When did we get so mean?

No one mentioned any genitals. Damn did I type genitals, damn I did it again...............

Thanks for quoting me Oryx!

just to be clear, my comment earlier was not in reference to either of the threads being discussed (store and apartment). i havent read those threads.
i was referring to a general overall trend ive seen happening over the past few month.

This forum is about as mean and scary as a pissed off snail armed with a blunt potato crisp.

People have their good and bad moments, but overall, this forum is a very welcoming and informative place.

I doubt the Forums are intentionally mean. Having said that, I am still completely tripped out by the idea that a RA "helper" can have, as a reasonable approach, any expectation to use "derision" in response to open questions, whatever the personal experiences of the responder are.

The generalization that "the forums are mean" is probably extremely unfair (I say probably as I am unsure who is really in the best place to judge this). But I am prepared to say that if you are one of the people complaining about the Forums being mean, then you have set yourself a very high bar to not come across as mean yourself, i.e. suggesting that most people in SL are not interesting, or anything similar, could quite obviously be interpreted as a bit mean, even if (as I guess), it is meant to provoke some sort of debate.

~Snowman~

The forums in general are not mean. However there are a few posters that respond to honest questions as if they were somehow bothered into having to give an answer. They give an answer then follow it up with some comment making sure the OP of the question is made aware just how beneath them the question apparently was when they could have just given a straight forward answer or simply not answer at all if it is that much trouble.

There are ways to say things and even the forum guidlines posted by Torley Linden- /327/8d/138314/1.html

-says to be nice and friendly. Not harsh, abrasive, condescending, arrogant, etc...

We can be helpful and answer questions without having an attitude about it. can't we?

Meh. You're just used the the cesspits and the fisticuffs I am used to Hiro

I don't think they are MEAN per se ... sometimes very negative tho. But right now I am full of bubbly and I don't care YAY!!

There is nothing wrong with sarcasm. I am constantly sarcastic, as a rule, yet it is very rarely intended negatively or aimed nastily at someone.

I actually think there was a small improvement for a while, tho I can see how it may go downhill depending on who is around and what sort of personal agenda they have.

Re the bending over. In my experience it does ...

Or not.

I have to say, I never understand why people are using a product they have no liking for. This isn't aimed personally Chris, but if I had as little time for a product as comes across here sometimes I'd not be using it at all.

Service improvements yes, good product yes ... a Forum no there's no obligation at all to provide that.

Moi aussi!

<stupid grin>

I absolutely agree with you Felix. Being a helper, or a mentor, any other kind of supporting role, or simply a knowledge sharer (especially when volunteered) is not rocket science. Open questions can easily be clarified by a return question to clarify. Noone is compelled to "help", so there should certainly be no compulsion to be cutting, snarky, abrasive, arrogant, etc.

Thankfully, the negative approach is truly rare. The irony with the few negative posts that you sometimes get is that the malaise that underpins the approach has a chance to deepen and become widespread - a self-fulfilling prophecy of a viscious circle, and at worst, comes across as "I could not get it to work for me in the way I wanted it to, so why in hell should I help someone else get it to work in the way they want it to".

~Snowman~

cf. this thread.

I agree, the people posting answers in RA are generally helpful and pleasant - if the pleasantness slips on occasion, I doubt the snark is intentional.

If someone feels a post is "mean", I strongly believe they should state it at the time, which can be done gently or in PM/IM. That way, the person who has been snarky gets feedback that may actually affect their behavior.

I have a problem with threads like this, where ressentiment that appears to have been building for a while spews a fountain of vague negativity. The lack of specificity as to WHAT posts have been "mean" ensures that no one's behavior will change. This thread simply provides a focal point for bad feeling.

I suppose this thread also provides a place for people to congratulate themselves on their superior niceness. Yay for nice people! (but does that really need to be said?)

If the paying customers request it, then there is an obligation.

Forums are part of the product. Find me one successful game online that does not have a full forum with support? (No I am not going to argue game vs. 3D internet)

Communication is in my opinion LL's worst aspect. A well run forums, and that includes a general discussion area, beats the hell out of their worthless blogs. But residents don't give love points and some hippie in San Fran may get his ego bruised if he has to read that the latest "improvement" he has spent the last 6 months working on sucks and is unwanted by the residents.

This forum has very little flaming, meanness or negativity.

