I love buying gifts and plan for months though my list of intimate recipients is short - my mum, my long-time friend (female) and three friends. This year I gave my friends 5lb bags of Canadian wild rice, and season tickets to orchestras near where they live. But that was spur of the moment. My friend got modern jewellery (a beautiful glass bracelet made to order - ordered/designed jewellery is very special). My mum got fox fur hat, great bags, perfume, earrings, books, bags, perfume and books again.
I have always (since 13) bought my own gifts. Its easier. This year an Emile Henry Tajine, CDs, and a plane ticket to my home here with 3 weeks of chosen solitude. And some art.
If those give you some ideas I'm glad.
My question added to this is what will you give your sl friends? I wont say what I bought my partner in sl coz he may read this.
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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12-21-2008 03:40
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Void Singer
Int vSelf = Sing(void);
Join date: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 6,973
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.... tasty? >=)
12-21-2008 04:20
How about one of those little bulldozers I don't know what they are called? A man's dream come true! ditch witch? (had to go with the pun) seriously though, I don't think the problem is women, perhaps just yours, or maybe your communication skills? just a thought. _____________________
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Avawyn Muircastle
Registered User
Join date: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 528
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12-21-2008 04:27
I give my girlfriend whatever they ask for for presents... don't ask, don't get. I also tend to get random things that I see that they may like or need, things they might not get for themselves, or things that say something about the person. but those gifts don't come on a schedule. This is pretty much exactly how my rl bf and I exchange gifts. He asks me what I need and sometimes brings home surprise gifts of what he thinks I would like such as a new CD just came out, etc. Since we both we get most of what we need, as far as Christmas gifts we don't do surprises, we each pick out our own gifts. Now some may say "that's not a gift". Well, it sure it to me because these are things I really wanted and he got them for me. Same for him. I prefer to let him pick out his gifts, though I give him little surprises now and then too. :winks: |
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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12-21-2008 04:31
By the way, I absolutely wrap my own gifts I give to myself. It's my tradition to myself. But this year I bought bunches of lilies and didnt have a tree.
One great gift idea are those lovely silver and gold stars from teh Met. Mus. of Art. (MOMA). And their tiny shoes. _____________________
Fine Young Cannibal
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Torben Trautman
Wish I could be!
Join date: 8 Dec 2006
Posts: 136
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12-21-2008 04:33
Women are so umm whatever I can't even describe to you my emotions. Ok. Basically, when does a women actually give you what you want for Christmas or B-day instead of what SHE wants you to have...? I mean for the most part men give what the women want because if we don't they bitch and complain. Men don't bitch and complain? I mean I see something wrong with that picture. Its like they have a higher expectation and importance than us. I'm not saying men need to bitch because theres enough of that going round. Its more like women need to love us for who we are and treat us like humans. Men should be able to give a gift to the women as a sign as love and respect and nothing else. Even if you hate the thing he gave you it is the thought that counts. If anyone has experienced and similar experiences please share. I know I'm not the only one that has witnessed this first hand. Yeah, that´s because we have no fantasy when it comes to gifts. Women know that and give us hints hehe. On the other hand for us it needs no fantasy - as long as it´s a toy (technical stuff) we´re happy lol |
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Milla Alexandre
Milla Alexandre
Join date: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1,759
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12-21-2008 06:15
Women are so umm whatever I can't even describe to you my emotions. Ok. Basically, when does a women actually give you what you want for Christmas or B-day instead of what SHE wants you to have...? I mean for the most part men give what the women want because if we don't they bitch and complain. Men don't bitch and complain? I mean I see something wrong with that picture. Its like they have a higher expectation and importance than us. I'm not saying men need to bitch because theres enough of that going round. Its more like women need to love us for who we are and treat us like humans. Men should be able to give a gift to the women as a sign as love and respect and nothing else. Even if you hate the thing he gave you it is the thought that counts. If anyone has experienced and similar experiences please share. I know I'm not the only one that has witnessed this first hand. OMG you can't be serious....ok, well, obviously this is YOUR expereince, and for that reason, you have valid feelings on the matter. But...alas....I spend hours agonizing over making sure I get the perfect gift (meaning what they want) for people.....and further hours agonizing if I can't AFFORD the gift my sweety actually wants (he's high maintenance....noone could afford him lol) On the other hand.....my sweety (and I do indeed love him dearly) opted to acompany me shopping yesterday (despite my bringing up the very real fact that he has ZERO patience when it comes to my shopping...HE loves to shop for HIM....that's it.) So....ok....we go.... FIVE minutes into one store.....I hadn't even got to the department I needed to be in....he was already exasperated about how much time it was gonna take me to pick out a gift for a child. At this point I said...."Ya know what honey, I'll do this myself tomorrow.....lets go get the stuff you need to fix the pool" And that was the end of it. Today I have to go back out and finish my shopping now.  As for him getting me gifts.....LOL he gets me what HE likes.... if he doesn't agree with my taste, I don't get it. Or...he simply grabs whatever and gets the funk out of the store. lol |
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Zillow Dejavu
Registered User
Join date: 16 Nov 2006
Posts: 33
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12-21-2008 06:20
If it's really important to you to give a gift she'll love then why not ask her for some suggestions? If she lists a few things and you get one of them, it will still be sort of a surprise. And you should do the same by suggesting to her what you want.
