How do you feel about SL Relationships...

Along the same lines, I know people who do this in RL.......not being married and screwing around, but being single and not wanting a relationship just someone to spend time with and fool around. They are up front and honest and the person agrees and fully understands and then trys to turn it into a relationship and cries about how unfair the other person is and how broken hearted they are and it's the other persons fault. I've seen this more with Men being the relationship changer and the women being the ones that are up front and honest about no commitment. Not that it is always like that, just saying this is what I've seen the most. It's ridiculous............your damned if you lie and your damned if your honest, but it is the same for RL as in SL and it is the risk you take when getting involved with another person.

I've seen so many RL and SL relationships that ended badly and have admittedly had my share as well. After a while, most come to realize that more than anything, they need to know themselves. They need to understand what kind of relationship they are looking for, what kind of partner will suit them, and learn to not settle for less. No matter how many times you might explain these basic facts, for those that aren't ready to hear them, they will continue to rush into one doomed relationship after another.

It's frustrating to see friends repeatedly line up for an emotional rollercoaster ride because they refuse to wait before jumping into a new relationship, think, figure out what they want, learn about the other person, and just take it slow. Especially with the speed and intensity of online relationships, it's that much more important that we make choices wisely and SLOW down.

Angel

well I have to say best thing thats ever happened, I am now with my SL partner in RL and very very happy

O Yawn - not this again...

/me takes Nika up and that offer. Me and Yosef did manage to get drunk on the view and the cheap wine I brought, however we did not come down happier, we are now pissed and looking for a poofer that will poof,: SL RELATIONSHIPS SUCK ASS.

I have friends if you mean "relationships" that I pixel hump on pose balls.
Then no I don't have those, none of what you asked has applied to my experience.
I have friends I feel very intensely close with and attached too.
I have had friendships that were very rewarding, and friendships that left me feeling
very uncomfortable just like real life except here.
But who hasn't felt that way?

I have a SL relationship and it is very nice. I don't know anything about "humping pixels" since we are both real life people....

This is my view. You know each other RL anyway too tho, right Susie?

Even if not met RL there are people I connect with online which when I meet, I know they are going to be themselves and that's that. I have the RL friends to prove it ... I never have been one to go 'humping pixels' to the extent where if I feel something isn't right I either point blank refuse to engage or else where there's been emotional engagement but it hasn't felt right then it's been hard to really get anything going.

I guess the adage "If it's for you, it won't go against you" applies.

So .... I'm not a real person if I enjoy sex in SL?
I do know about humping pixels.
I am a real person.
My pixel humping partner is a real person.
Therefore, your argument is flawed.


And yes, I AM a real person. Real enough that your "holier than thou" insinuations about what makes a relationship real, hurts. I would rather you had just slapped me, but either way at least I know how you feel about me.

You sure that's what she means?

Maybe I misread her if so, because I was thinking she meant the mindless poseball hopping you see happening so often. That's at least partly what I meant.

Frankly I find the pixels distracting from the written word, spoken word and ... well you work it out in a PG forum

I think she meant that it wasn't mindless pixel humping, Yosef. The issue is the definition of "pixel humping". I saw her post as saying that it isn't just a bunch of pixels on a screen doing things when it's two people in RL connecting mentally and emotionally. I think you're actually agreeing - the connection is more than what is being graphically displayed on the screen.

I don't know if I worded it well. I'm just saying that when two people connect and care about each other, it's not mindless pixel humping, and I think that you and Susie would agree with me on that. It's not like I'm your PR guy or anything; I could be wrong. I'm just making a guess here. Either one of you feel free to tell me I'm full of poo. Trust me; I'm used to hearing that, so it won't hurt my feelings.

We've managed to make exactly the same attempt to convey the same thing completely from the opposite side. I think that says it all Yosef. It sure didn't seem aimed at you personally.

I'm feeling very negative about SL relationships. I mean, I sent a partnership proposal to someone and he won't give me an answer one way or the other. I'm pretty sure it expires on Friday too....

Holy cow! A partnership proposal from the beautiful and elusive Ann Launay!? Some guy has a shot at making history by partnering with a legend! The queen of pie! Photographer extrordinaire! Witty, talented, well spoken, and just twisted enough to be one of the most fun people in all of SL!!

What idiot wouldn't immediately jump on that opportunity? What sort of moron is holding out on you? IM me his name and I'll personally find him and "Fuego" his sorry butt. (hah - remember "FUEGO!". Then I'll orbit him! Then I'll distort his Av, ruth him, push him off of something really tall and poke him in the eye with a sharp pointy thing. Then I'll kick him in the shins and mock him mercilessly, just like all the little kids did in school. Then I'll do something REALLY awful. I'll...I'll...why, I'll pull off his shoes and hair and WHACK! Right up his ass.

