Women are so...
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Brad Ellsworth
Private Island Owner
Join date: 6 Aug 2006
Posts: 35
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12-20-2008 19:33
Women are so umm whatever I can't even describe to you my emotions. Ok. Basically, when does a women actually give you what you want for Christmas or B-day instead of what SHE wants you to have...? I mean for the most part men give what the women want because if we don't they bitch and complain. Men don't bitch and complain? I mean I see something wrong with that picture.
Its like they have a higher expectation and importance than us. I'm not saying men need to bitch because theres enough of that going round. Its more like women need to love us for who we are and treat us like humans. Men should be able to give a gift to the women as a sign as love and respect and nothing else. Even if you hate the thing he gave you it is the thought that counts. If anyone has experienced and similar experiences please share. I know I'm not the only one that has witnessed this first hand.
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Derbor Torok
Lost soul
Join date: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 1,016
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12-20-2008 19:41
What? Did you get new white briefs again?  .d
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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12-20-2008 19:46
From: Brad Ellsworth Women are so umm whatever I can't even describe to you my emotions. Ok. Basically, when does a women actually give you what you want for Christmas or B-day instead of what SHE wants you to have...? I mean for the most part men give what the women want because if we don't they bitch and complain. Men don't bitch and complain? I mean I see something wrong with that picture. I have bought my husband the things on his list every year since I met him. On the other hand, every year I get mostly gifts from him that I do not want but that he believes are 'appropriate' gifts. This year, I could not think of much I wanted, so I added to the list "a complete detailing of my car, inside and out" -- it is full of dog hair inside and filthy outside from the weather. His response? That is not a proper gift, I'll just do it for you (which he has not yet and I would bet everything I own that he does not in the upcoming week while we are both off work). So, this apparently goes both way with folks and you are just doing one of those reverse gender generalizations that Pep reems us women for. From: Brad Ellsworth ... Men should be able to give a gift to the women as a sign as love and respect and nothing else. Even if you hate the thing he gave you it is the thought that counts. ..... Wait a minute -- right here you are saying that you should be allowed to give what you want rather than what we want. But you do not want her to do that. /me is confused on your seeming contradictions
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? ~Mark Twain~ Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on. ♥♥♥ Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22 . http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell
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Faithless Babii
Iam F.A.B
Join date: 5 Feb 2007
Posts: 1,079
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12-20-2008 19:49
hmmm..no I dont see it ...
what i saw today was SO many females out trying to hunt down that perfect thing to give as a gift to please the receipient ....also saw guys doing the same...
for everyone i guess its hard to read minds and i guess we all get it wrong sometimes...thats why its SO handy to keep the bill of sale and allow someone to return it if they so wish...
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Kokoro Fasching
Pixie Dust and Sugar
Join date: 23 Dec 2005
Posts: 949
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12-20-2008 19:52
Perhaps if men learned to share their feelings, it wouldn't be so bad.. but for some reason, men seem to think sharing their feelings make them less of a man. Mostly, we get on you in an attempt to get you to actually share your real feelings, rather than hiding them behind lots of fluff..  Well, and you to drive you crazy.. ;P
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Weston Graves
Werebeagle
Join date: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 2,059
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12-20-2008 20:10
Women are so . . .
like a flame to the moth, but not just flame -- more like the sun itself. Fulfilling, mystical, and holy. I rather like them.
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Cynster Clowes
♫♪甘い心♥♪
Join date: 15 Oct 2008
Posts: 78
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12-20-2008 20:20
Men don't listen to what we like, so we put on a happy face and be gracious. The women that don't are a) sick of failed communication or b) immature.
Luckily I'm in a nice relationship and we both get each other what we think the other would want and we both listen :3 I have been in relationships where I've been a little short with the man just because what I say goes in one ear and out the other, while I feel that I take the effort to listen to them. I don't "bitch", though, I'm too meek x_x I'm more of a glare-er.
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Void Singer
Int vSelf = Sing(void);
Join date: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 6,973
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12-20-2008 20:22
I give my girlfriend whatever they ask for for presents... don't ask, don't get. I also tend to get random things that I see that they may like or need, things they might not get for themselves, or things that say something about the person. but those gifts don't come on a schedule.
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Brad Ellsworth
Private Island Owner
Join date: 6 Aug 2006
Posts: 35
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12-20-2008 20:40
From: LittleMe Jewell I have bought my husband the things on his list every year since I met him. On the other hand, every year I get mostly gifts from him that I do not want but that he believes are 'appropriate' gifts. This year, I could not think of much I wanted, so I added to the list "a complete detailing of my car, inside and out" -- it is full of dog hair inside and filthy outside from the weather. His response? That is not a proper gift, I'll just do it for you (which he has not yet and I would bet everything I own that he does not in the upcoming week while we are both off work). So, this apparently goes both way with folks and you are just doing one of those reverse gender generalizations that Pep reems us women for. Wait a minute -- right here you are saying that you should be allowed to give what you want rather than what we want. But you do not want her to do that. /me is confused on your seeming contradictions No, I never said that she shouldn't have to do that. All I'm basically saying is if we get her something she doesn't request we get scolded so its almost as if the thought of giving doesn't even count, whereas, she can give us anything she wants and we have to accept it no matter if we requested it or not. Women aren't put to the same standards as men and I think its justly unfair. Sure, women are hotter but it doesn't mean they own me.