But yeah, like someone said, a gift certificate is great when you're not sure what to get. Just don't give one for Walmart to someone who only shops at upscale stores. Heh. |
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Rioko Bamaisin
Unstable Princess
Join date: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 4,668
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12-21-2008 06:26
My ex and I hardly ever bought each other gifts. We would rather spend the money on the kids or things we needed.Or even to just go on vacation. Then again we were together for 22 years and stopped trying to impress each other with gifts long before.
 If we did get each other something,it was something specific that we actually wanted.I'm not one for gifts myself. If I want something,I go out and buy it. Not waiting and hoping someone gets it me it for Christmas. _____________________
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rioko1/
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Klunitz Aeon
Goon For Hire
Join date: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 99
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12-21-2008 06:54
I like money. Give me money.
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Bec Sadofsky
Yup it's Iowa
Join date: 8 Jan 2008
Posts: 535
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12-21-2008 07:33
ok someone told me that when a girl buys a guy a shirt for instance that they are only obligated to wear said shirt 1 time maybe 2
 So when I got my honey his birthday presents I did go to a store that he likes and when he opened them he loved them (I think) but I did tell him my conversation and he just laughed, so figure he is under no obligation  .One time we were out shopping some sales and I commented on the lovely dresses. Next thing I new he had gotten me a gift card. And we shopped for dresses together, and I tell you that was so darn fun! Now for Christmas I have a list of places that he likes to shop at and I do when I shop with him try to pay attention and make note. He is pretty much taken care of for Christmas. As for me what he gets me I will appreciate cause I know there was thought in it. _____________________
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A very sweet person tells me he is a lucky man, I beg to differ my dear I am the lucky one. |
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Tarina Sewell
Just Browsing Thank you
Join date: 20 Jul 2007
Posts: 2,180
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12-21-2008 07:39
I am always reminded of the christmas story where the guy and gal want to get each other something and they have no money, so she sells her hair to buy him a watch fob and he sells his watch to buy her hair clips..
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Key MacMoragh
grrr....
Join date: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 659
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12-21-2008 07:56
I am always reminded of the christmas story where the guy and gal want to get each other something and they have no money, so she sells her hair to buy him a watch fob and he sells his watch to buy her hair clips.. O. Henry, "The Gift Of The Magi" |
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Steely Carver
The dreamer or the dream?
Join date: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 515
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12-21-2008 08:07
Women are so umm whatever I can't even describe to you my emotions. Ok. Basically, when does a women actually give you what you want for Christmas or B-day instead of what SHE wants you to have...? I mean for the most part men give what the women want because if we don't they bitch and complain. Men don't bitch and complain? I mean I see something wrong with that picture. Its like they have a higher expectation and importance than us. I'm not saying men need to bitch because theres enough of that going round. Its more like women need to love us for who we are and treat us like humans. Men should be able to give a gift to the women as a sign as love and respect and nothing else. Even if you hate the thing he gave you it is the thought that counts. If anyone has experienced and similar experiences please share. I know I'm not the only one that has witnessed this first hand. Wow. First: that's a sweeping generalization; do you have any idea how many women there are in the world? Second: If that's what's happening to you, maybe you need a better girlfriend. I don't have that problem with the women I know and love. They are appreciative of what I give them whether it's my time, my affection or my gifts. If I had a friend like that -- male or female -- they would not be my friend for very long. _____________________
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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Steely Carver
The dreamer or the dream?
