Favorite movie qoutes

"Good, Bad, I'm the one with the gun"
"That was just pillow talk baby"

and my all time fav:

"This is my BOOMSTICK!"

Dante Hicks: "My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks! "
Customer with Diapers: "In a row?" -Clerks

[Randal is on the phone when a woman and little girl come to the counter]

'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: Excuse me, do you sell videos?

Randal Graves: Yeah, what're you looking for?

'Happy-Scrappy' Kid: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

Randal Graves: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme
make sure we got it. What was it called again?

'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

'Happy-Scrappy' Kid: Happy Scrappy...

'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: She loves it.

Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave Cunt", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?

"Shut the fuck up Donny!" - The Big Lebowski

"Not from a Jedi" - Emperor Palpatine

Briana Dawson

"He was vigorous, Father. He was very vigorous."

"Popeye's chicken is fuckin' awesome." -- Little Nicky

Best line ever because it is absolutely true.

"If I were you, I'd run!"
"... if you was me, you'd be good lookin'."
-- Six String Samurai

"How can you shoot women and children like that?"
"Easy! You just don't lead them so much!"
-- Full Metal Jacket

And then, my number one favorite, as the troops of the Merczateers will attest...

"Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-****ing-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-**** you!"
-- Full Metal Jacket

I like this one...

"I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you."

"...beat 'em and burn 'em, you kill the brain, you kill the goul." Night of the Living Dead

Badges? We don't need no steenkin badges!

-- Blazing Saddles

I love weed, LOVE IT! But not as much as I love pussy! Thurgood Jenkins/Dave Chappelle - Half Baked

Badgers? We don't need no steenkin badgers!

UHF

Pulp Fiction:

LANCE: I've never done this before either, and I ain't starting now. You brought 'er here, that means you give her the shot. The day I bring an O.D.ing bitch to your place, then I gotta give her the shot.

Stanley Spadowski: Hi, George. Well, uh, I'm finished with the T.V. show. Uh, what do you want me to do now?

George Newman: Did you have a good time in there, Stanley?
Stanley Spadowski: Yeah! Oh, boy, it was fun!

George Newman: Great! How would you like to do it every day?

Stanley Spadowski: Yeah! That would be neat... Oh, wait a minute - do I still get to be the janitor?



UHF

Good ol Serenity of the firefly series,

Dr. Simon Tam: [to River] If there's any fighting, you fall down or run away.
[pause; regarding the rest of the crew]
Dr. Simon Tam: It's okay to leave them to die.

~~~~~~

Jayne Cobb: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms.
Jayne Cobb: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne Cobb: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No grenades.
[Jayne groans]
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: No grenades!
Zoë Warren: We gonna crash again?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Go talk to your husband. Is the mule prepped?
Zoë Warren: Good to go sir. Just loading her up. Are those grenades?
Jayne Cobb: Cap'n doesn't want them.
Zoë Warren: We're robbing the place, we're not occupying it.

~~~~~~~~~

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket...

"..., meet a pair of fellow sophisticates, "Turkey Creek" Jack Johnson and Texas Jack Vermillion."

"I'm your huckleberry"

"You know, Frederic "Fuckin" Chopin."

"I have two guns, one for each of you"

"The strain was more than he could bear."

"We were just debating the mysteries of the church of Rome. It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds."

Val Kilmer was awesome in "Tombstone" as Doc Holiday.

My favorite quotes came from Erik the Viking.... a lesser-known movie made possible by several members of the Monty Python group. :>

===============================================

(They are loading everyone into the longboat for departure to the great unknown)

ERIK THE VIKING: What are YOU doing here?
SVEN'S DAD: You may need a real Berserk.
SVEN THE BERSERK: I AM one, Dad!
ERIK: We haven't got a spare place.
IVAR THE BONELESS: He can have my place. I don't want to go anyway.
ERIK: Well, you ARE!
KEITEL BLACKSMITH: Bjorn's not. He could have Bjorn's place.
ERIK: What's the matter with Bjorn?
THORFINN THE FEARLESS: Nothing... Halfdan the Black chopped off both his hands off last night.
ERIK: He was lucky... (to Sven's dad) Sit there.
SNORRI THE MISERABLE: You can't have Sven's father sitting next to Sven. They'll ARGUE the whole time.
ERIK: That's true. (to Sven) YOU'D better sit there. (to Sven's dad) You there, and Ornulf there.

