When did we get so mean?

I have not experienced the forums as a hostile environment. To me Darkness, your postings in this thread seem more hostile than anything I've seen on the forums in the last few days. Again, I vastly prefer direct one-to-one feedback over shadowy hints.

But, I think I may be one of the ones who behave in ways you find objectionable, and rather than continue to terrorize the masses, will bow out for a while.

Peace.

I doubt it. That would be unfortunate (unless there are happy holiday activities to replace RA--which I wish for everyone).

As for citing other threads or suggesting other more topic-specific fora: I, for one, think it's extraordinarily generous of your time and patience to track down and post such links. It's just *helpful*.

Whatever the OP was on about, or however noble the intent, it isn't worth one poster to this forum feeling bad about posting here.

Threads like this one is why my post count keeps fluctuating instead of steadily increasing. Think I deleted another 100 yesterday. Some were even attempts to help. But the information was contained in later posts in that thread, so why keep mine. Probably annoy someone if I left it.

Only time I see negativity is in all these threads that pop up every time I turn around about how down right mean the Forum is, so I go delete more posts.

I'm coming late to this discussion - but I read the two threads in question and I didn't see anything objectionable in them at all - just lots of good advice from experienced folks who'd been down the same road.

It's not unreasonable to expect people to read the forum archives, or at least the stickies, before posting basic questions about complicated topics.

It's not unreasonable to expect people to spend more than 5 seconds crafting their question, if the questioner is asking for more than a 5 second answer.

In nearly every internet discussion board I've been involved in - dating back to the heyday of USENET - long-time members tire of answering the same questions over and over again; of doing people's homework for them; of doing Google searches that others could have done for themselves. And there have always been cries of "WHY ARE YOU SO MEEEEEEN???!!!" whenever it's pointed out to an unthinking new member that they should lurk and read and search and think a little before they post. Usually, though, the regulars aren't the big meanie-heads they are made out to be; they are just not providing the answers that the unthinking questioners wanted to hear.

I note that both the store and the apartment threads appear to have been approximately of the post-and-run variety. Where have the original posters gone? Maybe they were startled away by the realization that the endeavors they were proposing would actually take some *work* to pull off.

The truth is that there is no widespread meanness toward newbies in here, and the supposed 10 exemplary threads are exceptions to the hundreds of helpful answers in here. Go back 8, 10 pages... other than the two directly in discussion... and one of which doesn't even truly count because no one was really bitchy at them in it... where is this newbie abuse?

It doesn't exist.

Directing people to the proper forum so the experts who live in those forums can see it is not newbie abuse.

Giving advice to actually get to KNOW SL and its culture first is not harmful advice, but very good advice.

These things may not be what one wants to hear, but that does not make it any less valid as good advice.

The one thread that amazes me is the one about animated textures, where the person told Chosen Few to "go away," after receiving cursory answers here, because he directed her to a different forum. It was pretty plain to me that Chosen had a very thorough answer planned, in his usual fashion, but she in her infinite wisdom decided to tell him to screw off. The question never got asked there, and so the opportunity is lost for the moment.

That's ridiculous.

Thank you, Qie.

I think the OP leaves us all little choice but to feel bad en masse about posting here, because s/he declines to identify the behaviors, posts, or individuals to which s/he objects. Despite requests by many to do so. Which leaves me feeling that this:
may not be a legitimate complaint. After reading 7 pages, I literally do not know what Darkness is talking about, which makes me feel baffled and defeated. We who try to answer questions are doing something wrong, but it is impossible to know what. How undermining.

People ask questions here, and in the HUGE preponderance of instances get good answers. If some answerer loses their patience and slips in a little snark, Darkness, perhaps it would be better to immediately interject with your own answer and a gentle hint to the snarker, instead of starting a puzzling thread hours or days later, a thread creating a general feeling of malaise.

Over a holiday yet. I will take your advice in this regard: sips eggnog

I help moderate a very large community and despite having an FAQ, people will still ask questions answered there or something new. And sometimes we have to bring down the mod hammer.

I've seen Strife give his stock statement as to why a post is closed, moved, whatever, but it might be an idea to also keep an arsenal of stock replies (be they links to other posts or a nice little how to) for such occasions here as well.

Just keep a draft e-mail message with your favourite "stock responses" and then copy and paste as needed. You're being helpful, thorough, and not feeling the need to "OMG, AGAIN!".

It's a thought anyway.

What is considered mean to one person is not to another
What is considered abuse to one person is not to another
What is considered helpful to one person is not to another
What is considered good advise to one person is not to another

I used to read all of the time "They told you to use search or search is your friend that IS good advise". I believe it took awhile before someone discovered that you couldnt find a cow patty in search if you were standing in the middle of it and it was flowing over the top of your boots.

Some people are just not as thick skinned as others and no matter how many times you tell them to let something roll off their back, they are just not made the way to do that.
We all think (at least I do) we stop and think before we type but there is inveitably someone out there that thinks we do not and loves to point it out.

I just pray to God right now, that one day we will be able to say "Merry Christmas" without offending someone and getting your ass fired for just being polite.

/me bends over and waits for her ass to get smacked

In my experience, this hardly ever works.

I was very tempted to fulfill her wish, but it just felt wrong in this thread. Maybe in a nice thread.

the thread title is "When did we get so mean?" so our smart asses posted an exact date and time

Oh come on, it might be fun. I do have some nice red hand prints to wear on my butt. And if that doesnt work, pull out your whip and I will throw a few whip marks on for you too.

/me giggles then bends over further and wiggles her butt some more at him

/me bends Kira over my knee and spanks her.

/me had thoughts of being handcuffed to the wall. Being thrown over your knee seems like so much more fun to me.
/me rubs her red bum as she looks over her shoulder and says *thank you Sir, more please*

Oh, it is a nice red now. I think you need a few more applications of the hand.

I think we have successfully derailed, but please don't stop spanking me. I am finding it quite erotic you see.

WOW! You two... ever thought about co-aurthoring one of those, erm...eh-hem... 'colorful novels sold at the local adult book store? (WOW! You two...Get a room! Lock the doors! and break out those ass smackers!)

(Yeah what this world could use is a little more love and a whole lot less war) Me smiles at your attempt to make ones day a little more happy and funny.....Peace Love & bondage!

I am enjoying myself immensely. /me spanks away!

/me sneaks up behind the lurker and kangaroo kicks them out into the middle of everyone

Possibly on the idiot side of the family but definately not the Corn Chip side

Hello? PG FORUM! Good lord, I'll be in confession for a week after seeing that exchange!

Actually, this has been pretty tame compared to some threads. Or did you miss the epic "does he match" thread?

Oh they never match unless you are talking about the tattoos they put all over them.
/me hands Graphic a book in a brown paper bag
spits her drink all over the keyboard. Hey we are pg, I still have my silks on at least Ciaran.
leans down and bites him hard on the leg... lets see if you can find a punishment for that one

I have noticed a meanness in the forum for some time now and I am sad about it. It is so easy to be cutting or rude. I hate this sarcasm. SL is NOT designed for that. Let's try and be good to each other. Maybe in real there is a much to be furious about. But lets stop being so insular and patronizing, and show each other that we really can be thoughtful and respectful without being simpering and nasty.

Easy for you to say when "most real people aren't that interesting, are they?"

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