Have other people found love on SL? How did that turn out in RL?

I will not reiterate some of the pearls within this thread except to say:

SL avatars are like a sectional mirror of ourselves, reflecting aspects of our personae that we may or may not be consciously aware of. The more time we spend as our avatars, the more developed these aspects of ourselves become. I'm convinced we learn more about our real life selves within SL than we could spending $150 per week on a shrink! LOL

I have several accounts (for "group land purchasing" but only two that have become integral to my time in SL. Both avatars are me, yet both are actually quite different. My personality is evident in both avatars, but the finer nuances are merely reflective shards of my whole mirror (and a great way to explore those facets of myself).

The crux of the matter of any relationship is honesty, as has been mentioned, and determining whether or not one's new friend is in full swing RP mode, or just playing a part of themselves. Being cautious never hurt anyone, and honesty is still the best policy

Cheers.

Smell !!!!!!!!!!


According to scientists, we humans rely very heavily on smell, when choosing a partner, once you have got past the more visual checks. Yet for the most part, we are 100% unaware of it. A RL meeting can actually go very badly, or very well, due to just that one factor, and I don't mean body odour as in cronic sweating, although that can play a part with regard to excessive gas or pungent feet LOLOL .

It's one of the things that is just taken for granted, so don't arrange your first meet if you have blocked sinus's or a cold!!

Anyone explain to me, how a RL relationship survives, when either one or both parties in a RL marriage, accept either having an online affair/VR Marriage etc in a game like SL? Is this a sure sign that the marriage is shaky at best, or can some marriages support this? BTW I'm in no way a supporter of this style of relationship, just curious.

Hi neighbour
It's a very grey area .. and probably just a teensy way out of the remit of the OP .. but yes, there has been testified support of RL and SL relationships (different partners) surviving.

Most RL/SL partnerships by far are same partners and strangely on one account, there is testimony that where the RL relationship worked well, the SL one is shaky!!!!

I myself am kind of borderline here insomuch that I brought my RL fiancee into SL but she doesn't enjoy it as much as I and categorically is against having an SL relationship.

Sooo, is that one for the ayes, one for the noes .. and one uncomfortably squirming on the fence?

I suppose for some people, a SL relationship is similar to owning a Tamagotchi.

Some people's real life Marriages survive and even encourage one or both partner having actual Real Life sexual relationships and encounters outside of the marriage. So the fact that there are people who survive virtual ones shouldnt be all that terribly surprizing.

I met my fiance here in Second life we are currently living together and have so for over a year and plan on getting married soon as well and are doing great i know of other couples who have met here aswell and ended up getting together in RL so anythings possiable i didnt read this whole thread just adding my 2 cents LOL

Thanks for so many valuable stories.
My German boyfriend and I are still going steady, and hoping to meet some day later in the year.

Thankfully SL offers so many romantic places and occasions where - as an AV - you can express through SL what you feel for each other.

Thanks y'all!

Love,
Feline

I did exactly the opposite. I brought my RL-partner to SL.

No, not because RL isn’t satisfying, exciting or whatever. But we both are at times away from home for our work. Long phone calls can become very expensive, so in the past we chatted then mostly on MSN (most hotels we stay have Internet on the rooms… or maybe better said, that is for us a reason to go for an certain hotel).
Nowadays we meet in SL when we are parted because of our work. So much better then MSN or ICQ .

Morwen.

Good thinking!

Mandy C

I believe you confuse roleplaying with online cybering. Roleplaying has basically nothing to do with the sex… even less with being RL dissatisfacted.

Or do you think I roleplayed a woodelf, a drow, a half elf, a fea (and some more races, fantasy or not) because I am RL not happy? On the contrary, I RP them because I feel good.

Morwen.

and there was me thinking I was the only forum poster using ICQ!

ummm, not sure if I was real or virtual partners with my now RL fiancee to start with <scratches head>

I met Morgaine on the Starship Titanic forum ..... became huge friends ... met, along with other local 'Captains' .... spread to ICQ .... she moved somewhat closer to me, 75 miles instead of the 250 she was, so I see her roughly every second weekend ... dragged her kicking and screaming to SL back in October.

As you say Feline, SL provides many wonderful places for that romantic rendezvous but curiously, we still resort to ICQ for a serious conversation sometimes. SL can be just a little distracting

/me met his wife on ICQ in 1997. He lived in the UK, she lived in Washington State, USA. Married 10 years next May


With regard to the conversation, I should add that just because someone sends you a "photo of themselves" it's not necessarily a picture of themselves. There's a ton of photos on the internet to be copied.

Aside from ICQ en MSN, I also use Yahoo and AOL *pets her Trillian*.

But ICQ was indeed the very first IM-program I ever used... long, long ago now.


I bet that was a sight to see.... *giggles*


*grins*
We often sit in my house talking when we are RL parted... the sounds of the fireplace, the nice atmosphere of my logcabin, the music... and if things get to serious, personal or private we switch to IM..... or if it is really important, we talk on the phone (but as said, we try to limit that, because it can get very expensive... specially when one of us is in another country).

Morwen.

Morwen, you're such a romantic!

Mandy C

Indeed. My RL husband and I will be celebrating five years of physical togetherness this coming June 1st. Our relationship has survived both of us having contact with sexual partners outside the marriage, two kids, and his mother.

So far, so good. That last one would have killed it off if anything was going to.

You must be the new superhero people talk about *winks*

I know that Mal, and, believe me, the thought has crossed my mind. But the pics I have sent him were genuine and in any relationship, there has to be trust. You have to have faith or the relationship is non-existent, regardless of its nature. I can only assume that his pics are genuine too. If not, this is a fact that will eventually reveal itself. If that's the case, my bubble with burst, of course, but that won't kill me, I guess. I'm a grown-up girl. At the same time, I can only hope everything is as truthful from his end as it is on mine. And I'm assuming it is, because I have faith. Whether he's worth it, only time will tell. Meanwhile, he makes me very happy. And I look forward to seeing him for real.

good luck with that

as i said i met my wife via the internet but before i met her in RL we had several months of phonecalls and voip* before we met - so i least knew she wasn't really a hairy trucker named Dave

at least in your case, it's less likely that it is a woman is pretending to be a man


* Tribal Voice PowWow (was a great application for the time)

and what's wrong with being called Dave!!?

Of course it can happen. It's hardly new. Mail order brides populated the west in the days of US expansion. The difference is that the correspondence was by mail. You think all those exchanges were totally truthful? Hell no. But some of those relationships worked out happily ever after. (Obviously others were utter nightmares, withouth the get out clause women are happily afforded these days, but that's not really my point.)

I met my previous partner in an MSN chat room. I moved from the US to the UK to be with him, and we were extremely happy for five years until it was time to move on. I have no regrets.

Actually, come to think of it, I met my hisband on a mailing list. I forgot about that!

Ask HAL 9000

/me smiles proudly

My advice to the guys is dont ever think its real it wont be I've seen way to many woman in sl play guys for chumps and bleed them dry. yes experance here...

Just have fun with it but never give out any real life info ever

Are some people looking for RL meetups via Second Life? I don't think SL is the place to do this as AOL and Yahoo have the market covered. If you are looking for SL romance within SL then all you all to do is be yourself and maybe it will happen. It happened to me.

I'm sorry Colette, I'm afraid I can't do that.