Lonely, fed up, not enjoying it....

Not really enjoying SL much, not really involved in anything,either I dont have the skills for it , not experienced enough or its too wild for meto want to try.

Feeling that blue just thinking of cancelling my membership. DId anyone else feel like that when they just started out?

Currently I am trying to recoup my losses, i.e. the money i paid for land and my membership. There on out, i think i will just quit. So, any good ideas as to how to quickly make money, I want to be done with this as soon as pos.

Second Life has a Fairly steep Learning Curve at the start. Lots of people feel Lost or confused thier First wekks on Line. It IS much Easier if you are joining a friend who has been on a while before you but not everyone has that Luxury. Look for a Place called "The shelter" you will find Classes and tutorials there. You will also find Lots of people who may share your Interests. If you have an idea or Vision of what you want to do in SL, Don't worry if it seems wild. I've seen some VERY Wild, and Off beat things in SL. If you work on it in a Sandbox, and discuss it at the shelter, Chances are you will find Lots of people who will not only Help you reach your Goal, Many will want to Join in, and assist you. In SL, i've Piloted a Zepplin from the aerodrome, Stood on the deck of an Aircraft Carrier, Marvelled at Intricately constructed Dinosaur Skeletons, Walked the Corridores of the USS Defiant and a Klingon Bird of Prey. There is Nothing you Can't do in SL, You just need to Take the lessons, and learn how. It isn't Hard, I've Given people Basics of Building Classes in Under two hours.
Go to the Shelter, and Don't be shy about asking for Help. Almost everyone in SL is Good for a Few Tips.

Don't Give Up.

Angel.

Yes, very much so.

Things were broken, I hardly knew anybody, and the forums seemed to be full of militant, opinionated freaks.

I met griefers, males pretending to be callgirls, and scarier things.

Most of all my avatar was ugly and I couldn't figure out the horrible maze of the weird user interface.

I gave up for a long time, but eventually came by again.



I have a broke, landless main character that sort of drifts around the mainland lake sims - the ones where it's just pretty and nobody can build. I meet people there from time to time in similar circumstances - no friends, no inspiration, wondering what the point is. Heh, I get dissed or ignored pretty thoroughly by some of the more established, I guess my main character seems to be a bit of a loser.

One day I met a UK fellow who decided it was his mission to fly around, drop in on folks and offer them a free virtual beer. Sadly I lost track of him, but he had quite a few stories.

Here's the tale of another fellow - I don't think he has much land, but he's living a *very* rich existence in terms of fun and experience. Have a look here:

http://www.frontierhorizon.blogspot.com/

Second Life is a lot like the first.

Yeah, I felt pretty lost and overwhelmed too, until I started going to events and fighting my shyness and talking to people. I met some cool people, made a few friends who I started hanging out with, and found some fun places to visit... that helped a lot.

As far as not having skills, don't let it intimidate you. It takes awhile to get the hang of any new skill. If you want to learn building, don't pass up the tutorial at the Ivory Tower Library of Primitives... it's a big help, really explains things well. Plus, you don't have to learn everything at once... concentrate on one thing at a time.

Agreed, a lot of things in SL do seem wild... that's okay, there's a lot to do and see here, there are a lot of choices. If a place or an activity interests you but seems too wild, try easing into it... just go look around or watch for a few minutes, you don't have to stay. Just remember to make landmarks for places you want to come back to.

I agree, definitely check out the Shelter... I spent a lot of time there when I was new, and met some very friendly people. Don't give up, take it in small doses if that helps. I have a notecard with a list of helpful, cool and fun places to visit... I'll drop you a copy next time I'm in world, you might find it helpful.

Who was it who said that the only sure way to lose in Second Life is to give up and quit?

Stick around, is my advice. The best stuff is yet to come.

Like any pastime... say bowling... there are people that enjoy it, and people that don't.

SecondLife can be fun and challenging, it can be daunting or dull.

You might grow to like it if you stick with it... but I can't stress how important it is not to force yourself to enjoy it.

If you over spent on land/L$ and now feel guilty about it, and want to back out and recoup your losses, that's perfectly natural.

My advice to you is to get your investment down to a point where you're feeling more comfortable... and not so "trapped" into being in SecondLife. Don't worry so much about getting your money back out of your land.... if you take too long, you'll lose money on extra tier fees.

Anyway... I think the key to enjoying SecondLife is being curious, playful, and experimental. Being too serious is certain to lead to disappointment.

You've only been in Second Life for a week!

