How many get insulted when playing an alt of a different gender?

I always wonder about the fear some people (like Doggie) have of being tracked down by an internet stalker. Anyone searching my posts and SL profile, for instance, will find that I'm 39, single, transgendered, English, unemployed, and used to work in IT. They'd have a photo of me (my cat too!) and might have gleaned a few other things. By Doggie's standards, I should by quivering in my bed & preparing to relocate to another continent, but even with this sort of information, tracking me down would still be a hell of a task. Even assuming that someone is obsessed enough to do so, and that any of that info is true.

That's not to say I mind if people don't want to reveal anything about themselves. I care little about the RL gender, nationality, age of the person behind the pixels. Still, some things are handy... time zones for example. I'm somewhere between 'Facebooker' & 'Immersionist': what I'm shown in SL is good enough for me, but sharing a bit of RL detail does make people more real. I don't think we should be so terrified to do so.

Did you roll a twenty?

It's a choice some (many) are more comfortable with Kelli, it doesn't necessarily signify "terror" but I think stalking fears are valid enough too. Especially if something like that happened to them before or someone they knew. Even someone 'messing with' them can be scary or annoying, like commenting on their pic or info. Or acting 'as if' they are going to get them. Grats if you are stronger - not everyone is. And there are some freaks online itching to mess with minds. Why make it easier is how many ppl feel.

No one has the right to tell anyone else how to approach SL any more than they have the right to ruin it with douchey behavior like disclosure.

Nah I didn't roll a 20, I don't have any behaviors requiring a rolled up bill. (Btw why did you add an exclamation point to my post in the quote?) (Ah ok nvm it isn't one, you added a slash mark.)

Yes, dear. I've known that for some time now.

*grins* sorry Melita, I find it hard to resist a roleplaying joke. The slash mark was just a typo.

You're right, no-one has to reveal anything. I certainly wasn't suggesting they should. But the post I was referring back to did seem to be verging on panic, if not terror. Multiple references to people killed, and urging everyone to give out zero, or false information? Sounds pretty scared to me. And *they* were the one telling people how to conduct their SL. I was just pointing out that it's rarely that bad, and you are probably safe telling someone a bit about yourself if you want to.

Interesting..

(Kelli) People have to use their own instincts on that. That will be right for them since it will also speak to their personal experiences and gullibility or lack of. Some people don't have a great filter on what's okay to share or what isn't.

No I didn't mean YOU were telling people how to play. But some do get tied up in knots if others don't play their way.

I didn't see the post but maybe they had something bad happen, or they just think it isn't worth the risk. People HAVE been killed after bringing online to RL so it isn't totally unfounded. Also again some people are more open and gullible than others. Or they don't know how or when to say no. For a lot of people it is just best to not try to meet strangers or tell them everything about their daily life.

Giving out info tends to lead to giving out more since then a precedent of 'sharing' is established. Also some people just want to leave RL at the log in screen.

Me personally it just feels creepy telling someone I never met about my RL. I don't care if others don't agree or understand that feeling because it's just a feeling, and I'm the one who has to live with my decisions.

I am sorry to hear that you live in an unsecured location, and sympathize with your plight.
There isn't exactly a shortage of perfectly safe places in the world, however!

Imagine if you will, a land where people don't carry guns, do not claim greed is good, where life is peaceful, where there are gardens everywhere and you wake up to the sound of chirping birds every day, where beautiful flowers sprout naturally from the ground all over the place, where people ride bicycles and trains daily instead of virtually comparing dick lengths through their automobile.

When all of your needs are met and guaranteed for the rest of your life, there is less crime, stress, less mental illness, and even that is treated free of charge, and so on and so forth.

If you live in a place ruled by a "F- you" attitude of "do your work and STFU, and if you screw enough people over you'll end up rich!", well, you reap what you sow, or rather what your forefathers had sown.

Not even SL - a place where anything is possible - is a dream world like the one you describe.

Dang I should move to Portugal.

The country famous for paedophilia scandals?

Pep (Even before Madeleine)

Sounds like hell has been Disneyfied. This has been tried, it always leads to a lower standard of living and eventually the people are little more than slaves. But hey, if you like being a slave, go for it. I will keep my freedom, my guns, and my large gas guzzling pickup truck.

Of course it's a game. It's a game AND a platform, and a floor wax, and a dessert topping.

SL is a flaming sword that burns ALL THE WAY TO THE POMMEL.

SL is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly, it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

SL is a watermelon. SL is a queer bird, and a whole bestiary of metaphor, analogy, and synechdoche. SL is five pounds of flax.

Oh you must be one of those people clinging to guns, gas guzzlers, and religion.

