Night of the Living Dead

You are totally hanging out in the wrong places or you are way too picky about who you wish to have some general witty conversation with.

Seeeshhhhh!!!! back at you. It seems that it isn't just the guys that have trouble communicating.

You said "But have you considered some men maybe wary of initiating intelligent flirting because of a concern of offending the intended." What did that mean if it wasn't about my husband.

I wasn't talking about interrupting the music at Sweethearts either. I was replying to your suggestion about concerts not Sweethearts.

Or your profile does not contain anything that they see that they want to comment on??

I think she meant "intended" to mean you. Some guys may not get flirty right off out of fear of offending you.

I haven't been many places. I stayed at Sweethearts a while because there were lots of people there and I thought the odds would be better. Can you suggest other better places I could go where there might be a few brave men. Also is it possible to have general witty conversation in txtspk.

I'll work on it tonight and see what happens. Does copyright apply to other peoples profile text

hmmm...I had more than I could keep track of last night.....maybe they only come out on Wednesday Nights.

Your profile statements are very important. Mine suggests that all I do is work. (guys don't like that) I have to use an alt to go dancing because the all business profile doesn't work for that. I've done experiments. I can stand at a dance club and all I get is lectures on my profile and a round of psychoanalysis. I did take half the advertising off to cut down on the psychoanalysis. I can leave and come in as my alt, who has a more approachable profile statement....and entirely different story.

Not only do they read the profiles....they analyze them. lol

This is meant as help not criticism....but Annabel....your profile suggests that you might have a teeny bit of a Tude going on about men.

Hehe.

Well, that's exactly it.

But seriously...

A club where everyone is chatting is like walking into a roomful of sales spam. Most people are talking to, not at, one another; there are several conversations going on at the same time (half of it nothing but HOOOOO!); not a small portion of it consists of those gestures or typed-out pictograms, and it's all just so much noise.

Honestly - considering the level of most conversation in wide-open public places in SL, do you want to read it all?

I'm grateful that most people keep it in their pixel pants in public and in IM. Of course not everyone in IM is "busy" in the same sense; but I do think people have a right to privacy even if discussing picking up the kids at school later or sorting socks. (And how scintillating would it be to be included in that conversation anyway?)

I do think it's only polite to say hello to another avatar that has walked up. That's unless the two people are in a very heated (in one way or another) conversation, or a very serious one. Maybe you've had a run of bad luck approaching people who just don't want to be gregarious.

Perhaps try SL book shops, lectures, places where people chat on voice, table game tournaments, etc. Those places seem to be chattier.

I'll check my LMs when I get inworld, but definitely come by the Forum Hangout for general chatting.

Seldom ever can you have decent conversation using much txtspk - I tune out most of those guys or just shut them down with a rude comment about coming back when they learn how to chat.



I steal things from profiles all the time.

It's a rough job but someone has to do it.

Yah, but, when there's nobody in open chat at all?

I have generally assumed that people using IM when they're sitting together are "whispering sweet nothings" to each other.

I wrote my profile after standing around for a couple of hours in Sweethearts with nothing much happening except guys sending me IM's saying hi then when I said hi back they seemed stuck for the next line. Does my profile sound pissed off. I'm not surprised. But I'll change it tonight like I said.

2 more quick thoughts:

Re your later post stating you do not like to speak on voice. Still go to voice chat places/events - just open your speakers so you can listen. Explain "Can't do voice right now" and most will not press it further. Type what you want to say. At least it's still a conversation (nothing's perfect).

A good dancer/host/greeter in a club will gently dissuade large amounts of pictogram/gesture/HOOOO spam, and will begin or keep light fun topics going. Topics which anyone might be able to/wish to comment/chime in on, or at least LOL or respond to briefly. A good dancer/host/greeter will also try to involve 'newbies' and gently draw out the shyer types - taking the hint if they do not respond. In other words, makes everyone feel welcome. Keeps people in the club. It's a skill though and not all have it.

I was good at it but quit due to an issue with management - I wasn't doing it for the money in the first place. By the time I put my tips back into the other staff's jars I came up empty most of the time. Oh and if you do find a club with a good host TIP THEM.

I agree having an "inviting" profile is important in attracting folks to say hi to you. Since I have been married, the ims I get from guys are "wow or damn, you are married" But they still say hi anyway.

Join the group "The Forum Cartel", then pull up the member list and start reading some of the ladies' profiles to help inspire you. And glance thru some of the mens' profiles to see what some of those show - many of the Forum guys are very good at conversation (not too bad to look at either )

Yes it's a conversation piece.

Being a guy you may have a harder time of it in some ways Ephraim. Women will talk to other women about shopping/shoes if nothing else, and of course, men hit on them.

I'm really quite surprised by this. I routinely engage in conversations with people in open chat in systems where people have no avatars... they're just names on a screen... and even there with no spatial cues (people further away from you chat in a kind of faded grey) and no visual cues it's rarely confusing. If I'm busy I won't bother looking around for the avatar until I'm at a stopping point, but when I'm idle I'm likely to look around at who's there anyway... I *like* looking at people's avatars. That's one reason I hang out in SL instead of IRC, after all.

a wee bit pissed off.....but been there, done that....best not to write it after a night like that.

I've met many very interesting men at Sweetheart's....and do not consider it a meat market....people simply want to mingle and meet and dance. It's just like RL...some nights you'll find a treasure....some nights you won't. Only takes one Treasure. If you find 10 treasures a night.....well then, they aren't a Treasure.

People tell new residents all sorts of odd things. Someone told me the way to wear clothes was to buy something new and choose 'copy and wear'. For a while it was the only way I knew, and it made changing clothes a bit difficult...not expensive since I went to freebie malls only at that time. But it's one example of irresponsible or incomplete advice.

If you'd like to combat that, consider typing out a simple, basic note card of helpful tips for 'newbies'. I've done that and even with the ungrateful ones I know there's at least a chance others will be helped indirectly by the lack of ignorance on those points covered, if that newbie stays in SL long. In other words put some text where your concerns are and hand it out as a public service. (Tell the person what it is first, or they might decline. Also tell them how to find it later to read it.)

In fact that's one way to meet people to strike up a conversation with - help someone new. Their av may be in the larval stage but the person may be fascinating.

Oh but as to your question above: Pretty hard for anyone to control how many people are in a sim, or nearby, or who are willing to chat with them.

Gesture spam is not "conversation".

Totally depends how you view people and what you consider a Treasure.

If I am out for witty intelligent flirting and happen to find 10 guys in one night that give me that, they are all still Treasures in what I was looking for.

QFT !!!!!


unless it is me blowing the Hangout a kiss goodnight

Again, where in my statement did I say anything about your husband? I didn't even know you were married until you said it. I was referencing you. There are women and men that will "AR" a person at the drop of a dime for example harrassment. THAT is what I meant.

But like another posted suggested perhaps there is a wee bit of defensiveness from you. I was merely making a suggestion as others here have done. If I offended you and your uknown husband before until I knew of his existence, I apologize.

I hope you take advantages of some of the suggestions listed here. I really wish you luck, because IMHO I think you are going to need it.

I see you spend time at Sweethearts. I tried it a few times months ago.

Every_Single_Guy who IMd me asked me my RL age just after "hi". What is it with that place? Did a busload of octogenarians roll up one night and the guys there are still traumatised?

(Nothing against octogenarians merely pointing up the ridiculousness of RL questions in SL.)

I thought that was exactly my point.