Favorite movie qoutes

Since the "Badges" quote showed up from two later movies, I thought I should throw in the original:

"Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges. "
--The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Buckaroo Banzai: ... remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

John Whorfin: Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!

Lectroid: We are not in the Eighth dimension, we are over New Jersey.

Buckaroo Banzai: I've been ionized, but I'm okay now.

You just climbed my social status ladder by quoting from that play.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Lestat: How did you manage to slip through the 50's in red velvet?
Marius: I slept.
Lestat: Don't think you've missed much.
Marius: Elvis?
Lestat: Elvis, yes.
Marius: You're bigger than he is now.
--Queen Of The Damned

===

Sean Smith: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.
Ronald Fisher: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
Sean Smith: Smurfette?
Ronald Fisher: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fuck.
Ronald Fisher: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Ronald Fisher: Okay, then, you know what? She fucks them and Vanity watches. Okay?
Sean Smith: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.
Ronald Fisher: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: [shouts] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, well, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those tiny, white pants. It's just so illogical, about being a Smurf, you know? I mean, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
Sean Smith: [pause] Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?
--Donnie Darko

===

Tevye: As Abraham said, "I am a stranger in a strange land..."
Rabbi's Son: Moses said that.
Tevye: Ah. Well, as King David said, "I am slow of speech, and slow of tongue."
Rabbi's Son: That was also Moses.
Tevye: For a man who was slow of speech he talked a lot.
--Fiddler On The Roof

P2

Annie Hall (1977)

One famous quote, which apparently was an unscripted accident that was so funny, it was included into the final production.



Alvy picks up the small open gold case of cocaine base the man placed on the coffee table and looks at it, reacting)

H-h-how much is this stuff?


MAN

It's about two thousand dollars an ounce.


ANNIE

God.


ALVY

Really? And what is the kick of it? Because I never ...AAAAAAACHHOOOOOOO!!

"Who are you?"
"No one of consequence."
"Really, I must know."
"Get used to disappointment."

And you can't forget, "I'm not left handed either."

"We have stuffed many pinatas for your birthday celebration!"
"How many pinatas?"
"Many pinatas, many!"
"Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?"


"Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you."
"So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?"
"Tonight, or I will kill her!"

Westley: As you wish

The King: What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.
The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me.

Inigo: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.

One of my favorite movies to quote is Real Genius, an early Val Kilmer film:

"I was thinking in the immortal words of Socrates, when he said.....I drank what?"

Mitch: "Why's that guy going into our closet?"
Chris: "Why do you go into our closet, Mitch?"
Mitch: "To get my clothes, but that's not why he's going in there"
Chris: "of course not, he's twice your size!! 20 points higher than me on the entrance exam and you think a big guy like that can wear your clothes?"

Chris: "This is ice, Kent, it's what happens to water when it gets too cold. Mitch, this is Kent, it's what happens to you when you get too sexually frustrated."

Professor: "Chris, I want to see more of you in the lab"
Chris: "ok, I'll gain weight"

Girl: "can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?"
Chris: "not right now"
Girl: "well, a girl's gotta have her standards"
Chris: "wow, have you ever seen anything like her"
Man: "she's my daughter"
Chris: "then I guess you have"

Woman: "Chris? you are Chris Knight, aren't you?"
Chris: "I hope so, I'm wearing his underwear."

"Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do best to cover their ears NOW!" - Dogma

From Bubba Ho-tep:

Elvis: No offense, Jack, but President Kennedy was a white man.
JFK: They dyed me this color! That's how clever they are!

and

JFK: Would you like a ding-dong
[Elvis looks towards JFK's crotch]
JFK: Oh, I don't mean mine! I mean a chocolate ding-dong.
[thoughtful]
JFK: Of course mine would be chocolate now that I've been dyed.

and from Kill Bill:

Hattori Hanzo: I'm done doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, "something that kills people." And in that purpose I was a success. I've done this, because philosophically I'm sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.

Corky St. Clair: It kind of reminds of me the olden days, in Paris, when men use to slap each other with white leather gloves, you know, "Oh, D'Artagnan, how dare you speak to me that way". And Smack Em'.


They took me off into a separate room; I seen 'em takin' different people off; different ones of us off in separate rooms and put me on a big white table and uh the guy that took me in there - to examine me I guess - he probed me and then I was in there I bet more than three or four hours, in that room, being probed and at one time or another these different ones of 'em came in, four or five or six of 'em at different times, and all of 'em probed me, uh, not all at once, you know, individually. Later on, years later, now, even still, uh, it's a funny thing - it happened on a Sunday and every Sunday about the time I was taken on board that ship I - find I have no feelings in my buttocks.


