Don't go where you're not wanted
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Gummi Richthofen
Fetish's Frasier Crane!
Join date: 3 Oct 2006
Posts: 605
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05-21-2007 02:14
From: Maggie McArdle any couple rl or sl who engages in activities that should best be done indoors is asking for an audience. im not talking about the occaisonal cuddle cutsey stuff. im sorry, but in real life? where REAL stuff happens? if Mr.reil and his companion were to indulge in such things, they would be laughed at, pointed at, gotten an audience and or arrested. at least in this arena all the guy did was stand there. hardly an activity worth orbiting the gentleman for. and to expect said privacy on a SIM that was built for PUBLIC enjoyment is laughable.
you can make all the excuses about so called ettiquette and manners you wish. bottom line: drop your drawers in a public venue, expect the public to look. again GET A ROOM! Oh boy, you don't get out much, do ya. Laughed at and pointed at? Largely that depends on how ugly you are. Go do a bit of research on the (largely british) pastime of "dogging". |
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bilbo99 Emu
Garrett's No.1 fan
Join date: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 3,468
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05-21-2007 02:52
From: Gummi Richthofen Oh boy, you don't get out much, do ya.
Laughed at and pointed at? Largely that depends on how ugly you are. Go do a bit of research on the (largely british) pastime of "dogging". I must lead a very sheltered life LOL Rusty put it in a nutshell, keep your intimacy to IM's. All they 'see' is pixels. |
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Kidd Krasner
Registered User
Join date: 1 Jan 2007
Posts: 1,938
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05-21-2007 05:35
From: Serenarra Trilling I am normally a big supporter of privacy issues in SL, but you are going WAY too far when you expect privacy in a public place.
If you orbit someone for watching you do ANYTHING in a public place, my opinion is that you should be permabanned from SL. There's a difference between privacy and courtesy. If you read the police botter at all, you'll see that Linden Labs has a variety of responses to violations. In my opinion, a single incident of orbitting someone like this calls for a warning, nothing more. Permanent banning should be reserved for people who are malicious, not people who either used poor judgment in an isolated case or don't understand the rules and issues as well as they need to. From: Io Zeno Yeah, it's amazing, I can walk through Central Park in the heart of New York City and not see one couple f***ing [vulgarity elided - KK] on a bench in broad daylight.
That's because the ground is more comfortable. Seriously, Central Park is big. There's a lot of stuff going on in the bushes that you won't see unless you know which grove of bushes is the right one to walk through. |
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Lota Lyon
Registered User
Join date: 5 Oct 2006
Posts: 245
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Don't go where...
05-21-2007 06:00
My goodness i didn't realize so many "fundimentalists" where on SL. Lindins must advertise on the CBN or something.  To me, diversity is the spice of life, whether it be RL or SL but i understand insecure minds getting upset when someone does something openly they also do but lie about not doing it. i've seen many things in RL and SL that i'm not particulary fond of but i just go about my business. Now lets see... how many of the great TV fundimentalists have been scandalized for preforming socially perverted acts or for the gross miss use of moneys in the past 10 years? i seem to remember reading something about "casting the first stone" too... perhaps that might also be something to ponder in SL as well as RL? Yes building is fun and i've had a ball doing it, as is creating things like shapes and skins and i've loved doing that too, exploring can also be great fun as can owning an adult club (which is actually more of a pain in the butt) which i do, and, oh yea, even SL sex can occassionally be fun if done in the APPROPRIATE place... such as a mature parcel designed for that type of thing and with someone with an imagination and brain. i'm just glad i haven't limited myself to just one aspect of RL or SL. i'm equally glad i'm not someone who critisizes other people for doing things i really don't have any interest in... like killing small animals with HUGE guns, watching sports on TV, getting drunk every weekend, gambling, etc, etc, etc... Like someone else said "lighten up people, its a game!". Just my worthless two cents worth |
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Ricardo Harris
Registered User
Join date: 1 Apr 2006
Posts: 1,944
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05-21-2007 07:02
I know Cole and I know he's not the type to go around pushing people or being rude to them. This other person had to of really been messing around for Cole to of done this.
