How NOT to impress a lady you have just met...

... Unless, of course, you are trying to impress her with what a pathetic loser you are.

Just happened to me in-world. Really... (I was in one of my more attractive Female Human forms, wearing an ankle-length Cheongsam dress.)

Me: *busily building a positively HUGE structure in a privately-owned residential sim. No one else in the 5-sim estate. Then someone shows up 3 meters away from me, on the other side of a wall.*

Him: (shouts) "HI!"

Me: "I'm just on the other side of the wall." *walks through door to the side he is on. Sees that the new arrival is a male, nude, with no genetalia and a newbie skin.*

Me: "Can I help you?"

Him: "Maybe. What sort of things happen here?" *he puts on a patheticly bad prim penis.*

Me: "I'm building a large project here. And if you want to remain here, I am going to have to ask you to get dressed and put your toy away. I am neither interested nor impressed by your condition."

Him: "Too bad. He woke up for you."

Me: "This is not a nudist colony, and I am not interested. Get dressed or leave."

Him: *He flies off to the next sim, still naked and hanging out for the world to see. Minutes later he is off in the distance, shouting my name and that he loves me... *

Me: *Ignores him and keeps building.*

Him: (by IM) "Could you hear me?"

Me: (by IM) "I heard you. I am not interested. Go somewhere else before I have to ban you from the Estate."

Him: *Flies back over to me, still nude.* "Who owns all this?"

Me: "This 5 sim area is owned by my client. It is her private residential area. For the last time, get dressed or leave."

Him: "I don't know how."

Me: "Same way you put on that pathetic prim penis. Drag clothes from your inventory."

Him: "This is all I have." *He puts on just the shirt part of the chainmail outfit from Orientation Island. No pants. Still has the prim Bits on.*

Me: "Yes you do. Look in the Library section of your inventory. Lots of clothes there."

Him: *He finally puts on some shorts and a shirt, as well as glasses, sandals and a different set of hair. But he also is still sticking out at me.*

Me: "Get rid of the toy too. Detach it."

Him: *He finally complies, and is at last no longer exposing himself.*

Him: "Who made all this?"

Me: "I made almost everything in this 5-sim area, including the land itself."

Him: "Wow, you're really talented. Can I help out? You need some extra manpower?"

Me: "I don't need any unskilled labor, no."

Him: "Ouch..."

I logged out shortly after that. When I logged back in an hour later, he was gone.

If he comes back, maybe I'll morph into a werewolf...

Way to go, Ceera. You're far too nice, patient and good-natured for such nitwits. I would have ejected someone like that if I was in the middle of a major building job.

I did that.. into a dragon though. Really cooled the whole thing down when I looked at him with the deep green scales 'gleaming' and simply said, "I'm looking for lunch. A hot dog will do."

Hey Ceera

Sorry for the chuckle hahahaha. But that is why I always keep a spare "Put your dick away" in my inventory for laughs.

/me wipes coffee spray off monitor…

*Shakes his head and laughs*

Sorry you had to go through that, but it is funny to picture someone being as idiotic as that guy was. It's hard for me to believe it wasn't an act.

I guess guys like that operate on the premise as spam mail 99.9% of the people I accost will turn me down, but if I hit everyone, I'll eventually find that .1% that will say yes.

Of course that .1% will be a horny underage teenage guy with a female avatar, but hey, beggars can't be choosers can they.

Classic.

Love it...

Considering my Werewolf form is rather tall and has a nasty, snarling mouthful of very sharp teeth, I'd be tempted to just say "Well, if you won't remove it, I guess I'll remove it for you..."



*SNAP!*

I don't think he was trying to impress. At least not trying that hard like the post title suggests

You're nicer than I am. I had a relative of your naked newbie cruising around my (PG) sim yesterday, taking his brand-new freebie penis out for a spin. I teleported him home without comment. He showed back up 5 minutes later minus the dangly bits and wearing pants.

Sorry boys, helmet laws do suck, but put it away until requested....

i allways tell them to detach it, then in inventory click on it and select Attach To -> nose




allways good for a laugh

Hi C, I too have to applaud you for your patience, I have been sitting with Ceera when new people who havent aquired much etiquette yet have wandered into our chat and Ceera has always shown restraint and poise,
Kudos to you
oh yeah, she is an AWESOME builder and landscape artist




Sara

Had one guy show up today in my sim naked. Seeing as how rl press was in attendance, I didn't really have much choice but to give him a 30 second warning to gt dressed. It wouldn've been an instant boot if he'd had the wrong kind of prim attachments.