I guess one person's 'meanness' and negativity is another's constructive criticism. I don't think we'll ever ALL agree on which is which... Some of us will read this thread and wonder "Have I been a little too quick with my answers? Should I word things differently next time I press enter?" or "I give the best help I can and don't feel I've ever been negative - this thread is not meant for me", etc.
There's nothing wrong in questioning ourselves once in a while, even if it doesn't change our behaviour. It might even solidify the beliefs we had about ourselves before reading other's opinions... I think the title of this thread was a little too general - WE are not all mean all of the time - but I enjoyed reading everyones answers. Whatever the OP was referring to, I got to know a little about all of you through all your comments which is great for a somewhat newbie to these forums like me.
So I will now make another general comment;

what a bunch of smart, funny, weird, witty, sarcastic, generous, kind, patient, thin-skinned, thick-skinned group of people we are! I just love to come here and read what you all have to say. Where else can you have the opportunity to meet folk so different and still be able to converse?

BTW, I had chocolate tart for desert last night - is that considered pie?
MERRY! MERRY! to you all!

/me starts the "How can I become an Adfarmer?" thread.I noticed it seems to have worked for Kira, too, so I must be doing it wrong. New Year's Resolution: practice bending-over technique.

No, that would be me with darker skin after I have used a tanning booth ....

Mmmm Kira dipped in chocolate fondue...

woohoo, you just made my day. I wont mention what rolled threw my mind since we are in pg. That does bring a question to mind however, how many people reading these forums are under the age of 18. If you are please raise your hand, I really would like to know.

Most of the time people are pretty friendly here.
Yet when I made this guy at first my first impression did seem that the forum seemed pretty unfriendly.
And often sometimes on regular basis I think Resident Answers is Resident Debates.
Often I have to ignore post because it seems like people are going on page after page not really even reading the previous post. Few weeks ago they went on for page after page about whether or not the Polar Bear was really going extinct.
And this is typical thing.
I understand sometimes we are bored, looking for amusement and often its easier to communicate with others in Forums then In-world sometimes but do we really need pages and pages of debates about whether or not the Polar Bears are going extinct or similar threads?
Or people who feel they need to correct the grammar of every mis-spelled word to point out their own superior intelligence? Or example in this own thread some people have felt they have right to make assumptions about the writers when they know nothing about the person behind the post. How would they feel if the table was turned and someone was doing the same to them?
And various other similar things like this I see.
The real issue is how do you want to be perceived by those arriving to Forums the first time?
Do you want to be seen as a anal retentive avatar who points out fault whenever possible and debates everything? Or do you want to be seen as someone who is helpful, enjoyable to read and has interesting things to say?
It is up to the members of the forum how they want to be perceived or if they even care.
I figure the most just don't care and that is perfect alright to me.
Being nice isn't because you want others to think you're nice, you're nice because to be the opposite feels uncomfortable and isn't natural.
If you enjoy being opinionated, dispresctful, mean and nasty great. If you're here to promote your business and your mean and nasty I truly hope your customers can see your thread to see what you're like in the forums and take their business elsewhere because its sending a message to all who read whatever you write for rest of viewing in forum until its wiped out from the servers.
P.S. Speaking of Chocolate I ate entire container of Fudge all by myself for Christmas Eve.

The world thrives on Diversity, or at least it should. SL has become a microcosm of the Real World, and the Forum a microcosm of SL. We have all types of posters here, from the serious technically astutes, the thoughtful social commentators, the gifted comedians, and the miserable twits and trolls. They all have their place . If you want to be strictly by the book and make RA the narrow, lifeless place it would be by definition, that's fine. Personally I enjoy all the people who post here. Some make me laugh, some make me think, some make me mad, but all entertain me. I do agree with Cherry, a lot of us seem to do nothing but rip SL and Linden, myself included. But we keep logging on. I also agree with Chris in that The Providers are atrocious communicators, and thier customer service leaves much to be desired. Their New Age Happy Feely work model may have been acceptable as SL was more of a concept in development, but it is unsuited for a consumer based product. Once it is in the hands of the consumer, it's more than just The Code.Every user has an equal stake in SL's future, and LL should consider all of them.

You didn't even share with us!! You call that 'pretty friendly'?

Sorry I really needed it I was depressed.
My teleporter was broken.
Forgive me.

The odious phrase....."Search is your friend" always make me Lol.

Me and search fell out a few weeks ago.
We were in a bar drinking, insults were hurled, fists flew.and now we keep our distance.

This forum is pretty helpful, and ocasionally amusing.

One needs a slightly thicker skin, to enjoy Internet forums.

Though some say." You wouldnt talk like this in RL, so why hide behind your Interent anonymity ?? "
Internet fora have been around long enough now, and it seems to be a fact, that a little rough and tumble appears to be a universal factor.

Given the above, I think this particular forum is closer to the meek and mild end of the spectrum.

There is the occasional outbreak of hostilty, derision, etc, but these are as clouds momentarily passing across the face of the sun.
\me attatches box to head, in soldarity with the enemies of search.

depends on if you are considering a 'steep' as a time function or an kinetic function... the former describes a quick rise to profeciency, the latter a difficult one. to me 'steep' implies the kinetic