With this said, I also know the place he was at during this incident. It's a grotto which by the way was made for couples to go to and have privacy. While I won't mention the name of this place it's a no fly area and once you enter the area you want to be at, a rope drops down like a barricade and a sign goes up saying "Occupied" to let others know there are people there and making it so you can't go in.
Since you can't fly you can't jump the rope so in order to go in there you would have to really go out your way going in and out of tight spaces to get in. Now, the only way one was to get in would be if you really try to since by accident you can't go there once the rope drops. And you can't just drop in because you were chasing down a "frisbee" as someone said.
This same thing happens everyday and has also happened to me by idiots who have nothing better to do then going around making jerks of themselves. While I agree with some of the responses here I don't agree with dumb lame excuses like "maybe he didn't rezz properly" or "the guy went to check out the dots he saw on the mini map to make new friends" or "he didn't know you was there." C'mon, now, these are really petty excuses.
The other day at a nude beach some moron pulls out a giant cock then begins using it to hit the females that were gathered there. People asked him to stop but he wouldn't. Making a report won't do any good either we all know that. This is just one of many type incidents that happen daily in sl. Then if someone pushes this person across the sim are they wrong for doing so?
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Mo Dryke
Dryke Gallery Owner
Join date: 2 Feb 2007
Posts: 192
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05-21-2007 07:04
no
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Kikki Tiramisu
Registered User
Join date: 11 Jul 2005
Posts: 48
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05-21-2007 08:57
Did it occur to anybody that maybe the poor sap had just logged in to his last location and had a hard time rezzing and whatnot?
Just sayin'
K.
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Denise Bonetto
Registered User
Join date: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 705
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05-21-2007 10:03
From: Kikki Tiramisu Did it occur to anybody that maybe the poor sap had just logged in to his last location and had a hard time rezzing and whatnot?
Just sayin'
K. Or like me, wonder around just exploring only to have to run off to my woken toddler leaving my av stood around |
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Angelique LaFollette
Registered User
Join date: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 1,595
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05-21-2007 10:43
From: Io Zeno Yeah, it's amazing, I can walk through Central Park in the heart of New York City and not see one couple fucking on a bench in broad daylight.
What parks are you strolling through?
And when you see these orgies in public parks do people avert their eyes? Central Park, Burnaby, of a Tuesday afternoon, warm, pleasant, and Obviously the right atmosphere Couple Coupleing on the Park bandstand (One of a few examples from past experiences. right place at the right time?). Lol. And you would no doubt have been surprised at the people (Myself included) who became interested in the unique Flora on the OPPOSITE side of the Path as they passed, Honestly the only Civilized reaction to a Potentially embarassing situation. You COULD confront these people, But i think attempting to shame them would be pointless as thier activities already indicate your attempts to do so would fail. You could call the authorities, But the couple would be long gone by the time anyone in uniform showed up. Best to just avert your eyes, and save the whole situation as a Good Humerous story for the next party you attend (Rightious Indignation optional). The OP was Not originally about the Open Air Sex crowd, But was about couples sharing intimate moments (Amazing to me the fact so many people thing the ONLY sort of intimacy a couple can share is the Horizontal mambo) Inside or outside, being accosted by People who simply cannot mind thier own Business. In one of my homes, i can just be sitting at my Table, speaking to my partner, and some Throwback will Pop in hoping to "See something". These people are Adults in Years, but thier juvenile behaviour still leaves one to wonder. Angel. |
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DragonLady Merlin
Registered User
Join date: 2 Mar 2007
Posts: 59
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05-21-2007 10:48
Many spots are made for couples to get together and as we all know they usually do whatever they want to whether it's sex or not. Like I also stated, I was in an off-road, in a corner away from the main area and the only way to get to where I was you had to go out your way to do this. So what possible excuse is there for someone to do this except to interfere.
I was at a public place like that a few weeks ago. There was a couple there, wandering around together and talking. I didn't know them, so I steered clear. That is, until the apparently-male half started IM'ing me.