That'll learn him some manners.

Umm, isn't that like sending someone an RL marriage license to sign because you think they might want to marry you? I mean, wouldn't you make sure that your friend wants to be your partner before sending him a partnership request? Where's the romance?

Not being facetuous here, since I'm unaware of the etiquette involved with official partnering. I mean, people get antsy over unsolicited friendship requests. No idea how I'd react if I got a partnership request out of the blue.

On your knees, boy, and deliver the bling before I hand over my L5!

B.

Doesn't it work like that in RL? I sent a marriage license to Jessica Alba a week ago. I'm waiting for her to sign it and return it to me. I'm sure she's just busy.

I'm still livid with this guy. He's the worst sort of...Recreant! Hah! I finally got to use my POS last name in a sentence. (*shakes fist at LL* DAMN you all for tricking me! That word didn't mean what I thought it meant at all!). Frankly, I think he'll probably accept, then come in here and declare his undying devotion for Ann. He's probably just waiting for the right time.

Oh poo, where's your sense of adventure?



Which will hopefully be before the offer expires.

Good luck and all. Cute kitty picture.

Sorry. I'm feeling grumpy because I have not had any pixel lovin' in a long time.

I know it was not aimed at me personally. I took as a blanket generalization that if you use pose balls; it's just interactive porn. Maybe I took it wrong.

FWIW, I prefer cuddles and slowdances. My ex loved animations. She would spend time before hand lining them up to play out the story she had in her head. But she was organized and panned everything out anyway; it was her nature. So yeah, I have some experience with some of the more "colorful" animations.

The point I want to make is that poseball, cyber or no "sex" at all are all valid choices. The relationship is between two people. It does not have to be a sexual relationship. How ever the people involved choose to spend thier times together does not define whether it is real or not. If you feel like it is real, it is. Does not matter if it happened or not; as long as you feel like it did the emotional results are the same.

But that's not quite the same. If Jessica Alba sent YOU a marriage license and you have not sent it back THEN we would have a case similar to Ann's.

I've often wondered if SL partnerships weren't for the "weak" (those people afraid or unwilling to simply be alone)

However..i enviously look at SL partnerships and wonder why I have never been partnered.Usually when thinking back on those guys I've met who "wouldv'e" partnered me I pushed them away sensing some sort've need that scared me.

On the other hand..the guys I've met who i sincerely wish would partner me seem to be attracted to a less complex more soft type who can be easily moulded to their schedule and mind set. and ones who don't have many goals set..accept for the one of being logged on when he is.

So almost all the choices didn't apply..yea..I guess id like to try it..but with alot of "if"s attached. and yes I've had relationships that didn't involve partnering that I regretted...but i wouldn't go back and change a thing because they taught me.

What really eats at me is the guy who will message me every other week for a romp or IM me til I cave..but winds up partnering some ditz who doesn't know how to link two boxes together.

I've always fallen into the 'mistress" role and I hate it. If i find out a guy is partnered I usually pull away..out of hurt and also because if he's partnered with some other girl why message me?. But then again different people view being partnered differently and attach their own expectations to being partnered.

~Lana Tomba

I'm new and still trying to wrap my head around virtual relationships. I agree a lot with what lana has to say"I pushed them away sensing some sort've need that scared me." I feel this way often. I'm an independent explorer who wants to learn a lot more about SL.
I love talking to people yet I find it difficult to hold an interesting conversation with most people so far. A lot of one track minds out there... wink. So yes I'd be interested in a relationship but I'm conflicted. I'm a notorious flirt so I find it hard with limited time in-world to really lock in make friends and repeat until it clicks with someone. I swear there needs to be some kind of SL date matching metrics service lolz. Ultimately I'm trying to stay free and unattached yet I do envy partners when I see them exploring together or canoodiling.
By the way the gifting thing? How do people feel about receiving gifts from acquaintances that you barely know. I've met some generous and nice people lately but then I feel awkward becuase I sense some kind of expectation from the gifting. Is there some kind of SL etiquette on this?


~Joan

Does that mean I can refer to myself as the Jessica Alba of SL?

Of course. I'm the Rodney Dangerfield of Second Life. Just a lot less funny or interesting.

I find it charming that you would step down to her level -- from goddess to angel -- but if you are not afraid of Jessica riding on your coat tails then sure. Do as you wish.