Obama warned us about you!

So did Janeane Garofalo!

I'm reporting you to Janet Palatano you extremist and possible domestic terrorist!

Sure. I understand why some people care. I understand why some people engage in queer baiting, or freaking the mundanes, or picketing medical clinics or churches, or demanding stricter laws to protect the children or animals or people of the right/wrong faith or philosophy, or demanding the abolition of all laws (other than the ones they like). That doesn't mean I have to base my behavior on not upsetting people like that.

the funniest thing i ever heard when it came to a guy asking me if i was a real woman or not was this..
Ironyman is only a made up name to protect the confused..


IronyMan: So Ceka tell me.Are you real?

Ceka Cianci pinches herself* ouch!! well that sure felt real!

IronyMan: No i mean are you a real woman?

Ceka Cianci spins on the stage then drops to her knees reaching out pinching the mans cheeks as she inspects his face looking around like a curious lil monkey*
Are you a real man?

IronyMan: Of course i am!!Why would i play anything but a man? I am a man!

Ceka Cianci: Oo

I usually just say "yes". It's a legit question I answer truthfully.

Provided by who(m)?

There would also probably be less innovation,less inevntion, less excellence, less creativity, less freedom to choose one's life path, and so on. No thanks, I prefer a world where I am limited by my choices and by how hard I work. It's a struggle at times, but it is a more rewarding existance than the longed after Utopia.

I agree. Lao Tzu teaches that peace and contentment come from within, by being centered and rooted, essentially being a willow or a reed and not an oak. I don't do his teachings justice but you get the idea. Jackie

yes but when asked in the first 5 minutes and asked so many times..a lot of us decided to get creative with it..
i didn't create their fear they did..

There are much freakier things in SL than people playing a different gender, age or race from their RL. What about people who might model their avatar on a different RL person they know, and pretend to be that person in SL? It could perhaps be someone they're infatuated with, or more sinisterly, someone might make an avatar of someone they hate and then behave stupidly in SL with it.

Again, another freaky thing might be if someone tries to recreate a virtual version of a loved-one who has died. OK, that might give some comfort to them, but the idea is a bit spine shivvery to me.

Thank you, Dana! And I'm sorry I didn't give you credit. I plan to use your classification scheme in an upcoming class called "Dealing with Drama", and I will be sure to get your name right this time.

Excuse me? What planet are YOU from? The last time I looked, there were NO perfectly safe places, anywhere. Let's ignore, for a moment, the nasty people with guns and ideologies they want to force on you. Let's ignore the nuts and freaks. Let's even ignore the accidents that can befall us due to failures of technology (car crashes, house fires, etc.) There are still asteroids and comets on an eventual collision course with us. Solar flares. Supernovae. Earthquakes, volcanos, hurricanes, tornados. Killer ants. Killer bees. Viruses. You could die from an allergic reaction to those pretty flowers of yours.

But let's wave all of that away, too. Tell me, just who is going to guarantee that all my needs are met for the rest of my life? You? Fine. I'll come and live at your house then. Buy me a new car before I get there, I need one. And have the lobster hot and ready to serve when I arrive, please. I'll need the master bedroom, too, the guest bed is too small and hard. And see to it that the sheets are real Egyptian cotton this time, please.

Sorry, Eggy...I just reread in detail. I'm afraid I would find this proposed place quite boring, but to me, change and the challenge that it brings is the breath of life. Good luck in your search...Jackie.

Unless it is imperative that I know what a user's real life gender (or orientation for that matter) is .... I don't bother asking at all.

To be perfectly frank, half the time I just do not want to know ....

Now, I do Role Play quite often and try to make it apparent when I am doing so ... aside from that, if my avatar looks like anything other than a Human (which I rarely use) the chances are that the current appearance has a large bearing on my mood.

For example:

As an Anthro Fox, I am quite playful and a bit flirty at times.
As an Anthro Wolf I am rather feral and prone to (verbally) ripping people apart.
As an Anthro Rabbit ....

Well, you get the idea. If I assume a Quadrupedal form of an animal ... chances are that that aspect of myself is MUCH stronger that day .... the converse if I use a Hybridized form.

All are male, for the sole factor that I simply cannot play a female very well at all.

Questions? Shoot me an offline or come see me at home (ask for the LM)

I think men playing women are pretty easy to spot once you get to know them a little. I don't think it happens as much as people think, here on Second Life. There is just a lot more to do that appeals to a wider range of people.

On the flip side, you wonder a bit at why so many clubs, and places like that, are so full of women, looking to get the attention of a smaller number of men. Not sure why any guy looking for sex would pose as a women ... it would seem to me that a male avatar could tag five times a night if he wanted to.