I honestly thought there was some reason he wanted to talk to me...so I wandered over to them. She on the other hand seemed to think I was interfering somehow. Finally, it dawned on me -they were on a "date" and he was some kind of cretin - IM'ing me just because I happened to be a random female walking by. He was talking to her like they were contenders for the prom royalty, and IM'ing me like he wanted to ask for a date. When I understood, I tp'd out of there as fast as I could go.
If you're in a public place, and some confused passersbye seems to be hanging around looking lost and wanting to communicate but not knowing where to begin...start with your "partner" and find out what's going on.
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Dakotaflyer Rau
German Rep0rt3r!
Join date: 17 Apr 2007
Posts: 89
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05-21-2007 10:58
From: DragonLady Merlin .............
I was at a public place like that a few weeks ago. There was a couple there, wandering around together and talking. I didn't know them, so I steered clear. That is, until the apparently-male half started IM'ing me.
....
. If that happened to me I would send the IMers half of the convo to the partner then leave and let them sort it out. Lota are you posting in the correct thread? If I see 2 dots on my minimap I will either avoid them or if I must go that way then do my best not to disturb. The times I have partaking in SL intimacy and have someone walk up like I am putting on a show for them is quite annoying. But even those times were not in a public open place. If you are in one like MIA or something then you should expect observers. |
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Isablan Neva
Mystic
Join date: 27 Nov 2004
Posts: 2,907
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05-21-2007 11:39
Much to the chagrin of the rest of humanity, there are unfortunately no laws against people being a**holes.
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 http://slurl.com/secondlife/TheBotanicalGardens/207/30/420/
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Angelique LaFollette
Registered User
Join date: 17 Jun 2004
Posts: 1,595
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05-21-2007 11:56
From: Isablan Neva Much to the chagrin of the rest of humanity, there are unfortunately no laws against people being a**holes. If there were the jails would be the size of Cities, and the cities the size of jails. lol  Angel. |
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Taylor Bayliss
Registered User
Join date: 17 May 2006
Posts: 144
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05-21-2007 12:12
Cuddle pose + IM + cam zoomed in on head/shoulders = pretty good privacy almost anywhere, plus an occasional mute <grin>
I usually stay away from doubledots, or I may cam in to see if they're a couple in need of privacy. I've RP'd quite a few things here, but, haven't figured out how to RP a rude person yet <grin>
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Ace Albion
Registered User
Join date: 21 Oct 2005
Posts: 866
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05-22-2007 03:26
Well whoever owns the land and built the grotto, it's pretty clear that they intended that whoever used it would get some kind of expectation of privacy. Nice to see everyone immediately assumed there was avatar humping going on. Says a lot about the "prudes" that they jump to these conclusions I think.
I gave up on expecting any real privacy in SL. Not because I believe that a social platform means you have to be sociable with everyone in it, but because a lot of people are rude and inconsiderate of other people.
Most of my chat is in IMs anyway, because I usually have a face full of editing gubbins. When I'm sat with a friend I usually prefer to talk in IM too. If someone walks into the house while I'm sat on the sofa with someone we usually wave hello. It helps to keep some sanity.
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Ace's Spaces! at Deco (147, 148, 24)
ace.5pointstudio.com
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Sunspot Pixie
dread heliotrope
Join date: 15 Jun 2006
Posts: 493
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05-22-2007 04:42
Cole, you might not have gotten the usual suspects who always come out of the woodwork to tell the rest of us what SL is for and to try an foist their personal morality on us is for if you hadn't dipped your toes in that pond yourself first (I am referring to you saying what "SL is for"  . And don't orbit people! Under ANY circumstance. All it does is cause you to possibly get in trouble with LL and give this pack of forum addicted wolves more fresh meat to sink their fangs into. Try to calmly reason with the person, and that failing, try to contact the land owner. Beyond that, there's not much you can do but ignore them or move. I recommend ignoring, as it has been my experience that if you simply do not acknowledge an unwanted person's presence, they usually dry up and blow away sooner than later. They want a reaction, so do not oblige them or you're playing into their hand. That said, what the hell is up with some of you? Do you read the posts at all? He said they were not having sex. Not only that, they were in a place created for just such romance. Cuddling != sex. Cuddling != an invitation for gawkers, in RL, SL or anywhere else. Many of you have such tunnel vision when it comes to what you think SL "is for", and thats fine and that's your right, but damn it, you don't get to try and force that vision on everyone else. That's the very epitome of intolerance. Stop worrying about what others are doing unless it directly affects yourself or other people in an adverse way. I'd hardly call a couple cuddling in a GROTTO MADE FOR ROMANCE an infringement upon your personal enjoyment of SL, unless you're an incurable busybody. Some of you are one step away from sounding like 14 year olds when they first realise what sex is. "EWW HOW GROSSS!" Grow up.
