I have seen a lot of women with a penis

How do you know they're not men with breasts and curves?

I disagreed primarily because my SL partner of many years is FTM. As a RL life-long Lesbian, I suppose I should have found his Penis a threat, but since IRL I don't find them particularly threatening (more amusing, honestly) maybe that's why I'm comfortable fetishizing that particular body part on that particular person.

It's just me, I know, but I have a thing for chicks with dicks, be they MTF or FTMs or just women with strap-ons. I'm flexible like that. If I ever came across an actual hermaphrodite I'd be in pig heaven.

Does your partner ever feel invisible when the subject of being FTM and TS come up?
I am my offline life a FTM and lived as guy for 16 years. I was lesbian too for 9 years but it was a very uncomfortable experience for me.
I was born with something I shouldn't had surgery when I was older at 5 or 6 but I was raised as female, I personally hated being female but I don't hate others who are female, there is things about them I don't entirely get being who I am.
I personally don't understand why anyone would enjoy being Female, regardless of how beautiful they may be in SL or RL.
I just don't personally get it based on my experiences.
Yet I remember what it felt like as young child being told I was freak.
Being taunted and teased because as child I allowed someone to convince me to take off my clothes. I was neighborhood freak for many years because of it.
There was nothing sexy about it for me being different.
The word hermaphrodite actually for those who have this condition find as offensive as calling pre-op TS woman a shemale. Most prefer the word intersex. I personally don't care either way but when you think of that term, what imagines come in mind?
The fantasy you have about the person or the reality of what it would be like to be raised one?
Most likely the fantasy, which is normal human thing but the person may not feel the same way about themselves.
I feel invisible which is probably good thing irl but it also has host of issues around being out, safety, possibly mistreatment and cruel remarks around others about it.
Nothing like having stranger who you've seen hang out or is living in your area who heard rumor who has no clue what the correct terms are to come up to you and ask you if you're a transvestite in middle of public space to make one safe.
Invisiblity actually is good thing for FTM's because people known to be murder for being FTM or MTF just because they have this condition.
I personally not comfortable with how most people interact with each other around gender, sexuality, regardless of body parts or fetish but that is my issue really none of my business.
I understand others have them but I don't particular want to be objectified. I experienced that when I was that other gender irl I wouldn't want it in sl or my first life but that just me.
There is nothing like not being able to walk down sidewalk to go to work or grocery shopping without being approached because of what is under your clothes like piece of meat.
I never understood that type of behavior either.
Men rarely do that to other Men but it is perfectly okayfor Man to approach any female in any way they choose.
Yet because some guys do that it makes all of us look bad and if I innocently walk down street and see a female with pretty fabric dress and look in nonsexual way most likely I will get dirty looks because of those guys.
The same thing will happen if I show in area that no one knows me in SL and its predominately female avatars because I have male avatar.
But if I put on female one I will be sexually approached by any Female or Male avatar who is around regardless if I know them.
Why is this?
Females are treated one way regardless of feminism, Men are treated another way regardless if they are children or adults.
Females are rarely seen as sexual threats or the same things Men are seen as.
Women or Men who don't fit the heterosexual norm are categorized as "Gay" not in the
flattering happy way.

One word - creepy!

I still think it's unhygienic for all of those women to be sharing one penis.

Isn't it amazing, how cruel children can be, and how long these kinds of experiences can stay with us?

I am grateful that you share your experiences, FD. It must not be easy for you but there is much for me to think about in what you say.

Thank you Osprey. Hugs.
You know why I do it, I probably shouldn't because its not fun subject.
But to inform people that this isn't just fantasy, that is real pain and complexity around issues...lot of really unfair stuff around society labels of Gender.
Maybe most don't get it but maybe someone will read it and it will open their eyes see something in new way.

Yep it interesting how things have long last effects. Be it 60 year old guy who still has severe emotions around being tormented as young teenage boy, absolute fear of telling others he is poet because he is afraid others will see him as gay....
Or something cruel stuff like what happen to me. Regardless of Gender we all have our stuff I guess. Children take on the prejudices and cruelty they see in their surroundings, they are just mirrors of what is surrounding them and hopefully they outgrow it but many don't sadly.

seriously. rock on.

I have often wondered about what is the best choice for hermaphroditic children. Typically, surgery is performed at a young age which then classifies the child to be 'male' or 'female' but I think sometimes the wrong gender is chosen which causes a lot of problems later on. So what is the right choice? No surgery until the child actually begins to display tendencies toward one gender or another? I have always thought that if I had a child with this issue (and it happens more often than you might think) that I would just leave things alone until the child 'makes the choice' by displaying tendencies of one gender or another...but I hadn't thought about what might happen with that child if exposed to other children who thought he or she was a 'freak'. Children can be cruel and they can do a lot of damage.

And before we go into the nature vs nurture point of view, I remember a case study I read once, where several children were raised 'asexually' until about the age of 4 or 5 (just allowed to develop normally without being told 'you are a boy' and given boy toys etc.). Several of these children were then put into a room full of 'gender specific' toys to see what would happen. In most cases, the girls played with the dolls and the boys played with the trucks. So while I believe nurture has a lot to do with development, I also think that each gender has an inherent nature.

Hugs to FD, I can't imagine the difficulties you have faced.

An interesting book on the subject of gender identity is "As Nature Made Him" by John Colapinto.