Almost nobody makes any money in a week, nor gets involved in anything too major. At that point it's quite right that you should be flying around, meeting people and just seeing what's around. Stronger friendships, group involvements, only form later - and that's a good thing, because if you try and do them too soon, you might miss out on things.

You've got your membership and land for a month now, so why not stay for at least that much longer? (And if your land is First Land, you can resell it for more than the price of your membership.)

SL alone is pretty boring. Interesting in an abstract way, but it's the people that make it engaging.

DEFINITELY try hanging out at The Shelter. Don't hesitate to try to strike up conversations. Yes, sometimes the chat can be difficult to follow (several conversations interlaced) but feel free to IM people and ask questions or just chat.

SL with friends is really what it's about.

Also, if you're just in it to make money, chances are you'll have an even worse time (unless the game of making money is what turns you on ... but it doesn't sound that way from your post).

Here's the thing about SL: you can choose your appearance, but your personality comes along. Of course, you can try being someone with a very different personality -- go ahead, give it a go, you might find something out about yourself. No safer place to try it than here. IMHO, the thing to do is find the appearance that best suits the personality you are or choose to try to present, and go for it.

Find someone to go visit interesting places or do interesting SL things with you, like skydiving, sailing, skiing, tons of other things. Visit the nude beach (use Search, popular places -- yeah that's it -- and hope it isn't full). You don't have to be naked, and it's a fun place to just people watch while lying on a towel. Ignore anyone who's rude, they'll buzz off if you don't react, and it's not too common unless you're a super hottie.

Send an IM to Draya Blackhawk and enroll in their trainee program. OK, the end goal for most students there is to be a dancer/escort, but the early classes are just about getting by in SL, finding out how to get your appearance what you want, etiquette, etc. Stuff anyone can benefit from. There's also a "Help People" group with a new school, try search for that.

And if you're still not interested, fine -- SL isn't for everyone. But making back your investment will likely be more work than fun, and if you spend the same amount of effort making money in RL you'll get a lot more for it. Making money in SL is about doing it in a way you like, not just making the money. We have RL for that!

Good luck and I hope you meet some nice people to help you out.

And you can IM me ingame; only I have to confess my limited SL time is usually pretty packed with work (I write scripts). So much to write, so little time!

I know what you mean. I came to SL from WoW and really it seemed very purposeless. Gradually as I explored and saw all the things you could create in SL, I started having all sorts of stuff to do. And it is great that you can make actual money selling things to people (well, and if you're me, spending it all again right away, shopping).

Now I have so many things to do there isn't enough time in a day to get everything done. I have years of things I want to do. But for the first few weeks I did feel lonely and I didn't know what to do. I did notice all the scary stuff around too -- but, as in life, I've managed to find a way to get around without going places that I don't want to be.

For me learning how to do stuff is the most fun. There's a lot to learn within SL, and a lot to learn (like photoshop and LSL) to be able to do things in SL.

Probably you just need to find some goals and purposes. If you hang out long enough, you will.

Kudos, you all, for a very helpful, constructive thread!

I'll just add that one way to meet people in SL might be to share something of your interests here on the forums, so that others who might enjoy your company can find you and make contact. Start a thread like "Who else likes making doilies!" and watch the friends roll in.

SL is pointless... that's why you make your own point, your own existance. Making money is not for everyone in SL - and it's a shame that other aspects of its potential are rarely promoted.

I'd have a look round the events calendar and get out and meet people. Live music events are plentiful and can be good entertainment. I tend to avoid the "Best in ...." competitions because they're really not all that entertaining usually.

Persevere, you'll find your "niche" eventually, most of us that stick around have.

Broccoli

Excellent points made by all. Nothing major to add.
I came into SL with no pretentions, no ambitions, just to look.
I was blown away. I played with my avatar shape, I wandered around a bit, I made some shapes.
I won some money on a sploder and found a First Land plot, a place to call home.
I've made a lot of SL friends. I've brought RL friends into SL.
I'm rarely alone.

I was an SL resident for over a year before I sold even one thing.

I was lucky to have the _blacklibrary to call home for the majority of my early stay in SL, though. With a small group of regulars, and more who came along to see it and stayed for the chit chat. There are lots of places like that around SL, some have been mentioned here.

If you just want out, then land is going for a lot right now. Sell up, tier down, keep your account active though, you might want to visit again.

Something I like about SL... saying hello is as simple as pressing five keys, screwing your eyes shut and hitting return. It gets easier after a while, too. I have very, very few genuine friends in SL, but I talk to someone new every day. That's some pretty amazing stuff really.

Ahhh, The Boobjob Lesson!

(this is what flat-chested, depressed girls learn when they spend $2,500 plus on some boobs, and come out of the process curvy... bruised... in pain... and still depressed!)