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If we eat our soup in the rain, we'll never run out...
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AndiCat Noel
Smiles, everyone, SMILES!
Join date: 20 May 2007
Posts: 44
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05-22-2007 08:44
I've been in SL for a week now, and as a newbie, I must confess that due to the initial ignorance of a newbie, I have intruded upon couples cuddling. This is only due to my inexperience with the world. Once I see green dots, whether there are 2 or 20, I think to myself, "Ah! People!" and venture toward them. Now that I am perusing the forum and gaining experience with SL, I am now realizing that there are some people that wish to be left alone and I give them that privacy.
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Broccoli Curry
I am my alt's alt's alt.
Join date: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 1,660
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05-22-2007 09:09
From: Sunspot Pixie Many of you have such tunnel vision when it comes to what you think SL "is for", and thats fine and that's your right, but damn it, you don't get to try and force that vision on everyone else. That's the very epitome of intolerance. Intolerance is also people criticising those of us who do have an idea of what Second Life is and isn't "for"... Every time you point a finger at someone, there's three (and a thumb) pointing right back at you. Broccoli
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~ This space has been abandoned as I can no longer afford it.
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Brenda Archer
Registered User
Join date: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 557
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05-22-2007 09:37
From: Broccoli Curry Intolerance is also people criticising those of us who do have an idea of what Second Life is and isn't "for"...
Every time you point a finger at someone, there's three (and a thumb) pointing right back at you.
Broccoli The thread was funny for a while, but with this it's getting tedious. In SL we simulate many things that we do in RL. It makes sense to simulate the manners that go along with it. When I hear people saying, in effect, "You can't force me to have good manners so you shouldn't expect any," they sound like spoiled fourteen year old brats. When someone is wandering around looking dazed and confused the first thing I do is look at the born date on their profile. Newbies often don't "get it." Everyone else really should. While I don't go around armed and I am careful not to do anything that would get me AR'ed, if some prude came up to me while I was coupled in a cuddle park, I'd seriously consider orbiting him myself. I am tired of prudes trying to run other peoples' lives and the damage that causes. But if it was a newbie I'd just gently ask him to go away. It takes a while to learn. |
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Mortus Allen
Registered User
Join date: 28 Apr 2007
Posts: 528
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05-22-2007 13:09
I do agree with the OP and some others that common sense and courtisy should be used involving couples in secluded spots. I would straight out avoid those pixel bumping, and yes I do occassionally come across them while I am exporing, usually I activate my flight enhancer and zip off. Those that are just cuddling or dancing I would only bother if I really needed help, or perhaps if I saw one had an item that I was really interested in and just wanted to ask quickly where they got it, I would of course excuse myself, ask my question and be gone again.
About rezzing, you should be aware that just because everything is rezzed where you are standing EVENTUALLY the same may not remain true when you are moving. When I explore less populated Sims I usually fly as this is the best way to get from one area of interst to another. That being said there are times I have to stop and let the local environment rez so I can see whats around me. Most times when I do this I don't even look at my Mini Map, I just say "That terrain over there looks interesting." and fly to it.
Pushing some one away is not the right answer, even for those lacking such manners. If this is how you want to deal with these situations then be prepared to reap the conciquences of being banned.