*the boat tilts dangerously to the side*

SNORRI: Now you've got all the big ones on one side.

* Erik looks around. It is true that all the tall burly ones are on one side. *

ERIK: All right, you go there. You here...

* Sven's dad and Ornulf swap places. *

SVEN'S DAD: Ohh! I wanted to sit next to Leif!
ERIK: Shut up! You there. You there and you there.

* Ivar and Ornulf swap places. Erik surveys this re-arrangement. *

ERIK: That's better.
SNORRI: Now you've got all the ones with beards on one side and all the moustaches on the other...

* This is true. Erik thinks some moments... *

ERIK: THAT DOESN'T MATTER!

===============================================

THORFINN'S MUM: And you've got BOTH axes?
THORFINN: Yes, Mother.
THORFINN'S MUM: And something to sharpen them with?
THORFINN: Yes, Mum.
THORFINN'S MUM: And don't forget: never let your enemy get behind you.
THORFINN: No, Mother.
THORFINN'S MUM: And keep your sword greased.
THORFINN: Yes, Mother. Goodbye, Dad.
THORFINN'S DAD: And don't forget to was - you know - ALL over.
THORFINN: No, Dad.
THORFINN'S MUM: And if you have to kill somebody, KILL them! Don't stop to think about it.
THORFINN (mildly defensive): .... I /never/ do...

===============================================

* Snorri is feeling queasy and gazing gloomily at the receding coastline of Norway. Thangbrand is sitting near him and feeling equally queasy. *

SNORRI: Have a good look Sven... that's the last we'll see of old Norway.

* Sven is desperately trying to control his insides. *

SNORRI: Goodbye home... goodbye loved ones... (he starts to throw up) Goodbye lunch... (throws up)

THANGBRAND: Oh, Shut UP!

Here are just a few of my favorites...

Go ahead, make my day.
Sudden Impact, Clint Eastwood

I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
The Godfather, Marlon Brando

('Play it again, Sam')
Casablanca, NEVER spoken by Humphrey Bogart

When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
I'm No Angel, Mae West

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Annie Hall, Woody Allen, Director

My Brain? It's my second favorite organ.
Sleeper, Woody Allen, Director

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
Casblanca, Humphrey Bogart

*** Sunset Boulevard:
Joe Gillis (William Holden)
You're Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big.

Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson)
I am big. It's the pictures that got small.

Joe Gillis (William Holden)
I knew there was something wrong with them.

(Elror: Ain't it the truth?....)

***Animal House:
Bluto: "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
Otter: "Better listen to him Flounder, he's pre-med"
***

Houston, we have a problem.
From: Apollo 13

***The Doors Movie:
John: I don't know if I want to take acid.
Jim Morrison: Relax, it's only peyote.

Chew: Your eyes, you're Nexus - I made your eyes!
Roy Batty: If only you could see what I have seen - with your eyes.

"I am Jack's smiling revenge."

"Fredo is/was weak and stupid."

From the Godfather about the brother Fredo / from a Seinfeld episode about Fredo the parrot.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die.

-- Blade Runner

A brilliant movie. My favorite from that film is a one liner by Henry: "I'm villifying you for God's sake - pay attention!"

Some quotes from my favorite play/movie, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.

"We're more of the love, blood, and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can't give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They're all blood, you see." -The Player

"All your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into outline, it's like being ambushed by a grotesque." -Guildenstern

"Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occured to you that you don't go on forever. It must have been shattering, stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it." -Rosencrants

[after asking Guildenstern whether he ever thought of being dead in a box.]
"Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never *know* you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, "I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?" naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well, at least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out."
[bangs on lid] "Hey you! What's your name? Come out of there!" -Rosencrantz

Rosencrantz: Shouldn't we be doing something... constructive?
Guildenstern: What did you have in mind? A short, blunt human pyramid?

"Generally speaking, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go, when things have gotten about as bad as they can reasonably get. " -The Player

I always liked this one from The Man Who Would Be King.

Daniel Dravot: When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your enemies like civilized men.