Nigel: Ian, can I have a word with you for a minute?
Ian: Yes, of course.
Nigel: ...uh, a couple of problems with the...
Ian: What?
Nigel: ...arrangments backstage...
Ian: What exactly?
Nigel: Well, uh..
Ian: What, I mean...
Nigel: Well, no, there's some problems here, I don't even know where
to start, alright? This, uh..
Ian: Soundcheck? Whats, whats, whats wrong?
Nigel: No, no, no, no this....look, look, look, there's a little problem
with the... look this, this miniature bread. It's like...
I've been working with this now for about half an hour.
I can't figure out... let's say I want a bite, right, you've
got this...
Ian: You'd like bigger bread?
Nigel: Exactly! I don't understand how...
Ian: You could fold this though.
Nigel: Well, no then it's half the size.
Ian: Not the bread, you could fold the meat.
Nigel: Yeah, but then it, then it breaks up, breaks apart like this.
Ian: No, no, no, you put it on the bread like this, you see
Nigel: But then, if you keep folding it, it keeps breaking...
Ian: Why do you keep folding it?
Nigel: And then you...everyhing has to be folded, and then it's this,
and I don't want this I want large bread so that I can put
this...
Ian: Right
Nigel: ...so then it's like this, this does not work because
then...it's all....
Ian: 'cause it hangs out like that?
Nigel: Look...
Ian: Yeah.
Nigel: Would you been holding this?
Ian: No, I don't want to eat...I wouldn't want to put that in my mouth, no
you're right, Nigel, you're right...
Nigel: No, alright 'A', exhibit 'A', now we move on to this, look, look
who's in here? No one! And then in here there's a little guy, look!
So it's, it's a complete catastrophe.
Ian: You're right, Nigel, Nigel calm down, calm down.


Marty: Your first drummer was uh....
Nigel: The peeper....
David: Joe stumpy Pepys...great great...uh...tall blond geek...
with glasses uh...
Nigel: Uh.. good drummer.
David: Great look, good drummer.
Nigel: Good, good drummer....
David Fine drummer....
Marty: What happened to him?
David: He died, he, he died in a bizarre gardening accident some years back.
Nigel: It was really one of those things...it was...you know...the
authorities said...you know...well best leave it unsolved,
really...you know.
Marty: And he was replaced by...uh....
David: Stumpy Joe - Eric Stumpy Joe Childs.
Marty: What happened to Stumpy Joe?
Derek: Well, uh, it's not a very pleasant story...but, uh, he died...
uh...he choked on...the ac- the official explanation was he
choked on vomit.
David: He passed away.
Nigel: It was actually, was actually someone else's vomit. It's not....
David: It's ugly.
Nigel: You know. There's no real....
Derek: You know they can't prove whose vomit it was...they don't
have the facilities at Scotland Yard....
David: You can't print, there's no way to print a spectra-photograph...
Nigel: You can't really dust for vomit.


Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
Marty DiBergi: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
Marty DiBergi: It's very nice.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".


"Hello Cleveland!"

and of course

Big Jim Slade!

I worked a day on that movie. It took them THREE MONTHS to pay me (that's three months of me calling up randomly and saying WTF?).

Here's a few from one of my favorites - Say Anything...

LLOYD: I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I dont want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed, as a career. I dont want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I dont really know. I can't figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter.

----

DIANE: I just cant have any social life right now.
LLOYD: Dont worry about it. We're just having coffee. We'll be anti-social.

----

LLOYD: You probably got it all figured out, Corey. If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise.

----

LLOYD:I got a question: if you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?"
GUYS: . . .
JOE: By choice, man.
GUYS: Yeah, by choice!



-----------

And from another early John Cusack classic - Better Off Dead:

(The paper boy knocks on the door and demands payment.)

Lane Myer: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane Myer: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it's sort of a family crisis. Bye!

----

(Lane passes by some tree trimmers sitting in the back of a garbage truck he fell into.)

Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.

"No ticket!" -- Last Crusade/Dogma

Hillary Flammond: "Nick? What does that mean?"
Nick Rivers: "Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving." -- Top Secret!

"Reality is not what it used to be!" -- In the Mouth of Madness

To be fair, considering the limited release and how it just barely got a DVD release... I think only the fact that the largest portion of the budget was probably spent on Jack's candy stash allowed them to pay anybody at all.

"They spent dozens of dollars on these special effects!"

" I shall call him.....Mini-Me!"

"Throw me a fricken bone will ya! I have been frozen for 30 years!"


And still a good one
"I see dead people"

"Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"

"My hat blew off, daddy."
"I hope your goddamn head was in it."

"Oh I love your suits. It must have been a bitch to get a 68 Extra Fat and a 12 Dwarf."

"Daddy! Wait! Who's gonna hold your hat?"

Heres a few from one of the greatest movies ever made.

Doug Butabi: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.

Steve Butabi: Yeah, he was, seriously.

Doug Butabi: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.

Steve Butabi: And who do you think that guy was?

Doug Butabi: Emilio Estevez.

Steve Butabi: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there
.
Doug Butabi: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.

Steve Butabi: I was like, "Emilio."

Ahahaha, thats my favorite qoute too. along with that scammy thief guy that says he is going to take his shoes... followed by him taking his shoes.

"My cat can eat a whole watermelon"
-Rubin and Ed

"What we've got here is... failure to communicate."
-Prison Captain, Cool Hand Luke

"But you are, Blanche, you are in a wheelchair!" Baby Jane Hudson, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane

"Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" John Bender, The Breakfast Club

Name these tunes!

bonus points for anyone who can figure out what the photo below has in common to the scenes above

"You think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?" Best line in any movie evah... Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Old war movie, don't remember which but it had a line by a german soldier looking at the allied invasion fleet on D-day. The officer on the phone asks how many ships are there and he replies, "all of them."

"No one ever won a war by dying for their country. The way to win a war to to make the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country." Patton

"Your odds of winning the lottery go up substantially when you buy a ticket" Line cut from the movie Forrest Gump but is in the book.

"We have never lost a man in space and we are certainly not going to on my watch. Failure is not an option." Apollo 13

"Those aren't two pillows!" Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Shaun of the Dead, shortly after Shaun's stepdad turns into a zombie...

"Mom! That isn't Phil! There is nothing of the man you loved in there!" *zombie shuts off car radio*