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Osprey Therian
I want capslocklock
Join date: 6 Jul 2004
Posts: 5,049
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12-20-2008 20:55
About ten years ago a friend asked me what she should get for her husband's birthday, and I told her to rent a backhoe for the day so he could fool around.
Sounds like fun to me, but maybe I was just projecting.
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Susie Boffin
Certified Nutcase
Join date: 15 Sep 2004
Posts: 2,151
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12-20-2008 21:04
From: Osprey Therian About ten years ago a friend asked me what she should get for her husband's birthday, and I told her to rent a backhoe for the day so he could fool around.
Sounds like fun to me, but maybe I was just projecting. My husband would love me forever if I rented him a backhoe for his birthday! A great idea! 
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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12-20-2008 21:35
From: Susie Boffin My husband would love me forever if I rented him a backhoe for his birthday! A great idea!  My husband would hate me forever -- would think I did it so that he would actually do some of that backyard work he keeps promising to do. 
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♥♥♥ -Lil
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? ~Mark Twain~ Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on. ♥♥♥ Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22 . http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell
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Susie Boffin
Certified Nutcase
Join date: 15 Sep 2004
Posts: 2,151
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12-20-2008 21:38
From: LittleMe Jewell My husband would hate me forever -- would think I did it so that he would actually do some of that backyard work he keeps promising to do.  How about one of those little bulldozers I don't know what they are called? A man's dream come true!
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"If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life." - Henry David Thoreau
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Rhaorth Antonelli
Registered User
Join date: 15 Apr 2006
Posts: 7,425
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12-20-2008 22:10
can't go wrong with a giftcard then they get what they want, at your expense  (as long as you put the proper amount on the giftcard) heh
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Rhaorth Antonelli
Registered User
Join date: 15 Apr 2006
Posts: 7,425
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12-20-2008 22:11
From: Susie Boffin How about one of those little bulldozers I don't know what they are called? A man's dream come true! bobcats?
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From: someone Morpheus Linden: But then I change avs pretty often too, so often, I look nothing like my avatar.  They are taking away the forums... it could be worse, they could be taking away the forums AND Second Life...
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Kaimi Kyomoon
Kah-EE-mee
Join date: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 5,664
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12-20-2008 22:24
If you are a man who has had several female significant others disappoint you with gifts while you have been successful at picking good ones for them I can see why you might think it's a gender thing. But there are plenty of women whose experience gives them the opposite theory. I will say that I think suitable presents for women are marketed more aggressively than good presents for men. So men might have an easier time thinking of ideas for gifts for their wives and the wives have already been persuaded that they should want those gifts.
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 Kaimi's Normal Wear From: 3Ring Binder i think people are afraid of me or something.
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Bella Posaner
Just say it how it is FFS
Join date: 8 May 2008
Posts: 615
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12-20-2008 23:06
From: Brad Ellsworth Women are so umm whatever I can't even describe to you my emotions. Ok. Basically, when does a women actually give you what you want for Christmas or B-day instead of what SHE wants you to have...? I mean for the most part men give what the women want because if we don't they bitch and complain. Men don't bitch and complain? I mean I see something wrong with that picture.
Its like they have a higher expectation and importance than us. I'm not saying men need to bitch because theres enough of that going round. Its more like women need to love us for who we are and treat us like humans. Men should be able to give a gift to the women as a sign as love and respect and nothing else. Even if you hate the thing he gave you it is the thought that counts. If anyone has experienced and similar experiences please share. I know I'm not the only one that has witnessed this first hand. Riiiiight, seems to me you're the one "bitching" with your drively, whiney post! I'd never "bitch" about what my partner bought me for Xmas or for my Birthday, regardless of whether or not it was something I wanted, or didn't wanted. I, like most women, appreciate the gesture.
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Kaimi Kyomoon
Kah-EE-mee
Join date: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 5,664
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12-20-2008 23:08
From: Bella Posaner
I'd never "bitch" about what my partner bought me for Xmas or for my Birthday, regardless of whether or not it was something I wanted, or didn't wanted. I, like most women, appreciate the gesture.
Same here.
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 Kaimi's Normal Wear From: 3Ring Binder i think people are afraid of me or something.
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5,707
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12-20-2008 23:46
From: LittleMe Jewell My husband would hate me forever -- would think I did it so that he would actually do some of that backyard work he keeps promising to do.  Yeah but a job can be fun with big tools to play with, believe it or not, the novelty of using a shovel to dig a heap of holes wears off pretty quick. Sorta like if you had to wash all the clothes by hand without a washing machine then we hired a washing machine for a week for your birthday.