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Sunspot Pixie
dread heliotrope
Join date: 15 Jun 2006
Posts: 493
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05-22-2007 13:21
From: Broccoli Curry Intolerance is also people criticising those of us who do have an idea of what Second Life is and isn't "for"...
Every time you point a finger at someone, there's three (and a thumb) pointing right back at you.
Broccoli No, because I never have and never will attempt to push for others to adhere to what I think "SL is for". I know what it's for, for me personally, ME, but I'm tolerant enough to realise that that may not be the view of you or anyone else, and I am able to live with that without lashing out at those who use SL for different reasons than my own. If you actually read my post, you'll see that I am NOT criticising those who put their personal ideas out there of what SL is for out there, I am criticising those that try to push that view on to others, BIG difference, and one you would see had you actually read what I said with an open mind, instead of going on the defensive - which speaks volumes, by the way. Furthermore, I criticised the OP for it too, because he spoke for of all of us as to what SL is for. For the record, I think SL is for whatever anyone who has been extended the privilege of participating thinks it's for, short of breaking the rules. It's called live and let live (within reason and common sense). Lastly, the finger pointing didn't start with me, it started with the sexophobes, so, I'm just one of your three fingers (and a thumb) pointing back at them. I know you weren't trying for irony, but you sure nailed it.
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If we eat our soup in the rain, we'll never run out...
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Isablan Neva
Mystic
Join date: 27 Nov 2004
Posts: 2,907
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05-22-2007 15:17
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people - Will Rogers
Common sense is very uncommon. - Horace Greeley
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http://slurl.com/secondlife/TheBotanicalGardens/207/30/420/
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Charlie Kramer
Registered User
Join date: 5 Jun 2006
Posts: 23
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Hmmm.....
05-22-2007 15:26
How do you send someone so high in the sky when you are in a no build, no script and no push zone? Most places now have those features enable. Just curious for the answer And BTw... I totally agree with orbiting people if they are griefing you. They asked for it. From: Cole Riel We all know what this game is about and the things that go on inside by consenting adults.
Plus everyone in here is or should be an adult therefore you would think they would like like it. Act like it using common sense, respect of others and common decency in situations which call for it.
With this said, why is it so difficult for some people to steer away from couples who're sitting or laying down doing whatever by themselves? We all know you have more privacy in your homes but there are also many nice romantic places where couples like to go to either dance, cuddle, have sex or do whatever it is they're doing.
I just don't understand why these idiots although seeing whats going on still go out of their way to interfere where they shouldn't. I can see someone just tp'ing in and doesn't know whats going on but to walk out of your way just to walk upon a couple for the sake of being a nuisance is not acceptable. And this happens all the time.
Last night I was accompanied by someone and we sat at a corner away from everything and everyone but I got so tired of these half-wits going out of their way to walk right up to where we was for no reason other then to bother us. They had to veer all the way to the corner of the sim where we was and other then us being there, there was no reason for anyone else to go there. I asked this one person if he would excuse us I mean it didn't take a rocket scientist to see he shouldn't of been there but he refuse to move so I sent this guy up so high I believe he's still coming down as I write this. And I will continue to do this when I see they're obviously interfering for no other reason then to bother or harass. Maybe then they'll think twice about going where they don't belong.