/me right click, orbit

The species Newbius Nudus Penes does seem to be in a spawning period in the last week or so.

They can easily be differentiated from the far more common (and much more pleasant) Newbius Indutus, by the former's striking lack of self awareness and consideration for others.

I try to be as patient and considerate as the OP when faced with such people. But if they start to suggest mutual pixel bumping that usually exhausts the limits of my compassion...

Ceera, thanks for sharing. You made my day.

I do hope that in retrospect you're finding that as funny as most of us seem to do.

Yeah, they really let out a bunch of unclad newbies recently. I nociced that, too (using a female alt at that time). I was briefly tempted to make fun of that guy, but desisted. Waste of time, after all.

*wipes ginger ale off monitor*

Next time that happens to me, I am gonna do that and take pictures for blackmail!!!!!

Too funny!!!! Fortunately, I am basically too unattractive to get much of this type of attention. when I do, it is not nearly as funny as your experience. It is genrally along the lines of: Hi...wanna f**k?

Me: No.

Him: Hey c'mon.

If I am on my land, I eject and bann him. If I am someone else's I tp out of there.

Seera, you sound like the type of lady I would compliment on the dress. The guy though I would turn around and threaten with my Katana or M-107. None the less you handled it with grace, and that is a virtue in it's self. Good for you.

My favorite trick when noobies do that is to attach my own modified freenis, its much larger and more imposing than the ones they get. I then say something like "I would, but yours is too small" or something blunt like "ok, bend over". I keep it around specifically for that reason.. is hilarious and works 100% of the time

I really feel for you ladies. If I hadn't personally seen a ton of this bad behavior I wouldn't have believed that noobs could act this way.

One day my mate and I (we're both furries) were out shopping and some newly born guy, naked and equipped with a big lumpy "piece" rolls up on us and starts pushing his pride and joy against her. He was texting in a language I didn't really recognize (may have been Brazilian Portuguese). In a very untypical (for me) bit of restraint, I didn't orbit him; I had the feeling that he really wasn't trying to be rude, but was just clueless, so I spoke to him in my very limited Spanish and told him to put away his gun and pick up some drawers. He immediately began to apologize and from what I was able to pick up (his Spanish was not much better than mine) he had just gotten booted from an orientation area by a griefer while he was trying to get himself sorted out. (I guess badly formed prim genitals are now handed out freely in noob areas LOL). Anyway, he dressed and left pretty quickly, still apologizing profusely.

And lest you ladies feel that us guys are immune to this stuff I have also been approached for sex by the clueless on occasion. My av is a Jogauni (a small white/orange canine). One day while out exploring this character walks up to me and says in broken English, "nice doggie, you're so cute" and starts trying to hug and pet me. I backed away asking if he was new and at that point off came his clothes and out came the woody. He said he'd heard about furs and yiff and he invited me to give him oral sex. (Why the hell is it that if someone knows nothing about furs, they always know the word yiff?)

Soon afterwards, he got a view of SL from 2 million meters up....

Occasionally, In the Past lady friends of mine tell me they have some Fool Following them offering Unwanted attentions. I tell them to Come to me, and Play along.
When they arrive, With Romeo in Tow, I go into the "Angry lesbian lover" routine. I Rip into them for Allycatting themselves around AGAIN!! Really tearing into them, of course, my friends Play along, trying to calm me, trying to explain thier latest is just an innocent misunderstanding Etc. All this time Romeo is getting more and more nervous, Finally they Bail Fast, usually when i start looking like i'm going to turn on Them. Once,, One suggested a threesome, so i DID open up on him, he bailed VERY fast. I' and my friend are usually Killing ourselves laughing at the Romeos feeble attempts at peacemaking, and thier final paniced flight.

Cruel, but amusing

Angel.

"He wook up for you" LMFAO


Wow..just wow. Sometimes i`m ashamed to be of the male gender.

I have a Grendel's Children avatar for just such an occasion: "Genome Rejects: The Mouth".

Closest thing I've seen in SL to a Shoggoth. Big and lumpy, shocking pink and pulsating, equipped with a dozen fangy mouths and a 'following' darkness breath weapon, and an 'engulf' attack.

~R

It is the Grey Penis that I wonder about. Lol, that doesn't sound right - BUT a lot of grey ones out there. Yeah, I have species Newbius Idioticus Rex occasionally. I was in a deep conversation with my partner (for once) when a Newbie (I checked his profile) actually managed to fly THROUGH my glass wall ON FIRE (flames shooting everywhere) and slam into the cliff face (I have a very artsy house) As he kinda staggered around I shot him. And then I continued the conversation. My partner asked "Was that a firework?"