Night of the Living Dead

You mean that's the best I'm likely to get. Do I lower my standards or get out before I waste too much time then.

I use chat most of the time to talk to people near me, unless lag is bad and then I will switch to IM as it does not seem to have the same lag issues.

Take it and be thankful. It's a whole lot better than...

- A/S/L?
- Hey, baby.
- Wanna f*ck?

All of which I have been subject to. Over and over.

Honey, my standards are never lowered to get any man. Regardless of what life I am. For me, it was just sweet and refreshing. We have been inseparable for almost a year now. After meeting him irl, I can see him doing the very same thing if we were at a concert irl.

Be open minded you may be surprised.

Well I'm glad other residents seem to have a similar perspective on 'immediate' IMs just to say 'Hi' and stuff. There are so many entertaining possibilities to a good chat dialogue in my opinion. For one thing, a charming comment or chat-up line is much more effective and flattering in open chat where others can read it.

As for gestures, I tend to 'Mute' excessive users as a matter of course. Since I don't keep a permanent 'Mute' list, I've made clearing that part of my routine when I log off. Still, it might be useful to have a 'Mute for session' option in the pie menu for those who maintain a permanent mute list on drastic cases of a-holery.

Personally I like Nina's idea of having an option to turn off IMs completely. I'd switch that off before teleporting away from home so as not to get distracted by any kind of IM while I'm out socialising. Anyone else get annoyed by long pauses in an exchange while the conversational partner wrestles with IM Hell? Frankly, I'd rather watch paint dry or, better still, stay on my parcel and do something constructive.

Still: we've yet to hear from a mentor or trainer who is aware of this policy to advise newbies against using open chat. That's what disturbed me enough to open this thread. I think it's really slack if this is considered good practice.

There must be some substance to the story because I've noticed that newbies are especially in the habit of using IM straight off the bat.

Ephraim, it never occured to me to clear my mute list when I log off. I only think about unmuting someone when I see them somewhere else and they are gray. I usually don't mute someone unless is very annoying and I don't want permanent mute them either.

With that, I will clear my mute list once a week.

I am openminded but I am not going to hang around Sweethearts forever waiting for someone to say something intresting. If you and Linda are right then I might as well sit at the bar of the pub down the road when my husband is away. I was hoping to find some intelligent flirting here but it seems like I am wasting my time.

I'm usually able to find intelligent flirting with no problem. Was even better when my profile specifically mentioned that I was a constant flirt.

/me makes a note to maybe add that comment back into the profile

Uh huh.

You mean some guys actually read your profile. I was told by someone at the Welcome Area that profiles were a waste of time because noone read them.

Wow! I consider taking a chat to IM a courtesy to those around you....not at all a faux pas.

If you're at a public place in RL, odds are you aren't going to hear a chat between two people 4 or 5 feet away from you....here, it will be forced upon you.

There is nothing more annoying than to be dancing, and seeing two people carry on incessantly with idle chit chat in open chat rolling up your screen endlessly. Same thing applies to shopping, parties, and live events. I consider it terribly rude not to take an ongoing conversation to IM.

For some of us....taking your chit chat to IM is very much appreciated and considered a very polite gesture. Also very much appreciate you asking my age in private IM. You won't get an answer....but your scolding for asking won't appear in public chat. Thank You.

Well to each is own. Oh btw I wasn't at sweethearts it was at a Dexter Inhen concert. LOL. But have you considered some men maybe wary of initiating intelligent flirting because of a concern of offending the intended. With everyone so "AR" happy I would be too.

Try going to a concert if you haven't I see guys all the time standing around by their lonesome. Also, it wouldn't hurt for the lady to im the guy and say "nice avie, do you want to dance". You may find yourself getting your flirtation on.

This thread really reminds me how different we all are.

Thenk you for reminding me we can limit the lines of chat that show. I forgot and occasionally , say during applause or something, I end up with a whole screen covered in chat. I will adjust that as soon as I get in world!

Me personally, I love the idle chit chat around. My partner and I always try to leave an occasional sentence or two in open chat that is relative to where we are. If we are dancing we will compliment each others clothes or the music. If we are exploring we might point out features we find interesting. We do balance it with IM though keeping anything not releative or overly mushy to ourselves. I seldom participate in a group IM unless it is seriously something private that a group of us has no interest in sharing with passerbys.

Fwiw, I think the way to open up a chat history ("local chat" window became much less obvious when LL restructured the UI, quite a while ago. Otoh, opening the IM windows dialog is very obvious, and right-clicking on an avatar to open an IM is also very obvious.
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The person who told you that was wrong. Think of it as an introduction to who you are in sl. Mine is very sparse but in one sentence it says what is important to me.

Why wait? Send out your own intelligent flirtation. They are as sick as we are of lame attempts and appreciate something refreshing.

It does help to read the profile to see if they can spell something as simple as Y-O-U and A-R-E.

I have been reading profiles or what there were of them. My experience so far has been that the guy at the Welcome area was right. If I had seen anything intresting I would not be frightened to offer an open come on in public chat and see if they bit but so far I haven't seen a profile I would even want to spend one dance with.

@Sable My husband isn't here to be offended. He is away in real life. Too much. As for concerts wouldn't people get annoyed if you interrupted the music by talking to them.

Often I'll be alone or talking to someone in open chat and someone will walk up and IM me: "HI." I always respond. If it were in a crowded room it would seem natural, however when there are just two or three people I think, "Oh, a newbie." I usually reply in chat if that's where my focus is.

They are trying to cope with a system that is new to them, and different segments of SL have different social norms, so almost anything they do can be wrong depending upon where they are.

I always read profiles and I think most others do, too.

Any guy worth conversing with will have at least glanced at your profile.

Where did that come from about your husband? DID I say anything about your husband. I don't know you nor him. sseeeshhhhh!!!! Flirting and f&*king are two different things.

Secondly, I don't think they would be no more annoyed or interrupted if they were listening to music at Sweethearts.

Look, if you want some intelligent flirtation you may have to initiate it. That is all I am saying. But hey its on you and only you are responsible for your sl experience. Good Lord!!!

Not a one has mentioned what little I have in my profile yet. Which makes them not worth conversing with I guess.

It occurs to me that, having been instructed that speaking in IM is usual, at least the new people will have an idea what's going on if they stumble into an enclave of zombie-like, IM-fixated avatars.

In some places I view it the same way. It does completely depend on the location. If I am out at a dance place, I think it is fine for a man to ask me to dance in open chat or IM, but our conversation while dancing is normally in IM. At the hangout, we mostly all use open chat because that is the nature of the place and it is a group conversation. That said, when dancing there, we may also have a private IM going.

Get out of the meat markets and meet some normal people. I sent you an invite to the Forum Cartel. Most of the people you talk to in this thread are members. Come by the Hangout, talk a little. The girls can give you some advice.

The destruction of all that is good.