont come from me. If I do meet him ( if there is a Hal) i will not air anything in public that would be btw him and I

Here I am.
Oh yeah there really is a Hal - you can see him in my profile. I so dont think he wouldbe bothered coz in many ways he is liek an indulgent dad for me and spoils me (which I admit can make me worse especially if he is away somewhere in real). But I not worried if he is IMed. (She says in a jaunty way - and sticks out her tongue and give teh finger roffle)

I am travellign but just gonna sleep in my hotel. But he will just laugh if you tell him anything and will smile indulgently at me. seriously. He will say "Oh that is my Jig - sigh - such a naughty one (or soenthing liek that), and what a joy to sl community at large"

Somethign liek that.

Then I will say something really cute and make him laugh and... win!

Lol Brenda, you so sharp you could cut yourself one of these days

You really are something Jig for a start just because someone is on your profile does not make them real many ppl are partnered to their alts. I can not believe how disrespectful you are to him and if you see him as a father figure then i am more unimpressed but then you do not seem to care what ppl think orhow you treat pl I hope Hal( if there is one wakes up to your childish game

Consider the possibility that Hal has a different idea of disrespect than you do. I haven't seen her say anything about him that I'd consider disrespectful of me, other than perhaps a playful jibe here or there. It's obvious to me that she has a lot of respect, admiration, and other positive feelings toward him. In fact, she speaks better of him than many wives do of their husbands, or husbands of their wives.

You're within your rights to think that a sexual relationship with a father figure is a problem. She's within her rights to enjoy one. It's a big world, and I'm glad no human is the final arbiter on what's good and what's bad.

I believe Hal is fully awake to all of Jig's childish games. I bet he rather enjoys many of them.

Finally, it's really rude to call someone a liar without any kind of proof. Evidently you don't care how you treat people.

Now, you two must hush arguing. Hal and I are different people but he also understands me completely. We are very intense as friends in sl, but also intellectually. I do not deny I need an older man in my world - Hal fits that because he is so intelligent and wise. I enjoy using sl to communicate with him because he is there for me - objective and assuring. Evryone has friends liek that.

In my reality, any older person is more often in a position to gain financially from what I do. Trust is a chequebook at thatlevel or a bank account. Neautrality of decision is a luxury by a clever man is something I have used over and over again with Hal. He has nothing to gain financially from what I do in real. Wow, you dont know what a luxury that is for me! And his advice has not been squandered by me.

I do not"marry" here as peopel would in real since this isnt real. Besides in many ways that would be insanely hard for peopel liek me and hal. He really is nearly 40 years my elder. He has a life that I dont fit in to. I have a life that would only allow about the same amount of real time as he sees me now.

Yes, I misbehave. No purposefully. I just get tmpted easily and cant say no. And there you are! I am in a boys bed in sl and Hal is offline and its cool. What teh eye doesnt see, th eheart doesnt grieve for, is my philosophy there. But I do really love him and respect him. It sounds strange, but I am not ordinary by any means.

If I play chilidish games , well I am over 18 BUT I am under 30. So can't I be chilidsh sometimes??

And I am not having sex with a father - I am having a partnership with a father-figure. Figure. A man who I acknowledge as older and wiser and able to help a younger woman in giving her ideas and creative thinking. Many women have married men liek that in real. It's not incest, its a word that grants an understand of our relationship. Sometimes he does "speak" sharply to me or rebukes me. But those are times when I really have screwed up. I think all women should have men with expereince for husbands. I dont have time to teach a boy how to grow wise.

"I think all women should have men with expereince for husbands. I dont have time to teach a boy how to grow wise."

A few RL friends of mine have husbands who are some what older than they are all was great when they were younger. Now he is in his 70s and and she in her 50s she is still active and wanting to go out he wants to stay home. She loves him and is there caring for him but she says she would not recommend to much of a gap to anyone younger person she knows.

Now on your comment if all women had husbands older with experience where do the younger men get their experience from?

Oh that is easy. Older women who have younger men for lovers. Let them teach the boys how to be mature.
When I was 19 my lover was 56 and I know I shoulda married him. He is still my real friend but what a mistake I made when I said "no" that day.
He woulda had a good run with my money.

Its not all about money and maybe some of us older women are not interested in toy boys just as some men are not interested in "bimbos" I for one dont plan on "teaching boys" that is something you lean as you mature

and you would have too. Older men are much more knowledgeable and considerate then younger men

From reading his profile, I fully believe this. You do seem to bring him such wonder and joy that he never expected to find here. I am actually very happy for you both that you found each other and you both get what you want and need out of the relationship.

You are most definitely showing yourself to be quite the judgmental type -- and in my book, that makes you the disrespectful one. Just because someone does things differently, and even in a way that apparently irks you, it still does not mean that what they are doing or how they are doing it is wrong or bad. It might not be "right for you", but it works for them.

It's okay, Lil, I'm learnign peopel have gotta have a chance to express themselves if I "put out" - I mean, I gotta take it also.

My favourite is the dusty old 70+ year old that has a wife they boys want to seduce and who looks more like a sister to the children.

<.<

>.>

I would not want to be one of those kids.

well speaking only for myself, i feel that cheating begins the moment that, even if its still just thoughts, you move one millisecond beyond wondering if it is anything your partner would be unhappy about and, not hearing NO ringing crystal clear from one end of your soul to the other.
and for me personally this applies to any manifestation there is or can be of me in any world, real or virtual or mental. i love my partner, and her love of me is the world in which i live, and i don't want even one breath of air from any world outside that love.