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Taimaru Hak
Registered User
Join date: 12 May 2008
Posts: 49
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12-21-2008 00:32
From: Tegg Bode Yeah but a job can be fun with big tools to play with, believe it or not, the novelty of using a shovel to dig a heap of holes wears off pretty quick. Sorta like if you had to wash all the clothes by hand without a washing machine then we hired a washing machine for a week for your birthday. A better birthday gift would be to offer to wash the clothes for the rest of your lives, whether it's with a washing machine or by hand 
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Ceka Cianci
SuperPremiumExcaliburAcc#
Join date: 31 Jul 2006
Posts: 4,489
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12-21-2008 01:15
i just don't know what the fun is about those big machines..we have them for my fathers business and i had to learn how to drive them and i hate those big thing.. we have a Trackhoe abackhoe a bulldozer a tracktor a dump truck and a few others.. i have an idea ..you all can go over to my dads house and play with him..he seams to love them to..he is always making up reasons to get all his machines to one spot or the other.. oh we need another pond or we have to clear this area for a road or wow this would make a great camp site.. it won't be long before the mountains are one big parking lot. 
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Tabliopa Underwood
Registered User
Join date: 6 Aug 2007
Posts: 719
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12-21-2008 01:31
I like getting money and on my birthdays as well. Sometimes people say Im a bit materialistic and tacky for being like this. But thats just the Christian in them and they shouldnt be so judgemental =) Chinese people give money. They get lots little red envelopes all the time. So I just say I Chinese and my ancestors build the great wall. Is not really true but it sounds good most times and can I have a red envelope full of money anyways =)
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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12-21-2008 01:45
Thanks Brad and most of the rest of you posters. I woke up feeling grumpy and then opened this thread, and it has put me in a very good mood. Firstly I would like to confirm that Brad is not one of my alts. Secondly I would like to offer my opinion that, once again, problems in this area arise from miscommunication. I have a diatribe available if anyone wants to open up the can of worms that is Cynster's attitude, but would prefer instead to offer a couple of potted paradigms for your amusement. He: "What would you like for Christmas?" She: "Something nice." With this pretty useless specification in mind, he got her really nice chocolates, because she had always loved chocolates, and he thought he couldn't go far wrong. She fumed all holiday, because her sister-in-law had successfully dieted recently, and every time she thought about having a chocolate she felt guilty about her own weight - and blamed him for it . . . Oh, and what she had really wanted was a dress she had tried on a week before that flattered her figure. She never got it. She: "What would you like for Christmas?" He: "A black and blue v-necked golf sweater." She bought him a lime green round neck sailing sweater, because she liked men in green (it reminded her of the waiter's shirt in the restaurant on the night she lost her virginity) and because it was much more cheerful looking than a dreary old black and blue thing, and it would keep him warmer than a lightweight golf sweater. He put it in the back of the wardrobe and never wore it because it was so thick that he couldn't swing a golf club properly wearing it, and it clashed violently with his black and blue golf bag - and he never went sailing. Oh, and he bought a black and blue v-neck golf sweater in the January sales. I am not saying that these are universal examples, but they typify the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" generalisation that men like concrete solutions and women want emotional fulfilment. This sort of thing has happened to me *so* often over the years that now I buy my own presents and my wife buys hers, and the surprise element at Christmas and birthdays is finding out what the other person has bought for themselves. Pep (Over to you to complain about my attitude; it is entirely personal and I will understand if you disagree)
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Dog Galicia
Registered User
Join date: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 177
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xmas/birthday gifts for partner
12-21-2008 02:09
mmmm tend to agree with pep's assessment and having read the mars v venus book, its clear both sexes have widely different conceptions of life. That said, in sl i shop a lot with my gf and although I adopt a lemon like stance, i watch what she looks at and comments on, I make notes and ask questions, filing that information. Later, I would go back and pick up the things she liked and give them to her one romantic evening after dancing or as a surprise. That way she is pleased I was paying attention earlier and I get her what she really likes. Sometimes I might pick up random things I know she would like, having spent time with somebody, you get to know these things, colours they like and the look. She tends to buy me things she would like to see me wearing. I don't have a problem with that, its only clothes and if it makes her happy then why complain? The dubious thing are usually mislaid in my inventory anyways.
In rl we make lists. Throughout the year we write down things we would like, crossing off those acquired throughout the year. Generally as adults there's very little we want that we can't get for themselves. We mostly make sure the children get what they want.
So my advice to the OP is to pay attention, communicate, listen and buy purple.
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Skell Dagger
Smitten
Join date: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 1,885
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12-21-2008 03:07
From: Brad Ellsworth Women aren't put to the same standards as men and I think its justly unfair. Sure, women are hotter but it doesn't mean they own me. Get a boyfriend, then 
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