Join date: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 515
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12-21-2008 08:10
Men don't listen to what we like, so we put on a happy face and be gracious. The women that don't are a) sick of failed communication or b) immature. Luckily I'm in a nice relationship and we both get each other what we think the other would want and we both listen :3 I have been in relationships where I've been a little short with the man just because what I say goes in one ear and out the other, while I feel that I take the effort to listen to them. I don't "bitch", though, I'm too meek x_x I'm more of a glare-er. I'd rather have the so-called 'bitching' than "The Glare!" Hate the glare.  _____________________
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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Steely Carver
The dreamer or the dream?
Join date: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 515
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12-21-2008 08:19
A better birthday gift would be to offer to wash the clothes for the rest of your lives, whether it's with a washing machine or by hand Okay, I'll do the laundry. You go rake and mow the yard, rewire that broken heater, fix the leaking sink and haul that pile of junk in the back to the dump. _____________________
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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Steely Carver
The dreamer or the dream?
Join date: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 515
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12-21-2008 08:22
i just don't know what the fun is about those big machines..we have them for my fathers business and i had to learn how to drive them and i hate those big thing.. we have a Trackhoe abackhoe a bulldozer a tracktor a dump truck and a few others.. i have an idea ..you all can go over to my dads house and play with him..he seams to love them to..he is always making up reasons to get all his machines to one spot or the other.. oh we need another pond or we have to clear this area for a road or wow this would make a great camp site.. it won't be long before the mountains are one big parking lot.  Oh man. Sitting on a big, powerful tractor ripping whole trees right out of the ground with a few flicks of your wrist. Yeah, gotta love it! _____________________
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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Brad Ellsworth
Private Island Owner
Join date: 6 Aug 2006
Posts: 35
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12-21-2008 08:23
Thanks Brad and most of the rest of you posters. I woke up feeling grumpy and then opened this thread, and it has put me in a very good mood. Firstly I would like to confirm that Brad is not one of my alts. Secondly I would like to offer my opinion that, once again, problems in this area arise from miscommunication. I have a diatribe available if anyone wants to open up the can of worms that is Cynster's attitude, but would prefer instead to offer a couple of potted paradigms for your amusement. He: "What would you like for Christmas?" She: "Something nice." With this pretty useless specification in mind, he got her really nice chocolates, because she had always loved chocolates, and he thought he couldn't go far wrong. She fumed all holiday, because her sister-in-law had successfully dieted recently, and every time she thought about having a chocolate she felt guilty about her own weight - and blamed him for it . . . Oh, and what she had really wanted was a dress she had tried on a week before that flattered her figure. She never got it. She: "What would you like for Christmas?" He: "A black and blue v-necked golf sweater." She bought him a lime green round neck sailing sweater, because she liked men in green (it reminded her of the waiter's shirt in the restaurant on the night she lost her virginity) and because it was much more cheerful looking than a dreary old black and blue thing, and it would keep him warmer than a lightweight golf sweater. He put it in the back of the wardrobe and never wore it because it was so thick that he couldn't swing a golf club properly wearing it, and it clashed violently with his black and blue golf bag - and he never went sailing. Oh, and he bought a black and blue v-neck golf sweater in the January sales. I am not saying that these are universal examples, but they typify the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" generalisation that men like concrete solutions and women want emotional fulfilment. This sort of thing has happened to me *so* often over the years that now I buy my own presents and my wife buys hers, and the surprise element at Christmas and birthdays is finding out what the other person has bought for themselves. Pep (Over to you to complain about my attitude; it is entirely personal and I will understand if you disagree) Thank you for expressing exactly how I feel, but couldn't of typed in words. |
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Steely Carver
The dreamer or the dream?
