Night of the Living Dead

I dropped out of SL for most of 2008 and have only been back since about Christmas time and I have really noticed a difference in behavior in some places. Crowded clubs (and non-clubs too) with totally silent open chat. At first I thought that everyone must be using voice (which was introduced while I was away) so a couple times I turned on the speakers for a little while to hear what they were saying but that was silent too. So, at least in these cases, everyone was either chatting in IM or they really were zombies.

Like so many have said, I like things that are meant to be general group conversation said "out loud" in open chat and things that are meant for only an individual to be delivered via IM. Unlike so many others, though I don't own any spammy gestures myself, I actually kinda enjoy seeing and hearing them when they're used in festive situations.

Please suggest this in the suggestions forum. Wonderful idea. Imagine turning off gestures the way we can now turn off or limit particles (bye bye, bling).

Gestures/pictograms are the verbal equivalent of bling.

(Okay, I've run gestures before too. Most people have. But when with a small group who are also in a silly mood.) And to a purpose - as a sort of method of communication (using gestures that seem to 'reply' to something said for instance). Never in a constant stream in a public place. I've seen intelligent people do that, though, and also some people I couldn't mute because they were on my friends list for a reason, or were also saying things I had to respond to/read.

Gesture/pictogram spam MUST DIE. (And not become a zombie)

@ CarlCorey: I can see how that would be disconcerting. The staff sets the tone. People tend to be shy/afraid to chat in local chat without a staff member doing so as well. I've also seen some club staff use 'gesture/pictogram spam' themselves - unconscionable, really. Especially those gestures that also have sound.

Note I'm not saying these things in themselves are 'evil' - anything can be used as conversation or even art, in the right context. But they are usually used in a neverending stream, disrupting any conversation lines that DO appear, taking up the entire monitor, etc. That's why I dislike them - too hard to tune them out and as spam they run counter to real attempts to communicate. Nothing's more annoying in text chat than that giant howling wolf that bumps the entire text chat off the screen. Plus it 'howls' so is usually accompanied by a nice round "HOOO". Lol

I think what bothers me most is the poor quality of information passed to newbies in general. It isn't an exclusive issue with mentors, in my opinion, since many of us throw out our fair share of "do's and don'ts" along with a fair whack of misinformation to newbies, but I do think mentors should focus on explaining the nuts and bolts of SL and avoid giving subjective opinions that shape the behaviour of new residents.

Reading back over these posts, I see very little about IM use/abuse that I would actively disagree with but then again, a good deal of the suggestions are subject to personal discretion: we need to decide for ourselves when it is ok to focus on communicating in IM and when to offer something to the general company.

The problem is that, gestures and spam notwithstanding, chat silence is becoming something of a social fact in SL. IM has it's place, and heavens no, I certainly don't want to be spammed with idle chit-chat or stupid gestures, but that's exactly the sort of bull that belongs in IM btween interested parties - along with all the 'personal' shenanigans.

SL would be much the better if we could see resident's at their best in open chat, which is what socialising is all about as far as I'm concerned.

Gestures that embellish messages about things like im-ing the DJ for requests or how to click the dance ball or remembering to tip the staff used intelligently by a dancer/dj/hostess are a good way to help out anyone new to the venue or to SL in general without singling them out. The smart dancer/dj/hostess will slack off on them when the room is full of regulars.

I agree with all of the above post Ephraim.

It would be great if newbies were told the "nuts and bolts" and in layman's terms, in a short note card they'd actually read (I recall someone handing me something like ten note cards each seemingly longer than the last; my head swam, I skimmed them and never opened them again). Get them started on basics. I can't believe how many newcomers do not even know how to open inventory or use search. Yes, most help islands show them these things but not all people learn that way. Some have questions, and others are racing through the log in process chomping to get going, and don't pay attention. So it's down to mentors and other residents to help them along.

I've also met people who have been in Second Life years and do not know the forums exist.

Also - why are there no free translators to be had when people first rez in SL? Or on help islands? Seems so many obvious things are being neglected.

An interesting point raised by your post: Why is it that gestures are NEVER used in IM? Is it more evident there how obnoxious and empty of content they are?

Aside from SL-exclusive issues, I think good conversation is hard to find anywhere. One can buy a new av in SL but not a new brain or personality. Those are brought in for the ride.