When I see a couple, I make sure I don't go anywhere near them no matter what it is they're doing but unfortunately everyone is not the same. |
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Emily Triskaidekaphobia
Registered User
Join date: 13 Jan 2007
Posts: 44
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05-22-2007 19:45
From: Colette Meiji I think we need a new word
SLirgins. Yes, I'm SLelibate ... In RL I don't feel comfortable near people displaying overt affection. I don't really need to see a long goodbye kiss on the train in the morning while I'm trying to digest my breakfast. Most people have the good sense to not go overboard ... a peck and a hug is fine. Anything more and maybe they should have called in late to get their hormones in order before leaving the house. Largely I feel the same way about SL. That's why I don't often go to places I'm not wanted like "sex resorts" but a nice romantic setting with pretty trees and things ... these are for everyone. It is not the place to be busting out those special balls ... if someone walks by it's way out of line to take offense to the point of pulling out weapons (which are probably banned in that nice area to begin with). Excuse me while I look at the pretty sunset and enjoy this waterfall ... If you need a private place find one! Buy some land. Rent some land. Make sure you stay in IM. And try to keep your XCite shouts out of earshot of neighbors, please. I'm here to be creative, mostly, and to meet nice people. I've met a lot of them. I welcome people coming up to me whether I'm sitting alone, working on something, or even if I'm hanging out with one of my friends. Chances are we're talking about something innocuous and would even welcome you to the conversation. If I need a private moment then I know places to go. Anyway you need a lot of tolerance to enjoy SL. That includes tolerating intolerance. With luck everyone finds their favorite places where they know the owners/managers of the place and we all find our families and tribes that welcome us and do the grunt work of ejecting or banning people who don't play by the same rules we're all playing with. Each area is free to establish what is acceptable and what isn't. If an area does not work for your needs there's plenty of places to explore. Even in places I hang out regularly sometimes I feel uncomfortable with the conversation or the antics of people so I just teleport home or look for another place to visit or hop on my bike and ride where I'm free to do so and work off anything that's bothering me that way. No matter how hard anyone tries you'll have to deal with people you don't want to deal with so deal with it. RL is no different. |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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05-22-2007 19:57
From: Emily Triskaidekaphobia Yes, I'm SLelibate ...
Look, in RL I don't feel comfortable near people displaying overt affection. I don't really need to see a long goodbye kiss on the train in the morning while I'm trying to digest my breakfast. Most people have the good sense to not go overboard ... a peck and a hug is fine. Anything more and maybe they should have called in late to get their hormones in order before leaving the house.
Largely I feel the same way about SL. That's why I don't often go to places I'm not wanted like "sex resorts" but a nice romantic setting with pretty trees and things ... these are for everyone. It is not the place to be busting out those special balls ... if someone walks by it's way out of line to take offense to the point of pulling out weapons (which are probably banned in that nice area to begin with). Excuse me while I look at the pretty sunset and enjoy this waterfall ...
Look if you need a private place find one! Buy some land. Rent some land. Make sure you stay in IM. And try to keep your XCite shouts out of earshot of neighbors, please.
I'm here to be creative, mostly, and to meet nice people. I've met a lot of them. I welcome people coming up to me whether I'm sitting alone, working on something, or even if I'm hanging out with one of my friends. Chances are we're talking about something innocuous and would even welcome you to the conversation. If I need a private moment then I know places to go.
Anyway you need a lot of tolerance to enjoy SL. That includes tolerating intolerance. With luck everyone finds their favorite places where they know the owners/managers of the place and we all find our families and tribes that welcome us and do the grunt work of ejecting or banning people who don't play by the same rules we're all playing with. Each area is free to establish what is acceptable and what isn't. If an area does not work for your needs there's plenty of places to explore. Even in places I hang out regularly sometimes I feel uncomfortable with the conversation or the antics of people so I just teleport home or look for another place to visit or hop on my bike and ride where I'm free to do so and work off anything that's bothering me that way.
No matter how hard anyone tries you'll have to deal with people you don't want to deal with so deal with it. RL is no different. Your taking me out of context. Im refering to regular forums posters and medium to long time Second Life Residents who act like SL is something theres no place for. And to a lesser extent those who feel the need before they ever comment on any Sex related topic to begin with "Well im not into SL sex ... " Implying a stigma. Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to have SL sex. Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to see SL sex. But if someone goes onto a Mature Parcel with a romantic grotto - theres a good chance people will be kissing , or worse! OH NO! Just look away - come back at another time - pan your camera to not include them and mute both people / Whatever. I think people are anti sex mainly becuase of the Tacky Excesses Sex clubs, etc go to. But its their land they paid for it. A fact of life doesnt somehow become tainted becuase some peopel are tacky about it. Plenty of Tacky sex in real life. Doesnt make all sex somehow stupid. |