Join date: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 515
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12-21-2008 08:27
Get a boyfriend, then Hahaha!!! Lmao! Too funny _____________________
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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12-21-2008 08:30
I'd rather have the so-called 'bitching' than "The Glare!" Hate the glare.  _____________________
♥♥♥
-Lil Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? ~Mark Twain~ Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on. ♥♥♥ Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22 . http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell |
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Kaimi Kyomoon
Kah-EE-mee
Join date: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 5,664
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12-21-2008 08:34
He: "What would you like for Christmas?" She: "Something nice." With this pretty useless specification in mind, he got her really nice chocolates, because she had always loved chocolates, and he thought he couldn't go far wrong. She fumed all holiday, because her sister-in-law had successfully dieted recently, and every time she thought about having a chocolate she felt guilty about her own weight - and blamed him for it . . . Oh, and what she had really wanted was a dress she had tried on a week before that flattered her figure. She never got it. She: "What would you like for Christmas?" He: "A black and blue v-necked golf sweater." She bought him a lime green round neck sailing sweater, because she liked men in green (it reminded her of the waiter's shirt in the restaurant on the night she lost her virginity) and because it was much more cheerful looking than a dreary old black and blue thing, and it would keep him warmer than a lightweight golf sweater. He put it in the back of the wardrobe and never wore it because it was so thick that he couldn't swing a golf club properly wearing it, and it clashed violently with his black and blue golf bag - and he never went sailing. Oh, and he bought a black and blue v-neck golf sweater in the January sales. I am not saying that these are universal examples, but they typify the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" generalisation that men like concrete solutions and women want emotional fulfilment. This sort of thing has happened to me *so* often over the years that now I buy my own presents and my wife buys hers, and the surprise element at Christmas and birthdays is finding out what the other person has bought for themselves. Pep (Over to you to complain about my attitude; it is entirely personal and I will understand if you disagree) Years ago a boyfriend was ever so pleased with himself for buying me a bottle of fairly expensive perfume for Christmas. I found it understandable that he hadn't noticed that I always wore my own perfume that I mixed myself. Or perhaps he had and he didn't like it. Either way it wasn't that big a deal to me but it was one more small clue that we wouldn't be together for the next gift giving occasion. Now I've been married to my true love for almost 21years. We've each had gift giving triumphs over the years and we've each come up with things that were pretty uninspired. Neither of us has ever depended for emotional well being on getting great gifts or getting great reactions to gifts we give. The love that comes with it is way more important than the material stuff. Early on he used to buy me chocolates from one of my favorite places. You can't go wrong getting me chocolate but he didn't realize that he could be choosing a selection that I liked better. So I picked a time several months after Valentines Day and several months before my birthday - not close to recent or future gift occasions - and handed him a list of my my ideal box of chocolates. Then years went by and although he continued to buy me chocolate of different sorts for different occasions, or no occasion, I never got my perfect box of chocolates. Until about 8 years later he suddenly surprised me with it. He had found the list in a drawer or something. Honestly I had barely given it another thought after I gave him the list and when I did get that box of chocolates it was a lovely surprise. He's bought it for me quite a few times since then. I love buying gifts and plan for months though my list of intimate recipients is short - my mum, my long-time friend (female) and three friends. This year I gave my friends 5lb bags of Canadian wild rice, and season tickets to orchestras near where they live. But that was spur of the moment. My friend got modern jewellery (a beautiful glass bracelet made to order - ordered/designed jewellery is very special). My mum got fox fur hat, great bags, perfume, earrings, books, bags, perfume and books again. I have always (since 13) bought my own gifts. Its easier. This year an Emile Henry Tajine, CDs, and a plane ticket to my home here with 3 weeks of chosen solitude. And some art. If those give you some ideas I'm glad. My question added to this is what will you give your sl friends? I wont say what I bought my partner in sl coz he may read this. I think it's great to get really good gifts but not realistic to expect them. _____________________
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Steely Carver
The dreamer or the dream?
Join date: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 515
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12-21-2008 08:34
Ohhhh (shudders) _____________________
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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Rioko Bamaisin
Unstable Princess
Join date: 16 Aug 2007
Posts: 4,668
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12-21-2008 08:38
Where did you get that picture of me? _____________________
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rioko1/
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Kaimi Kyomoon
Kah-EE-mee
Join date: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 5,664
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12-21-2008 13:58
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Tarina Sewell
Just Browsing Thank you
Join date: 20 Jul 2007
Posts: 2,180
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12-21-2008 15:51
she scares me... |
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Czari Zenovka
I've Had it With "PC"!
Join date: 3 May 2007
Posts: 3,688
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12-21-2008 18:41
But thats just the Christian in them and they shouldnt be so judgemental =) A bit of a broadbrush statement there. I'm a Christian and my parents generally give me money for Christmas so I can get something I might not otherwise buy for myself. Over the years, we've basically cut out major gift-giving (which has really cut down on the shopping stress/crowds, etc.) and instead enjoy being with each other. _____________________
*Czari's Attic* ~ Relive the fun of exploring an attic for hidden treasures!
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Rakhiot/82/99/111 During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- George Orwell |