Oh yes definitely and we were told to use them every so often. Sort of like having to run a PSA every so often on Tv or radio.

They serve a purpose though. Especially if someone's just asked how to dance or tip.

At the same time, running a 'please tip' gesture every five minutes is overly aggressive in my opinion.

If a conversation really is private, either because of the nature of the content, or because two people want to talk to each other only in a public place, then IM seems appropriate.

If a stranger in a public place says something to me that might cause embarrassment, such as "Hey did you mean to attach that box to your hand?" for example, I appreciate the use of IM.

At the same time, I very much dislike being casually greeted in IM by someone I don't know. IMs are private, so to me it feels as though a stranger is calling me out of the blue to say "Hi," or whispering "Hi." It's a bit creepy. If a stranger in a public place greets me in IM, I always respond in open chat.

That would amount to 'begging' which is never becoming of anyone and usually counter-productive as well.

My point is that it's still possible to find places where there's open conversation. REAL conversation, not gesture spam. Though it seems to be getting harder.

Nice name, Annabel.

Well, you could try saying, "Oh don't be shy. Say a few more words, I won't eat you", at that point and see if they get the joke. That should sort out the men from the boys in the conversational dept.

--
Aes

@ CarlCorey: I agree.



It is as hard to find in SL as in RL, I think. Location, company and a bit of luck seem to help.

In addition to the places/events I listed earlier, where would you recommend in SL that holds a higher chance of hitting the conversational jackpot?

Why I had no idea IMing people is rude, I'm like the IM queen I just pefer it to open chat.

Yikes....a bit much read between the lines, there....but I suppose I'm talking about the Treasure that would be the one that makes you bow out gracefully from the other 9 IMs. Of course they are all treasures.



That's funny. It's just what you make of it. I don't mind spending a bit of time in IM reminding someone that might be new or might have missed a manners class that it's not a great idea to ask a woman her age in the first three sentences. I do offer a handy tip to them that if they get a pleasant response with that question, most likely they are talking to a man....and it's not a great way to meet a woman, but not a bad way to distinguish one from a man dressed as one. Maybe those guys asking you are ones that I trained, and simply trying to determine gender......sorry about that.

There's usually a conversation going on in Luskwood whenever I arrive.

Hey, some of those can be lots more entertaining than the usual mental dribble that goes on in open chat

I tend to be somewhat shy in the large group, open chat scenario, so I actually prefer someone IM me first. If I know several people there I'll settle down and then open chat is cool, but usually it doesn't work out that way.

LOL - good one

It's times when I go to a club where people are talking in open chat but I get completely ignored when I join in that worries me more!

Can be quite entertaining sometimes.

A long time ago, when I was bored I would wander into the strip clubs or casual sex areas just for the entertainment of the IMs.

Some of my best lulz have come from going to a BDSM venue "attached to someone" and watch as they try to mske a deal for me, or better yet as they try to sway me in IM to become "theirs". Some really big egos out there.

Hoooooooooo!!!

Well that's why I didn't think a profile was that important. Its in plain view over my head so you would think even a guy with the tiniest brain would be able to drag up some sort of double entendre on my name even if its juvenile.

On the same subject does anyone know if there is a group that has a tag called Maneater. There must be one somewhere but I haven't found it yet. That might even give them more of a hint.

I would rather their first im/contact with me be hi or hello, instead of the usual that I get which is "where are you from?"

I tell them Second Life...

Some just don't grasp that I do not wish to tell them RL location, so they then ask, I mean in real life, where are you from?

I always read profiles and always like ones that have had some attention paid to them. Spend a little effort on your profile - that makes a huge difference. Just don't plaster a bunch of poems lol

So should I just call you Mr President?

Oh sure. In fact I'm quite an artist in terms of being 'seedy' for a laugh. But I meant the kind of seedy where someone says 'Hi' and doesn't know where to take it from there when you reply.

That makes me feel like I've thrown a penny into a bottomless well.


I used to be quite reserved in RL. One of the best things I have taken out of SL is that I very quickly developed an extrovert and even shameless persona through forcing myself to chat. I find I'm much more comfortable in large groups of people these days and I make a lot more conversational gambits.