If you are really down, then everything that comes to you will be used for it's down-ish-ness first, and for the positives, only later. Round this time of year, it's not unusual to be depressed - the real trick is to notice it and do something about it. Getting around in SL is one way (even if all you're getting is some time in front of your screen as a SAD lamp), but only if you let stuff happen. Try just walking up to singles or groups and saying "hey", then letting things develop from there.

I don't quite get all the elements of the story here - you say you have bought land, but others say you've only been on for a week. I didn't think that was possible.

There's actually a name for it ?! *aggg*

bilbo99 Emu, when I win at sploders... it's usually 20 $L...

wenkinnoc, i would do one of two things... either start some kind of project or become a wonderer and explore.

when i joined SL i did the sex thing first, got bored of it and became a crack head, got clean and did a job for an escort club type place and now i'm about to re-invent myself as a pornographer. so.. there are plenty of options as you can see!

You may need to rethink your expectations. I don't have a home or a job in SL, I've thrown in a few bucks pocket money and am having a blast just going from place to place, alone. I've met a few nice people, made a friend or two, met some wierdos, and and generally had a good time. Basically I come to escape the pressures of RL, Home and Land Ownership, employment, etc. The appealing thing about this Game, Sim, whatever you want to call it is that you cna be or do anything you want, limited only by your desires and imagination. But ironically it has one thing in comon irh RL;You get out of it what you put into it. And as for walking the decks of the Defiant, where do I sign up?

Ok, some tips that may be useful when meeting people for the first time; I write them in no special order, just as they come up to my mind.

Before you approach someone:

- check his/her profile; some are very detailed and can give you a lot of info
- follow the open chat for a while, that may give you further info or tell you if the person you want to talk to is busy or not

Considerations on profiles:

- SL join date is very important; the older the resident, the higher the chances that he/she has a developed network of connections/friends and if you're looking for new friends, he/she may be not.
- The groups the person belongs to can tell you a lot, if there aren't much info written first hand.
- Pay attention to every tab of someone profile; nothing worse that asking someone about his/her real life when in the profile was clearly written that the person did not want to tell anything about that.

When approaching someone:

- Do NOT use IM as first approach, ever
- Do NOT say "hi", "Hello" or whatever in chat, without saying the person name. Your 2 avatars may be staring one at the other, but he/she may have the camera rotated and just look elsewhere and/or in a crowded chat may not notice who's talking him/her. Always say the person name.
- Do NOT start asking about his/her real life before you get a good level of acquaintance.
- Do NOT ask silly questions: if you meet someone over at a mall/shop, don't ask things like "What are you doing here?". Also don't be a bugger: if you see someone walking, don't ask "Where are you going?" or "Can I come with you?"
- Try to be original: if you meet a woman and you say how good she looks, she probably heard the very same comment a gazillion times, that very same day

Hmmm, I believe it's almost everything...

Another one...

Wear clothes.

I've been kicking around SL since beta and I know exactly how you feel. I've come and gone three times I think since release, mostly for the exactly the same reasons.

The big thing is fine somewhere that seems like you'd like to be there and just hang out until you become a regular. People come and go so much and there are just SO many newbies that I think people are getting jaded and figuring that unless they've seen you a few times. And there's a lot of people sitting in a group silent each convince that the other is overcome with IMs when in fact, everyone is just shy.

Also look for whatever subculture that appeals to you. It doesn't have to be a sexual one But there must be something. And scan the events. Among the hundreds of ads for nonsense get rich quick schemes, there are some interesting discussions. I'm part of a feminist group that meets once a week and talks about virtual world issues.

One thing not to do is worry about or concern yourself with money. All this press hype is just hype. SL is a game. It's not a virtual economy for profit. Yes, some people are so entrenched here and have great design skills or saw an opportunity and make some money. But for most of us, it's just entertainment. Don't sweat money. Don't think you're going to make it back. Just accept it as an expense.

That's ace .. um .. Ace!

Lhorentso, er, yes! My gob was so smacked at that sploder win, I still have the bruises!

Samantha, b-b-but, but, but .. but .. you do look lovely!

Ha. and make sure the only visible appendages are 2 arms and 2 legs. At least at first.

A friend in need, is a friend indeed. I am here for you!!

HAHAHHAHAHAA. OK, this had me rolling.

Finding a good group of people that share common interests with you is a great boon. Starting using the search tool for interesting-sounding groups. Most are free to join. Some will be disppointingly inactive, but once you start finding the social networks on things that interest you, SL will take off. But it won't happen in a week!